Literally, Right Before Aaron


Love makes grinning idiots of us all.

(2017) Romantic Comedy (Screen Media) Justin Long, Cobie Smulders, Ryan Hansen, John Cho, Kristen Schaal, Lea Thompson, Dana Delaney, Peter Gallagher, Luis Guzmán, Charlyne Yi, Vella Lovell, Ginger Gonzaga, Malcolm Barrett, Manu Intiraymi, Ivy George, Rick Overton, Adam Rose, Sam Hennings, Parvesh Cheena, Dov Tiefenbach, Ashley Platz. Directed by Ryan Eggold

 

When we are of a certain age, we have an idea of what The One is going to look like; you know, The One who is your partner for life, your dream man/woman, your other half. Not so much in the physical make-up but the kind of person he/she is. When we think we’ve found that person, the idea is to hold onto them with both hands. It never occurs to us that The One may turn out to be just The One We Thought Was The One.

Adam (Long) is getting over the break-up of an eight-year relationship with Allison (Smulders) when out of the blue, he gets a phone call from her inviting him to her wedding. She puts pressure on him to attend; “I’m going to be at yours so you HAVE to be at mine!” she wheedles. Despite the misgivings and urging to the contrary by friends/co-workers Mark (Cho) and Claire (Yi), he decides to head north to San Francisco and attend.

He meets Aaron (Hansen), the new man in Allison’s life whom she began dating immediately after the break-up and takes an immediate dislike to him. Adam is determined to win Allison back and will do just about anything to do it including lie to his own mother (Thompson) and do his best to remind Allison of what a good thing they had. As Allison herself said during one of (many) flashbacks to how they met, “I can’t decide if you’re charming or if you’re an asshole.”

Believe me, Allison, it’s the latter. This is a dreadfully unfunny romantic comedy in which cruelty and obsessive behavior substitutes for laughs. If someone were to do the things that Adam does in the movie, there’d be a restraining order in his immediate future, not an invitation to a wedding. There would also likely be the beatdown of a lifetime but I digress.

Long has made a career of being the sad sack romantic and he’s as good at it as John Cusack, whose mantle Long inherited, once was. He tries his best here to be likable and charming – and he’s capable of being both – but one is defined by their actions and Adam’s actions are self-centered to the point of narcissism, perhaps even to the point of being mentally unbalanced. I could see Adam going completely berserk, brandishing a gun and screaming at Allison “Love me! Or I’ll kill you!” And perhaps that would have been a more interesting movie. Still, it must also be said that Long is getting a bit long in the tooth for roles like this. I would like to see him take on some roles that have a bit more maturity to them. Hollywood casting being what it is, that might not happen anytime soon.

The movie is riddled with genre clichés and the plot is powered by characters doing things that no rational human being would ever do. I get that love can make you do crazy things, but Jeez Louise; I can’t imagine a psychologist witnessing this behavior without seriously pulling the committal papers out. This is lazy writing of the highest order.

Director Eggold, who is best known as the sinister Tom Keen on the hit TV show The Blacklist shows some of his rookie greenery with the choices he makes – he’ll get a 10-yard penalty for overuse of faded-out flashbacks that are meant to look like old home movies – but he also makes some good ones. Rarely have I seen San Francisco used as well as it is used here to really bring the tone of the city to life. Having lived in the Bay Area as long as I have, I felt a certain amount of nostalgia watching the movie and listening to Tony Bennett croon his signature “I Left My Heart (in San Francisco).” Kudos for that.

Kudos must also be given for assembling an impressive cast, although several of them – particularly Guzmán, Delaney and Thompson – are in the film for only a scene or two. I could have used a little more of these actors and a little less of Long who is in nearly every minute of the film. Not that Long can’t carry a film on his own, mind you – he just needed some better material to carry it with.

REASONS TO GO: Utilizes San Francisco to its fullest. The cast is impressive.
REASONS TO STAY: People acting like blithering idiots does not a comedy make. The film suffers from far too many rom-com clichés.
FAMILY VALUES: There is some profanity as well as some sexual references here.
TRIVIAL PURSUIT: The movie references the John Steinbeck classic Of Mice and Men and goes on to spoil the ending of the book.
BEYOND THE THEATERS: Amazon, Fandango Now, Google Play, iTunes, Vudu, YouTube
CRITICAL MASS: As of 10/4/17: Rotten Tomatoes: 31% positive reviews. Metacritic: 28/100.
COMPARISON SHOPPING: My Best Friend’s Wedding
FINAL RATING: 5/10
NEXT:
Walking Out

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New Releases for the Week of October 20, 2016


Jack Reacher: Never Go BackJACK REACHER: NEVER GO BACK

(Paramount) Tom Cruise, Cobie Smulders, Robert Knepper, Danika Yarosh, Aldis Hodge, Holt McCallany, Billy Slaughter, Madalyn Horcher. Directed by Edward Zwick

Former military investigator Jack Reacher returns as his close friend, now heading up his old unit, is arrested for treason. Knowing she’s innocent but unable to prove it, he breaks her out of prison and goes on the run, dead set on finding that proof. What he uncovers instead is a sinister conspiracy that reaches into the very heart of our government, and a secret from Reacher’s past that might have some implications in his current predicament.

See the trailer, clips, interviews, a promo and B-roll video here.
For more on the movie this is the website.

Release Formats: Standard
Genre: Action
Now Playing: Wide Release

Rating: PG-13 (for sequences of violence and action, some bloody images, language and thematic elements)

A Man Called Ove

(Music Box) Rolf Lassgärd, Bahar Pars, Tobias Almborg, Ida Engvoll. A poignant and delightful film about a lonely widower whose face to the world is of a grumpy curmudgeon, but whose tender heart is broken following the death of his beloved wife. Determined to join her in the hereafter, his attempts at suicide are thwarted by the unknowing interventions of a new neighbor who brings Ove back to life and give him new reasons to live. The review for this will be up tomorrow.

See the trailer here.
For more on the movie this is the website.

Release Formats: Standard
Genre: Dramedy
Now Playing: Enzian Theater

Rating: PG-13 (for thematic content, some disturbing images, and language)

Boo! A Madea Halloween

(Lionsgate) Tyler Perry, Cassi Davis, Bella Thorne, Patrice Lovely. The first Madea movie in three years finds America’s favorite granny fighting off psychos, poltergeists and all manner of ghouls and goblins while keeping a watchful eye on three rambunctious teens. The inspiration is said to come from a scene in Chris Rock’s Top Five in which the Rock character sees a line of people waiting to get in to a movie featuring Madea entitled Boo! In which she plays a badass ghost hunter.

See the trailer here.
For more on the movie this is the website.

Release Formats: Standard
Genre: Horror Comedy
Now Playing: Wide Release

Rating: PG-13 (for drug use and references, suggestive content, language, some horror images and thematic material)

I’m Not Ashamed

(Pure Flix) Masey McLain, Ben Davies, Cameron McKendry, Terri Minton. This is the story of Rachel Joy Scott, the first student to die at the hands of Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris in the 1999 Columbine High School massacre. The movie is taken from her journal entries, the recollections of her mother and surviving classmates.

See the trailer here.
For more on the movie this is the website.

Release Formats: Standard
Genre: Faith-Based Biographical Drama
Now Playing: AMC Altamonte Mall, AMC Disney Springs, Cinemark Artegon Marketplace, Regal Oviedo Mall, Regal Waterford Lakes

Rating: PG-13 (for thematic material, teen drinking and smoking, disturbing violent content and some suggestive situations)

Keeping Up With the Joneses

(20th Century Fox) Zach Galifianakis, Isla Fisher, Gal Gadot, Jon Hamm. An ordinary suburban couple find their lives being changed when a chic and sophisticated couple – the Joneses – move into their neighborhood. Well, it’s not so much that a chic and sophisticated couple moved into the neighborhood but that the Joneses happen to be covert operatives. Won’t that make the next block party fun!

See the trailer, interviews, clips and B-roll video here.
For more on the movie this is the website.

Release Formats: Standard
Genre: Spy Comedy
Now Playing: Wide Release

Rating: PG-13 (for sexual content, action/violence and brief strong language)

Miss Hokusai

(GKIDS) Starring the voices of Erica Lindbeck, Richard Epcar, Ezra Weisz, Robbie Daymond. One of the greatest artists Japan ever produced is Katsushika Hokusai. His life and art is seen through the eyes of his daughter O-Ei, whose needs were always secondary to his painting.

See the trailer here.
For more on the movie this is the website.

Release Formats: Standard
Genre: Anime
Now Playing: AMC Disney Springs, AMC Loew’s Universal Cineplex

Rating: PG-13 (for mature thematic material including sexual situations and images)

Ouija: Origin of Evil

(Universal) Annalise Basso, Elizabeth Reaser, Lin Shaye, Doug Jones. In 1965, a widow and her two daughters who run a séance scam decide to add a Ouija board to help bolster their business. Instead, they find that it is a portal to evil that takes over the youngest daughter. Now in a desperate situation with their lives and souls at stake, the eldest daughter and mother must find a way to send the possessing spirit back to the other side and save the girl who’s possessed.

See the trailer, interviews, clips and B-roll video here.
For more on the movie this is the website.

Release Formats: Standard
Genre: Horror
Now Playing: Wide Release

Rating: PG-13 (for disturbing images, terror and thematic elements)

The Pickle Recipe

(Adopt) Jon Dore, Lynn Cohen, Miriam Lee, David Paymer. After a disaster wipes out a party MC’s sound equipment, he reluctantly turns to his shady uncle for help. The uncle agrees to help him out – on the condition that the young man steals his grandmother’s prized pickle recipe which she has vowed to take with her to the grave.

See the trailer and a clip here.
For more on the movie this is the website.

Release Formats: Standard
Genre: Comedy
Now Playing: Regal Oviedo Mall, Regal Winter Park Village

Rating: PG-13 (for brief suggestive humor and drug references)

New Releases for the Week of July 24, 2015


Paper Towns

PAPER TOWNS

(20th Century Fox) Nat Wolff, Carla Delevingne, Austin Abrams, Justice Smith, Halston Sage, Jaz Sinclair, Cara Buono, Jay Duplass, Ansel Elgort. Directed by Jake Schreier

A high school boy, who has his future all mapped out, has a crush on a mysterious neighbor. When she climbs in his window one night, the two embark on an adventure he never would have conceived for himself in his somewhat ordered world. When she disappears the next morning, he realizes that he is meant to find her again. Bringing along his best friends and hers, they embark on a journey not just to find Margo but to find themselves as well. From the novel by John Green, author if The Fault in Our Stars. Yeah, I know there’s a bigger budget movie on this list but something tells me this is going to be the (not-so) surprise hit of the summer.

See the trailer, clips, interviews, a featurette and B-roll video here.
For more on the movie this is the website.
Release Formats: Standard (opens Thursday)
Genre: Drama
Now Playing: Wide Release
Rating: PG-13 (for some language, drinking, sexuality and partial nudity – all involving teens)

American Heist

(Lionsgate) Hayden Christensen, Adrien Brody, Jordana Brewster, Akon. Two brothers have gone down the path of lawlessness and have been caught committing a crime. When one of them takes the rap for it, the other struggles to turn his life around and get back on the straight and narrow. When his brother is released from prison, he turns to the brother whose freedom he protected for one last job to get him back on his feet after attempts to find legitimate work are fruitless. Can the two truly change their lives with one last score, or will it be the key for them to lose everything they both have?

See the trailer and clips here.
For more on the movie this is the website.
Release Formats: Standard
Genre: Crime Thriller
Now Playing: AMC Downtown Disney
Rating: R (for strong violence, pervasive language, some sexual material and brief drug use)

Dark Was the Night

(Image) Kevin Durand, Lukas Haas, Bianca Kajlich, Steve Agee. When a logging company awakens something that should have never been disturbed in the forest surrounding a small town, it is up to the sheriff and his trusted deputy to save the town and the loggers from the evil that now stalks them.

See the trailer here.
For more on the movie this is the website.
Release Formats: Standard
Genre: Horror
Now Playing: AMC Downtown Disney
Rating: NR

The Little Death

(Magnolia) Bojana Novakovic, Patrick Brammall, Josh Lawson, Damon Herriman. Five suburban couples living in Sydney cope with the various sexual fetishes that unite or sometimes divide them, and try to navigate the sometimes troubled waters of modern sexuality within the confines of relationships. This played the Florida Film Festival earlier this year and returns for a limited run at the Enzian (it is only playing at 9:30pm most nights).

See the trailer and a link to stream the full movie on Amazon here.
For more on the movie this is the website.
Release Formats: Standard
Genre: Sex Comedy
Now Playing: Enzian Theater
Rating: NR

Pixels

(Columbia) Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Peter Dinklage, Michelle Monaghan. When aliens who misinterpret a video feed of classic arcade games as a declaration of war against them, they attack the earth using the games as models for their various assaults. The President is forced to turn to his childhood friend, once a champion gamer back in the day, and other arcade legends to find a way to beat the aliens or else the human race will be annihilated.

See the trailer, clips, interviews, promos and featurettes here.
For more on the movie this is the website.
Release Formats: Standard, 3D, IMAX 3D (opens Thursday)
Genre: Sci-Fi Action Comedy
Now Playing: Wide Release
Rating: PG-13 (for some language and suggestive comments)

Southpaw

(Weinstein) Jake Gyllenhaal, Rachel McAdams, Forest Whitaker, 50 Cent. A middleweight champion boxer sees his life torn apart and thrown into disarray after a tragedy outside of the ring. Deserted by those he relied on, his daughter taken from him by child protective services, he turns to the crusty manager of an urban gym to find guidance and a way back not to glory necessarily, but to win back the trust of those he cares about the most. But glory would be nice, too.

See the trailer, clips and B-roll video here.
For more on the movie this is the website.
Release Formats: Standard (opens Thursday)
Genre: Sports Drama
Now Playing: Wide Release
Rating: R (for language throughout, and some violence)

Unexpected

(The Film Arcade) Colbie Smulders, Gail Bean, Anders Holm, Elizabeth McGovern. A teacher discovers that she is unexpectedly pregnant. At the same time, one of her most promising students also finds out she’s pregnant. Both women will forge an unlikely friendship as they try to navigate the difficulties of pregnancy even though they come from vastly different circumstances.

See the trailer and a clip here.
For more on the movie this is the website.
Release Formats: Standard
Genre: Dramedy
Now Playing: AMC Downtown Disney
Rating: NR

The Vatican Tapes

(Lionsgate) Michael Pena, Kathleen Robertson, Djimon Hounsou, Dougray Scott. When a woman is apparently possessed by something demonic, the Vatican is consulted and experts brought in. When the entity possessing the woman turns out to be far more evil, ancient and malignant than at first thought, one brave priest must stand up and fight not just for the soul of a single woman but for the fate of the entire world.

See the trailer, interviews and clips here.
For more on the movie this is the website.
Release Formats: Standard
Genre: Supernatural Horror
Now Playing: AMC Altamonte Mall, AMC Downtown Disney, AMC Loew’s Universal Cineplex, Regal The Loop, Regal Waterford Lakes
Rating: PG-13 (for disturbing violent content, and some sexual references)

New Releases for the Week of November 22, 2013


The Hunger Games-Catching Fire

THE HUNGER GAMES: CATCHING FIRE               

(Lionsgate) Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson, Liam Hemsworth, Woody Harrelson, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Donald Sutherland, Elizabeth Banks, Lenny Kravitz. Directed by Francis Lawrence

Katniss Everdeen’s victory in the 74th Hunger Games has made her not only a hero but an icon, a symbol that is becoming dangerous to the ruling class of Panem. While on her victory tour, a plan is hatched to see to it that she becomes an enemy of the people, a figure of hatred and revulsion. Katniss, however, has other ideas.

See the trailer, clips and a featurette here.

For more on the movie this is the website.

Release formats: Standard, IMAX (opens Thursday night)

Genre: Science Fiction

Rating: PG-13 (for intense sequences of violence and action, some frightening images, thematic elements, a suggestive situation and language)

Blue is the Warmest Color

(Sundance Selects) Adele Exarchopoulos, Lea Seydoux, Jeremie Laheurte, Catherine Salee. A 15-year-old French girl is determined to find out what all the fuss is about boys and sex in particular. She means to find the right one to take her virginity. However, her plans are thrown into disarray when she meets a free-spirited blue-haired woman who raises feelings in her she has never had to handle before now. Based on a French graphic novel, this was a huge but controversial hit at Sundance earlier this year.

See the trailer here.

For more on the movie this is the website.

Release formats: Standard

Genre: Drama

Rating: NC-17 (for explicit sexual content)

The Christmas Candle

(Echolight) Hans Matheson, Samantha Barks, Sylvester McCoy, John Hannah. In the tiny English town of Gladbury, there is a Christmas tradition in which an angel visits the village candlemaker each Christmas Eve and touches a single candle which grants to whomever lights it a miracle. But this is the turn of the 20th century after all and the new preacher has no time for such nonsense – in fact, it’s time to bring electricity to the church. However, the preacher – and the village – have no idea what kind of miracle is in store for them this Christmas. Based on the Max Lucado novel.

See the trailer here.

For more on the movie this is the website.

Release formats: Standard

Genre: Holiday Drama

Rating: PG (for mild thematic elements) 

The Delivery Man

(DreamWorks) Vince Vaughn, Chris Pratt, Colbie Smulders, Britt Robertson. David Wozniak is a habitual slacker who is pushing 40 and still doesn’t really have a clue what he wants to do with his life. When his girlfriend gets pregnant, he looks forward to being a father but she breaks up with him instead, realizing that he  won’t ever be father material. Realizing he has a lot of work to do, he is given the perfect opportunity – a snafu at a fertility clinic to which he had donated sperm years ago had caused him to be the biological father to 533 now-grown children. Based on the Florida Film Festival hit Starbuck.

See the trailer here.

For more on the movie this is the website.

Release formats: Standard

Genre: Comedy

Rating: PG-13 (for thematic elements, sexual content, some drug material, brief violence and language)

Gori Tere Pyaar Mein

(Reliance) Kareena Kapoor, Imran Khan, Anupam Khan, Shraddha Kapoor. A young architect is more interested in spending his father’s considerable fortune than he is in designing buildings. A chance encounter leads him to the realization that there is a lot more to life than having fun.

See the trailer and clips here.

For more on the movie this is the website.

Release formats: Standard

Genre: Bollywood

Rating: NR

Kill Your Darlings

(Sony Classics) Daniel Radcliffe, Dane DeHaan, Jack Huston, Elizabeth Olsen. In 1944, three young men and aspiring writers would meet at Columbia University. Their lives would be permanently entwined by their words – and also by a murder that took place that would lead to a new Beat that reverberates through American society to this day. Meet Jack Kerouac, Allen Ginsberg and William S. Burroughs.

See the trailer and clips here.

For more on the movie this is the website.

Release formats: Standard

Genre: True Life Drama

Rating: R (for sexual content, language, drug use and brief violence)