Attack of the Unknown


Don’t look behind you.

(2020) Science Fiction (Gravitas) Richard Grieco, Tara Reid, Robert LoSardo, Jolene Andersen, Tania Fox, Douglas Tait, Robert Donavan, Ben Stobber, Scott Butler, Margo Quinn, Gerardo de Pablos, Dee Cutrone, Tamara Solomson, Mia ScozzaFave, Paul Gunn, Navin P. Kumar, Johnny Huang, Elizabeth Noelle Japhet, Al Burke, Rachel Christenson. Directed by Brandon Slagle

 

I’m not sure when H.G. Wells wrote The War of the Worlds or when Orson Welles broadcast a version of it on the radio that they realized that someday there would be several alien invasion movies every year of varying production values and quality. I sort of doubt it. And had they known, they might well have had a good laugh.

Vernon (Grieco) is the taciturn, tough-as-nails leader of an elite SWAT team of the LAPD. They have staked out cartel leader Miguel “Hades” Aguirre (LoSardo) and after a bloody gunfight, capture the drug lord. Their triumph is tempered by the loss of one of their members and the sudden intrusion of the Feds who insist on taking over the case.

The day gets worse for Vernon as his wife serves him with divorce papers and to make matters even worse, he receives word that he has terminal myeloma. What’s next, an invasion of bloodthirsty aliens hellbent on sucking the blood of every last human being in Los Angeles?

Funny you should mention that. It’s exactly what happens, to everyone’s surprise except for maybe Vernon. He holes up with the remains of his team and a few civilians, including Hades in the detention center which is not as well-stocked with guns and ammo as you might think. They know that they can’t stay there but there’s a possibility of getting to a nearby high rise for a helicopter rescue, but first they’re going to have to fight their way through a swarm of seemingly indestructible aliens.

On paper, it sounds like the genesis of what could be a wild and fun ride, and certainly that was what director Brendan Slagle was after – at least, he has a lot of elements that are working in that direction, from a frenetic, breathless pace to a marvelous Clint Eastwood on Zen-like performance by Grieco, who is grizzled enough now that the one-time 21 Jump Street babyface has a shot at a new career doing gritty action films like this one.

Like most B-movies, this one has a budget that would cause Kevin Feige (the producer of Marvel movies, for those wondering who he is) hysterics. The best-known actors are Grieco and Tara Reid, who is in a blink-and-you-missed-it flashback of a previous alien invasion – apparently there were no Sharknado movies in production at the time. The CGI is okay, not great but the aliens are actually laughable; guys in felt suits with headpieces left over from This Island Earth that Ed Wood would have loved.

There are a few needless subplots that probably should have been jettisoned to streamline this a bit more, but as they say, it’s all in good fun and it’s mostly harmless, unless you object to seeing bad things happen to good cops. This isn’t going to make anybody forget Independence Day but if you like your sci-fi cheesy, gritty and violent, this might just be for you.

REASONS TO SEE: Cheesy in kind of a good way.
REASONS TO AVOID: The aliens are really unconvincing.
FAMILY VALUES: There is a ton of violence, some nudity and sex, as well as a fair amount of profanity.
TRIVIAL PURSUIT: Slagle took several concepts in the film from a short story he wrote in middle school called “Blood is the Cure.”
BEYOND THE THEATERS: Amazon, AppleTV, Fandango Now, Google Play, Microsoft, Vudu, YouTube
CRITICAL MASS: As of 9/6/20: Rotten Tomatoes: No score yet: Metacritic: No score yet
COMPARISON SHOPPING: Assault on Precinct 13
FINAL RATING: 5/10
NEXT:
Psychomagic: A Healing Art

Ravage


This is one shutterbug you really shouldn’t mess with.

(2019) Action (BrainstormAnnabelle Dexter-Jones, Bruce Dern, Eric Nelsen, Robert Longstreet, Joshua Brady, Ross Partridge, Chris Pinkalla, Drake Shannon, Michael Weaver. Directed by Teddy Grennan

 

One of the mainstays of grindhouse cinema in the 70s and 80s was the plotline that involved a young woman getting wronged (generally involving rape) by one or a bunch of redneck-types and then goes out to kick the ever-loving deplorable out of ‘em. Those movies fell out of favor, mainly because films depicting rape are frowned upon these days (which is a good thing). But, the kick-ass woman archetype has been passed down through the years in horror films and in revenge thrillers like this one.

Harper Sykes (Dexter-Jones) is a renowned nature photographer who has been acclaimed for going to remote and sometimes dangerous areas to get her shots and it has paid off; she has photographed two species that were thought to be extinct. Now she’s closer to home, in the (fictional) Watchatoomy Valley where, it is whispered, there are homicidal Catholics and cannibalistic Chinese living in the dense woods.

As she looks for a specific species of bird in the wilderness, she stumbles across something she’s not meant to see; a group of good ole boys feeding a man to their dogs. Sickened, she takes pictures of the perpetrators and high-tails it to the local police. Before she can show the sympathetic sheriff (Partridge) her pictures, she is abducted by the bad guys and taken to their leader, Ravener (Longstreet).

She is beaten and raped, but manages to escape, leading the men on a deadly chase where she turns out to be surprisingly vicious herself. On the way back, she runs into a nice old man (Dern) and winds up making it back to town, where a not-so-pleasant surprise waits for her.

This is as brutal a film as you’re going to see this year; it has elements of torture porn and the aforementioned grindhouse fare, but there is a bit of a modern vibe to it as well, so it never feels like a rehash of something that has come before. One of the reasons the movie works so well is the performance of Dexter-Jones, who is vulnerable at times, but hard as nails when the chips are down. She has all the makings of both an excellent action hero and a fine scream queen. She definitely has the confidence and charisma to carry a movie as she does here as she’s in almost every scene.

Most of the gore here is implied and for those who are concerned that the rape will trigger sensitive sorts, it is never actually shown onscreen but alluded to in dialogue. The ending is a wild one; you may be blown away or you may be disgusted. Either way, you won’t look the same way at dairy farms again.

There are a few problems here; most of the film is told in the form of a flashback, so we know in advance that the heroine is going to survive, even though she is bandaged head to toe in her interrogation scenes with a skeptical state detective (Weaver), which leads to another issue here – some cringe-inducing plot points. Why would a detective assume that a world-renowned photographer (as Harper is set up to be) is a demented meth-head? Why doesn’t she utilize the motorbikes that are available to her several times during the course of the film instead of trying to hike out on foot? And why does someone as methodical and as obviously well-trained as Harper is end up trusting someone who she doesn’t know, especially after she’s been burned before more than once?

Other than those sorts of things, this is a movie that grabs you by the throat and shakes you like a rabid dog with a piece of diseased flyblown meat in its maw. There isn’t anything terribly redeeming and considering the abuse that Harper takes, no triumphant feminist message; it’s just bad things happening to a good person who may have looked like a fairly vulnerable girl but turned out to be an ass-kicker of the first order. I enjoyed just about every minute of it.

REASONS TO SEE: A lot better than you think it’s going to be. Dexter-Jones proves to be an excellent action hero.
REASONS TO AVOID: Gets a little far-fetched in places.
FAMILY VALUES: There is plenty of violence, a fair amount of profanity, and some sexual/rape references.
TRIVIAL PURSUIT: Filmed in Virginia near Somerset.
BEYOND THE THEATERS: Amazon, Fandango Now
CRITICAL MASS: As of 8/23/20: Rotten Tomatoes: No score yet, Metacritic: No score yet
COMPARISON SHOPPING: Mother’s Day (1980)
FINAL RATING: 7/10
NEXT:
Train to Busan Presents Peninsula

Cold Pursuit


”It’ll be a cold day in Hell when Liam Neeson does another action mov….oh, crap!”

 (2019) Action (SummitLiam Neeson, Laura Dern, Micheál Richardson, Michael Eklund, Bradley Stryker, Wesley MacInnes, Tom Bateman, Domenick Lombardozzi, Nicholas Holmes, Jim Shield, Aleks Paunovic, Glenn Ennis, Benjamin Hollingsworth, John Dornan, Emmy Rossum, Chris W. Cook, Venus Terzo, Dani Alvarado, Julia Jones, William Forsythe, Elizabeth Thai. Directed by Hans Petter Moland

 

They say revenge is a dish best served cold. Liam Neeson should know; he’s made a living the last decade or two playing aggrieved fathers/husbands/friends kicking the shit out of those who have done him wrong. So it’s kind of fitting that this, what he has said will be his final action role, is set in a Colorado ski resort.

Neeson plays Nels Coxman, the snowplow driver who has recently won a citizen of the year award for the town. However, his civic acclaim hides the fact that the tiny little hamlet has a problem with crime and violence. Nels isn’t immune from it; his son Kyle (Richardson) turns up dead of a heroin overdose. Nels and his wife (Dern) are devastated, but it smells fishy to Nels. His son ever used drugs and Nels would know if he had, right? So he goes on a one man crusade to find out the truth, even if he has to kill every lowlife drug dealer and criminal in town. And there are an awful lot of them.

Moland directed this remake of his own Swedish film In Order of Disappearance from five years ago, and infuses it with an almost satirical, quirky sense of humor – each bad guy that joins the Choir Invisible gets an onscreen tombstone with his colorful gang nickname emblazoned on it. The hits keep getting harder and bloodier and while Neeson thrives with this sort of thing, here he seems oddly low-key.

The big bad is played by Tom Bateman who overacts gleefully and shamelessly. Normally a role like a drug lord named Viking would be ripe for that sort of thing, but Bateman takes it over the line into parody which is no Bueno in a film like this. Action fans will enjoy some particularly grisly deaths, but film fans will A) wonder why Laura Dern is onscreen for all of 90 seconds, and B), how does a snowplow driver turn into a lethal assassin of paranoid gang members. Well, you don’t go to an action film for logic, right?

REASONS TO SEE: Has elements of satire to it.
REASONS TO AVOID: Lackluster action film whose comic jabs don’t always hit the mark.
FAMILY VALUES: There is violence, drug content, sexual references and profanity.
TRIVIAL PURSUIT: Richardson, who plays Neeson’s son, is his son in real life.
BEYOND THE THEATER: Amazon, AMC On Demand, AppleTV, Fandango Now, Google Play, Max Go, Microsoft, Redbox, Vudu, YouTube
CRITICAL MASS: As of 6/26//20: Rotten Tomatoes: 69% positive reviews. Metacritic: 57/100.
COMPARISON SHOPPING: Peppermint
FINAL RATING: 6/10
NEXT:
Ella Fitzgerald: Just One of Those Things

Miss Bala (2019)


Doing the cartel crouch.

(2019) Action (ColumbiaGina Rodriguez, Ismael Cruz Córdova, Anthony Mackie, Cristina Rodio, Damián Alcázar, Matt Lauria, Ricardo Abarca, Sebastián Cano, Aislinn Derbez, Lilian Guadalupe Tapia Robles, Erick Rene Delgadillo, Mikhail Plata, Jorge Humberto Millan Mardueño, Thomas Dekker, José Sefami, Gaby Orihuela, Roberto Sosa, Vivian Chan. Directed by Catherine Hardwicke

 

For those in the know, Mexico has a thriving cinematic scene that has produced such luminaries as Guillermo del Toro and Alfonso Cuaron, as well as some amazing films, like Y tu mama tambien and Amores perros, not to mention a stark thriller called Miss Bala.

That movie, Mexico’s official submission for the 2012 Best Foreign Language Film Oscar, had a lot going for it but was ultimately flawed, largely due to the somewhat one-dimensional nature of the lead character, although the actress playing her did a pretty good job considering that she didn’t have a whole lot to work with. In the American remake, Gloria Fuentes (Rodriguez) is an American make-up artist who returns to the place of her birth, Tijuana to help her best friend Suzu (Rodio) with her make-up for the upcoming Miss Baja pageant.

They go to a local nightclub so that Suzu has an opportunity to mingle with the judges, particularly Police Chief Salazar (Alcázar) whose vote is crucial to winning the pageant. However, while Gloria has excused herself to the bathroom, a group of heavily armed cartel thugs shoot up the nightclub. Gloria escapes but in the confusion can’t find Suzu. When Suzu hasn’t appeared by the next morning – and is not among the dead – she realizes that Suzu has been taken, but by who?

Gloria is kidnapped herself by the Las estrellas gang whose leader Lino (Córdova) who wants to make use of Gloria and promises to find Suzu if she does what she’s told. There are, as you might expect, plans within plans, plots stirring and double crosses across the board. A gruff DEA agent (Lauria) also wants to use Gloria to infiltrate the gang, and an American gangster (Mackie) warns that there is a DEA mole in the gang. What’s a girl to do?

Rodriguez, who was so good in Jane the Virgin in a comic role, shows leading lady presence not to mention some pretty decent action chops, although I kinda wish she had more opportunity to use them. She has “star” written all over her; unfortunately, in the time period we are currently enduring, her Hispanic background may be an issue with a segment of the moviegoing crowd which is a shame; she is absolutely terrific here.

The rest of the movie is basically a pretty rote action film which gets points for getting made with a predominantly Hispanic cast in the age of “Build that wall” but loses points for not displaying a ton of originality. A lot of the best elements of the original film were taken out, but one critical new element was added in; Gloria is no victim, regardless of her circumstances. That’s pretty refreshing to see a female in an action movie as strong and as capable as this one and not be played by Sigourney Weaver or Linda Hamilton.

REASONS TO SEE: Rodriguez is a terrific action star/leading lady.
REASONS TO AVOID: Would have been more effective with an “R” rating.
FAMILY VALUES: There is a fair amount of violence, drug and sexual content and plenty of profanity.
TRIVIAL PURSUIT: A remake of a 2011 Mexican movie of the same title.
BEYOND THE THEATERS: Amazon, AMC On Demand, AppleTV, Fandango Now, Google Play, Microsoft, Movies Anywhere, Redbox, Sling TV, Starz, Vudu, YouTube
CRITICAL MASS: As of 6/8/20: Rotten Tomatoes: 22% positive reviews, Metacritic: 41/100
COMPARISON SHOPPING: Columbiana
FINAL RATING: 6/10
NEXT:
Parkland Rising

Polar


Portrait of a badass.

(2019) Action (Netflix) Mads Mikkelsen, Vanessa Hudgens, Katheryn Winnick, Fei Ren, Ruby O. Fee, Matt Lucas, Robert Maillet, Anthony Grant, Josh Cruddas, Lovina Yavan, Ayisha Issa, Pedro Miguel Arce, Anastasia Marinina, Martin Zolotarev, Richard Dreyfuss, Johnny Knoxville, Inga Cadranel, Jill Frappier, Nia Roam, Julian Richings, Roman Lebeau, Sofia Grossi. Directed by Jonas Åkerlund

 

It should come as no surprise to anyone who’s seen Polar that it is based on a graphic novel. Everything about the movie screams “comic book,” from the color palette to the emphasis on feminine boot-ay and boobies, to the well-choreographed mayhem that takes place with a surfeit of blood and gore.

Duncan (Mikkelsen) works as an assassin-for-hire for the Damocles Corporation, where he is known as the Black Kaiser. He is nearing the mandatory retirement age of 50 and looks forward to receiving his pension and retiring to his remote Montana home. Unfortunately for him, the company’s corpulent owner Blut (Lucas) is looking to sell and needs to maximize its value. A clause in the contract says that if employees die without a will, the pension goes back to the company. Blut aims to kill all the veteran assassins who largely have had no relationships over the years and use the money to prop up the liquid cash holdings of the company. A true Republican move, that.

But Duncan isn’t so easy to kill and despite the parade of colorful killers sent his way, continues to survive much to the irritation of Blut. Duncan has also formed a relationship with Camille (Hudgens) who lives nearby (i.e. within 100 miles). If Duncan can live long enough to collect his pension, there are going to be an awful lot of openings at Damocles.

For action junkies, there is a whole lot of that and just the way you like it, too – long on gore and short on sense. There are a lot of backhanded compliments to other lone assassin stories, with John Wick chief among them, although the world of Polar is a lot less developed than the world of John Wick. There is also the subversive humor of the Neveldine brothers as well.

I have definitely got a man-crush on Mads Mikkelsen. The man never seems to make a bad acting decision. He is one of those guys who is never flashy, but always makes every movie he is cast in just that much better. He can do the taciturn loner about as well as anybody including Keanu Reeves – although not as well as Clint Eastwood in his heyday (sorry, Mads).

Critics have basically torn this film a new one, but I don’t know. I think of it as a guilty pleasure. It’s definitely a film for boys, though – not that women won’t or can’t enjoy it, but it certainly panders to that demographic.

REASONS TO SEE: Has the feel of a cinematic comic book. Mikkelsen is awesome, as always.
REASONS TO AVOID: Gets a little bit self-repetitive near the end.
FAMILY VALUES: Lots and lots of violence and gore, plenty of profanity and some sexuality.
TRIVIAL PURSUIT: While there is an actress named Marsha Mason in the cast, it is not the same one that appeared with Richard Dreyfuss in The Goodbye Girl.
BEYOND THE THEATERS: Netflix
CRITICAL MASS: As of 6/3/20: Rotten Tomatoes: 19% positive reviews, Metacritic: 19/100
COMPARISON SHOPPING: Atomic Blonde
FINAL RATING: 7/10
NEXT:
Feral

Hunter Killer


Looks like Gerard Butler just read the script.

(2018) Action (SummitGerard Butler, Gary Oldman, Common, Michael Nyqvist, Linda Cardellini, Corey Johnson, Toby Stephens, Ryan McPartlin, Ethan Baird, Jacob Scipio, Dempsey Bovell, Henry Goodman, Adam James, Colin Stinton, Carter McIntyre, Shane Taylor, Kola Bokinni, Mikey Collins, David Gyasi, Will Attenborough, Kieron Bimpson, Sarah Middleton. Directed by Donovan Marsh

 

Sebastian the Crab famously sung “Under the sea/Darling, it’s better/Down where it’s wetter/Take it from me” in The Little Mermaid but clearly he hadn’t seen this submarine thriller. Gerard Butler has carved out a niche protecting Presidents for Lionsgate/Summit films (here it happens to be the Russian President) but in this case he’s doing so on board a submarine.

When a rogue Russian general takes the Russian prez hostage and prepares to initiate World War III (which hawkish Chairman of the Joint Chiefs (Oldman) just might oblige him. It is up to Captain Joe Glass (Butler) and the crew of the USS Arkansas, along with an elite rescue team headed by one Bill Beaman (Stephens) and an NSA operative (Cardellini) to mount a rescue operation before all hell breaks loose.

Sub movies can be deliciously tension-filled and full of geopolitical fun but this one is more of a standard action film. Try not to think about the preposterous plot points or the phoned-in acting performances – this is most definitely a paycheck movie, as evidenced by the nearly two years it sat on the shelf (in the interim Nyqvist, who played a Russian sub commander, passed away).

Perhaps the most grievous failure of the film is in its CGI which is utterly unconvincing. I get that not everyone can have a massive budget for their film but if you’re going to show submarines playing cat and mouse with each other, it should look at least vaguely realistic. The movie isn’t completely without merit, as there are moments where you’re likely to find yourself sucked in to the show, but for the most part you’ll be better served renting any of a couple of dozen sub movies that are much better.

REASONS TO SEE: Reasonably entertaining.
REASONS TO AVOID: The CGI is weak.
FAMILY VALUES: There is some violence as well as profanity.
TRIVIAL PURSUIT: Director Donovan Marsh and Butler sailed for four days aboard the USS Houston in order to familiarize themselves with submarine life.
BEYOND THE THEATERS: Amazon, AMC On-Demand, AppleTV, Fandango Now, Google Play, HBO Now, Microsoft, Vudu, YouTube
CRITICAL MASS: As of 4/2/20: Rotten Tomatoes: 36% positive reviews: Metacritic: 43/100
COMPARISON SHOPPING: The Hunt for Red October
FINAL RATING: 5/10
NEXT:
Celebration

Bacurau


A town like no other.

(2019) Action (Kino LorberBárbara Colen, Thomas Aquino, Silvero Pereira, Thardelly Lima, Rubens Santos, Wilson Rabelo, Carlos Francisco, Luciana Souza, Karine Teles, Antonio Saboia, Sônia Braga, Udo Kier, Buda Lira, Clebia Sousa, Danny Barbosa, Edison Silva, Eduarda Samara, Fabiola Liper, Ingrid Trigueiro, Jamila Facury, Jr. Black, Suzy Lopes. Directed by Juliano Dornelles and Kleber Mendonça Filho

 

In the northeast corner of Brazil is the sertão, the Brazilian version of the Australian outback. It’s a region rarely seen in Brazilian cinema which tends to focus more on urban wildernesses, with an occasional detour into Amazonian rain forests. There are plenty of interesting stories to be had in the sertão as well.

In this bone-dry dusty environment lies the small village of Bacurau. Taking place a few years from now, the town has recently been squabbling with local authorities which have dammed up their water supply, forcing them to have water delivered in tanker trucks. It is in one of these that Teresa (Colen) rides into town for her grandmother’s funeral.

At the funeral, the town doctor Domingas (Braga) goes on a drunken rant berating Teresa’s grandma, but like many of the townspeople she’s on edge; in addition to water being cut off, their cell service has ceased. Soon, they also notice that the town can no longer be found on GPS maps. Then, there are sightings of mysterious UFOs and an entire family turns up massacred. Strange visitors show up from the city to go dirt biking in the wilderness. And who are those strangers in the hunting lodge outside of town?

Things are about to get ugly in Bacurau, and they call on outlaw Lunga (Pereira) to help defend the town. The strangers, white tourists from America and the UK, are planning on hunting the most dangerous game and Bacurau – sold out by their mayor Tony Junior (Lima) who despises the town anyway – is their game preserve.

The look and feel of the film owe a lot to John Carpenter and more to the point, Sergio Leone. You could well call this Once Upon a Time in Brazil. Although the score is more electronic in nature, you can almost hear the strains of Ennio Morricone on the soundtrack.

This is a glorious mash-up of a variety of styles and there is a charmingly offbeat feel to the movie. Bacurau is full of real characters but none really so off-kilter as to undermine the film. This is definitely an ensemble piece because although they seem to be setting up Teresa as the central character, she isn’t really the lead. Equal time is given to reformed outlaw Pacote (Aquino), Lunga, Domingas and a few others. It does take a little while to get going but once it does, it’s absolutely mind-blowing.

Ostensibly set “a few years from now,” the movie is very much an allegory on modern Brazil and definitely a hate letter to ruler Jair Bolsonaro and as much so for foreign corporate interests who come in, utilize the country’s vast natural resources and leave nothing for those who live there.

But this isn’t just social commentary. This is also satisfyingly entertaining, even at times, zany. You can’t help but root for the citizens of Bacurau just as you can’t help but enjoy this fun – with a message – flick.

PLEASE NOTE: This film will be available on Enzian On-Demand starting today. A portion of the online streaming rental will go to the Enzian. Members should definitely take advantage of this; see a great film at home and benefit our beloved Enzian. Go to this page for more information on EOD, or here to stream the film and benefit the Enzian.

REASONS TO SEE: Off-beat in a good way. Has a charmingly retro feel to it.
REASONS TO AVOID: Takes a little while to get going.
FAMILY VALUES: There is all kinds of violence, profanity and some nudity.
TRIVIAL PURSUIT: The school depicted in the film carries the Portuguese name for John Carpenter, who is an idol of both directors.
CRITICAL MASS: As of 3/25/20: Rotten Tomatoes: 88% positive reviews, Metacritic: 80/100
COMPARISON SHOPPING: The collected works of Sergio Leone.
FINAL RATING: 7.5/10
NEXT:
An Irish Story: This is My Home

Peppermint (2018)


Mommies with guns – what fun!

(2018) Action (STXJennifer Garner, John Gallagher Jr., John Ortiz, Juan Pablo Raba, Annie Ilonzeh, Jeff Hephner, Cailey Fleming, Eddie Shin, Cliff “Method Man” Smith, Tyson Ritter, Ian Casselberry, Richard Cabral, Johnny Ortiz, Michael Reventar, Kyla-Drew Simmons, Gustavo Quiroz, Pell James, John Boyd, Michael Mosley, Jeff Harlan, Chris Johnson, Samantha Edelstein. Directed by Pierre Morel

 

Jennifer Garner began her career with the excellent TV spy series Alias but has since fallen out of the action genre and into roles that are mom-centric. She plays a mom here as well, but a different kind of mom.

Riley North (Garner) doesn’t have it easy; between her take-home pay as a bank teller and her husband’s (Hephner) as a mechanic there isn’t a whole lot left over. Worse still, her hours at the bank force her to miss her daughter’s (Fleming) birthday party. So, she is guilted into going with the two of them to the local Christmas carnival, only to watch her husband and daughter brutally gunned down before her very eyes.

She is able to identify the killers but the justice system fails her in spectacular fashion. Refusing to take a pay-off, she is let down by a corrupt district attorney and a corrupt judge. Things get so bad that she is put in a mental hospital, from which she escapes…and then disappears for five years.

She puts the five years to good use, learning combat training, hand-to-hand training and essentially anything that will make killing bad guys wholesale easier. When she comes back, it is as kind of a folk hero but the corrupt city government as well as the vicious drug cartel are out to take her out for good.

This is pretty standard revenge-flick fare with not a whole lot in the originality department. As mentioned, Garner is excellent in her role, one that combines her latter career maternal roles with her early career kickass roles. The movie is unusually bloody for its type (which is saying something) and there have been some rumblings from woke film critics who notice that most of the bad guys are Hispanic. Villains who aren’t old white men are apparently no longer acceptable. I know the LAPD won’t like this film very much at all.

I’m not bothered by that any more than I would have been bothered if the villains were Russians, or Arabs, or any other nationality you can name. Somebody has to be the bad guy and there are plenty of Hispanic criminals out there, just like there are plenty of Russian ones, Arab criminals and any other nationality you can name. Still, the movie does itself a disservice by simply relying on tried and true tropes that are predictable as well as overused. The results are a lackluster movie that wastes a fine performance by Jennifer Garner.

REASONS TO SEE: Garner would make Linda Hamilton proud.
REASONS TO AVOID: Standard, unremarkable revenge action thriller.
FAMILY VALUES: There are some adult themes.
TRIVIAL PURSUIT: Jennifer Garner has used the same stunt double (Shauna Duggins) for almost twenty years.
BEYOND THE THEATERS: Amazon, AppleTV, Fandango Now, Fubo TV, Google Play, Microsoft, Redbox, Showtime, Vudu, YouTube
CRITICAL MASS: As of 1/15/20: Rotten Tomatoes: 12% positive reviews: Metacritic: 29/100.
COMPARISON SHOPPING: The Rhythm Section
FINAL RATING: 6/10
NEXT:
Fahrenheit 11/9

Mile 22


Mark Wahlberg does his best Rambo.

(2018) Action (STX) Mark Wahlberg, Lauren Cohan, Iko Uwais, Ronda Rousey, Terry Kinney, John Malkovich, Carlo Alban, Natasha Goubskaya, Chae Rin Lee, Sam Medina, Keith Arthur Bolden, Jenique Hendrix, Billy Smith, Myke Holmes, Emily Skeggs, Brandon Scales, Poorna Jagannathan, Peter Berg, Elle Graham, Nikolai Nikolaeff, Ariel Felix, Tom Astor, Kate Rigg. Directed by Peter Berg

There is nothing wrong with a chest-thumping testosterone epic. Those movies have their place and when done well, can be extremely entertaining as the careers of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone can attest. HOWEVER, when not done well they can be almost painful to watch – particularly when they have every reason to succeed.

Jimmy Silva (Wahlberg) is the leader of an elite covert CIA team that does all the dirty deeds (and not dirt cheap) that our country needs done under cover of darkness. The world is on the brink; radioactive material is missing and there are terrorists on the hunt for it. The cesium must be found before all Armageddon breaks loose. Policeman/CIA informant Li Noor (Uwais) has a disc that has the information they need, but he needs to be transported out of the country before he’ll decrypt it – the corrupt Minister of Oppressing His People and Making Huge Personal Profits is out to get him, you see.

Because of a complicated set of circumstances I won’t even go into here, the plane to take Li Noor outta Dodge can only touch down for no more than ten minutes. The rendezvous point is 22 miles from the safe house that they have him stored in. In order to get him there, they’ll have to fight their way through motorcycle gangs, well-armed mercenaries and the Ip Man School of Martial Arts. Okay, I was exaggerating about the last one.

The plot is confused and confusing; nothing really makes much sense. I attribute most of that to lazy writing; first time scribe Lea Carpenter seems more interested in excuses for fight scenes than in crafting a riveting action movie. The team doesn’t even embark on their main mission until the film is more than halfway over.

Those fight scenes are at least well-staged; casting Uwais, the veteran from the two Raid movies, was a boon for the film. Unfortunately, there’s too much voiceover (another sign of lazy writing), too much exposition, too little character development and too much plot. There are a lot of great action movies out there. That means you don’t have a reason to check out a mediocre one. If you give this one a miss, I’ll certainly understand.

REASONS TO SEE: The fight scenes are well-staged.
REASONS TO AVOID: A confusing mess.
FAMILY VALUES: There is all sorts of violence and profanity.
TRIVIAL PURSUIT: The airport that is playing the Moscow airport in the film is actually Long Beach airport.
BEYOND THE THEATERS: Amazon, AppleTV, Fandango Now, Google Play, Microsoft, Redbox, Showtime, Sling TV, Vudu, YouTube
CRITICAL MASS: As of 1/11/20: Rotten Tomatoes: 23% positive reviews: Metacritic: 38/100.
COMPARISON SHOPPING: The Gauntlet
FINAL RATING: 5/10
NEXT:
Operation Finale

The Equalizer 2


You never know what might be peering around the corner.

(2018) Action (ColumbiaDenzel Washington, Pedro Pascal, Ashton Sanders, Orson Bean, Bill Pullman, Melissa Leo, Jonathan Scarfe, Sakina Jeffrey, Kazy Tauginas, Garrett A. Golden, Adam Karst, Alican Barias, Rhys Cote, Tamara Hickey, Ken Baltin, Colin Allen, Antoine de Lartigue, Abigail Marlowe, Jim Loutzenheiser, Rex Banning, Lance Williams, Caroline Day. Directed by Antoine Fuqua

 

Washington returns as Robert McCall, the retired CIA black ops assassin turned do-gooder in the movie franchise based on a popular 80s TV series. Here his- vengeance takes a more personal note; his former CIA handler (Leo) is brutally murdered in Brussels while investigating the deaths of informants and assets there. Naturally, Denzel doesn’t take kindly to this; she’s one of his only friends. So, it’s up to McCall to go medieval on a bunch of asses before finding the man behind it all – whose identity should surprise no-one.

Fuqua is a skilled action director and Washington one of the most charismatic actors to ever appear onscreen. Even their considerable talents though can’t quite make you forget that the script is heavy with predictable plot points and leaden dialogue. There is also a subplot involving Bean as a nonagenarian Holocaust survivor trying to reunite with his sister which while sweet adds absolutely nothing to the story; we get plenty of other instances of McCall’s charitable nature to get the point.

This isn’t a bad movie by any means but with talents like Fuqua and Washington involved it should be a better movie. Action fans will love the sequence when a knife-wielding assassin tries to take out McCall in a moving car while Denzel fans will love the fact that the Oscar-winning actor is as good as ever in the movie. I still wish that some of the writers from the old TV show might have taken a crack at the script here. With a little bit more care and imagination this could be essential viewing. As it is, it makes for a mindless way to spend a couple of hours.

REASONS TO SEE: Denzel is, as usual, a force of nature.
REASONS TO AVOID: The plot is a tad too predictable.
FAMILY VALUES: There is plenty of profanity, some occasional drug content and a lot of violence, some of it brutal
TRIVIAL PURSUIT: This was the first sequel for both Fuqua and Denzel.
BEYOND THE THEATERS: Amazon, AppleTV, Fandango Now, Google Play, Sling TV, Starz, Vudu, YouTube
CRITICAL MASS: As of 12/27/19: Rotten Tomatoes: 52% positive reviews: Metacritic:50/100
COMPARISON SHOPPING: The Punisher
FINAL RATING: 6/10
NEXT:
Dark Matter 2019 short