Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation

Don’t you want to take me on a sea cruise?

(2018) Animated Feature (Columbia) Starring the voices of Adam Sandler, Andy Samberg, Selena Gomez, Kevin James, David Spade, Steve Buscemi, Mel Brooks, Fran Drescher, Molly Shannon, Keegan-Michael Key, Jim Gaffigan, Kathryn Hahn, Joe Jonas, Chrissy Teigen, Tara Strong, Chris Parnell, Asher Blinkoff, Genndy Tartakovsky, Aaron LaPlante, Michelle Murdocca. Directed by Genndy Tartakovsky

 

The Cartoon Network has done the world a disservice. Yes, some of the things that they have put out are actually pretty good, but the majority of their output is poorly animated and dumbed down, treating kids like easily distracted morons rather than actual people. Sadly, that tendency has begun to filter into major studio animated features as well as studios are looking for franchises that they can market and merchandise out the yin-yang.

Dracula (Sandler), proprietor of the monsters’ resort Hotel Transylvania is lonely and tired. His beloved daughter Mavis (Gomez) notices and decides to book a family vacation on a monster cruise ship. There Drac finds love with Ericka (Hahn), captain of the vessel but she is hiding a secret that might just destroy Dracula once and for all. Never mind that; at least the gang is all there with him for the fun.

The animation here is much improved over the first two films in the franchise; it is certainly the best of the series so far. Sadly, the script doesn’t keep pace; it is just as predictable and lowbrow as other kid flicks that have dominated the big screen of late. The sad fact is that Pixar and Illumination have shown that animated features can appeal to both adults and kids. Most adults will probably be better off finding something else to distract them while the kids are watching this.

There is an air of finality about this one; I think that it was initially intended to be the last in the series but Sony has scheduled a fourth installment for December 2021. I hope that the animation is as good or better as this one but that they put a little more effort into writing a script that has a bit more heart and a bit less fart jokes.

REASONS TO SEE: The animation is better-than-average.
REASONS TO AVOID: Kids will love this; parents, not so much.
FAMILY VALUES: There is some fairly rude humor.
TRIVIAL PURSUIT: Some of the names of the ships in the Bermuda Triangle sequence are the names of ships that reportedly disappeared there in reality.
BEYOND THE THEATERS: Amazon, AppleTV, Fandango Now, Google Play, Netflix, Vudu, YouTube
CRITICAL MASS: As of 12/31/19: Rotten Tomatoes: 62% positive reviews: Metacritic: 54/100.
COMPARISON SHOPPING: Mad Monster Party
FINAL RATING: 6/10
NEXT: Slender Man

Aniara

A glimpse of a bleak future.

(2018) Science Fiction (Magnet) Emelie Jonsson, Bianca Cruzeiro, Arvin Kananian, Anneli Martini, Jennie Silfverhjelm, Emma Broomė, Jamil Drissi, Leon Jiber, Peter Carlberg, Juan Rodríguez, David Nzinga, Dakota Treacher Williams, Otis Castillo Ǻlhed, Dante Westergårdh, Elin Lilleman Eriksson, Agnes Lundgren, Alexi Carpentieri, Unn Dahlman, Laila Ljunggren. Directed by Pella Kagerman and Hugo Lilja

 

We like to think we pretty much have a handle on our lives. We more or less know what we want, where we’re going and what we want to do along the way. We know we have a world of endless possibilities to explore. What happens though when we don’t?

In the future, climate change has made Earth unlivable and the human race is moving to Mars. Giant transport ships – essentially city-sized cruise ships – ferry passengers from the dying world to the new one. The Aniara is one such ship, loading up with passengers many of whom have family awaiting them on the Red Planet. The three-week journey is made easier by the presence of 21 restaurants, many more bars and nightclubs, a luxury spa, a massive mall – all the amenities of home.

Mimaroben (Jonsson) whose name is often abbreviated as “MR” runs the virtual reality room MIMA which essentially scans the brain waves of the users and picks out pleasant memories for them to relive. At the beginning of the journey she isn’t getting many customers. She shares a cabin with the Astronomer (Martini), a jaded science officer who doesn’t have much use for people.

But what is to be a routine voyage becomes something completely different in a heartbeat. A field of space junk debris penetrates the hull and forces the crew to jettison the fuel for their nuclear propulsion system. Without it, they are unable to steer or slow their momentum, leaving them to drift through space. Captain Chefone (Kananian) puts a brave face on things and tells the passengers and crew that there will be a delay in getting them to Mars – about two years instead of three weeks – but get there they will because they have a plan to use a celestial body as a slingshot to put the crippled ship back on course to Mars.

As it becomes clear that the Captain is lying through his teeth and that the Aniara is doomed to drift endlessly through space going nowhere, things change aboard the ship. The captain becomes paranoid and power-drunk; MR starts of a relationship with Isagel (Cruzeiro) and suicides become a big problem. Several cults are formed, some hedonistic, most fatalistic.

This is a beautiful film to look at with superb special effects and clean production design. I’ve seen the movie described as Passengers if it had been directed by Ingmar Bergman and it’s not that far from the truth. The tone is extremely fatalistic – it’s Scandinavian, after all – and bleak as all get out. There is some commentary on the excessive consumerism of modern society but in essence, the main theme seems to be that without a destination firmly in mind there is no point to life. I don’t know if I can agree with that.

The film isn’t helped by the bland personalities of the main characters. They are all somewhat one-dimensional, especially MR who is pushed and pulled by the eddies of life without apparently much care as to where they are taking her. She certainly doesn’t seem inclined to do any swimming of her own. While Kananian physically resembles Clive Owen, he’s no Clive Owen and gives the Captain again a fairly one-dimensional portrayal.

There is a lot of intellectual content to unpack here and those who are into cerebral sci-fi are going to find this a big win. Those who prefer their science fiction to be space operas may take some delight in the production design but are going to be bored silly – as many of the passengers are. This is the kind of movie that will appeal to a fairly narrow band of moviegoers but those that are inclined to like it are likely to like it a whole lot.

REASONS TO SEE: The special effects are stunning. The filmmakers get the herd instincts of the passengers right.
REASONS TO AVOID: The main characters are devoid of personality.
FAMILY VALUES: There is some graphic nudity, graphic sexual content, some drug use, a few disturbing images and a bit of profanity.
TRIVIAL PURSUIT: The film is based on a poem by Swedish author Harry Martinson.
CRITICAL MASS: As of 5/21/19: Rotten Tomatoes: 61% positive reviews: Metacritic: 58/100.
COMPARISON SHOPPING: Passengers
FINAL RATING: 7.5/10
NEXT: Nona

An Affair to Remember

Dressed to impress!

(1957) Romance (20th Century Fox) Cary Grant, Deborah Kerr, Richard Denning, Neva Patterson, Cathleen Nesbitt, Robert Q. Lewis, Charles Watts, Fortunio Bonanova, Dorothy Adams, Richard Allen, Suzanne Ellers, Genevieve Aumont, Marni Nixon. Directed by Leo McCarey

 

Some movies withstand the test of time while others become hopelessly dated. Some remain classics because of their era-centricity.

An Affair to Remember is one of those movies that has had a charmed life. It began as a remake by McCarey of his own 1939 hit Love Affair which garnered six Oscar nominations, starred Irene Dunn and Charles Boyer and is a classic of the romance genre on its own. An Affair to Remember was a massive hit in its day, one of the first movies to take advantage of the Cinemascope process. It slumbered in the archives of Fox for years, occasionally surfacing on an afternoon movie program before Sleepless in Seattle referenced it as a romantic touchstone for the Meg Ryan character, sparking renewed interest in the film (more than two million video cassette tapes were sold of the film after Sleepless came out).

The plot has European playboy Nickie Ferrante (Grant) taking a transatlantic voyage aboard the U.S.S. Constitution to New York where he is to be married to his heiress girlfriend. On board he meets singer Terry McKay (Kerr) where in time-honored romantic tradition the two find each other not liking each other much but being the only single people on board constantly paired together.

It is only when the ship docks in Madeira and Terry meets Nickie’s charming grandmother (Nesbitt), seeing his tender and loving side that she falls in love with him and he with her. The two spend most of the rest of the voyage trying not to be seen as a couple together; as they dock in the Big Apple they agree to meet at the Empire State Building in six months time. However, fate throws a curveball in their direction that may irrevocably separate the lovers for good.

This remains one of Da Queen’s most beloved films. Her wedding dress and bridesmaid dresses were modeled after the dress Kerr one (depicted in the picture above) to give you an idea of what she thought of the movie. It certainly captures romance in a time and period where elegance and manners weren’t four letter words.

Grant is perhaps one of the most romantic leads ever in cinema. In his time he would have won the Sexiest Man Alive on multiple occasions had the award existed and there are plenty of women today who’d be quite happy to be swept off their collective feet by his ghost – and regularly are whenever they watch one of his films. This may well have been his most romantic.

Kerr is one of the most beautiful women ever in the movies and she was at the height of her beauty and allure here. What man wouldn’t fall in love with someone as strong, smart and lovely as her? She is of course a woman of her time and in many ways there are things about her character that modern feminists might take umbrage to, but that’s simply the norm for the times. For my money she is as modern a woman as most I’ve met running around the 21st century.

This is the way they used to do romance and in many ways, in this age of social networking, online romance, dating services and internet porn, they got it far more right than we do. I think that strikes a chord in a lot of us – wanting our romance to be simple, more elegant, more epic in scale. It isn’t much to ask.

So do yourself a favor – curl up on the couch, bring out the champagne and chocolate-covered strawberries, slip into something comfortable and put this on the DVD player. Guys, nothing may blow up or get shot  at nor will there be any bare breasts but trust me – your woman will thank you for it. In a very meaningful way.

WHY RENT THIS: A favorite of Da Queen and considered one of the best romantic movies ever made. Certainly it has all the right elements for a terrific couch cuddlefest.

WHY RENT SOMETHING ELSE: Elements of it are dated and might not be relatable for younger audience members.

FAMILY VALUES:  Like most films of the era, there isn’t anything here that you’d find objectionable for your kids to see, other than the excessive smoking and drinking that was par for the course at the time.

TRIVIAL PURSUIT: The movie debuted aboard the U.S.S. Constitution where many of the shipboard scenes were filmed.

NOTABLE DVD EXTRAS: This has received several home video incarnations; the original DVD release (2003) includes a commentary track from film historian Joseph McBride and singer Marni Nixon who dubbed Kerr’s voice in the film. There is also an episode of AMC’s “Backstory” devoted to the film, and a snippet from a newsreel showing the film’s premiere on board an ocean liner. The 50th Anniversary edition (2008) comes with postcard reproductions of the film’s original lobby cards, as well as segments devoted to the careers and lives of Grant, Kerr, McCarey and producer Jerry Wald. The Blu-Ray edition (2011) comes with everything in the 50th Anniversary edition sans the postcards.

BOX OFFICE PERFORMANCE: $3.8M on an unreported production budget; the movie was a huge hit!

FINAL RATING: 10/10

TOMORROW: Chronicle