Klown (Klovn: The Movie)


Klown

For Drew Carey lookalike Frank Hvam, the price is wrong.

(2010) Sex Comedy (Drafthouse) Frank Hvam, Casper Christensen, Marcuz Jess Petersen, Mia Lyhne, Iben Hjejle, Lars Hjortshoj, Tina Bilsbo, Mads Lisby, Anne Moen, Niels Weyde, Marie Mondrup, Elsebeth Steentoft, Bent Fabricius-Bjerre, Dya Josefine Hauch. Directed by Mikkel Norgaard

 

Fatherhood shouldn’t be for just anybody. Any man out there who can get a woman pregnant but not all of them are capable of being dads. Some of them are barely progressed from children on an emotional level themselves.

Frank (Hvam) is a 30-ish nebbish with  a girlfriend – Mia (Lyhne) who is far too hot for him and he knows it. He’s the kind of guy who wanders around the house in soiled “tighty whities” without a whole lot of regard for who sees him in it. He’s got a decent enough heart but has a knack for saying and doing the wrong thing. He isn’t terribly respected in his circle – the book club he belongs to run by former songwriter Bent Fabric (Fabricius-Bjerre) torments him with schnozzles.

While attending a wedding, Frank is congratulated by Mia’s gynecologist on her pregnancy. The problem is that her condition is news to him. Mia hasn’t told him because quite frankly, she’s not sure if he’s ready for fatherhood and thus not sure if she’s going to have an abortion, keep the baby and stay with Frank or keep the baby and leave Frank. Frank is devastated.

Following some pretty poor advice regarding masturbating on one’s mate (you ladies just love waking up to find your partner’s ummmm….stuff….on you, right?) that turns disastrous which winds up sending Pykker (Steentoft), his mother-in-law to the hospital Frank turns desperate. Mia looks about ready to leave him, so he does what any man would do – kidnap his 12-year-old nephew Bo (Petersen) and take him on a canoeing trip with his sex-crazed best friend Casper (Christensen) which was largely concocted as an opportunity for Casper to cheat on his wife Iben (Hjejle). The trip even has a name which Casper has bestowed on it; the Tour de P….err, we can’t say it here but it relates to a slang term for female genitalia. You get the drift.

From there things go from bad to worse. Frank’s regular attempts to get laid put Bo and Frank in a series of unsavory situations. Frank at first is more interested in trying to impress Mia but at least makes a genuine albeit misguided effort to bond with Bo, protecting him somewhat lamely from a group of bullies who humiliate Bo with observations on his genitalia which are unusually small.

Throughout his youth, my wife was fond of telling our son that “Your sins will find you out” and so it is here. Frank and Casper’s indiscretions – not to mention outrageously poor decisions regarding Bo – get back to Mia and Iben and both are not just in the doghouse but given their marching orders. Can these two misfits figure out a way to make things right?

This isn’t a typical Hollywood sex comedy by any stretch of the imagination. Norgaard (as well as Hvam and Christensen, who co-wrote the movie) seem bound and determined to take on any taboos without flinching and so they do. Things that Hollywood would certainly shy away from are fair game here. And it’s funny. Hysterically so – to the point where Da Queen very nearly fell out of her chair laughing. Which, if you’ve ever seen the chairs at the Enzian, you’ll know is no small feat (for those wondering which scene it is, it’s the finger scene – you’ll know it when you see it).

Hvam bears a striking resemblance to Drew Carey, albeit a younger and less cheerful one. Whereas Carey made a career out of an acerbic observational humor that had a kind of terminal optimism, Hvam seems to see life as a series of opportunities for humiliation. Still, he plunges forward as best he can and despite everything he does and says here we wind up liking him which is just short of miraculous.

Christensen’s character has a libido that’s constantly on overdrive. He’s a bit of a lummox and completely selfish, putting his genitalia ahead of his best friend’s relationship (which is not an un-man-like thing to do). His opinion of himself is such that you wonder that he doesn’t refer to himself in the third person although that might well be lost in translation.

For the most part the theatrical run for the movie is over although you might find it playing at an art house or two. It is shortly to be released on home video, so you may want to check your preferred means of streaming/downloading/retail outlet or order it online through the website which you may reach by clicking on the picture above.

Do be aware that this is really, really raunchy. Those who are sensitive about sexual jokes, nudity (both male and female), simulated sex acts, drug use and general carnal behavior should know that this might not be for them. The sexuality has a more easygoing, matter-of-fact European vibe which might shock us uptight Americans. For those of us who can take a joke, don’t mind sex and don’t shock easily, this is a treat we’ll want to enjoy for ourselves. Pass the Danish.

REASONS TO GO: Hysterical humor that is much more straightforward about sex than Hollywood tends to allow, yet possessed of a decent heart as well.

REASONS TO STAY: Might be offensive to the prudish. Some of the Danish references fly right over our heads.

FAMILY VALUES: There is graphic nudity and lots and lots of crude sexual humor. There’s a whole lot of bad language and a smattering of drug usage. Questions?

TRIVIAL PURSUIT: The movie is based on a successful Danish TV show in which Hvam and Christensen play largely fictional versions of themselves.

CRITICAL MASS: As of 9/23/12: Rotten Tomatoes: 79% positive reviews. Metacritic: 62/100. The reviews are pretty good.

COMPARISON SHOPPING: The Hangover

CANOE LOVERS: A good portion of the film takes place on a canoeing trip on bucolic Danish waterways.

FINAL RATING: 7/10

NEXT: Terri

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Due Date


Due Date

Apparently these guys got no further than "speak no evil."

(2010) Comedy (Warner Brothers) Robert Downey Jr., Zach Galifianakis, Michelle Monaghan, Jamie Foxx, Juliet Lewis, RZA, Danny McBride, Matt Walsh, Brody Stevens, Marco Rodriguez, Paul Renteria, Mimi Kennedy, Charlie Sheen, Jon Cryer. Directed by Todd Phillips

The best part of any trip is coming home. There comes a point when the weary traveler just wants to get back to their own bed, by any means necessary. Sometimes fate intervenes in this worthy endeavor however.

Peter Highman (Downey) has more reason than most to want to get back. His wife Sarah (Monaghan) is due to give birth and a date has been set to give her a Caesarian. He is leaving Atlanta in plenty of time…until he meets Ethan Tremblay (Galifianakis).

Actually he pretty much literally runs into him, Ethan does and in the confusion, Ethan and Peter pick up each other’s similar-looking bags. It turns out that Ethan is sitting behind Peter in first class. It turns out Ethan gets Peter shot by an Air Marshal. Both men are tossed off the plane, with Peter leaving his wallet on board. Worse, he’s on a no-fly list now because of the incident.

Without a wallet, Peter has no way of renting a car but Ethan does and reluctantly Peter agrees to accompany Ethan on his way to Los Angeles; Ethan is an aspiring actor, bringing along with him on his journey his dog and his father’s ashes in a coffee can. Does that man know how to travel or what?

Of course, the eccentric Ethan gets the uptight Peter into all sorts of trouble, from getting them into an accident when he falls asleep at the wheel to abandoning Peter to get arrested for possession of marijuana at a border crossing. With the clock ticking and Sarah’s due date nearing, can Peter and Ethan manage to make it across the country in time or will Peter miss the birth of his first child?

If you thought “Wasn’t there a movie a lot like that?” you’d probably agree with the critics who dissed this movie for being too similar to Planes, Trains and Automobiles, the 1987 John Hughes film with Steve Martin and John Candy in a more or less similar plot. They aren’t exactly alike and there are no trains in this movie but the spirit is pretty much the same.

Peter is ramrod straight here and that’s supposed to be the joke, but that becomes a double edged sword because the movie then isn’t able to make use of Downey’s comic skills which are considerable. He becomes a glorified straight man to Galifianakis’ antics and quite frankly, the movie would have been better served to allow Peter to be not quite so uptight.

Galifianakis is one of the most popular comic actors today but this seems to be more or less a parody of his role in the two Hangover movies. He was far better in those, as well as his more serious role in It’s Kind of a Funny Story. Here, he is eccentric for its own sake. The real trick to making a role of this sort funny is that it kind of has to be believable. There’s nothing believable about Ethan. He does things no rational human being would ever do. And as for Peter, there’s no way anybody sticks around Ethan after he causes Peter multiple injuries.

There are some good gags here and a enough laughs that I can at least promise a certain amount of entertainment if you choose to rent this. However, while it did good box office, it isn’t really the kind of movie you’re going to remember with a great deal of fondness, nor is it one you’re going to want to watch over and over again. It’s just diversion enough to make you smile and maybe laugh a little bit for an hour and a half, which is a pretty noble result in and of itself.

WHY RENT THIS: There are enough funny moments to make this worth your while.

WHY RENT SOMETHING ELSE: There are not enough funny moments to make this a classic.

FAMILY VALUES: There is a bit of foul language, a teensy bit of drug use and some comic violence.

TRIVIAL PURSUIT: Alan Arkin filmed some scenes as Peter’s father but these were left on the cutting room floor.

NOTABLE DVD EXTRAS: There’s a gag reel and the full scene shown at the end of the movie of “Two and a Half Men.”

BOX OFFICE PERFORMANCE: $211.8M on a $65M production budget; the movie was a genuine hit.

FINAL RATING: 6/10

TOMORROW: Martha Marcy May Marlene

The Back-Up Plan


The Back-Up Plan

Jennifer Lopez shows how many times Alex O'Loughlin takes off his shirt in the movie.

(2010) Romantic Comedy (CBS) Jennifer Lopez, Alex O’Loughlin, Eric Christian Olsen, Melissa McCarthy, Michaela Watkins, Danneel Harris, Noureen DeWulf, Anthony Anderson, Tom Bosley, Maribeth Monroe, Robert Klein, Linda Lavin, Cesar Millan. Directed by Alan Poul

Life doesn’t always go the way we want it to. We make plans, have an idea in mind as to what we want out of life. When things don’t go as expected, it’s good to have a back-up plan.

Zoe (Lopez) thought she had it all figured out; great job, get married, have a few rug rats, presto blammo life is sweet. The problem is that none of her boyfriends were working out (men being what they are) and the old biological clock is beginning to tick just a hair louder. Therefore, Zoe makes the decision to go the man-less route in having kids.

Yup, we’re talking artificial insemination. Zoe goes to a fertility clinic where a kindly old doctor (Klein) does the procedure and she gets all knocked up. Giddy from the news, Zoe leaves the clinic on a stormy afternoon and gets into a cab. Trouble is, Stan (O’Loughlin who filmed this just before finding stardom in the TV reboot of “Hawaii Five-O”) spotted the cab at exactly the same time. The two argue and Zoe eventually gives up the cab because she doesn’t want to spoil her great mood.

Of course, now the two of them see each other everywhere. This is the Hollywood God Mechanism, cinematic deities sending none-too-subtle messages that the two were meant to be together. And of course, they are. This is a romantic comedy, after all. The two fall in love but Stan isn’t aware that Zoe has a bun in the oven and Zoe isn’t about to tell him because he might bolt. Boyfriends are a lot like deer that way, skittish.

Eventually she breaks down and tells him and Stan being a Great Guy (you can tell right away he’s a great guy because he’s an organic farmer selling his organic goat cheese at a Tribeca farmers market) doesn’t bat an eyelash but takes on the responsibility of being not only a boyfriend but a father to be – without any genetic connection or legal requirement. I can picture half the single moms in the audience sighing “Why can’t I meet a guy like that?” particularly when Stan shows up shirtless on a tractor, a kind of Chippendale’s farmer get-up.

Of course this is a Hollywood rom-com so there are going to be issues. The couple is going to break up. Are they going to get back together again? Are you kidding? C’mon, you know what the answer to that is.

Lopez is one of those actresses that has a great deal of talent is sadly aware that she has a great deal of talent. One gets the impression that she has a person in her entourage whose sole purpose is to tell her what a great deal of talent that she has. I’m not saying that she’s egotistical, but she seemed to be a much better performer before she became a Big Star. Even in Anaconda, as ludicrous a horror movie as has ever hit the big screen, she was more natural an actress.

I have to admit though, that she is really charming here. It’s as if that entourage flunky has been given the new responsibility to remind her that she doesn’t have to be Jenny from the block 24-7. She can be Zoe instead, a kind of meek and sweet girl. This is the kind of performance that made her a star in the first place.

O’Loughlin turns out to be an appealing romantic lead; together with his cop action persona in Five-O could well parlay that into stardom of his own. The supporting players are for the most part forgettable, although Klein has a few good moments and Anthony Anderson gets a really great scene as a playground dad telling Stan about the joys and pitfalls of being a dad.

Like most Hollywood romantic comedies, this is as wispy and sugary as cotton candy and just as forgettable. It is a pleasant diversion for as long as it’s there, but not long after it’s gone you might feel hungry for something more substantial. It does at least give me hope that Lopez is capable of better than we’ve been seeing from her lately, and that in itself is worthwhile.

WHY RENT THIS: Lopez is as engaging and charming as she’s ever been. O’Loughlin is an appealing leading man.

WHY RENT SOMETHING ELSE: As with most Hollywood rom-coms, very formulaic.

FAMILY VALUES: Being as the movie is about being pregnant, there are a lot of pregnancy and sexual jokes herein; there’s a tiny bit of bad language and some mature themes.

TRIVIAL PURSUIT: This was the late Tom Bosley’s final film.

NOTABLE DVD EXTRAS: None listed.

BOX OFFICE PERFORMANCE: $77.5M on a $35M production budget; the movie broke even and even made a little bit of money.

FINAL RATING: 6/10

TOMORROW: Dream House

Stolen (2009)


Stolen

Josh Lucas can't get a break - a decent performance in a film that was ignored.

(2009) Mystery (IFC) Jon Hamm, Josh Lucas, James Van Der Beek, Jimmy Bennett, Jessica Chastain, Rhona Mitra, Joanna Cassidy, Morena Baccarin, Michael Cudlitz, Andy Milder, Holt McCallany, Jude Ciccolella.  Directed by Anders Anderson

For many of us, our children are our lives. When our children are taken away or disappear, our lives are not just disrupted. They are destroyed.

Detective Tom Adkins (Hamm) is a smart cop with a broken heart. Eight years prior, his son Tommy Jr. disappeared while in his care and hasn’t been seen since. The relationship between Tom and his wife (Mitra) is strained to say the least. Tom has never given up on his son, even though an arrest has been made for his disappearance – a body has never been found.

When a boy’s body is found in a box, at first the fear is that it is Tommy Jr., but forensics reveals that the body has been in that box for over 50 years. It turns out that the boy is John Wakefield (Bennett), the developmentally challenged son of Matthew (Lucas). If it weren’t for bad luck, Matthew Wakefield would have no luck at all.

He’s been out of work for quite awhile and unable to secure a new job. The pressure gets to his wife who kills herself, leaving Matthew with three children to raise. His sister agrees to take two of the children in while Matthew goes off in search of work, but her husband refuses to take in John who can be a handful.

Matthew finally finds work in the construction trade and makes friends with an educated sort, who is nicknamed Diploma (Van Der Beek), but Matthew is regarded with suspicion by the townsfolk and he is just one misstep away from being thrown out of town. When John disappears, he gets virtually no help in finding his boy; instead, he searches for him on his own and with Diploma, along with a friendly barmaid (Baccarin). However, it will be all for naught for his son will wind up being found in his lonely, forgotten grave 50 years after the fact.

50 years later, the discovery of John Wakefield has refueled the obsession of Tom, who believes that the two cases may against all odds be related. The man he suspected in the case, Roggiani, may provide the answers for both cases – but is Tommy Adkins alive or, like John Wakefield, patiently waiting for his remains to be discovered in a box of his own?

There are elements of the standard whodunit here, which hold the movie back from being what it ultimately could be. I like the idea of the two parallel stories; the elements in common hold the film together and help elevate the tension level.

Hamm has been getting a great deal of notice for his work in “Mad Men” and this movie was made just at the cusp of his career surge. He has upcoming roles in such high-profile films as Sucker Punch and Bridesmaids; here he has to combine the intensity of the grieving father with the calm, cool logic of the police detective. He isn’t always successful in merging the two sides of Adkins’ personality, but he does a good enough job that you can see the potential shining through. Hamm has a formidable talent and may well be a major Hollywood star in the very near future.

Lucas, on the other hand, has mostly performed on the big screen (most of the rest of the main cast is known more for their TV work) and carries himself with confidence as well as hot. In many ways, Matthew Wakefield is the emotional center of the movie more than Tom Adkins is and you feel real sympathy for a good man who has, through no fault of his own, fallen upon hard times. You feel for Matthew, who has been beat down his entire life and doesn’t deserve the fate that is thrust upon him.

Van Der Beek has come a long way since “Dawson’s Creek,” but I think the subtleties of the role he needed to play here were a bit too much of a stretch for him at this point in his career. Mitra alone of all the characters here has something more three dimensional to work with and she’s one of those actresses who simply perform admirably every time out without attracting the notice she deserves. This is one of those occasions.

The problem here is that there is little or no excitement. Part of what makes the story so compelling – the parallel story lines of the missing boys fifty years apart – is also the issue here. We know what fate awaits John Wakefield and, to a certain extent, Matthew Wakefield as well. That the story makes Tom and Tommy Adkins’ fates just as predictable detracts from the potential of the film. For me, that’s the real crime because this had plenty of potential.

WHY RENT THIS: Some fine performances from Hamm and Lucas, as well as a compelling story.

WHY RENT SOMETHING ELSE: Film seems oddly lifeless and flat when it should be suspenseful and exciting.

FAMILY VALUES: There’s a very sexy scene and some implied violence.

TRIVIAL PURSUIT: Jon Hamm’s Tom Adkins character was named for Jess Thomas Adkins, the actor who played Carl the Trashman on “Sesame Street” who was the acting teacher for writer Glenn Taranto.

NOTABLE DVD EXTRAS: None listed.

BOX OFFICE PERFORMANCE: $7,943 on an unreported production budget; the film was a flop.

FINAL RATING: 7/10

TOMORROW: Drive Angry 3D