The Novice

Practice makes perfect.

(2021) Drama (IFC) Isabelle Fuhrmann, Amy Forsyth, Dilone, Jonathan Cherry, Kate Drummond, Charlotte Ubben, Sage Irvine, Chantelle Bishop, Jeni Ross, Nikki Duval, Eve Kanyo, Al Bernstein, Robert Ifedi, David Guthrie. Directed by Lauren Hadaway

 

There is a fine line between determination to attain a goal, and obsession. Determination is to be admired; it requires discipline and self-sacrifice. Obsession, though, is terrifying to behold; all logic and reason go out the window in a single-minded quest to achieve that goal, regardless of the cost.

Alex Dall (Fuhrmann) is a college freshman in an unnamed Northeastern university who is majoring in physics – which is not only not her best subject but it is, in fact, her worst. She is on a full ride scholarship, but she works like a demon, taking tests over and over (and sometimes, over) again in a  quest to be the very best. On apparent impulse, she signs up to try out for the novice rowing team.

Alex has absolutely no experience in rowing, nor does she have any in any sport at all. Her body is soft and non-muscular; this would seem to be a lark – except Alex is determined not only to make the novice team but also the varsity. Only two novices are selected by the easygoing Coach Pete (Cherry) to try out for the varsity; naturally gifted athlete Jamie Brill (Forsyth) and Alex.

There she is greeted by derisive and often profane criticisms, and overhears the praise given to Jamie, which inspires her to work harder. On the ERG (stationary rowing) machines, she takes the instructions given to her by Coach Pete – “legs, body, arms, arms, body, legs” – as a kind of a mantra, working out often to the point of retching. She develops sores on her hands, ribs and thighs – some self-inflicted – from her workouts. Her work ethic impresses Head Coach Edwards (Drummond) but her manic attitude serves to turn off most of her fellow rowers, although Jamie and pretty teachers assistant Dani (fashion model turned actress Dilone) who try to figure out the complicated Alex, who perhaps doesn’t know herself what drives her, although later evidence proves that she does and it is revealed to the audience, although I won’t get into it here. But as Alex’s drive descends into mania, her body and mind begin to show dangerous signs of cracking.

First-time feature director Hadaway turns to the director’s chair after a fine career as a sound editor, and bases her debut on her own experiences as a collegiate rower, which lends a good deal of realism and authenticity to the film. There have been films about rowing before – Varsity Blues comes to mind – but few films on obsessive goal-seeking have reached the heights of this one.

Part of the reason is Fuhrmann, who turns in a performance that is already attracting attention. Don’t be surprised if you start seeing her up for major roles in important movies in the next couple of years; she absolutely dominates the screen and has some really nice chemistry with Forsyth. Cinematographer Todd Martin also does some innovative work here, although from time to time Hadaway tends to get a bit cutesy with her framing and camera effects, a sin that first-time directors often commit. When those things happen, we are drawn out of the story and aware that there is someone directing – and there’s no better way to kill a cinematic mood than that.

The Novice has already been nominated for five Independent Spirit awards and Fuhrmann has an outside shot at an Oscar nomination, although she’ll have an uphill battle to get one. This is one of those indie films that isn’t always a pleasure to watch – but when the end credits begin, you are left with the realization you have just watched a terrific movie. This is one you won’t want to miss.

REASONS TO SEE: Fuhrmann gives a career-establishing performance. The cinematography is innovative.
REASONS TO AVOID: Occasionally succumbs to temptation to get too artsy, pulling us out of the story.
FAMILY VALUES: There is profanity, some disturbing images and a bit of sexual content.
TRIVIAL PURSUIT: Won best American Narrative Feature at the 2021 Telluride Film Festival, where it made its world premiere.
BEYOND THE THEATERS: Amazon, AppleTV, DirecTV, Google Play, Microsoft, Spectrum, Vudu, Xfinity, YouTube
CRITICAL MASS: As of 12/19/21: Rotten Tomatoes: 96% positive reviews; Metacritic: 83/100.
COMPARISON SHOPPING: Whiplash
FINAL RATING: 7.5/10
NEXT: 8-Bit Christmas

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An Amityville Poltergeist

Parris Bates is feeling blue.

(2020) Horror (Breaking Glass) Parris Bates, Rebecca Kimble, Conor Austin, Airisa Durand, Jon Ashley Hall, Natalie Lucia (voice), Calvin Morie McCarthy, Alex Onda, Jason Reynolds, Sydney Winbush. Directed by Calvin Morie McCarthy

 

Making a movie is no easy task. It is a collaborative effort, requiring many hands of talented technicians, imaginative creative people and of course wonderful actors. Movie sets can be a battleground where egos run rampant, or a carnival where the absurd reigns supreme. Sometimes, a movie set can be incredible fun when everything is clicking. They can also be unbridled chaos when everything is not.

Jim (Bates) is a college student who, like most college students, is in dire need of an infusion of cold, hard cash. His best friend, stoner Collin (Austin) recommends he sell his own blood plasma which neelde-phobic Jim is loathe to do, Instead, he gets a job housesitting for $500 a day, which seems a little excessive for sitting around the house. It sure beats working.

However, the elderly homeowner, Eunice (Kimble) warns Jim that she’s not concerned with people breaking in to the old house. She’s much more worried about what’s already inside. As her son (Hall) takes her away for a brief hospitalization, one wonders if the old lady might better be served with a different kind of hospital. However, as Jim starts to hear inexplicable noises, he realizes the old lady might not be as crazy as she sounds – and as the incidents grow more frightening and more violnt, he also realizes that $500 per night was way not worth it.

I have to be honest; I’m generally a sucker for a good haunted house movie. This isn’t one. For one thing, I have to admit that I was not thrilled that the movie has nothing whatsoever to do with the Amityville franchise – it’s not even set there – and there isn’t a poltergeist in the film (not really). Then again, if truth in advertising laws were applied to movie marketing, there’d be a lot of Hollywood executives with criminal records.

For some reason, the filmmakers filmed the movie as if it were filmed in perpetual twilight. Even the scenes set at night have a bluish tinge to them, like the only lighting came from a TV screen. The film photo above isn’t from a brief moment in the film – the entire movie is lit like that. I don’t know if it was a conscious decision to do that or sheer incompetence, but either way, I suspect most will get tired of the effect and tune out quickly. If the lighting doesn’t get you, though, the writing will. The plot is difficult to follow with way too many flashbacks, and while I’m guessing the screenwriters (Hall, who played the son, and McCarthy, who directed, co-wrote the script) were trying to blur the line between dreams and reality, they blurred it a little too much and after awhile I wouldn’t be surprised if some give up on the film long before the final credits run.

That isn’t to say that the movie is entirely without merit. The makeup effects by Zach Smith are pretty good, and Parris Bates has some potential, although his character is a bit on the whiny side. But the movie feels awfully amateurish, and while horror fans tend to be a bit more forgiving about such things, they do require some big scares and there just aren’t any.

I take no joy out of savaging a film like this. Generally, I wouldn’t run a review for a movie I disliked as much as this one because I generally feel that making a movie requires passion and commitment and I don’t doubt that the filmmakers have both of those things, and as I said, there are some redeeming features here so it isn’t entirely a waste of your time, but if you’re looking for a real good haunted house movie, there are just too many excellent ones out there (including The Amityville Horror and Poltergeist as well as literally dozens of fine indie budget films) to make it easy to recommend this at all.

REASONS TO SEE: Bates has a certain amount of appeal.
REASONS TO AVOID: Underlit throughout with a curiously blue tint. Poorly acted and terribly written.
FAMILY VALUES: There is plenty of profanity, some nudity, a fair amount of drug use and violence.
TRIVIAL PURSUIT: Director McCarthy makes a cameo appearance as a pizza delivery guy early in the film.
BEYOND THE THEATER: Amazon, AppleTV, Fandango Now, Google Play, Microsoft, YouTube
CRITICAL MASS: As of 5/31/21: Rotten Tomatoes: No score yet; Metacritic: No score yet.
COMPARISON SHOPPING: The Turning
FINAL RATING: 3/10
NEXT: The Mitchells vs. the Machines

Take Out Girl

It’s not easy scratching a living in the mean streets.

(2020) Drama (1091) Hedy Wong, Ski Carr, Lynna Yee, J. Teddy Garces, Lorin Alond Ly, Dijon Talton, Mier Chasin, Lizette Hunter, Joe Rudy Guerrero Jr., Tony Bentajado, Cole Bernstein, Melissa Del Rosario, Adia Bell, Collin Hayes, Zavieh Harrell, Veronica Mitsuk, Marilyn Simon, Caslin Rose, Tania Nolan, Crystal Powell, Jody Marie. Directed by Hisonni Mustafa

 

Life is hard, particularly in neighborhoods that are not affluent. It seems like the game is rigged for those who already have all the money they could ever need and those who are just trying to get out of poverty and make a decent life for themselves have little to no chance at succeeding at that worthy goal.

Some just give up, but that’s not how Tera Wong (Wong) is wired. She is a born fighter, bred to take crap from nobody, and raised in an environment where you have to stand up for yourself or face being knocked down over and over again. That’s life in the bottom of South Central. She’s gone to college to learn business to better take care of her mother’s failing Chinese restaurant, but has withdrawn from school as she realizes that she is needed at the restaurant more.

Her mom (Yee) is bone-weary, suffering from a back injury she can’t afford to get fixed up – or even get decent pain meds for. She can’t even afford to take time away from work to rest her back. It’s a grim catch-22 that makes Tera, and her gang-banging brother Saren (Ly) angry and frustrated. Cousin Crystal (Chasin) also works at the restaurant, although her outlook is a little more optimistic. In the meantime, Tera knows all the side hustles in the world won’t elevate this restaurant out of the gutter, where she and her family seem destined to reside.

Then while out delivering, she crosses paths with Lalo (Carr), a local drug dealer. He seems to take a shine to Tera, who calls him on his crap, much to the disgust of Lalo’s enforcer Hector (Garces) and Girl Friday Chuey (Hunter). That’s when Tera hits upon an idea; she can run drugs for Lalo without ever being given a second glance. Most of Lalo’s runners affect a look right out of a gangsta rap video, almost asking for the cops to keep a wary eye out for them. Who would give a cute Chinese girl a second glance?

At first things work out better than Tera could have dreamed as finally she’s making enough money to help her mom in a concrete way. However, there is always a price to pay for walking on that side of the street and as tough as Tera may be, that bill will come due and sooner rather than later.

Urban crime dramas concerning unlikely people getting involved in the drug trade are nothing new; there are even several about Asian women getting caught up in drug distribution, some fairly recent. Few have had as electrifying a performance as the one delivered here by Hedy Wong to fall back on. Wong, who co-wrote the movie based on her own experiences in the San Francisco Bay Area, plays a young woman who has learned to keep the walls up and the defenses on high alert. Her stiff posture, with the baseball cap slung low over her eyes, her lips tight in a kind of cupid-bow pout with a hard edge on it tell you all you need to know about the character. She is seemingly fearless – until you look closer. Her eyes sometimes betray the fact that she’s in over her head and knows it.

Her hard edges might make it difficult to identify with the character early on; when someone mutters “bitch” under their breath after an interaction with her, you can’t help but agree. But that’s not her whole story, and as the movie unspools you begin to see deeper into a character who has had to become hard out of necessity.

The dialogue is meant to be gritty and snappy, but it comes off as a bit cliché. Also, while the movie starts off compelling, it seems to lose its way about halfway through and finishes with a sputter rather than a roar, utilizing an ending that feels rushed and unearned. You may well lose interest by that time; I just about did, although the final twist would have been a good one if the filmmakers had taken the time to develop the ending a little more. In other words, if they had given as much care to the ending as to the beginning this might have been a much more solid film, but you end up feeling like you watched half a movie by the time the end credits roll.

REASONS TO SEE: Starts out as a compelling urban drama.
REASONS TO AVOID: Loses steam and peters out at the end.
FAMILY VALUES: There’s plenty of profanity along with drug references and drug use.
TRIVIAL PURSUIT: Although meant to portray downtown Los Angeles, the movie was actually filmed in nearby Riverside.
BEYOND THE THEATERS: Amazon, AppleTV, DirecTV, Fandango Now, Google Play, Microsoft, Vudu, YouTube
CRITICAL MASS: As of 5/25/21: Rotten Tomatoes: 60% positive reviews; Metacritic: No score yet.
COMPARISON SHOPPING: Mr. Nice
FINAL RATING: 5/10
NEXT: Citizen Penn

Days of the Whale (Los dias de la ballena)

Taking it to the streets.

(2019) Drama (Outsider) Laura Tobón Ochoa, David Escallón Orrego, Carlos Fonnegra, Christian Táppan, Julian Giraldo, Diego Alejandro Samacá, Margarita Celene Restrepo, Valeria Castaño, Fajardo. Directed by Catalina Arroyave Restrepo

Art is a universal, something that reaches across cultural and social lines, be they class distinctions, or international borders. What makes film so universal is that we can often recognize the same issues that we ourselves face or have faced while watching those who live thousands of miles from us undergo the same tribulations.

Cris (Ochoa) and Simon (Orrego) are about as disparate as you can get; Cris is a college student from a well-off family. She lives with her father (Táppan), who has remarried a much younger woman (Fajardo) who doesn’t get along well with Cris, who isn’t much younger than her stepmom. Her actual mom (M. Restrepo), an investigative journalist, has had to flee to Spain after running afoul of the local criminal gang that runs the streets of Medellin, Colombia where Cris and her dad live.

Simon is from a working-class family; he is close to his grandmother who tolerates his frequent absences and always has a home-cooked meal at the ready for him. Both Simon and Cris spend a lot of their time in an art collective run by Lucas (Fonnegra). The same gang that ran off Cris’ mother is extorting protection money from the collective as they are from most of the small businesses in the area. Simon, something of a risk-taker, goes out at night as a graffiti artist, using Medellin as his canvas.

At first, Cris goes out with him to paint as well, but their platonic relationship grows closer and more intimate. As that occurs, the collective, unable to pay the protection money, is getting sinister messages spray painted on the wall across the street from their front door. Simon, who once ran with some of the boys in the gang, decides to paint over the warning and put up a mural of a whale to cover it. Cris, much more cautious as she has seen first-hand just how vicious the gang can be, urges him to back off, but that’s not in Simon’s vocabulary. Whether you consider his actions to be bravery or bravado, those actions will have consequences.

I debated summarizing the plot because it might lead you to believe that this is a crime thriller, and it is far from that. The movie is about the coming of age of Cris and Simon, and of their budding relationship. There is a sweetness between the two, a shy awkwardness that goes with two young people exploring feelings that they’ve never had before, but this isn’t exploitative in the least either – while most American coming-of-age films tend to be more raunchy recently than in the past, this one is more gentle.

Most of the cast are not professionals and while the down side of that is that inexperience can sometimes lead to poor acting choices, there is also a naturalness to the performances that is appealing, particularly in Ochoa who like many Latin women her age, seem to have absolutely no clue how incredibly gorgeous they are.

The ending was a little unrealistic to my thinking; criminal gangs are not noted for their forgiving nature and while there are some tense moments, the resolution felt a little too fairy tale-like. But then again, I don’t think Restrepo is going for gritty realism here; she is capturing feelings and situations that are common to most of us even if the situation is uncommon. Most of us don’t live our lives controlled by criminal gangs.

Even so, this is an impressive debut and although it hasn’t made much of a splash in terms of buzz on the indie circuit, it is well worth your effort to look into it. One of the silver linings of the pandemic is that films like this are getting more widespread exposure as this one gets a Virtual Cinematic release. Florida theaters benefiting from VOD rentals include the Tropic Cinema in Key West and the Tallahassee Film Society. Click on the Virtual Cinematic Experience link below for a complete list of theaters that are running the movie on demand – if there isn’t a theater near you on the list, you might choose another theater deserving of your support. It’s a win-win for you in any case.

REASONS TO SEE: The performances are pretty much natural and well-received.
REASONS TO AVOID: The ending is a little too Hollywood for my taste.
FAMILY VALUES: There is drug use, profanity, some violence and sexual references.
TRIVIAL PURSUIT: This is the first feature for Catalina Restrepo.
BEYOND THE THEATERS: Virtual Cinematic Experience
CRITICAL MASS: As of 7/28/20: Rotten Tomatoes: 100% positive reviews, Metacritic: 72/100
COMPARISON SHOPPING: Savages
FINAL RATING: 7.5/10
NEXT: The Photographer of Malthausen

Lazar

A tearful embrace.

(2015) Crime Drama (108 Media) Vedran Zivolic, Natasha Petrovic, Dejan Lilic, Goran Navojec, Violeta Sapkovska, Krassimira Kuzmanova, Vlado Jovanovski, Alexander Sano, Ivo Zhelev, Toni Mihajlovski, Ivica Mojsovski, Kiril Anastasov, Igor Angelov, Goran Trifunovski, Bereda Reshit, Vladimir Tuliev, Aleksandra Balmazovic, Mitko Apostolovski, Zorica Stojanovska. Directed by Svetozar Ristovski

 

As the world’s filmmakers are beginning to turn out some truly respectable films, sometimes you find some gems from unexpected places. I know nothing about the Macedonian film industry but after having seen this crime drama from that country, perhaps a little more investigation might be in order.

Lazar (Zivolic) is a young man who works for a gruff criminal named Miki (Navojec). Miki makes a lucrative living smuggling illegal aliens from the Middle East into the European Union. Lazar is pretty much his right hand man in this operation, distracting local policemen by speeding past their patrol cars and then putting on a drunken show while the caravan carrying the illegal immigrants moves undisturbed past the place just vacated by the cop.

Lazar makes enough to support his family, but for his brother-in-law Toni (Lilic) there’s also a pride issue involved; he needs to support his own family. Somewhat reluctantly, Lazar gets him a job as a driver for Miki. Lazar, however, isn’t really paying much attention to this; he’s met a vivacious young student named Katerina (Petrovic) and the dead-eyed young criminal is slowly being brought back to life. The two move in together and Lazar decides that the life he’s been leading needs to stop. He wants a normal life with Katerina.

Miki is skeptical when Lazar tells him he wants to go to school and leave the organization but he convinces Lazar to fulfill his obligations until a replacement can be found; maybe Kona (Sano), who seems to be smart and tough enough to handle it. Lazar is getting increasingly unreliable which is making Miki somewhat upset, particularly when it appears that Lazar’s absence could end up costing Miki a very lucrative alliance with a Greek counterpart. Lazar comes up with what seems to be a satisfactory solution, but it leads to a major screw-up that leaves Lazar and Toni in an impossible situation.

I’ve gotta say that Zivolic has the dead-eye look down pat. His character starts off surly and sullen and somewhat unpleasant but as his relationship with Katerina deepens, we begin to see cracks in the tough guy facade. There is an awful lot of posturing to the point of occasional distraction by all the criminal element in the movie but the essence of the story is sound.

The movie has the same kind of vibe as some classic crime dramas from the 80s and 90s, which is a very good thing indeed. I was reminded of gritty thrillers like To Live and Die in L.A. among others, just in tone mind you. The plots are not at all similar.

Ristovski does a lot with a little which is encouraging. The movie isn’t super original in terms of plot but it is nonetheless effective in telling the story and creating a mood. The actors, particularly Zivolic and Petrovic, do some strong work and the romance between Katerina and Lazar is believable, the chemistry genuine.

This is a nice little gem which overcomes an ending that was pretty disappointing but until it gets to that point gives us a surprisingly good time. This might be a little difficult to find; it’s supposed to be on iTunes, Amazon, Google Play and Vudu but I could find it on none of those services when I went looking for it. Keep an eye out for it however; it should be on a streaming service soon and once it is should be sought out by any crime movie lover with a flair for the global.

REASONS TO GO: The film packs the vibe of an 80s thriller – a very good thing. A pretty decent sense of suspense is developed.
REASONS TO STAY: There are a few mob/crime movie clichés here.
FAMILY VALUES: There is some profanity, some drug use, a bit of violence, some sexuality and brief nudity.
TRIVIAL PURSUIT: Ristovski also directed Dear Mr. Gacy.
CRITICAL MASS: As of 6/11/17: Rotten Tomatoes: No score yet. Metacritic: No score yet.
COMPARISON SHOPPING: Drive
FINAL RATING: 7/10
NEXT: Phoenix Forgotten

Forev

This road trip is no picnic.

(2013) Comedy (Gravitas) Noel Wells, Matt Mider, Amanda Bauer, Timmy L’Hereux, Chuck McCarthy, Dominic DeVore, Gina Gallego, Timothy Charlton, Gary G. “Thang” Johnson, Barb Mackerer, Hunter Hill, Pedro Lopez, Logan Strobel, Naaman Esquivel, Connor Morris, Marian McGinnis, Jon Katz, Chris Merchant, Kate Johnson. Directed by Molly Green and James Leffler

When you’re young, it isn’t necessarily a bad thing to be impulsive. If you think about things too much, you lose the moment and miss out on some fairly amazing experiences. Of course, if you think about things, you might actually save yourself from some pretty sorry situations.

Pete (Mider) is minding his own business, eating pizza in his apartment after a hard day’s work when who barges in but his neighbor Sophie (Wells), an actress. However, she doesn’t realize she’s barged in – she’s too busy making out passionately with her hookup du jour and thinks she’s in her own apartment. After Pete clears his throat, HDJ heads into the bathroom and Sophie hears him tell his friends he’ll be joining them in about 15 minutes after he’s done. Sophie decides that’s an offer that she can pretty much pass up without a problem.

After an audition for a hot dog commercial doesn’t go as well as she might have hoped, she decides to hang out with Pete whom she knows only marginally. His carpet is quite comfortable as it turns out and she is loathe to leave it. Pete says offhandedly “Since you’re going to be here anyway, we might as well get married.” I know, lame, right? Still from such small acorns mighty oaks may grow.

Sadly for Sophie, Pete has to run an errand and Sophie decides to tag along. The errand turns out to be a six hour drive from L.A. to Phoenix to pick up Pete’s sister Jess (Bauer) from college. On the way there, to a killer indie rock soundtrack, Pete and Sophie decide Pete’s marriage proposal wasn’t a bad idea at all. Voila, they’re engaged!

Jess is rightfully incredulous at her brother’s newfound relationship status and incredulity grows into downright hostility when she discovers how long the happy couple have been together. Jess, who was been in a relationship with a promising baseball player whom Pete worshipped for awhile, also has a relationship status change of her own – she’s gone from “involved” to “it’s complicated” to “single.” It’s times like these when you really need Facebook to let everyone know what’s going on.

A previous mishap involving an armadillo leads to the proverbial car breakdown in the desert, stranding them in a town so small that even the one horse has grown bored and hitchhiked to L.A. Sophie gets the surprising news that she got the part in the commercial after all and has to be in L.A. in two days to shoot it. When Pete gets into a fight with a local hitting on his fiancée (after said fiancée eggs him on) , Pete and Sophie head back to the hotel for some awkward cuddling while Jess finds herself a bearded guy to hang out with. When she doesn’t come back to the hotel room, Pete and Sophie go on a desperate search, the clock ticking on Sophie’s job all the while.

If you see enough independent films, you are going to find this not only familiar but downright “been there done that.” It has enough indie clichés to fill a hipster film festival; the cute couple acting zany and childish, the indie rock soundtrack that substitutes for a Greek chorus, the young people at least one of whom is an artist marching to their own drummer and so on. Throw in the clichés of modern romantic comedies and you have a case of cliché overload.

The young cast is actually quite good and have some decent chemistry – Mider and Wells both attended the University of Texas with the co-directors, so they have known each other awhile. That serves them well in terms of their banter and interaction. The script relies heavily on charm and has its share of funny moments.

The biggest problem here is that after awhile you start feeling the distinct need to stand up in your seat, shake your fist at the screen and scream at the top of your lungs “REAL PEOPLE DON’T ACT THIS WAY!!!” And they don’t. Personally, I think the film would have been far more effective if they’d chosen instead to make the whole marriage thing a running joke between Sophie and Pete which gradually becomes something real. Instead, you get the sense that these are two dim bulbs who think that marriage and relationships leading to marriage are something so easy you can just snap your fingers and it happens. Jess gets it but you get the sense that she’s a lone voice crying in the wilderness. Thus.

I do think Green and Leffler have some decent instincts but they need to find their own voice. The movie relies too much on established indie moves, so much so that the few moves of its own that it shows are kind of lost in the shuffle. A movie like this one hits the target more readily if you can recognize the characters in it. Instead, we get the hoary old indie song and dance about 20-something hipsters trying to impress somebody with how spontaneous they are. I get that I sound like a “Get off My Lawn, you young punks” critic but I don’t have a problem with spontaneity or young people – I have a problem with those elements in a movie are not given enough thought or depth to make the movie resonate better.

Incidentally, the movie remains on the festival circuit for the time being. A VOD and home video release has been scheduled. You can pre-order the movie on DVD/Blu-Ray beginning on May 1 by clicking on the photo which will take you to the movie’s website.

REASONS TO GO: Some decent laughs. Attractive leads with lots of potential.

REASONS TO STAY: Too many indie-cute clichés. Characters not acting like real people. Predictable

FAMILY VALUES: Some foul language and sexuality.

TRIVIAL PURSUIT: Wells joined the cast of Saturday Night Live this season as a featured player.

CRITICAL MASS: As of 4/10/14: Rotten Tomatoes

FINAL RATING: 5/10

NEXT: Doomsdays