Here Awhile

Reflections at the end of life.

(2019) Drama (1091) Anna Camp, Steven Strait, Joe Lo Truglio, Chloe Mason, Kristin Taylor, Dana Millican, Reza Leal-Smartt, Grant Hall, Sydney Lovering, Parker Hall, Griffin Gadre, Kieran Gadre, Deborah Lee Smith. Directed by Tim True

 

Eventually, we all die. I will. You will. Your significant other will. Your parents will. Your children will. To dust we all, inevitably, finally, return.

Anna (Camp) has returned to Portland, Oregon, after an absence of 15 years to reconnect with her younger brother Michael (Strait). At first, Michael is not having it; there has been literally no contact between them since their late father threw her out of the house because she is a lesbian. Anna explains that she attempted to call, but their father would always hang up on her. It doesn’t take long before forgiveness supplants hurt feelings. Family is, after all, family.

But Anna has an ulterior motive; she has a very aggressive colon cancer that has spread all over her body. Not only is it inoperable but it is also untreatable as well. Oregon has a death with dignity law for their citizens. Anna has officially moved back and taken up residence, so she qualifies. She is in the end stages now and time is running short. She needs her brother’s support if she is going to end her life with the dignity she wants to.

She finds a new family with her wife Luisa (Taylor), Michael’s girlfriend Shonda (Mason) and Gary (Lo Truglio), Michael’s autistic/agoraphobic/OCD neighbor and co-worker whom Michael looks after. The five of them spread the ashes of Anna’s dad in a quiet, natural place, take a beach trip, have long talks about the nature of existence and what comes after death. As Anna weakens, she sees the doctor who gently tells her how to self-terminate. Will there be no miracle here?

Spoiler alert: no. Anna’s death is depicted as a part of life. The physical act of dying is handled with sensitivity and realism, so kudos to the True (who co-wrote the film) for that. He also shows off Portland pretty well, presenting it as a really nice place to live. Portland is often portrayed as the unwanted stepchild of Seattle, so that was nice to see.

The movie handles a topic – the end of life – that is rarely looked at by the movies, because it is a topic that most of us are uncomfortable with, even though we will all end up facing it someday (and I hope, gentle reader, it is a long, long, LONG time before you do). There is definite food for thought here and using Oregon’s enlightened death with dignity law is a handy springboard.

But the movie is deeply flawed. The characters are largely archetypes rather than feeling like real human beings. Camp looks way too healthy and strong to be dying; some creative make-up would have at least given her a sallow complexion. Worst of all, most of the characters are mouthing platitudes rather than any real insight. I wish the writers would have tried writing real people with real opinions for this film.

For those who are triggered by political correctness, the movie is woke AF. Both couples are bi-racial which is a good thing, but it doesn’t feel organic; it feels like it was a means for the filmmakers to feel proud of how politically correct they are. The relationships seem forced and poor Gary is the only one who doesn’t have a romantic partner. That feels more condescending than you can imagine, and the Asperger’s patient who is wiser than Merlin has become something of a cinematic cliché. I also feel a little skeevy about someone on the spectrum being used as comedy relief. Maybe I’m being too politically correct myself.

But I suppose that’s just the times we live in – everyone is overly sensitive about everything, it seems. I guess I’m no exception in that regard, but that doesn’t change the fact that this film had a golden opportunity to open dialogue about euthanasia, dying with dignity and death itself, but ends up sinking into a morass of clichés and banal plot points and characters. There is some insight to be had here, but you’ll essentially have to be work really hard to find it.

REASONS TO SEE: The subject matter is worth exploring.
REASONS TO AVOID: Overly maudlin and predictable.
FAMILY VALUES: The themes are adult in nature, with a side of profanity.
TRIVIAL PURSUIT: This is True’s debut feature film.
BEYOND THE THEATER: Amazon, AppleTV, Fandango Now, Google Play, Microsoft, MUBI, Vudu, YouTube
CRITICAL MASS: As of 6/11/20: Rotten Tomatoes: No score yet; Metacritic: No score yet.
COMPARISON SHOPPING: The Farewell Party
FINAL RATING: 5.5/10
NEXT: This Teacher

Alternate Endings: Six New Ways to Die in America

Saying goodbye doesn’t have to wait until you die.

(2019) Documentary (HBO) Leila Johnson, Linda Johnson, Steve Berkoff, Guadalupe Cuevas, Guadalupe Cuevas Jr., Amalia Cuevas, Alicia Cuevas Gonzalez, Barbara Jean, TJ, Sarah Singer Green, Lisa Bransine, Dick Shannon, Will Corbett, Ryan Matthews, Emelie Matthews. Directed by Matthew O’Neill and Perri Peltz

 

Death is a taboo subject. We tend to shove it to the back of our minds; we don’t like to think about it and we certainly don’t like to talk about it. Our mortality makes us uncomfortable, regardless that all of us are eventually going to die. Most of us have little clue as to how we want our endgame to play.

The Baby Boomers who are of an age now where they are beginning to get visits from the Grim Reaper with regularity are changing the way we think of death and dying. While some still opt for coffins that cost as much as cars, a ceremony in a place of worship and a viewing at the local funeral home, there are other ways to say goodbye now.

This new HBO documentary revisits the way we look at the end of the road. A visit to the National Funeral Directors Association convention in Boston reveals holographic final messages from the deceased to their loved ones, elaborate urns – don’t call them urns, they’re memorial art – and boxes of good Irish soil so that the deceased may get buried at home, even if their casket is thousands of miles away.

Others may prefer having their cremated remains shot into outer space as one teacher’s family did in New Mexico. His family was one of 45 whose loved ones became part of the final frontier. Although I would imagine that would be fairly pricy, so those cost-conscious about final send-offs may want to be aware of that.

There are also things called “green burials” which Texan Barbara Jean has selected. She wants instead of a coffin to be wrapped in biodegradable material and have her decomposing remains nurture the life of a new tree. I admit there is some appeal in having your corpse be put to good use.

One of the hardest segments to watch was that involving a celebration of life. 5-year-old Garrett Matthews was diagnosed with terminal cancer. He told his mommy and daddy (Emilie and Ryan) that he didn’t want a funeral. He wanted a party complete with fireworks, bouncy houses, snow cones and an appearance by the Caped Crusader himself, Batman so after their child passed on, his parents did exactly what little Garrett wanted. Yes, it was a celebration of life but I don’t know if I could have had the emotional ability to approach it with the kind of joy they did and to be honest, one imagines there was a whole lot of tears and grief that didn’t appear on-camera.

Silicon Valley engineer Dick Shannon had terminal lung cancer and decided he wanted to decide for himself how and when to die. California’s “Death with dignity” laws enabled him to do that so Dick had a cocktail of drugs that would ease him off into the void peacefully and painlessly. Before he goes, Dick helps design (and build) his own coffin and also throws a farewell bash with a hefty amount of gallows humor.

We are shown Dick drinking his hemlock and sharing his final moments with his wife and family and that was a little uncomfortable, like we were invading the privacy of the family at a particularly painful time. I suppose we are conditioned to think that way.

The option that I’d go for was the first one presented; having your ashes mixed with concrete and made part of a Memorial Coral Reef. Considering the harm we’ve done to the ocean, it feels like the least we can do. Again, though, that one might be pricier than some of the other options presented here.

Some of this might seem a little new age-y to you (certainly the green burial had some elements of that) which might detract from the merits of the various options here, so try to keep an open mind. As Dick Shannon accurately says, the dying in America have no part of their own process of dying. They are removed from it to a large degree. Obviously those who die suddenly may not have time to consider what they want for their end of life choices, but it behooves most of us no matter how young we are to have at least some idea of how we want our families to handle our final arrangements. And death doesn’t necessarily have to be more about those left behind; I must admit I take some comfort in that.

REASONS TO SEE: Presents different viewpoints on death and how to deal with it.
REASONS TO AVOID: Some might find this a little too new age-y.
FAMILY VALUES: The matter-of-fact approach to death and dying may be too intense for the sensitive and the immature.
TRIVIAL PURSUIT: In 2018, more people opted for cremation than for traditional funerals in America for the first time ever.
BEYOND THE THEATER: HBO Go
CRITICAL MASS: As of 8/17/19: Rotten Tomatoes: 100% positive reviews: Metacritic: No score yet.
COMPARISON SHOPPING: Gates of Heaven
FINAL RATING: 6.5/10
NEXT: Xenophobia