Creature (2011)


Creature

Sid Haig keeps mementos from his stripping career.

(2010) Horror (The Bubble Factory) Mehcad Brooks, Serinda Swan, Sid Haig, Dillon Casey, Lauren Schneider, Aaron Hill, Amanda Fuller, Wayne Pere, David Jensen, Pruitt Taylor Vince, Daniel Bernhardt, Jennifer Lynn Warren, Rebekah Kennedy. Directed by Fred Andrews

Some movies try to appeal to as broad an audience as possible while other movies go after a very specific audience. This is one of the latter. If you don’t like monster movies of the late 70s and 80s, just move along. You won’t find much to admire here.

A group of friends are taking a road trip to New Orleans and are taking a backwoods route to get there. They stop at a convenience store in the middle of nowhere for a bathroom break and to replenish the beer supply. Oscar (Casey) is intrigued by a little shrine to a local legend, a creature that is half man, half gator named Lockjaw. The establishment’s proprietor Chopper (Haig) explains that the cabin where the creature lived as a human is still around and gives them directions. Of course, you know they’re going to go.

We have a couple of ex-Marines in the group, including  the over-protective brother Randy (Hill) his girlfriend Beth (Fuller), his sister Emily (Swan), her boyfriend (the other ex-Marine) Niles (Brooks) and Oscar’s sister Karen (Schneider). Throw in a trio of redneck trailer trash for good measure and you’ve got a party.

Of course, what’s a party without a monster to crash it? And what’s a monster without a town hiding a secret to support it? And what’s a movie like this without lots of bare breasts, bloodletting and a really bad monster suit?

This is a lot of cheesy good fun. Those who loved movies like Humanoids of the Deep and The Pit are going to love this. It’s not going to win any acting awards, nor is it going to change your life. It’s just about having a good time in a dark theater (or on your couch) without expending a whole lot of brain power.

Most of the women get topless at one time or another (other than Swan) and almost all of them have some sort of sex scene, which is about par for the course. The men are plenty hunky enough and get chewed up and spit out in all sorts of enjoyable ways by the rubber suited predator. Oddly enough, almost nobody gets eaten – except for the prologue.

This isn’t rocket science and it isn’t lobotomy-inducing either. The movie sets out to be a certain kind of movie and it more than achieves its modest goals. For those who wish there were more movies like this out there, be sure and rent it when it comes out on DVD/Blu-Ray – or better still buy it so you can slo-mo through the bouncing boobies and bloody carnage to your hearts delight.

REASONS TO GO: Sid Haig an B-movie monster goodness.

REASONS TO STAY: Confusing plot and been-there-done-that story. Cheesy monster suit.

FAMILY VALUES: Plenty of gore and creature violence, some sexuality, a lot of nudity (especially for these PC times), a bit of drug use and of course, lots of cuss words.

TRIVIAL PURSUIT: One of two movies that was distributed by Miramax whose release was delayed due to the purchase of the company by Colony Capital. The company eventually made a distribution deal with Focus.

HOME OR THEATER: Mostly gone from theaters now so I’d definitely go the home video route.

FINAL RATING: 5/10

TOMORROW: It’s Kind of a Funny Story

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New Releases for the Week of September 9, 2011


CONTAGION

(Warner Brothers) Matt Damon, Marion Cotillard, Kate Winslet, Jude Law, Laurence Fishburne, Gwyneth Paltrow, Bryan Cranston, Jennifer Ehle, Sanaa Lathan, John Hawkes, Elliott Gould. Directed by Steven Soderbergh

An innocent cough turns into a global pandemic as the U.S. Center for Disease Control and Prevention tries to get a handle on a rapidly mutating virus that seems to anticipate their every attempt to come up with a cure. In the meantime, fear and paranoia turn out to be nearly as deadly as the virus itself.

See the trailer, clips and interviews here.

For more on the movie this is the website.

Release formats: Standard, IMAX

Genre: Medical Thriller

Rating: PG-13 (for disturbing content and some language)

Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star

(Columbia) Nick Swardson, Christina Ricci, Don Johnson, Stephen Dorff. A somewhat dorky slacker in the heart of the Midwest discovers to his shock that his conservative parents used to be porn stars back in the 70s. Believing this to be his genetically-imposed destiny, he heads to Hollywood to follow in their footsteps despite lacking certain…equipment. Adam Sandler produced this so send your cards and letters to him.

See the trailer here.

For more on the movie this is the website.

Release formats: Standard

Genre: Sex Comedy

Rating: R (for pervasive crude sexual content, language and some nudity)

Creature

(The Bubble Factory) Mehcad Brooks, Serinda Swan, Amanda Fuller, Sid Haig. A group of young people on a road trip to New Orleans stop at a roadside convenience store for supplies and learn about the legend of a creature that is half man, half alligator. They decide to check it out for themselves, only to discover that the legend is real – and the creature is not even the worst aspect of it.

See the trailer, promos and clips here.

For more on the movie this is the website.

Release formats: Standard

Genre: Horror

Rating: R (for bloody violence, grisly images, some sexual content, graphic nudity, language and drug use)

Higher Ground

(Sony Classics) Vera Farmiga, Joshua Leonard, Bill Irwin, Donna Murphy. A woman finds herself coming to terms with her love relationships in the 1960s as part of a spiritual community and trying to balance that against her own burgeoning feminism. This is also the directing debut of Farmiga.

See the trailer and clips here.

For more on the movie this is the website.

Release formats: Standard

Genre: Drama

Rating: R (for some language and sexual content)

Kevin Hart: Laugh at My Pain

(CODEBLACK) Kevin Hart, Na’im Lynn. Comedian Kevin Hart’s recent comedy tour smashed box office records for African-American comedians held for more than twenty years by Eddie Murphy. There are those who say that he is the funniest stand-up comedian working in the field today and this movie aims to present evidence to that effect.

See the trailer here.

For more on the movie this is the website.

Release formats: Standard

Genre: Comedy Documentary

Rating: NR

Terri

(ATO) John C. Reilly, Jacob Wysocki, Creed Bratton, Olivia Crocicchia. Yet another Florida Film Festival entry that Da Queen and I were unable to fit into our schedule, this moving and yet funny indie film follows a plus-sized teen who forges a relationship with a well-meaning yet often inept vice-principal. As things progress, he begins to find a little bit of the inner man he is to become even as he sheds his own self-image.

See the trailer and clips here.

For more on the movie this is the website.

Release formats: Standard

Genre: Dramedy

Rating: R (for sexual content, language and some drug and alcohol use, all involving teens)

Warrior

(Lionsgate) Joel Edgerton, Tom Hardy, Nick Nolte, Jennifer Morrison. Two brothers, driven apart years earlier, find themselves on a collision course in the biggest winner-take-all event in Mixed Martial Arts history. Each is doing it for different reasons – one for redemption, the other to save his family from financial ruin. Neither is expected to get there – and they must both confront their own demons if they are to win and become the warrior they have within them.

See the trailer, a clip and a music video here.

For more on the movie this is the website.

Release formats: Standard

Genre: Sports Drama

Rating: PG-13 (for sequences of intense mixed martial arts fighting, some language and thematic material)