Santa Popo


Santa PopoFor Nicholas

In a small town in Florida lived a little dog named Penelope. She was a delightful little thing, barely ten pounds and small enough to hold in the crook of your arm with no trouble. She lived with a family in which there were no small children but she was very loved and cared for. She was an affectionate sort, given to cuddling whenever possible, kissing her owners often and giving them hours of delight with her antics.

Not far away lived a little boy named Nicholas and he was two years old, a wonderful age to be indeed. His mommy and daddy were friends with the owners of Penelope and they saw each other often. Nicholas’ mommy even worked with Penelope’s mommy. The two families went to the park with Nicholas from time to time, or to the movies or sometimes they’d just spend an evening playing board games.

Nicholas was one of those little boys who had a smile that couldn’t be resisted. Once you saw it, your whole body would turn warm and fuzzy and that smile would penetrate straight into your heart until you were smiling yourself. Then, you’d pass that smile to others that you encountered, each smile going from heart to heart until this little Florida town was one of the happiest places on Earth.

Everyone loved Penelope but particularly Nicholas who called her by her nickname which was Popo (Penelope was a little too hard for young Nicholas to get his mouth around just yet). His smile would get even brighter and bigger whenever he went to visit Popo or she came to visit him. They would chase each other around everywhere and Nicholas would laugh and laugh and laugh. Penelope, who also had a wonderful doggie smile, would laugh too in her own doggie way. No matter how bad a day the adults were having, the sight of Nicholas and Popo together never failed to make them feel better.

That year, Christmas was a little colder than usual – for Florida, that is which is to say not very cold at all compared to everywhere else. Penelope’s mommy had been sick for some time, which made things hard on Penelope’s daddy who to begin with had health problems of his own and also on Nicholas’ mommy who was new to her job and was now having to learn her way around without her friend to guide her as much. Penelope, sensing how sick her mommy was, spent a lot of time curled up in her lap as her mommy watched television or played on her tablet. Penelope’s presence made her mommy feel better which was a good thing, but it did mean that Penelope didn’t get to spend as much time with her friend Nicholas.

It would break his mommy’s heart when he would ask for his friend Popo and his mommy would have to say she couldn’t come over. “Popo’s house,” Nicholas would say but because Penelope’s mommy was sick they couldn’t go over. Nicholas didn’t cry because he was a brave big boy, but he would still feel sad.

Nicholas’ parents invited Penelope and her family over for Christmas, knowing that because Penelopes’s mommy and daddy really couldn’t make much of a Christmas for themselves. Nicholas was looking forward to seeing his friend again and was more excited about that than for opening presents, although he loved the shiny tinsel on the tree and the beautiful twinkling lights. He would stand and look at the tree with shining eyes, a big contented grin on his face.

It was Christmas Eve and time for Nicholas to go to bed but he was so excited! He wanted to stay up all night but his mommy wouldn’t let him. “Time to sleep,” she announced and that was that. Nicholas finally went to bed in his crib and sat in the dark of his bedroom lit by a night light (he wasn’t scared of the dark but he liked the night light) and thought about having his friend Popo come to visit him.

At last his mommy and daddy finished doing what parents do on Christmas Eve and they went to bed themselves, listening to their son’s bedroom and hearing only the sound of his breathing before drifting off to sleep themselves. All was quiet.

Nicholas was thinking so hard about his friend that he could see her sitting in his room, her brown eyes wide and friendly, her tongue lolling out of her smiling mouth, her fluffy tail like a plume wagging back and forth so fast it might fly off on its own at any moment. Nicholas was a little puzzled by the silver glow that surrounded her  and at the red Santa hat with white fur trim that she wore. To him she looked like the sweetest little elf that ever was. “Popo!” he sighed softly, seeing his friend and feeling safe and happy.

Penelope spoke. “Tonight is Christmas Eve and on this special night we dogs are allowed to speak but only to very special people.” Nicholas looked at her as if seeing a dog talk was the most natural thing in the world – why, it happened every day of course! But of course dogs don’t talk and had Nicholas’ daddy been there he would have fainted dead away but Nicholas wasn’t surprised in the least. Penelope continued, “You carry the name of Santa Claus as your own. That’s a very wonderful name to have.” Nicholas nodded and giggled. He loved his name and he especially loved hearing his mommy say it.

“It’s not common knowledge, but we dogs help Santa with his important work. There are so many children in the world, he can’t watch them all the time. He uses us dogs to keep an eye on you, to find out who’s naughty and who’s nice. Once in awhile, we find someone who has so much happiness in them that they can’t help spread it around to the world. You’re just like that Nicholas.” Nicholas clapped his hands and let out a loud giggle. In their bedroom his parents snored in their sleep, oblivious.

Penelope leaped into his crib and curled up with her friend. “You’re a very special little boy Nicholas. You have it in you to bring great joy and happiness to the whole world. It is my job and the job of every doggie in the world to take care of children like you. You have the same gift as Santa – and the world needs as many people like you in it as it can get.” Nicholas cooed, stroking Popo’s soft fur and as content as a little boy can be when hugging a beloved dog. Nicholas asked Popo “Stay?” She smiled and said “Just for tonight. I must also take care of my own family in the morning but I’ll keep you warm and safe tonight.” Nicholas hugged her tight. “Popo talk!”

Popo snuggled against him. “You can always hear me in your heart. I will speak to you there.” He began to feel sleepy and he curled up with Popo. She gave him a special Popo kiss on the forehead and whispered “Sleep well, Nicholas. You have so much ahead of you.” Nicholas fell asleep with his arms wrapped around his friend. She curled up with him and let the night flow over her.

In the morning Nicholas woke up and he was alone. “Popo!” he called out. His mother, already awake, came into his bedroom. “Merry Christmas!” she exclamed, picking her son up and giving him a huge Christmas morning hug (the best kind). Nicholas’ disappointment that his friend wasn’t there was forgotten as he hugged his mommy back with all the strength his two-year-old arms could muster. “Yes, Popo is coming to visit you today,” she smiled as she carried Nicholas into the kitchen to give him a little breakfast before they opened presents.

Later that afternoon, Penelope and her mommy and daddy came to visit and Nicholas was overjoyed to see his friend, laughing at the silly sweater her mommy and daddy had put on her. “Popo talk!” said Nicholas. Penelope gave him a sly wink and barked in the friendly way she did. Nicholas’ mom laughed. “Silly,” she said to her son, “Dogs can’t talk!” Penelope’s mommy and daddy exchanged a knowing glance. Only a select few get to hear dogs talk on Christmas eve but only the sweetest and most loving sorts can hear them the whole year round and most of them were children. As Nicholas hugged his friend Popo, he could plainly hear her say “Merry Christmas Nicholas!” He gave his friend a kiss which got an “awww” from both sets of parents and would send fresh sets of joy to be spread throughout the neighborhood, passed on by those who had felt it firsthand.

So don’t be surprised those of you parents with dogs to see your children talking to them. Just because you can’t hear it doesn’t mean they aren’t answering.

A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas


Neil. Patrick. Harris. Is. God.

Neil. Patrick. Harris. Is. God.

(1988) Comedy (New Line) John Cho, Kal Penn, Paula Garces, Danneel Harris, Tom Lennon, Danny Trejo, Elias Koteas, Eddie Kaye Thomas, Neil Patrick Harris, Amir Blumenfeld, David Krumholtz, Patton Oswalt, RZA, Richard Riehle, Jake Johnson, Melissa Ordway. Directed by Todd Strauss-Schulson

 The Holly and the Quill

Christmas is a time for family. For bonding with those friends who have been beside you the entire year. To have kindness and concern for others, to have peace and compassion on your mind.

This movie is about none of those things. Our heroes, following the events of Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay have drifted apart. Kumar Patel (Penn) has left medical school after failing the drug test and lives in the same ratty apartment he once shared with Harold Lee (Cho), who has become a big-time Wall Street investor (and has protestors ringing his office). He is married to Maria (Garces) whom he is trying to get pregnant in order to impress his father-in-law (Trejo) who doesn’t impress easily.

Kumar has been dumped by Vanessa (Harris) who is pregnant with his rugrat. He’s also scored an impressive stash from a mall Santa (Oswalt) which he intends to spend Christmas smoking himself into sweet spliff oblivion. But he receives a package that is meant for Harold and decides to deliver it in person to his former best bud.

Harold though has problems of his own. His home has been invaded by his future family (who arrived by the busload) and his dad-in-law wants this Christmas to be perfect. To that end he’s brought a 12-foot Douglas Fir that he has spent the last eight years raising, making sure that the dimensions were just right, that the branches opened up just so. Once decorated, it is indeed a magnificent tree.

As he and his family go to celebrate Mass, Kumar comes by with the package which turns out to be a gigantic joint. As Harold no longer partakes, he tosses the massive thing out the door. Kumar, irritated, decides to light it up for himself but somehow, almost by magic, the joint floats back into the house and lights the tree on fire.

Harold is mortified. He has only a few hours to replace the tree and potentially save his marriage. Kumar, feeling a little guilty, decides to help out along with his friend Adrian (Blumenfeld) and Harold’s friend Todd (Lennon) and Todd’s toddler. In the course of the night, they will deal with Ukrainian mobsters, ghetto tree lot entrepreneurs, a coked-out infant, emergency surgery on the real Santa after they accidentally shoot him, and appearing in the chorus line of a Broadway musical starring Neil Patrick Harris which is a bit disconcerting to our intrepid heroes since he was killed in the last movie. Listen, he’s N.P. Freakin’ H, motherf****r so don’t be hatin’.

It’s been said in other places by finer writers than I that Harold and Kumar are essentially the Cheech and Chong for the 21st century. That’s cool by me; not being a stoner I don’t really get the humor as much but then there’s room for all sorts of movies and who am I to deny the Stoner Nation their due. I’ve seen the first and now this, the third, movie in the franchise and in all honesty, the first is a much better movie than this (to the surprise of no one). That doesn’t mean it doesn’t have it’s worthwhile moments however.

This is no Christmas movie for the entire family to gather around the flat screen for. There is a lot of sexual humor, some of it quite crude as well as plenty of nudity and drug use. While some will laugh out loud at some of the pretty consistently lowbrow humor (it wouldn’t hurt to fire one up before you fire up the Blu-Ray), I don’t think even those toasted out of their skulls are going to find this a laugh fest from start to finish.

I will say that Cho and Penn have an easy-going chemistry and I think it was a bit of a mistake to have them on the outs for most of the movie. Part of the charm of the first movie was the relationship between the two and that’s largely missing here until the end. However, one cannot discount the contributions of Neil Patrick Harris. Even though he’s essentially in one scene, it’s the best scene and illustrates why the man’s an icon, a credit to the human race and just a gosh-darned all around nice guy. While he’s no Dr. Horrible here, he constitutes one of the main reasons to see the film – or any film for that matter. Even if he’s not in it.

The 3D is pretty nifty although I suppose at this point it will largely depend on if your 3D set is nifty as well – I’ve found a pretty staggering range of quality in 3D televisions. The jokes are more or less uneven although I found some sequences (as one where they start hallucinating that they are Claymation figures) to be pretty worthwhile. This isn’t a family holiday movie by any stretch of the imagination – but I think it’s not necessarily a bad thing if there are a few out there that aren’t.

WHY RENT THIS: Three words: Neil. Patrick. Harris. Also, Cho and Penn still have good chemistry. Some nifty 3D effects.

WHY RENT SOMETHING ELSE: The humor is a bit tired and not all of it works.

FAMILY VALUES:  Lots and lots and lots of sexual content with occasional nudity and regular crudity, plenty of drug use, a boatload of foul language and a bit of violence. Just a bit.

TRIVIAL PURSUIT: Adrian calls Harold “Sulu” at one point. John Cho plays Sulu in the Star Trek reboot.

NOTABLE HOME VIDEO EXTRAS: Actor Tom Lennon rants about his fellow actors and the films in six separate interview segments and there’s also a bit on the brief Claymation sequence in the film.

BOX OFFICE PERFORMANCE: $35.4M on a $19M production budget; the numbers were disappointing enough that a fourth Harold & Kumar movie isn’t on the radar.

COMPARISON SHOPPING: Cheech and Chong’s Nice Dreams

FINAL RATING: 5.5/10

NEXT: The Holly & the Quill concludes!

Rise of the Guardians


Rise of the Guardians

Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream…

(2012) Animated Feature (DreamWorks) Starring the voices of Alec Baldwin, Chris Pine, Isla Fisher, Hugh Jackman, Jude Law, Dakota Goyo, Khamani Griffin, Kamil McFadden, Dominique Grund, Georgie Grieve, Emily Nordwind, Jacob Bertrand, Olivia Mattingly, April Lawrence. Directed by Peter Ramsey

 

Certain figures hold a kind of reverence in all of our childhoods; the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy and of course Santa Claus. They are symbols of various aspects of our youth and remind us that who we are now is informed by who we were then. These figures are venerated because of their association with children. They are protectors of their innocence. They are guardians.

Jack Frost (Pine) is a mischievous sort, the sort who brings snow and ice to cold climates and provides children everywhere with snow days. When you’re hit in the face with a stray snowball that nobody can remember throwing, he’s likely to be the culprit. Nobody can see him, after all because nobody really believes in him. This depresses him somewhat.

But he has been chosen to be the newest Guardian by the enigmatic Man in the Moon (who never speaks). The current Guardians – Santa Claus (Baldwin), a buff Russian accented behemoth who answers to North and carries swords as well as candy canes, The Easter Bunny (Jackman) who speaks with an Australian lilt, tosses boomerangs and exploding eggs in battle and travels by magical portals through the underground; the Sandman, a pint-sized sleepy sort who visualizes his thoughts through sand and uses sandy whips to create creams, and the Tooth Fairy (Fisher) who commands an army of little hummingbird-like fairies that collect teeth in which childhood memories are stored – are aware that one of their own, the Boogie Man who also is known as Pitch (Law) who has spent centuries preparing for his own moment – to use the Sandman’s ability to create good dreams and perverting it to cause nightmares and fear. And as the kids of the world lose faith in their Guardians, the Guardians begin to disappear and lose their powers.

The lynchpin is Jack Frost, but he may not be up to the task. How can someone nobody believes in become a hero?

I kind of like the concept here, although I do admit that it likely posed all sorts of problems not only for the filmmaker but for William Joyce, the author of the children’s books that this movie was (loosely) based on. Creating characters that not only contain the traits that kids know and love about these legends but also are believable as a superhero team is a bit of a tricky prospect.

It doesn’t always work. Think of Super Friends with better animation, a reference which probably flies over the head of most kids whom this is aimed at and that’s just as well. The target audience has barely lived long enough to be in kindergarten.

There is plenty of color here and some truly magical moments, most of which have to do with visiting the homes of these characters. Santa’s workshop, for example, is staffed by Yeti toymakers (who look like the lovechildren of Bigfoot and Wilford Brimley) and elves who might remind some of the Minions of Despicable Me. The Easter Bunny’s warren has Pacific Island-looking stone heads, trees that dispense little eggs with legs that walk through a Willy Wonka-looking contraption that paints them. The Tooth Fairy’s castle is a cross between a Disney princess abode, a dentist’s office and Hogwarts’ Castle.

I’m not sure why Baldwin picked a Russian/Slavic accent for Santa – if he wanted to be a bit more accurate he might have gone Germanic with it but I suppose it might be a bit too easy to characterize Santa as a Nazi had he done that. In fact, most of the vocal work is pretty adequate and I do like some of the characterizations (like the flirtatious Tooth Fairy who has a thing for Jack’s teeth). The Easter Bunny is a bit impatient and trades barbs with Jack who is on the Bunny’s poo list for causing a blizzard a few Easters back.

Da Queen liked this a lot better than I did. She commented afterwards on the messages of working as a team, putting the greater good ahead of your own personal needs and the need for sacrifice – and it’s rare I admit that you see that sort of pointing towards selflessness in modern animated features which more often stress being true to yourself than being true to the world.

Still, I had trouble with the rather predictable story and it’s overuse of Jack’s angst as a plot point. There were also several superhero poses that were a bit incongruous – you know, the crouch with arms outstretched, staffs and swords pointed in aggressive poses. I suppose that the message that problems need to be solved with violence is also kind of ingrained in this – no attempt is ever made to negotiate with Pitch and his own issues, which get revealed late in the film, seem to be made light of because, by nature, Pitch is Bad which means that some people are naturally Bad and should be dealt with violently which I kind of had issues with. Call me a bleeding heart liberal if you will.

Even so this is solid entertainment that small kids will adore and their parents won’t feel is a burden for them to watch with their progeny. Be advised that although Santa is being marketed as a central character (which he is), this isn’t strictly speaking a Christmas movie so if you’re expecting one, you might leave disappointed.

REASONS TO GO: Kind of fun to see all those characters together. Visually inventive.

REASONS TO STAY: Story is much too predictable.

FAMILY VALUES:  The themes and some of the action sequences might be a little scary for the wee ones, especially if they’re impressionable.

TRIVIAL PURSUIT: This is the last DreamWorks Animation film to be distributed by Paramount. The company has signed a new contract with 20th Century Fox that begins in 2013.

CRITICAL MASS: As of 11/25/12: Rotten Tomatoes: 74% positive reviews. Metacritic: 57/100. The reviews are pretty decent.

COMPARISON SHOPPING: The Incredibles

EASTER LOVERS: .Part of the film takes place during the spring holiday, and we get a nice look at the Easter Bunny’s castle.

FINAL RATING: 6/10

NEXT: Jolene

Mall Santa


 

           His routine was always the same. Up while it was still dark outside, drinking a mug of hot chocolate and eating a single hard-boiled egg, sometimes with toast. He would read the paper, shaking his head and making a clicking sound. Sometimes a story would move him to tears but most of the time he sat with a stony expression on his bearded face.

            He was an old man, fat and tired. He would get a few stares from those who thought his looks to be Santa-esque, and indeed he played Santa Claus at the Haverford Mall outside of town. There he would sit for hours with lines of children eager to see him.

            Mostly though he was ignored as old men often are. He walked with a wooden cane, his joints aching and his movements stiff. He had no friends that anyone knew about – not that anybody cared enough to inquire. His mail came addressed to George Seaton and that was the name he went by.

            He had played the Santa role from time to time over the years but this year was much different. Where it had been joy to sit with children on his knee, now it seemed dreary and tiresome. Always the same requests, always about me, me, me! The toys they asked for had grown increasingly more expensive; some wanted iPads, some wanted computers, others wanted Nintendos and X-Boxes and Playstations – sometimes all three. They wanted the latest and the greatest and having been bombarded with advertisements on televisions for these treasures he supposed he could hardly blame them but he had a sense about such things – for the most part it was naked greed.

            The era had become defined by greed. He had been a department store Santa during the Second World War; he had become disillusioned by the killing and the cruelty then too but this was the Greatest generation and he had discovered a willingness to sacrifice, and a genuine desire for the war to end. More kids wanted their dads and older brothers to come home than wanted toys. It had given him hope and kept him out of the affairs of the day for more than 70 years.

            George Seaton wasn’t his real name of course. It was the name of a man long dead whose movie he had come to admire. His name was much older and much better known; it suited him to take the name of a forgotten film director as a manner of tribute. The man who directed Miracle on 34th Street should not be forgotten.

            He had made the mistake of using his own name back in 1942. It had led to a brouhaha that screenwriter Valentine Davis had heard about from a friend in the New York attorney general’s office; the affair had been kept quiet but had inspired Davis to write the story that would become the film. He’d wound up swearing he wouldn’t do that again.

            Now he felt the same kind of shame as greed had taken the world over. People had become so self-centered and so all about their own needs that they had forgotten that they share the world with others. They had forgotten that they were merely there for a short while, caretakers of a planet that didn’t belong to them but that they were at best temporary residents of. He had seen the signs and decided to do what he had done once before back in 1942 – to determine whether the world was still worthy of him.

            It wasn’t that he thought so highly of himself, but he knew what his gift was to the world; the gift of joy, the gift of hope. However, if his despair continued he would fade into nothingness and the world would be without him permanently. At least this way he could simply lie down and sleep, waiting for the people of the world to grow up – or disappear entirely.

            He had been charged with a terrible burden years ago – to be the embodiment of the Christmas spirit. At least, it wasn’t a burden back then. It had been an honor and his great joy. The smiles and the genuine gratefulness had made it worthwhile. He never for one moment forgot why he was doing what he did, and why it was important that he did it.

            But now it was different. The requests for gifts had become demands and if the children didn’t get what they wanted they went from being disappointed to being downright angry. The parents were little better. They spent the year fobbing off parental responsibilities on teachers, coaches, day care centers and activities and when they did have the kids at home they tended to ignore them, telling their kids to go play or sit them down with a DVD or a videogame while they themselves surfed the web. No wonder the children had changed.

            He hadn’t and he wondered as he trudged to work if perhaps he was no better than a dinosaur, a being who had outlived his usefulness to the world. Perhaps Christmas was dead after all.

            It was Christmas eve and so far he hadn’t found a single child that had given him any hope for the future, only more of the same greed and egotistical self-centeredness that infected the world. As he put on his suit and the bored temp workers who played his elves put on theirs he felt like he was merely going through the motions. He already knew in his heart his quest was futile. He would take his leave this night and Santa Claus would be gone from the world, possibly forever. He wished he could shed a tear over the enormity of that, but he suspected he wouldn’t be missed much.

            He sat down on his wooden chair that was supposed to be his throne – as if he would ever need a throne. Back at home he had only chairs. Still he waited patiently as each child climbed on his knee, whispered in his ear all the toys and games they wanted and a picture was snapped. Some would hug him, usually at their mother’s directions but the hugs were never genuine.

            Some were shy but once they started listing their toys the greed would take over. It was monotonous, different children but listing the same toys over and over again. A new Barbie doll. The latest videogame. Action figures and Transformers and Superheroes and radio-controlled helicopters. It wasn’t even lunchtime and he wanted nothing more than to leave.

            After lunch it grew much worse. The shoppers knew the mall would be closing early as people moved on from shopping for presents to wrapping them and the line was large and the moms frantic. An air of desperation had taken over as people shopped for last minute gifts. There was no sense of joy but of obligation only. He wanted to scream.

            At last the line began to dwindle as the hour grew short. One more child was left, one more list to listen to and he would leave; not returning to the meager apartment where George Seaton lived but back to the ether of oblivion, where he would stay, slumbering until he was required again – which might never happen as far as he could tell. The human race was getting worse, not better and had refused to grow into wisdom and maturity as a species. It was all so very depressing.

            The kid scrambled into his lap, a tow-headed boy with blue eyes which were strangely calm. Many of the eyes that stared back at him were eager, or shy. Not so this one. His helper elf, a pretty young high school girl wearing the too-short elf skirt introduced the boy as Jason Christopher. The boy wore a pair of blue jeans, store-brand sneakers and a red sweater with a snowflake pattern in white.

            The old man had always been able to tell instantly if the kids had been good and he knew at once this one had been better than nearly every kid he had sat with. His chuckle, so fake all season long, was genuine as he asked Jason what he wanted.

            The boy looked at him and said “I don’t know if you can give me what I really want.” The kid looked about ten years old but sounded much older than that. The old man smiled and said “Well why don’t you tell Santa what you really want and I’ll see what I can do.” The kid shook his head gently as if he were talking to a very young child. “I don’t think you can do anything but I’ll tell you anyway.”

            The boy paused as if weighing his words carefully and the man who was Santa Claus suddenly grew nervous himself. The fate of Christmas rode on this one boy and he didn’t even know it, but the man did and he was frightened all of a sudden, terrified that something so wonderful and magic might leave the world forever.

            The boy spoke. “I want peace.” The man in the Santa suit frowned. “You mean an end to the war?” he asked the boy. The boy shook his head impatiently. “An end to all war,” he said with a sad smile. He then continued, the words coming out in a torrent. “I want peace in every heart so that people don’t want more than they need. I want people to think of others before they think of themselves and to stop being so mean to one another. I want us to clean up the world so that we still have a good planet to live on. I want peace.”

            The boy looked down, almost embarrassed. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, “I know that’s too much but I just want everyone to be happy and it seems so few are.” The man was speechless for a moment but at last he spoke. “You’re right, young man, few people are happy nowadays and perhaps they might be if they weren’t so involved with themselves. I wish more people had your wisdom.”

            The boy smiled at him and said “I wish more people were like you, Santa.” and the man realized that the boy didn’t think he was Santa he knew he was and a great joy took his heart. Perhaps there was hope after all. “I can’t give you what you want, Jason. People have to give that to you for themselves but I can tell you that you can lead by example. Carry the spirit of giving in your heart all year round and perhaps you can make a difference. I could use the help.”

            The boy nodded and impulsively through his arms around Santa. The man held him tight and after a few moments the boy hopped off of his lap and disappeared with his mother into the dwindling crowd.

            The intercom crackled. “The mall is closing so that our employees might spend Christmas Eve with their families. All customers please complete your purchases and make your way to the exits. On behalf of the Haverford Mall we’d like to wish you a very Merry Christmas and thank you for shopping at the Haverford Mall.”

            Soon the mall had emptied out and Santa and his elves went back to the changing room to get out of their outfits. He put on his clothes and walked out into the evening. “Hey Santa!” and he turned around to see the young girl who had been his lead elf. She wore a pair of jeans and a nice Christmas sweater and without all the elf make-up looked quite pretty. She walked up to him quickly and gave him a hug. “That last kid was something special wasn’t he?” Santa nodded. “He was one of a kind, Sarah.”

            She smiled at him. “My family always has Christmas eve dinner together. You’re welcome to join us…if you don’t have somewhere else to go.” He beamed at the young girl. “Thank you very much for the offer and I might take you up on that sometime…but I’ll be very busy tonight.”

            Impulsively she gave him a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll bet you are…Santa. I hope I see you again next year.” He smiled and nodded and she walked away, whistling “Away in a Manger.”

            He walked out of the empty parking lot but nobody saw where he went. He had, after all, a lot of work to do.

Miracle on 34th Street (1947)


Miracle on 34th Street
What could be more Christmas-y than a hug by a little girl for Santa Claus?

 

(1947) Family (20th Century Fox) Maureen O’Hara, John Payne, Edmund Gwenn, Gene Lockhart, Natalie Wood, Porter Hall, William Frawley, Jerome Cowan, Phillip Tonge, Jack Albertson, Harry Antrim, Thelma Ritter, Mae Marsh, William Forrest. Directed by George Seaton

 

Here in the United States, it is a sign of growing up when a child sets aside their belief in Santa Claus. Perhaps in several senses it is more of a sign that they are setting aside their imagination as well.

Kris Kringle (Gwenn) is appalled to see the man who is scheduled to play Santa in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade is drunk as a skunk. He reports his outrage to Doris Walker (O’Hara), the event director. She persuades him to accept the role himself and he does such a fine job that he is hired to be the Santa in the chain’s flagship store on 34th street in Manhattan.

Although he is told to direct shoppers to Macy’s merchandise, he tells one (Ritter) that the fire engine her son wants that Macy’s doesn’t carry can be found at Gimbels, Macy’s archrivals. She is so impressed that she tells toy department manager Julian Shellhammer (Tonge) that she will be a Macy’s customer for life.

Doris, a divorcee, leaves her daughter with her neighbor Fred Gailey (Payne), a lawyer. He takes Susan (Wood), six years old and having been brought up in a practical manner by her mother to believe that there is no  Santa Claus, to see Kris Kringle at the store. When Doris discovers this, she urges Kris to tell Susan that he’s not really Santa. Instead, he tells her that he’s the genuine article.

Doris is concerned that he is delusional and might harm someone so she decides to fire Kringle but store owner R.H. Macy (Antrim) is delighted by the positive publicity and goodwill that he has generated for Macy’s and promises both Shellhammer and Doris generous bonuses if he stays. To alleviate Doris’ concerns, he has Kringle undergo an evaluation with company psychologist Granville Sawyer (Hall) which Kringle passes but not without antagonizing Sawyer.

Kris discovers that Sawyer has convinced store employee Alfred that he is mentally ill just because Alfred is kind-hearted and generous, and raps Sawyer on the head with the handle of an umbrella. Sawyer exaggerates his injury and Kringle is confined in the Bellevue Mental Hospital. Tricked into co-operating and believing that Doris is part of the deception, Kringle deliberately fails his mental examination and is recommended for permanent confinement. Fred however urges Kris not to give up and takes on his case as his lawyer, arranging a formal competency hearing in the court of Judge Henry X. Harper (Lockhart) of the New York Supreme Court.

Ordered by Macy to get the matter dropped, Sawyer pleads with Fred to drop the case quietly and not seek publicity. Instead, Fred thanks the horrified Sawyer for the idea and bumps up the hearing into a full-blown trial placing Judge Harper in an awkward position – having to try the existence of Santa Claus.

Along with It’s a Wonderful Life this might be the most beloved Christmas film in history. Gwenn would win an Oscar for Best Supporting Actor, one of two that the movie won (the other was for Best Original Screenplay). That it was released in the summertime is perhaps one of the most boneheaded moves in studio history – the publicity of the film wound up hiding it’s Christmas setting for fear that audiences wouldn’t see a Christmas film in the heat of summer, a fear that proved to be sadly well-founded.

Still, it remains the standard of Christmas movies, both a sly commentary on the commercialization of the holiday (an issue that has sadly only gotten worse in the 70 years since the movie was made) and also on the faith and imagination of children that we tend to lose as adults.

Wood, in one of her first feature film appearances is self-assured and definitely doesn’t have that forced quality that many of the child actors of the time had. You never get a sense she is reading lines so much as inhabiting the role. O’Hara, who initially didn’t want to do the film until she read the script (she had moved back to Ireland) gives one of the defining performances of her career.

The movie definitely is a product of its time, although as such it has more charm than you can imagine. The opening scenes of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade were actually filmed at the 1946 Parade (and yes, Gwenn did play Santa in that parade), which gives you an idea of what it was like back then. That kind of realism was unusual for films of the era.

While It’s a Wonderful Life had a much more heartland frame of mind, Miracle on 34th Street has the East Coast sophistication of its era to distinguish it. Both movies are heartwarming and both perfectly synthesize the spirit of the season and both have the uplifting quality that was present in Frank Capra’s films which It’s a Wonderful Life actually was – Miracle on 34th Street was not but very well could have been.  Those who love Christmas movies in all likelihood do so largely because of this movie. It’s a classic that may be dated at times but never gets old.

WHY RENT THIS: A Christmas classic, a perennial that bears watching again and again. Gwenn’s performance is one of the best Santa depictions ever.

WHY RENT SOMETHING ELSE: Exceedingly dated in places.

FAMILY VALUES:  Perfect viewing for the entire family.

TRIVIAL PURSUIT: The house depicted at the end of the film still exists, and is located at 24 Derby Road, Port Washington, New York. Other than the addition of window near the roofline, it looks nearly exactly the same as it did in 1947. The Macy’s Christmas display shown in the film is on display every Christmas at the Marshall and Ilsley Bank headquarters in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

NOTABLE DVD EXTRAS: There is an AMC television special about the movie, as well as newsreel footage of Gwenn accepting his Best Supporting Actor Oscar in 1948. In addition, the special DVD edition includes both the colorized and original black and white versions of the film, in addition to a one-hour television version from 1955. Do note that the Blu-Ray version does not include the latter two features although the box packaging claims that it has the colorized version – only the original black and white version is present here. Expect a deluxe Blu-Ray version of the film classic somewhere down the road.

BOX OFFICE PERFORMANCE: Not available.

FINAL RATING: 10/10

TOMORROW: Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows

The Santa Clause


The Santa Clause
You’d better not cry…

(1994) Family (Disney) Tim Allen, Judge Reinhold, Wendy Crewson, Eric Lloyd, David Krumholtz, Larry Brandenburg, Mary Gross, Paige Tamada, Peter Boyle, Judith Scott, Jayne Eastwood, Melissa King, Bradley Wentworth, Steve Vinovich. Directed by John Pasquin

 

Belief is a powerful thing. There are those among us who must have the evidence of the senses to believe in something – seeing is believing, after all. It also must be said that one of the most lovely thing about children is their ability to believe whole-heartedly in something without evidence – their innocence augments their faith.

Scott Calvin (Allen) is an executive at a toy company. He is divorced and a bit estranged from his son Charlie (Lloyd). His ex-wife Laura (Crewson) has since re-married to a psychiatrist named Dr. Neil Miler (Reinhold) who is a pretty decent fellow.

Charlie is staying over at Scott’s house for Christmas Eve, with the intention of sending him back to his mom’s for the big day itself. Charlie is beginning to have doubts about the existence of Santa Clause whom Scott tries to re-assure him is real but Scott really doesn’t believe himself so the attempt falls flat. Later that night, they are awakened by a commotion on the roof. When they go out to investigate, Scott startles a man dressed in red on his roof, who then falls to the ground and apparently breaks his neck. The man disappears mysteriously, but when Scott investigates he finds a business card in the pocket of the suit which says that someone needs to put on the suit and that the reindeer would then know what to do.

In order to please Charlie, Scott puts on the suit and ascends to the roof where to his astonishment find eight reindeer and a sleigh. The two of them get into the sleigh and start delivering toys from house to house, with Scott making a rather poor Santa although he is able to magically fit down chimneys or for homes without fireplaces, dryer vents and radiator vents.

The last stop is the North Pole where Scott is greeted by a rather officious elf named Bernard (Krumholtz) who informs Scott that by donning the suit he has activated the Santa Clause which requires him to become Santa. He has until Thanksgiving of the following year to wrap up his affairs, after which he’ll become Santa full time. Charlie is given a snow globe as a gift. The two go to sleep in the North Pole but wake up back at Scott’s house. Scott assumes it was just a crazy dream.

Strange things begin to happen to Scott. He begins to develop an insatiable desire for cookies and hot chocolate and begins to put on an embarrassing amount of weight. He starts growing a long beard which no matter how he tries to shave it off re-appears instantly. His hair turns white. He has an uncanny knack of knowing who is naughty and nice. Kids, unconsciously knowing he’s Santa begin giving him lists of gifts they want.

Neil and Laura, seeing the extent of Scott’s Santa obsession and of Charlie’s increasing insistence that his father is the Santa Claus, become concerned with Charlie’s well-being and seek to terminate Scott’s visitation rights. The petition turns out to be successful and Scott, now determined to be a better father, is devastated.

The events create doubt in Scott that he is the true Santa Clause but while visiting Charlie on Thanksgiving, Charlie’s pleas and faith reawaken the magic and Bernard with Charlie’s help whisk Scott away to the North Pole. Charlie, wanting to be with his father, goes along. Laura and Neil are certain that Charlie has been kidnapped against his will and a police investigation is launched, led by Detective Nunzio (Brandenburg). When Scott tries to deliver presents to Neil’s house on Christmas Eve, Scott is arrested. Can Christmas be saved?

At the time this film was made, Allen was best known for his “Home Improvement” hit series which was then in its third year. The movie increased his star power and led to his casting as Buzz Lightyear shortly thereafter. Two additional Santa Clause movies were also made in the succeeding years.

The movie is inventive and charming and a bit sticky sweet in places. It harkens back to the heyday of Disney live action family movies such as The Computer Who Wore Tennis Shoes, Darby O’Gill and the Little People and The Three Lives of Tomasina. The blend of magic and physics makes this entertaining for adults as well as kids and the movie never forgets that while its target audience is children that their parents are going to have to be entertained as well.

Allen is at his best here and would have a solid career in family films for the Mouse House following this. He brings the right mix of cynicism and warm-heartedness to the role and the transformation of Scott as a career-oriented man to a devoted father is believable. The chemistry between him and Lloyd as his son Charlie seems genuine.

While the North Pole operation isn’t as impressive as shown in later films like The Polar Express and Fred Claus it was nifty at the time it was released and still is grand enough to get oohs and aahs from the younger set.

There are no villains in this movie – Neil and Laura act out of genuine concern for Charlie and that’s kind of refreshing. Some Scrooge-like critics grumbled about the custody issues bogging down the plot but quite frankly I disagree. The movie is about the difficulties created by Scott becoming Santa and in that sense the reaction of other adults to Scott’s transformation seems logical and believable to me. Even though there is a certain magic in the North Pole scenes, Scott’s coping with his physical transformation are for me the best scenes in the movie.

This is certainly not the best Christmas movie ever made but it has become a minor holiday classic. It is clever, good fun and essentially harmless. It could have used a little more edge and Santa breaking his neck early on might scar the more sensitive kids for life but other than that this is charming holiday viewing and definitely a movie I don’t mind seeing again and again.

WHY RENT THIS: Clever and heartwarming in places, a worthy addition to Disney’s live action family film tradition. Allen proves he has big screen star power here.

WHY RENT SOMETHING ELSE: A little sticky-sweet in places. Somewhat dated at times.

FAMILY VALUES:  There are a few moments of crude humor but not so crude that you wouldn’t want your kids to watch.

TRIVIAL PURSUIT: The script was originally written with Bill Murray in mind, but he passed. Fellow SNL alumni Chevy Chase was also offered the part but had to decline due to scheduling conflicts. Disney had a strict policy of not hiring ex-cons, but an exception was made in his case for the “Home Improvement” television show which was produced by Disney’s Touchstone arm and Allen went on to make movies not only in the Santa Clause franchise but several other family films as well the Toy Story series.

NOTABLE DVD EXTRAS: The special edition DVD includes a feature hosted by Wolfgang Puck as he shows you how to make some of Santa’s favorite snacks, and there’s is also an interactive game called “Santa’s Helper.”

BOX OFFICE PERFORMANCE: $189.8M on a $22M production budget; the movie was a franchise-establishing blockbuster.

FINAL RATING: 7.5/10

TOMORROW: The Holly and the Quill concludes!

Arthur Christmas


Arthur Christmas
Who knew that Santa Claus was actually a South American dictator?

(2011) Animated Feature (Columbia) Starring the voices of James McAvoy, Hugh Laurie, Jim Broadbent, Bill Nighy, Imelda Staunton, Ashley Jensen, Laura Linney, Eva Longoria, Michael Palin, Robby Coltane, Joan Cusack, Jane Horrocks, Andy Serkis, Marc Wootton, Dominic West. Directed by Sarah Smith and Barry Cook

 

One of the most common questions children have about the legend of Santa Claus is how does he deliver so many presents in a single night (I don’t remember that being much of an issue when I was growing up – we just took it for granted that he did it and moved on). These days with the world population increasing and the demand for presents soaring it has become quite an operation indeed.

In fact, Santa (Broadbent) is more of a figurehead these days. The North Pole is a subterranean base that doesn’t appear on Google Earth. His gift-delivering operation is run with military precision by his eldest son Steve (Laurie) who fully expects that dear old dad will be passing along the job to him at the successful conclusion of Christmas this year.

In fact, the job has been in the same family for many generations. Grandsanta (Nighy) delivered the presents in the old sleigh with the reindeer but Steve has modernized, utilizing an incredible jet the size of a fleet of battleships using advanced stealth technology to stay off of the radar. As befuddled as Santa is, Grandsanta is as curmudgeonly, having felt left behind.

Arthur (McAvoy) is Santa’s younger son, a gentle soul who is a bit of a screw up. He has been given the relatively harmless position of handling the Letter Response Division. He tends to have more of the Christmas spirit in his heart which Steve looks at as a liability. Actually going out into the field and delivering presents terrifies Arthur.

When it’s discovered that one child’s present remained undelivered the reaction of Steve and Santa is a colossal “Ho-hum” which is a mighty change from “Ho ho ho!” One child left behind is considered acceptable collateral damage. However, Arthur doesn’t see it that way. To him, if one child isn’t considered special, than nobody can be. Despite his trepidations, he decides to see to the delivery himself and Grandsanta decides to come along for the ride, bringing the old sleigh out of mothballs. Grandsanta’s motivation is more to show up his progeny, however.

This is the first feature to be released from Aardman Animation since Flushed Away back in 2006 (they also have the feature Pirates! Band of Misfits slated for release in early 2012) and quite frankly, this isn’t up to the standards of the folks that brought us Wallace and Gromit. There’s plenty of imagination all right and some clever, sly humor that the studio is known for but not enough of the latter to really stand out like their other films did.

The squabbling Santas are a prime example. I get the feeling that the filmmakers were lampooning the commercialization of Christmas, but making the two elder Claus statesmen out to be doddering old fools or scheming old fools kind of violates their own mythology to a certain extent. The whole portrayal makes me wonder if the Santa Claus family isn’t a little bit guilty of inbreeding.

The vocal performances are dead on; Laurie, best known for his stint on ”House” plays Steve as a supercilious British Army officer, very regimented and expecting life to run like clockwork like it does in the Army when he was in Indja don’t you know. Nighy alternates between reminiscing about the good old days and bitching about the modern days like many grandsires do.

McAvoy is a bit bland as Arthur but then again Arthur isn’t really drawn all that well as a character. He is a bit of a bumbler and is good-hearted but has little to no self-confidence. His most identifiable characteristic is his nearly obsessive love for all things Christmas. We get that he has a good heart and he is a bit of a klutz but little more beyond that. Perhaps the writers didn’t think the kids in the audience care much about that.

The North Pole base and Santa’s S-1 jet are both marvelously done, as well as the armies of elves who make things happen. The backgrounds and artwork are amazing, and keeping with Aardman tradition have a bit of the Claymation look to them (Aardman’s earliest shorts and films were done with stop-motion Claymation). One thing about Aardman; you can always instantly tell their films apart from other studios.

I may be sounding a bit harsh on the movie, but this is a studio I hold to higher standards than most. In all honesty this is a pretty decent Christmas movie, but I had hoped for something that would be more of a perennial from a studio with as much imagination as this one has had over the years. It should do well enough to keep the kids entertained and it won’t have the adults squirming in their seats, but the wit is lacking and the sense of wonder fleeting. Not quite a lump of coal but not the present I was looking for.

REASONS TO GO: Has much of the wonderfully quirky Aardman sense of humor. Some of the North Pole and Santa’s spaceship scenes are spectacular.

REASONS TO STAY: A bit whiny in spots.

FAMILY VALUES: This got a PG rating for “mild rude humor” but in all actuality this is perfectly suitable for all members of the family.

TRIVIAL PURSUIT: Writer Peter Baynham’s last film was Arthur making this the second consecutive film he’s written that contains the word “Arthur” in the title.

HOME OR THEATER: Definitely a theatrical experience.

FINAL RATING; 6/10

TOMORROW: The Holly and the Quill continues!

Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale


Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale
You’d better watch out…

(2010) Horror Comedy (Oscilloscope Laboratories) Onni Tommila, Jorma Tommila, Tommi Korpela, Per Christian Ellefsen, Jonathan Hutchings, Peeter Jakobi, Ilmari Jarvenpaa, Rauno Juvonen, Risto Salvi, Jens Sivertsen. Directed by Jalmari Helander

 

Good old Saint Nick! Everyone knows the jolly old elf makes his big appearance every 25th of December, spreading joy around the world and delivering toys to kids who appear on the nice list and coal to those on the naughty list. There are places, however, who don’t have as high an opinion of Santa – they’re downright terrified of him.

In Northern Finland, a team of American scientists are blasting into a large hill in a remote part of the country above the Arctic Circle. The residents of the town nearby have no clue what the Americans are up to – and they could care less. It is the day before Christmas and their concerns are larger; it is time to harvest the reindeer that provides not only their livelihood but their store of food for the winter.

The trouble is that the reindeer are all dead; massacred by something, their carcasses littering the ground outside the fence surrounding the American blast zone. Rauno (Jorma Tommila), a taciturn widower, thinks it might be wolves which are a pest in that part of Finland – he even has dug a wolf trap (which are illegal in Finland). His son Pietari (Onni Tommila) isn’t so sure.

You see, Pietari and his buddy Juuso (Jarvenpaa) made a hole in the fence and snuck in to the blast site and heard a few things they shouldn’t have – as in that the hill that is outside their town is in fact a gigantic burial mound and that the Americans have found something there that was supposed to stay buried…and what they found is very much alive.

The bookish Pietari does some research and discovers that the Santa Clause we all know and love was not always regarded that way in Lapland. In fact, he was used as a kind of boogeyman, kidnapping naughty children and leaving straw dolls in their place. The naughty kids he would boil alive and otherwise torture and kill in inventive ways. Pietari realizes that this demonic child stealer is exactly what the Americans found, but he’s the only one who knows it.

Pietari’s dad doesn’t have time for foolishness. He and some of the town’s men go to confront the Americans but the installation is eerily deserted. And his wolf trap has captured something unexpected. Santa Claus is coming to town boys and girls and you’d better pray you aren’t on his naughty list.

There is a lot going for this film. The northern setting is starkly beautiful and the hardscrabble life of the villagers quite realistic. There is enough comedy here to keep you off-balance – as when Rauno growls at his son to stay back from the wolf trap but as he turns his back, Pietari continues to move forward, almost without thinking in the way that children do when their curiosity outweighs everything else, including sense. It’s not rebellion, it’s just compulsion.

There isn’t a lot of gore here so those who might consider that a horror necessity will be disappointed. Da Queen, who is normally quite squeamish about horror movies found this one palatable and non-nightmare inducing although there are some scenes that might give the sensitive pause.

On the negative side, while the actor who plays Pietari is good, this is another case of a kid who has to save the day from adults who won’t listen to his sage advice. I don’t know about you, but I would consider any advice from a kid wearing cardboard armor and who drags a bedraggled stuffed animal around with him a bit suspect.

Still, the ending was nifty, unexpected and left room for a potential sequel only not in an obvious way. I appreciated the filmmaker’s imagination as well as their willingness to take chances. Not all of them work but most do and make for a very entertaining holiday horror film which is a much better alternative to things like Black Christmas, Santa’s Slay and Silent Night, Deadly Night.

WHY RENT THIS: A wry sense of humor and an inventive take on the Santa legend.

WHY RENT SOMETHING ELSE: Suffers from the “smart kid saves the day from bumbling adults” syndrome.

FAMILY VALUES: There is a bit of nudity and a bit more foul language.

TRIVIAL PURSUIT: The actors who play Pietari and his father are father and son in real life.

NOTABLE DVD EXTRAS: There is a featurette comparing the original animatics with the finished computer-generated effects as well as a look at the pre-production art which is pretty nifty. There are a couple of short films that Helander directed that takes place in the Rare Exports universe and includes much of the same cast; they should be seen after you’ve watched the main movie. The Blu-Ray also includes the complete feature Santa Claus vs. the Martians which is quite frankly one of the worst movies ever made and whose inclusion here is rather bizarre. Watch it if you dare.

BOX OFFICE PERFORMANCE: $4M on an unreported production budget; there’s a good chance this made money during its theatrical run.

FINAL RATING: 6.5/10

TOMORROW: The Holly and the Quill continues!

The Holly & The Quill


            Winter was always a tough time in the Northlands. The land was blanketed with snow; all was peaceful, serene and white. For the Northlanders, however, winter was a time of quiet desperation, particularly if the fall harvest was poor. The Northlanders were a simple folk, working the lands and trying to keep their families fed. The Northland was ruled by a cruel man, the Duke. He had wealth and power, something the Northlanders neither had nor desired. He had an army that did his bidding, and his bidding was often vicious. For the right to live in the Northland (something most of the families of the Northland had done much longer than the Duke’s family had), each Northland family was required to produce two wagonloads of bounty, whether it be the grains that made bread or the vegetables and fruits of the orchard. Regardless of how the harvest came out, two wagonloads were the requirement. Whatever was left would be all that the Northlanders had to sustain them through the harsh winter.

            In bad years, many would starve and others would leave. The Duke didn’t mind. He would seize the lands of those who died or fled and give it as favors to those who pleased him…or to those he owed debts to, and that list was many for the Duke was a man of lavish tastes. Soon, the Duke found his need for land exceeded the rate of available land. He determined that he must find a way to encourage more to leave…or die.

            He would have preferred to just seize the land directly and order the Northlanders away, but he could not do that without just cause; that would also attract the attention of the King who might take a dim view of his actions and that could jeopardize his place at court. No, the Duke crafted a simple and elegant solution; he outlawed hunting.

            He cloaked himself in self-righteous piety and claimed that the animals of his domain must be protected because they were being hunted to extinction. In point of fact, the Northlanders only hunted to supplement their diets. They were a peaceful and gentle folk who loved the Northland, as harsh a place as it could be. There was no orgy of killing the way the Duke did when he went hunting. A single animal would be brought down and its meat would be cured and stored, its skin used as clothing and blankets to help keep the Northlanders warm during the cruel winter.

            Not that the Duke followed his own edict. He and his cronies would go into his woods and shoot everything that moved merely for the sport of killing. The carcasses would sit where they lay, drawing flies and scavengers, eventually being stripped to the bone and left there. The people of the Northlands called the Duke’s woods The Bone Forest. They were forbidden entry there upon pain of death; sometimes starving Northlanders would huddle in their homes, less than an hour’s walk from meat that could save their lives but too frightened to make that walk. Some would; some were bold that way, but there were always watchers, informers who would do anything to get in the Duke’s good graces. Those that went into the woods and brought back meat were always reported, always punished. The Northlands soon became a place of great sadness, a feeling of helplessness and despair ruled the land alongside the Duke.

            This was the place where he lived, one of the more prosperous farms in the Northlands. His father and his father before him had tended the land well, and drew great bounty from it. They were good men who shared their prosperity with their neighbors who were less fortunate; many families who were starving were rescued by his family and he admired his father for it. Some resented their prosperity, but most knew that theirs was a kindly family and blessed them.

            He was a strapping young man, well over six feet tall and powerful from working hard on the land. He was efficient in his work and the land prospered from his care; his proud father often said he had a magic touch when it came to the land. The truth was he felt a kinship with the land, a bond that was deep and powerful. In his spare time, he would roam the countryside into the wild places that were not farmed. Although there were bears and wolves in these places, he never felt threatened or afraid. He grew to know the animals that dwelled there; the reindeer, the birds and the wild pigs.

            He was a handsome man, and well loved by the women of the Northlands and the truth was he was a very desirable catch. Handsome and strong but also the heir to one of the most prosperous farms in the Northlands, he was pursued by many a fair maiden and certainly by their fathers who desired the advantageous match a marriage to him would bring. Even a few married women displayed their charms for him, well-aware an affair with him might bring more to their lives than the pleasures of the bed.

            For his part, his heart was yet unclaimed. He was an easygoing sort but he preferred solitude to the company of women or the company of men for that matter. He was at his happiest when he was alone in the mountains that ringed the Northlands. Sometimes he would be gone for days; his father often would worry himself sick over his son’s behavior but soon grew to accept it as part of his mercurial son’s nature. While his father would have preferred that his son find a match advantageous to the family and help keep their place strong in the community, he was a good man who wanted his son to be happy and so he pushed no unwanted romance on his son.

            He was well past marriageable age and there were some whispers that he did not intend to marry at all, which certainly wasn’t true. He wasn’t against marriage nor was he uninterested in the fairer sex. Many were the maidens that he favored; it was just that he hadn’t found one that made his heart soar.

            He knew deep down that he wouldn’t find one in his village or the neighboring ones and he certainly wouldn’t find the right one in the woods and the mountains, but he could not yet bring himself to end his ranging. For now, these were places that brought him happiness and peace, and he couldn’t bear to give that up just yet.

            As winter approached every year, the Northlanders always celebrated with the harvest festival. The harvest was done, the taxes paid and the remainder had been stored for the coming winter. The harvest festival was well underway and the Northlanders celebrated with games and feasting. The Duke had even supplied several chickens and some eggs for the Northlanders to feast upon. The Duke’s “generosity” was toasted in the same spirit the gifts were given.

            He normally loved the harvest festival with the dancing, the laughter and merriment that was part of it, but he felt more restless than usual. He had grabbed his cloak, a coil of rope, his bow and quiver (guns were forbidden to the Northlanders) and set out for the mountains. He walked at a fast pace, his strides long and determined. He didn’t know why he felt this urgency, but trusted his instincts enough to follow them. He rose in the mountains that separated the Northlands from the icy wilderness that they called the Winterlands, where the snow never melted even in the heat of summer. Northlanders never went there; those that did never returned. He had seen them from afar once, glittering and cold in the height of summer, no life visible from his perch high in the mountains.

            Through the mountain range he walked. He would drink from streams that flowed in the mountains; he would eat fruit from trees and bushes that grew there. At night, he would take shelter in caves or beneath trees, lighting a fire to keep predators away. Although it was already cold and he knew how dangerous it was to be caught in the mountains in winter, something was drawing him further away.

            Like many of his age, he hated the oppression and corruption of the Duke. He had a compassionate heart and knew that what the Duke was doing to his people was wrong. As one who understood the importance of caretaking his land, he knew that the Duke had an equal responsibility to care for his people, a responsibility the Duke wasn’t fulfilling. He didn’t hate the Duke per se; it was more as if he were disappointed in him. He did nothing, however, because to openly oppose the Duke would bring ruin down on his family.

            And so he ranged, further and further away until the trees began to thin out and at last, there were none. The frozen wastes of the Winterlands were closer than they had ever been; he could feel their icy breath on him. To go there would be death, and yet he was drawn as if unseen hands were pushing him in that direction.

            At last he descended from the last mountain and into the Winterlands, and still he walked. His cloak was warm and sturdy but it was unable to keep all the cold out; soon his hair and beard were frozen with the icicles of his sweat. He would take snow and pack it into his mouth, using the water that melted to sustain him. Days went by and he neither stopped nor rested, stumbling through the Winterlands like a man possessed. He never questioned what drew him, what inflamed him to undertake such madness, he just followed his instincts.

            As his strength began to fail, he started to wonder if he was going to die alone in the Winterlands. Part of him wanted to flee, to turn back but he knew he had passed the point of safe return, even if he could navigate back to the mountains which he had left far behind him. Still, there was a peace inside him, a calm that he couldn’t explain, as if all were right in the world. For someone who was as near death as he was, that was an inexplicable feeling.

            He knew if he lay down, if he stopped he would die. His only chance of survival was to continue walking until he found food and shelter. But where would he find it in this icy wilderness? There were no inns, no people, no anything; just ice, snow and rocks.

            Just when he began to despair and wonder if he should just lie down and die, he saw it; a light in the distance. His heart soared; light meant people, shelter, and warmth. If he could make it to the source of the light, he would be saved. With renewed vigor, he marched and soon beheld an amazing sight.

            It was a city, larger than any village he had ever seen, and here in the middle of the Winterlands. There were huge buildings of brick and wood, and windows aglow with light. No wall surrounded it. No guards patrolled it. There were people milling about, going about their business but it was strangely quiet.

            He entered the city, hoping he could find an inn or someplace he could get shelter. As he walked down the street, he saw two children walking towards him. When they noticed his presence, they stopped. In a weak voice he called out, “I mean you no harm children! I only seek shelter, warmth and food. Can you direct me to a place where I might find it?”

            The two whispered to each other, their gestures animated. After a few moments one said in a strangely deep voice “Follow us, stranger. We will take you to someone who can help.” His voice was musical in a way that he couldn’t describe, but he felt great joy at hearing it. It also had a strange accent that he couldn’t quite place. As he followed the heavily cloaked children, he noticed that they walked in a way that was most un-childlike.            

            As it was nearly dark, there were few on the streets but they were all children, which he found strange. He could hear voices of others, all speaking a language he didn’t know yet sounded oddly familiar; he also heard the sounds of sorrow. In fact, he could almost feel that sorrow, palpable and overwhelming. Even if he was overjoyed at his rescue, he was still affected by the sadness that seemed to permeate the very stones of this place.

            In his weakened state he had trouble keeping up with his guides but at last they reached the center of the city and a gigantic building, the largest he had ever seen. The façade was impressive with great wooden doors fifty feet high, and glass windows which to that point he had only seen in the Duke’s residence. Even the meanest building in this city had glass; it must be very prosperous here indeed. He wondered if he could negotiate with them to share some of that prosperity with his village who were in dire need of help for the harvest had been unusually poor this year.

            The doors to the building were so huge he wondered how they could be opened at all but the children just pushed on the door and it swung open slowly. The two children walked inside and he hurried to follow them. The door closed behind them of its own accord.

            Inside they were in a room where there were thousands of pegs. On several of them hung cloaks of the type the children wore. The pegs were all of a height that children would find comfortable but adults would not. The children hung up their cloaks on two vacant pegs and his eyes widened with a start.

            For one thing, these were not children but adults, both bearded, both the size of small children. Their ears came to a strange point rather than being rounded and their eyes were golden, their lips cherry red and their hair the color of strawberries. One of them gestured to follow and he did, grateful that for the first time in days he was warm.

            The warmth was different, too; it enveloped him. After being so long in the cold, often warmth would be painful as the body slowly thawed, but it was as if his body had been blanketed and the cold seeped out as if drawn like water from a sponge. Although he was still hungry, he felt safe and warm. It was a good feeling, one that he would like to keep.

            They passed through a door and once again he was brought up short. It was a workshop, but like none he had ever seen; it was gigantic, going on as far as the eye could see. This one room was many times the size of his entire village. Why, the Duke’s mansion would fit comfortably in a single corner.            

            But the workshop was nearly deserted, the tabletops covered with unassembled items. There were a few of these strange people walking about, but they seemed aimless, without purpose. Certainly there was no work going on in the workshop.

            At the sight of him, however, they would all stop and stare and he kind of understood that; after all, if one of their kind arrived in his village, all the Northlanders would stop and stare as well. One of his guides shouted “Get Salidia!” One of those who had been staring quickly scurried off, disappearing quickly in the maze of tables and benches.

            They led him to a room off to the side of the workshop. There was a large fireplace, a desk and several chairs. The room was luxurious and welcoming, homey in a way that was like no home he had ever seen. He felt as if he belonged there, strangely enough even though he had never laid eyes upon it before. It was unsettling and exciting and yet strangely made him feel content at the same time. “Wait here, she will come,” said one of the guides. “Thank you,” he said, “You have saved my life.” The two exchanged puzzled looks and then did a strange thing. They bowed deeply, as if he were a person of great importance, and exited the room bowing. He was confused by that.

            Some minutes later the door opened and once again his jaw dropped but this time for a different reason. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen walked into the room. Her hair was blonde, spun like shining soft strands of platinum on her head. Her eyes were the deepest blue, and kindly. Her smile was radiant and made his heart beat like a drum. She wore a red dress, trimmed with ermine and her boots were black. His tongue felt thick and awkward in her presence.

            “They told me you had come. You walked all the way from the Northlands?” He nodded, unable to speak. “You must be near to starving. Come, let us feed you, and then you may rest. You must also be weary to the bone.” He nodded again, and felt tears of gratitude streaming from his eyes. He managed to stammer out a thank you, rising at her gesture to follow. She gave him her arm and he took it, grateful to touch such a perfect creature.

            She led him into a dining room, where a great meal was set before him. He ate and drank to his fill, the food the most wonderful he had ever eaten, the wine the best vintage he had ever drunk. When he was full, she led him back to the room with the pegs, where he put on his cloak. She had put on a matching red cloak of her own with an ermine-trimmed hood. She said “We will supply you with a better cloak, but for now we have prepared a room for you near the Workshop. It is but a short walk.”

            Now that he was fed and felt more like himself, the sorrow he had noticed earlier came back in full force. He asked her about it. She smiled and he saw at once the sadness in her. “My father is dying,” she said. “You will meet him soon; I’m sure he is anxious to. For now, just rest. You will see him on the morrow.”

            “Does he rule here?” he asked. She nodded. “He does not command; he leads. He is nothing like your Duke.” He nodded. The Duke could not possibly have created a daughter so kind, so beautiful. No, someone like her could only have come from a good man, a saintly man in fact.

            She was true to her word; the walk was a short one. They came to a house, one that was taller than the others but not large. Inside it was comfortable and warm. A fire roared in the fireplace, and in the back was a bed larger and more comfortable than any he had ever seen. Goose-down pillows and soft comforters made it inviting. He realized how weary he was and in fact was barely keeping his eyes open. She smiled at him. “Your clothes will be seen to. I will come fetch you in the morning; breakfast will be left here for you, but for now sleep. You are safe here. I bid you farewell, until the morning.” She smiled at him and left him alone in the house. He was sad to see her leave, but his whole body cried out for sleep. He stripped his clothes off and put on a nightshirt that was left for him; it fit well and was soft and comfortable but he barely noticed. Almost as soon as his head hit the pillow he slept.

            The next day he awoke to find a magnificent breakfast of porridge, muffins with honey, sausages, bacon and cakes waiting for him. He ate lustily – he had always had an appetite, and found his clothes gone. In a closet, however he saw that there were clothes waiting for him; a red velvet tunic, soft and warm; red breeches, a great black belt and black boots. There were also smallclothes, silken and comfortable.

            She arrived soon afterwards. “I trust you slept well,” she said, her smile dazzling him even greater than before. He nodded and bowed. “Thank you for your kindness, my lady. I am indebted to you and the citizens of your city forever.” She laughed then, a merry, musical sound. “So polite you are, young man. You must call me Salidia, but do not tell me your name just yet. It is a custom among us that you must give your name to my father before any might speak it. I would appreciate very much if you would respect that custom.” He nodded and bowed again. “Of course I will, Lady Salidia. I am at your service. Shall we go meet your father?”

            He put on a red hooded cloak similar to the one that she had worn the evening before. This time, when they went out, he didn’t feel the cold at all. He supposed that those who lived in such a place must learn to weave clothes that resisted the cold better than those who lived in the Northlands were able to weave.

            She led him back to the workshop and this time once inside didn’t stop at the peg room but led him all the way to the back. They passed many many rooms, so many he lost count. At last they came to a set of massive wooden doors, made of sturdy oak. There were carvings on them of reindeer. She indicated he should wait there and knocked softly. A voice weathered by age said “Come in.”

            Inside the room was a large desk, with a gigantic chair behind it. There was also a bed, one as large and ornately carved as any he had ever seen, even more luxuriously appointed than the one he had slept in the night before. In it was an old man, his hair white as snow, his beard long, nearly to his waist. His skin was sallow and his breathing labored but his eyes were the same blue as Salidia’s and kindly as well. “They told me you had come,” he said in a voice that had once been strong but was weakened by illness and age. “I have been waiting for a longer time than you can imagine.”

            The old man indicated that he should sit down and so he did. “It is a pleasure to meet you sir. I wanted to thank you for the hospitality your fair city has shown me. I was quite literally at death’s door when I found you.” The old man smiled. “Believe me young man, you are most welcome. I am told you walked here from the Northlands?”

            He nodded and the old man smiled. “I made that same walk, many years ago. I came from a village called Elkhorn. Do you know it?” The younger man shook his head. “I am from Dukeswood, near the Craghorn.” The old man smiled. “The Craghorn I know well but I know not this Dukeswood. I guess that it is near the Duke’s castle?” The younger man nodded and the old man smiled. “Names change my son, but much else remains the same. I will not ask you for your name just yet. I have much to tell you, but I will give you my own name, one I have not used in many a year. I am Nicholas. However, around here I am often referred to as Father. You may use either if you wish.”

            The young man nodded. “This is an amazing city, Nicholas. I have never seen its like. It seems to be a place of great bounty and yet it sits here in the midst of the Winterlands, with no land to till, no beast to hunt. How do you survive?” Nicholas chuckled. “That is a very good question my son. I will answer it in time but first I must sit at my desk. Salidia, if you please?”

            She helped the old man rise from the bed and wrapped him in a robe of red velvet and ermine. She led him to the desk where he sat down behind it. On the desk was a gigantic scroll on which many names had been penned. Next to the scroll was an elaborate quill, like none he had ever seen. The feather was shiny and seemed to shimmer and change colors. The old man noticed him looking at it and said “Ah, I see you have spied my quill. That is the feather of a phoenix, a bird that exists no longer. It has many rare qualities that I hope one day you will discover.”

            He cleared his throat. “Salidia, would you fetch us some hot chocolate? I have much to discuss with this young man and I fear my throat will grow dry long before I finish.” She smiled and exited. The old man smiled and regarded the younger man with kindly eyes. “This is a very special city, my son. Only those with giving hearts may find it, and only those with noble spirits may enter it. We have a unique function here, one which is important, perhaps most important in the whole world. Did you wonder what my great Workshop manufactures?” The young man nodded. “Toys. We make toys here. Toys of every shape and size, toys to bring joy to the hearts of every child. Tell me, do you remember the joy of Christmas morning?”

            The young man nodded. “Yes, sir. We would go to church and celebrate, and then we would return home and there would be presents. We would exchange gifts we had made during the year for one another. My parents always claimed that the toys were the work of elves who left them in the night, but I always suspected that my father made them secretly as we slept.”

            The old man chuckled, his entire body shaking. His laughter was the most wonderful sound he had ever heard, filling him with joy and warmth and a feeling that all was right with the world. “Yes, my son, you are not far from the mark on that. Unfortunately, many have forgotten the meaning of Christmas, living as they do under the yokes of those like the Duke whose greed and lust for power have hardened their hearts against the true meaning of Christmas and the lesson it teaches us. Much of that is because I have grown old, unable to combat the onset of corruption and greed that have addled the world. It is time for a younger man to succeed me.”

            The young man asked “Do you have a son who will take your place?” The old man smiled sadly. “Our city doesn’t work that way young man. My sons go out into the world, spreading peace and love as best they can. Their sacrifice helps keep our mission to bring the world closer to what the world is supposed to be. It is also the nature of the world to want that message to be suppressed and those who bring it to be brought down. My sons are all dead. I have but one daughter left, Salidia.” As if on cue, she walked into the room with big mugs full of steaming hot chocolate. The two men sat drinking for a few moments. It was the best thing he had ever had, filling his body with warmth and good feeling. Salidia sat with them, drinking as well. He felt her presence and yearned to touch her, but would not dishonor her in front of her father, who seemed so kindly and gentle as well.

            Nicholas went on, “Although at times it seems as if we fight a losing battle, we have powerful forces at work for us as well. You might even say magical forces. I see in your eyes that you are a practical man, my son. You are a farmer?” The young man nodded. “You love the land very much, the Northlands. I understand that love. I love this city in much the same way. I hope that you will love it that way as well.”

            The young man smiled. “Tis an amazing place, Sir Nicholas. I have never seen the like. I feel so peaceful here, I cannot explain it.” Nicholas chuckled again, smiling broadly. “Ah yes, I understand very well. This city has a profound effect on people. It is a place where hope and love are allowed to flourish. We deliver toys, yes, but we also deliver much more; a feeling that there is something better in life, that if we live our lives to the best we can be, everywhere can be the same as this city. We are the example to live by. It is an immense responsibility, but one I have gladly borne. Does that sound like something important to you?”

            The young man nodded. “I think it is important that one live in the world with kindness and regard for others. It is the responsibility of those who have to share with others, and those who have not to be kindly and caring. Money is unimportant; it corrupts and it leads men to cruelty and barbarism. Those who seek money find only coldness and emptiness. Those who seek to give find warmth and contentment.”

            The old man smiled broadly, nodding. “Yes, that’s it exactly. You understand what my city is all about. It is that understanding that we desperately need now.” He took a sip of hot chocolate, wiping the excess from his beard. “I have to ask something of you young man. I want you to hear what I have to say before accepting. It can bring you great joy but it is a mighty burden and there is great sacrifice that is required. Your life will change forever should you choose to accept, but it is your choice. You may say no if you wish to and should you do so, you will be returned to the Northlands safe and sound. Will you do me the kindness of listening to what I have to say?”

            The young man nodded. “It is the least I can do, sir. Please, speak.” The old man nodded. “What I am about to tell you is at times difficult to believe because, as I said, there are forces here that are not easily explainable. You have seen the Workshop and you have seen the elves. Do you know who I am, boy?” The young man nodded. “Of course. You are Father Christmas. You are Santa Claus.”

            The old man sighed. “It is a good thing that you recognize me. It makes what I have to say much easier. Yes, I am Santa Claus. I am he who delivers the toys to all the children of the globe on Christmas Eve. I am also dying.”

            The young man frowned. “How can that be? The legends say that you are immortal.” Santa chuckled again. “The position is immortal my son, but I am not. Tis true, I live much longer than most because of what I do but even I must die for that is the will of the Creator; only He lives forever, and that is as it should be. No, it is necessary for me to die and so I shall, soon. The world needs a Santa Claus however, and only someone who is giving and true can fill the position. Only one who has the courage to walk into the wilderness and brave certain death can find this city. Only one such as yourself. What I ask, dear boy, is that you take my place.”

            The young man was thunderstruck. “I…don’t know what to say. It is quite an honor…” The old man held up his hand. “Don’t answer just yet. You must know what all that entails. You will lead this city and while the elves are very much able to handle the toy making without much supervision from me…or you, should you choose to accept my offer, there is much responsibility that you undertake. You are tasked with determining which children are naughty and which children are nice. It is a list that requires you to see into the very souls of the innocent and from time to time, see things that are awful and saddening. Most children, you see, have some goodness in them, even if circumstances cause them to act in ways that are naughty and mean. A very few, however, were born without conscience or care, and have no love in them save for themselves. Some of these may be rehabilitated but most will go on to be your enemies, the ones in the world whose actions you exist to contravene.”

            The young man nodded. “How do I fight them?” The old man smiled gently. “With love and joy. With courage and conviction. We have no army, no political power, no laws to assist us save the laws that are most basic to us all; the laws of kindness and compassion. The law that we do unto others not only as we would have done to ourselves, but that which is right even if it is difficult. To aid those who need it. To uplift those who require it. To give all we have to give and sometimes more. It is a very difficult proposition, for greed is a very powerful thing. To survive in the world that is, one must have gold and yet the more gold one gets, the more gold one wants. We must show them that not all that glitters is gold.”

            He turned to his daughter. “Salidia, please fetch the Holly.” Her eyes sparkled and she looked even more beautiful. “You honor me, father. I will return with it in a moment.” She rose and walked out quickly. The young man stared after her, sorry to see her go. Santa chuckled. “You are fond of my daughter are you not?” He nodded absently then suddenly turned beet red. “Uhhh…I mean no offense sir…I mean, she’s the most beautiful woman…but…I…” Santa laughed then, a true laugh and the room seemed to brighten. The young man couldn’t help but smile and laugh as well.

            Santa said “Of course you are already in love with her my son, as I was with my dear Martha when I first came. You are meant to be with her and she with you. I have seen how she looks at you and believe me she feels the same about you. You will be married one day, mark my words.” The young man was flabbergasted, blushing furiously. Santa chuckled again. “That is one of the perks of the job, my son. You get to spend it with your one true love.”

            His face turned serious. “But there is also a great sacrifice that you make. Your life will be long and fruitful, but she is not Santa Claus; she will live long, but she will die long before you do. You will spend many lonely years missing her. You will also see your children die. All those you love in the Northlands shall die long before you do. At the end, you will have the comfort of but one of your children, one who will be the one who marries your successor or, at least the one who is meant to be your successor.”

            “You see, you have the choice to stay or leave. I cannot force this life on you. It must be accepted without reservation, understanding fully the ramifications of what your choice means. This is a life that offers great fulfillment and many, many years of joy but there is also great sadness and pain. The battle you will wage is never an easy one, and it is easy to despair. You will often feel your efforts in vain as often the children see their presents as their right and proper due rather than as what they really are; an expression of love and hope. You will wonder if you are truly making a difference and you will feel the loneliness that comes with being the only one of your kind. If you choose this life for yourself, it is with the understanding that the burden is a consuming one. Do you understand dear boy what I am offering you?”

            The young man nodded and stood up. “Yes, Father Christmas, I do understand. I want nothing more than to do good in this life. What better way than to be Santa Claus?” He offered his hand to the old man who shook it. Tears began to flow out of the old man’s eyes and he said “You have made an old man very happy, young man. Very happy indeed. Now, I ask you…your name.” The young man nodded and said “My name is Kris.”

            The old man nodded and said “It is an honor to meet you Kris.” He opened a drawer and pulled out a ledger. On this, there were several names listed. The last was Nicholas of Myra. Santa pushed the inkwell, the quill and the ledger towards him. “When you sign your name to the ledger, the deed will be done. You will become Santa Claus. I will once again be just Nicholas.” The young man picked up the Quill. As he did, a beautiful light filled his eyes. He could see everywhere, inside people and see the generosity in them, the goodness of their spirits. It brought tears to his eyes, but he looked to the ledger and slowly signed it “Kris Kringle.”

            The door opened and Salidia entered, carrying a velvet pillow on which a sprig of holly rested. The sprig was merely a stick, without leaves or berries. She carried it in with great reverence and laid it on the desk. She saw the ledger’s new signature and her smile broadened. She hugged Kris close and gave him a kiss, and he knew that he was with the woman he had always been searching for in that instant.

            Nicholas said “This is an ancient Holly, in which the spirit of Christmas resides. It contains the souls of all those who have presided over this city before you and into which my soul will now pass. It is where yours shall go when your successor arrives. It is the source for all the magic in this city; it endows simple reindeer with the power of flight and allows you to be in all places at once. When Christmas Eve arrives, you will bear it with you and this shall allow you to deliver all the presents in a single night. It is the Christmas miracle that happens each year and symbolizes the ability of Christmas to bring out the best in all of us. I will leave it in your capable hands…Santa.”

            The young man found himself crying. “Must you leave…?” The old man nodded sadly. “It is my time,” he said in a gentle voice, “and I am more than ready for it. I will always dwell here, in this spring of Holly and you shall know me each time you take it in your hands. Now, please allow an old man to say goodbye to his daughter one last time.”

            He rose and Salidia, who was sobbing rose to hug her father. They embraced and Salidia whispered “I love you father. Thank you for all you have given me.” The old man hugged her tightly. “And thank you, my child, for all you have given me.” They held each other for a time, and then the old man gently moved her away. The young man found himself rising and took Salidia in his arms to comfort her. She buried her head in his shoulder, weeping.

            Nicholas said “It is time,” and there was a loud sound like the tolling of a bell. He placed his hand on the sprig and smiled. “Goodbye children. I am content.” Sparkling light suffused the old man, all the colors of the rainbow did he glow. The light grew gradually brighter and brighter until at last it was pure white, and both Salidia and Kris had to look away. Soon the light gradually faded and the old man was gone but the sprig of Holly bloomed once again, covered with leaves and berries.

            Salidia and Kris held each other for a time until the tears stopped. They dried each other’s eyes and kissed; a long and loving embrace that would mark their wedding. The vows that they took were never spoken but implied. In that moment they were united as one.

            They walked to the doors of Santa’s office and opened them. There waiting were hundreds of elves, expectantly. It was Kris who spoke. “Nicholas is no more. He has joined those who came before him. A great man has passed from this world.” There was weeping then, as those who had served him so well and so long paid their respects. At last Kris spoke again. “His mantle passes to me now and I hope that I do as well by him as he did by you. Together we will continue the work that he did so well.”

            A voice cried out from the elves “Long live Santa Claus! Long live Christmas!” All the other elves took up the cry and there was great cheering. The bells of the city began to toll in joy and solemnity. The world itself seemed brighter for a bit.

            In the Northlands, Kris’ disappearance would be a mystery that would soon be forgotten. A younger brother would inherit the family farm and do as well by it as Kris himself probably would have. As for the Duke, he became a victim of his own greed as one of his debtors grew tired of waiting for payment and had the Duke brought to justice. The King, disgusted with the harm, the Duke had wrought on the Northlands, installed Kris’ brother as the new Duke and he ruled the Northlands with compassion and fairness, bringing to it a prosperity that was unrivaled for many generations.

            As for Kris, well, we all know about him. He continues to be Santa to this day and has spread joy and love for many years, but as he has grown older, the world has become a corrupt and despairing place. It is fast becoming time for his successor to be chosen. Perhaps one of you, gentle readers, shall feel a call, an urge to walk for reasons you cannot explain into a place where there are no humans and no hope of walking out alive. I hope you find the city where an old man and his daughter wait for you. I hope you find it in your heart to take up his mantle. I hope, most of all, you have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Fred Claus


Fred Claus

Elizabeth Banks stands out in any crowd but in THIS crowd...

(Warner Brothers) Vince Vaughn, Paul Giamatti, Kevin Spacey, Rachel Weisz, Miranda Richardson, Kathy Bates, Elizabeth Banks, John Michael Higgins, Chris “Ludacris” Bridges, Bobb’e J. Thompson. Directed by David Dobkin

Although we love our brothers and sisters, our lives are one long game of “who’s better.” The term “sibling rivalry” takes on an additional dimension when one of the siblings is famous and successful.

Fred Claus (Vaughn) has a secret – he is the older brother of Nicholas Claus (Giamatti), better known as Santa. Nearly from birth his mother (Bates) made it clear which sibling was her favorite, with a barrage of “Why can’t you be more like your brother” remarks tossed Fred’s way. And to be truthful, Nicholas has a pretty long shadow to step out from. He is so filled with goodness that he becomes a living saint and as such, he and his family also become immortal (don’t ask me to explain it – just go with it and you’ll find your head aching less).

At an early age Fred learned to resent the attention his younger brother got and chose to turn away from his family. He lives in Chicago now, just skating by on charm and full of promises that he rarely keeps, driving his girlfriend Wanda (Weisz), who works as a meter maid, crazy.

When a misunderstanding with a group of Salvation Army Santas leads to a fight in a toy store, Fred has no choice but to turn to his little brother to bail him out of jail. He also needs cash to open an Off-Track Betting parlor directly across the street from the Chicago Mercantile and time is of the essence. In order to get the cash, Fred agrees to work for his brother as Christmas approaches.

Despite the misgivings of Annette (Richardson), Nicholas’ wife, Nicholas sends head elf Willie (Higgins) to fetch Fred via flying reindeer and sleigh. He arrives to find the situation in the North Pole not as hunky dory as you might expect. Longer wish lists and a population explosion of children have left the elves unable to keep up with demand very well. Nicholas copes with the stress by overeating and to make matters worse, the powers that be have sent Clyde Northcutt (Spacey) – an efficiency expert – to report on the state of things at Santa’s Workshop. If the report is bad enough, Clyde can shut the whole operation down…permanently.

Nicholas puts Fred to work in the Naughty/Nice department, making the determination which children get presents and which kids get nothing. In the meantime, he has to deal with a one-dimensional DJ (Ludacris) and an unrequited romance between Willie and Santa’s Little Helper, a tall and buxom number-cruncher named Charlene (Banks). To make matters worse, someone is actively trying to sabotage the operation and is using Fred as the fall guy. Can even a saint – or a saint’s brother – save Christmas?

This movie got scathing reviews when it was first released in 2007 and in some ways, I can see why. It advertised itself as a comedy (and with Vaughn in the cast, who could blame them?) and I think that might have been the original intentions of the filmmakers to produce one.

But this isn’t a comedy, and if you expect it to work as one, you’re going to dislike this movie intensely. What Fred Claus REALLY is, is a family holiday movie. Granted, there are some scenes that are actually funny (the Siblings Anonymous scene comes to mind off the bat) and the by-play between brothers Nicholas and Fred are pretty realistic and laugh-inducing, too.

What’s at the heart of this movie is the sibling rivalry between the two brothers, and Fred learning to grow beyond it. His life is empty without people in it and his relationship with his brother has informed all the other relationships in his life since. If Fred comes off as a bit of a huckster, well it’s more or less a defense mechanism. When he cynically informs Slam (Thompson), an orphan he has befriended, not to drink the Kool-Aid, it’s because he’s terrified of finding out the Kool-Aid actually tastes good.

There are a lot of good actors involved in this and production designer Allan Cameron has given them a gorgeous playground to work in. The North Pole sets are definite eye candy, particularly the magnificent Workshop that comes off as a cross between the Crystal Palace of London and a Rube Goldberg-designed factory.

There are some scenes that are genuinely heartwarming, and I really liked the Elf Ninjas who act as a kind of deranged Santa Secret Service. If you like either Giamatti or Vaughn, they are at the top of their games here and since I like both of them, it’s like getting an extra scoop of ice cream in your hot fudge sundae.

There comes a time in all our lives where we must assert our own identities and this movie is all about that. It took Fred centuries to learn that he was his own person and special in his own way; hopefully it won’t take most of us that long to get the same message.

WHY RENT THIS: The interplay between Vaughn and Giamatti is brotherly and fun. Some touching familial reconciliation tugs at the heartstrings. North Pole set design is off the hook.

WHY RENT SOMETHING ELSE: Sometimes Vaughn gets a little bit out of control. If you’re expecting a comedy, this really isn’t one.

FAMILY VALUES: As with most Christmas movies, everything is fine for the kids.

TRIVIAL PURSUIT: Jeffrey Dean Morgan has an uncredited cameo as a parking ticket recipient who hits on Wanda.

NOTABLE DVD EXTRAS: The Blu-Ray edition comes with a Ludacris music video as well as, oddly, a DVD games disc. There is also a featurette on sibling rivalry featuring several of the participants in the Siblings Anonymous scene.

FINAL RATING: 7/10

TOMORROW: The Holly and The Quill continues.