Hell Hath No Fury


Wondering what’s going on.

(2021) War (Well Go USA) Nina Bergman, Andrew Berling, Daniel Bernhardt, Louis Mandylor, Josef Cannon, Timothy Murphy, Charles Fathy, Luke LaFontaine, Alma Andrei, Dominique Vandenberg. Directed by Jesse V. Johnson

Greed does things to people, most of it not very nice. It turns our moral compasses to the “off” position and puts us in a place where we see nothing else beyond our own avarice. It turns us, in short, into assholes.

In the waning day of World War II, Marie DuJardin (Bergman) has just been released from prison. She has been forced to shave her head – not because of lice, but because she had a romantic affair with a German officer, SS Major von Bruckner (Bernhardt). A Swastika has been painted on her dome to let all and sundry know that she is a collaborator. She is forced to go half-naked (wearing only a slip) and is in serious jeopardy of being ripped limb from limb; until she tells a group of American GIs led by Major Maitland (Mandylor) that she knows the location of Nazi gold.

She agrees to take them there, but unknown to either one of them the French resistance fighters who had ambushed her and von Bruckner three years earlier are also on the hunt for the gold – and the Nazis, who are withdrawing from France, do not intend to flee without their gold. It threatens to be a really nasty fight, but who is conning who?

While Marie DuJardin actually existed, her story was spiced up a bit and made more cinematic, so don’t go thinking that this all actually happened this way. It didn’t. Still, Bergman is a real find. A Danish model/actress/singer of Russian descent, her French accent isn’t the best you’ll ever hear, but she makes up for it with oodles of presence, a ballsy action heroine attitude, and a willingness to take herself to emotional places a lot of actresses shy away from. Her presence is so formidable that she can spend most of the film wearing just underwear without it feeling exploitive; she radiates dignity that goes beyond what she’s wearing. Note to the makers of the James Bond films; she’d make an excellent Bond girl no matter who ends up with the role next.

I do give the filmmakers props for getting this made with COVID protocols in place, but you’d never know it watching the movie. Yeah, there are plenty of cliches, the story is a bit convoluted and the twists end up being preposterous but despite all of that the movie grows on you enough that you can overlook the obvious flaws and just take it all in.

This is one of those movies that is slow getting started, but once it does it’s actually pretty entertaining. The trouble is, you have to sit through about 40 minute that are pretty slow-moving, and not everyone has that kind of patience. Those that stick around will be rewarded by a slam-bang finale full of twists and turns (some of them admittedly improbable) that as long as you’re willing to chuck logic out the window, you’re liable to have a good time in spite of yourself.

REASONS TO SEE: Picks up steam as it goes along.
REASONS TO AVOID: Feels convoluted, cliched and occasionally mean-spirited.
FAMILY VALUES: There is all sorts of violence, profanity and some sexuality.
TRIVIAL PURSUIT: Vandenberg spent several years as a member of the French Foreign Legion before turning to stunt work and acting.
BEYOND THE THEATERS: AppleTV, Spectrum (available on most streaming platforms on November 9, 2021)
CRITICAL MASS: As of 11/7/2021: Rotten Tomatoes: 83% positive reviews; Metacritic: No score yet.
COMPARISON SHOPPING: Three Kings
FINAL RATING: 6/10
NEXT:
Dangerous