New Releases for the Week of May 17, 2019


JOHN WICK: CHAPTER 3 – PARABELLUM

(Summit/Lionsgate) Keanu Reeves, Halle Berry, Ian McShane, Laurence Fishburne, Marc Dacascos, Lance Reddick, Asia Kate Dillon. Directed by Chad Stahelski

Wick, the world’s most ruthless hitman, has been excommunicated from the society of assassins and has a $14 million bounty on his head. There is no safe place for him anywhere as he tries to fend off a veritable legion of killers out to collect the reward.

See the trailer, video featurettes, clips, interviews and B-roll video here
For more on the movie this is the website
Genre: Action
Now Playing: Wide Release
Rating: R (for pervasive strong violence and some language)

A Dog’s Journey

(Universal) Dennis Quaid, Josh Gad (voice), Marg Helgenberger, Kathryn Prescott. Bailey, the loyal dog who had watched over Ethan from boyhood, makes a promise to keep an eye on Ethan’s granddaughter CJ who is being taken out of his life by his estranged daughter.

]See the trailer, clips and video featurettes here
For more on the movie this is the website  
Genre: Family
Now Playing: Wide Release
Rating: PG (for thematic content, some peril and rude humor)

The Biggest Little Farm

(Neon) John Chester, Molly Chester, Beauden Chester, Alan York. Apricot Lane Farms is the hard work of John and Molly Chester, two farming neophytes. John – a documentary director – and Molly – a chef, food blogger and cookbook author – decide to take on the country life when their landlord asks them to get rid of their dog. This starts them on a journey in which they make a farm in the philosophy of biodiversity where all the flora and fauna work together in harmony. You can read my review of this Florida Film Festival hit by clicking on the link below under “Scheduled for Review.”

See the trailer here
For more on the movie this is the website  
Genre: Documentary
Now Playing: Enzian Theater
Rating: PG (for mild thematic elements)

De De Pyaar De

(Yash Raj) Ajay Devgan, Alok Nath Dixit, Jimmy Shergill, Rakul Preet Singh. A middle age divorced man meets a woman 26 years his junior and the two fall in love. However, they will have to contend with his ex, their children (who are his new lady love’s age) and Indian conventions about age difference.

See the trailer and a clip here
For more on the movie this is the website  
Genre: Romantic Comedy
Now Playing: AMC West Oaks
Rating: NR

The Sun is Also a Star

(Warner Brothers) Yara Shahidi, Charles Melton, John Leguizamo, Jake Choi. A Jamaican-born young woman is fighting for the right to stay in the United States with the clock ticking down on her family’s deportation. On what might be their last day in New York, she meets a young Asian man who falls in love with her, despite her reluctance to commit to anything permanent. Based on the Young Person bestseller.

See the trailer and video featurettes here
For more on the movie this is the website  
Genre: Teen Romance
Now Playing: Wide Release
Rating: PG-13 (for some suggestive content and language)

Trial by Fire

(Roadside Attractions/LD Entertainment) Jack O’Connell, Laura Dern, Emily Meade, Jeff Perry. An uneducated heavy metal devotee with a criminal record in Texas is tried and convicted of murdering his own daughters by setting their house on fire. Despite his protestations, he’s sentenced to death. A Houston-based writer believes his story even when nobody else does and makes a heroic effort to prove his innocence in a system that doesn’t care. Based on a true story.

See the trailer, clips and video featurettes here
For more on the movie this is the website  
Genre: True Crime Drama
Now Playing: AMC Disney Springs, Regal Winter Park Village
Rating: R (for language throughout, some violence, disturbing images, sexual material and brief nudity)

The White Crow

(Sony Classics) Oleg Ivenko, Adėle Exarchopoulos, Ralph Fiennes, Sergei Polunin. The story of Rudolf Nureyev, the legendary Soviet ballet dancer who defected to the West in 1961 despite the best efforts of the KGB to stop him. This is directed by Fiennes.

See the trailer here
For more on the movie this is the website  
Genre: Biographical Drama
Now Playing: Regal Winter Park Village, Rialto Spanish Springs Square
Rating: R (for some sexuality, graphic nudity, and language

ALSO OPENING IN ORLANDO/DAYTONA:

General Magic
Mr. Local
Red Joan
We Have Always Lived in the Castle

ALSO OPENING IN MIAMI/FT. LAUDERDALE:

ABCD
Journey to a Mother’s Room
Mr. Local
Slaughterhouse Rulez

ALSO OPENING IN TAMPA/ST. PETERSBURG:

99
ABCD
Ayoga
Monster
Mr. Local
Slaughterhouse Rulez
This is Personal
We Have Always Lived in the Castle

ALSO OPENING IN JACKSONVILLE/ST. AUGUSTINE:

ABCD
Mr. Local

SCHEDULED FOR REVIEW:

A Dog’s Journey
The Biggest Little Farm
John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum
Journey to a Mother’s Room
Red Joan
Trial by Fire

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Nw Releases for the Week of January 11, 2019


THE UPSIDE

(STX) Kevin Hart, Bryan Cranston, Nicole Kidman, Julianna Margulies, Aja Naomi King, Tate Donovan. Directed by Neil Burger

An ex-con newly released from prison and fighting to get custody of his son back answers an ad for employment. He doesn’t expect to get hired, only to get proof that he applied. However, he ends up getting hired to be the attendant for a quadriplegic billionaire. The two men will find that the other is indispensable for finding each of their way back into the light. Based on a true story, this was first filmed as one of the all-time French box office hits Les Intouchables.

See the trailer and video featurettes here
For more on the movie this is the website

Release Formats: Standard
Genre: True Life Dramedy
Now Playing: Wide Release

Rating: PG-13 (for suggestive content and drug use)

A Dog’s Way Home

(Columbia) Ashley Judd, Bryce Dallas Howard (voice), Edward James Olmos, Wes Studi. A young man’s beloved dog gets lost and must make a 400 mile journey to get back home.

See the trailer and a video featurette here
For more on the movie this is the website

Release Formats: Standard
Genre: Family
Now Playing: Wide Release

Rating: PG (for thematic elements, some peril and language)

Replicas

(Entertainment Studios) Keanu Reeves, Alice Eve, Thomas Middleditch, John Ortiz. After a brilliant scientist loses his entire family in a car crash, he is determined to find a way to bring them back. Even if he can surmount the laws of nature, he’ll have to contend with a government-controlled lab and a police task force if he is to get his family back again.

See the trailer and a video featurette here
For more on the movie this is the website

Release Formats: Standard
Genre: Science Fiction
Now Playing: Wide Release

Rating: PG-13 (for thematic material, violence, disturbing images, some nudity and sexual references)

ALSO OPENING IN ORLANDO/DAYTONA:

Against the Clock
Being Rose
F2: Fun and Frustration
Jack ‘Em, Popoy
Madeline’s Madeline
Modest Heroes
NTR – Kathanayakudu
Petta
Rust Creek
Sgt. Will Gardner
Uri
Vinaya Vidheya Rama
Viswasam

ALSO OPENING IN MIAMI/FT. LAUDERDALE:

Anthem of a Teenage Prophet
F2: Fun and Frustration
The Incredible Story of the Giant Pear
Life and Nothing More…
Modest Heroes
NTR – Kathanayakudu
Perfectos Desconocidos
Petta
Uri
Vinaya Vidheya Rama
Viswasam

ALSO OPENING IN TAMPA/ST. PETERSBURG:

The Accident-Prone Minister
Ashes in the Snow
F2: Fun and Frustration
Modest Heroes
Norm of the North: Keys to the Kingdom
NTR – Kathanayakudu
Petta
Sgt. Will Gardner
Uri
Vinaya Vidheya Rama
Viswasam

ALSO OPENING IN JACKSONVILLE/ST. AUGUSTINE:

The Accidental Prime Minister
F2: Fun and Frustration
Modest Heroes
Petta
Uri
Vinaya Vidheya Rama

SCHEDULED FOR REVIEW:

A Dog’s Way Home
Anthem of a Teenage Prophet
Replicas
Rust Creek
The Upside

New Releases for the Week of July 21, 2017


DUNKIRK

(Warner Brothers) Fionn Whitehead, Mark Rylance, Tom Hardy, Kenneth Branagh, James D’Arcy, Cillian Murphy, Harry Styles, Barry Keoghan. Directed by Christopher Nolan

The war was going badly. British forces in Europe had been driven by the Nazi war machine back to the English Channel. The Germans prepared to deal a death blow to the British military and consolidate their power in Europe. With their backs to the sea and enemy forces closing in, hundreds of thousands of British troops prayed for a miracle within sight of home in a place called Dunkirk.

See the trailer, a featurette and premiere footage here.
For more on the movie this is the website.

Release Formats: Standard, IMAX
Genre: War
Now Playing: Wide Release

Rating: PG-13 (for intense war experience and some language)

The Bad Batch

(Neon) Suki Waterhouse, Jason Momoa, Keanu Reeves, Jim Carrey. A young woman is unceremoniously dumped into a Texas wasteland infested with cannibals. It won’t be a matter of good or evil – it will be a matter of survival. The latest from director Ana Lily Amirpour is very different than her breakout hit A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night.

See the trailer and clips here.
For more on the movie this is the website.

Release Formats: Standard
Genre: Sci-Fi Horror
Now Playing: Enzian Theater

Rating: R (for violence, language, some drug content and brief nudity)

Girls Trip

(Universal) Regina Hall, Queen Latifah, Jada Pinkett Smith, Tiffany Haddish. Four lifelong friends who are starting to feel their youth slipping away decide to take a girls-only road trip to New Orleans for the Essence Festival. The ladies are determined to cut loose in an epic weekend of partying, dancing, drinking, brawling and debauchery. Either they’ll find their groove or go to jail; maybe both.

See the trailer, clips, interviews and B-roll video here.
For more on the movie this is the website

Release Formats: Standard
Genre: Comedy
Now Playing: Wide Release

Rating: R (for crude and sexual content throughout, pervasive language, brief graphic nudity,  and drug material)

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

(EuropaCorp/STX) Dane DeHaan, Cara Delevingne, Clive Owen, Ethan Hawke. Visionary director Luc Besson (The Fifth Element) adapts the acclaimed French graphic novel into a live-action visual masterpiece. Valerian and Laureline are a team of agents charged with maintaining order in a sprawling Galactic federation. They are summoned to Alpha, a vast city where the various species of the universe co-exist, sharing knowledge and culture. Someone is threatening Alpha with annihilation which could plunge the Galaxy into a crippling civil war and it is up to Valerian and Laureline to save it.

See the trailer, interviews, featurettes, clips and B-roll video here.
For more on the movie this is the website.

Release Formats: Standard, 3D
Genre: Science Fiction
Now Playing: Wide Release

Rating: PG-13 (for sci-fi violence and action, suggestive material and brief language)

OPENING IN ORLANDO/DAYTONA:

Bloody Crayons
Fidaa
The Journey
Munna Michael

ALSO OPENING IN MIAMI:

Endless Poetry
Family Life
Fidaa
First Kill
Good Fortune: The Story of John Paul DeJoria
Letters from Baghdad
Marie Curie
Meow
The Midwife
Munna Michael

ALSO OPENING IN TAMPA:

Fidaa
The Gracefield Incident
Maudie
Ninnu Kori
Scales: Mermaids are Real

ALSO OPENING IN JACKSONVILLE:

Fidaa
Past Life

John Wick: Chapter 2


Even John Wick’s dog looks badass.

(2017) Action (Summit) Keanu Reeves, Riccardo Scamarcio, Ian McShane, Ruby Rose, Common, Claudia Gerini, Lance Reddick, Laurence Fishburne, Tobias Segal, John Leguizamo, Bridget Moynahan, Thomas Sadoski, Erik Frandsen, David Patrick Kelly, Perry Yung, Franco Nero, Peter Serafinowicz, Peter Stormare, Vadim Kroll, Kelly Rae LeGault. Directed by Chad Stahelski

 

One of the better action films to come down the pike in recent years was John Wick. In it, a retired assassin un-retires himself when the son of a Russian mobster steals his car and kills his dog. Bad career move. Wick kills everyone associated with the dumbass Russian scion and adopts a new dog.

When the movie starts, Wick is going to retrieve his car from yet another Russian mobster (Stormare) and while all he wants is the car, of course the Russian mobster and his men try to take the master assassin down. Yet another bad career move. Even as the boss retells the story of how Wick once killed three men with a pencil (which we also saw in the last movie), Wick mows down every mobster who comes at him, wrecking the car he came to retrieve in the first place but the point is clear.

Wick returns home and puts all of his arsenal under concrete, apparently intending to retire again. However, he has a visitor – an Italian mobster this time named Santino D’Antonio (Scamarcio). Wick owes Santino a favor and the guy intends to collect. It’s what’s called a marker and in the world that Wick lives in, these cannot be refused. Wick promptly refuses and Santino promptly blows up his house.

Deciding that discretion is the better part of valor, Wick decides to fulfill the marker anyway (now minus a house) and takes on the job of killing Santino’s sister Gianna (Gerini) who Santino’s dad made head of the mob after he retired – or in other words, passed on. This didn’t sit well with Santino so he figured that if his sister was out of the way, he could take his rightful place as head of the family.

That’s why Wick heads to Rome, visits a tailor who has a way with Kevlar as well as a sommelier who has a nose for fine German firearms and heads over to a rave cum orgy celebrating sister’s ascension to the head of family status at a Roman ruin – those decadent Italians – and takes her out. This doesn’t sit well with her bodyguard (Common) who now unemployed decides to make a point of expressing his displeasure to Wick. Mayhem ensues.

The plot is a little more labyrinthine than before and we get more background on the world of assassins. The Continental Hotel, neutral ground in the first movie, is apparently a chain and the managers (Ian McShane in New York, Franco Nero in Rome) enforce that neutrality vigorously. We get a sense of the complex support system for the killers and the fairly cut and dried rules governing their behavior. This is all to the good.

The production design is also highly stylized from the Hall of Mirrors-like museum display in Rome, the gaudily lit rave, some of the most stylishly lit catacombs I’ve ever seen, the genteel and urbane Hotels and of course Wick’s Fortress of Solitude before Santino blows it to smithereens.

Where the movie fails, curiously enough, is the action – the strength of the first film. Stahelski fails to maintain the interest of the viewer for the length of the movie which he was able to do in the first. Here, the sequences have the effect of numbing the viewer until you feel quite blasé about the whole thing. I didn’t think I could get jaded in an all-out action film like this, but I did.

I will admit my complaints about the film have not been echoed by other reviewers or by friends who have seen the sequel and proclaimed it better than the original. I disagree, respectfully but nonetheless firmly. While it gives us more plot and more insight into the world the first film created and inhabits it with interesting characters who are portrayed by some fine actors like Fishburne, McShane, Nero and Common, at the end of the day I wanted to be wowed by the action and I just wasn’t. This is reportedly intended to be the middle segment in a planned John Wick trilogy. I hope that the third movie will combine the best points of both movies and create an action movie for the ages. When you’re a movie critic, hope should spring eternal.

REASONS TO GO: The mythology started in the first film is fleshed out more in the second.
REASONS TO STAY: The action scenes become mind-numbing after awhile.
FAMILY VALUES: There’s a stupid amount of violence, a fair amount of profanity and a scene with graphic nudity.
TRIVIAL PURSUIT: Stahelski was Reeves’ stunt double in The Matrix trilogy.
CRITICAL MASS: As of 4/5/17: Rotten Tomatoes: 90% positive reviews. Metacritic: 75/100.
COMPARISON SHOPPING: Kill Bill: Vol. 1
FINAL RATING: 5.5/10
NEXT: The Great Wall

New Releases for the Week of February 10, 2017


The LEGO Batman MovieTHE LEGO BATMAN MOVIE

(Warner Brothers) Starring the voices of Will Arnett, Michael Cera, Rosario Dawson, Ralph Fiennes, Siri, Zach Galifianakis, Jenny Slate, Conan O’Brien, Doug Benson. Directed by Chris McKay

One of the big reasons that The LEGO Movie was such a big hit was Will Arnett’s uptight loner Batman. Now he gets his own movie and the Caped Crusader is beset on all sides. The Joker is taking over Gotham City and for once Batman is overwhelmed. He’ll need to enlist help to save the day – but that’s not something he’s entirely comfortable with.

See the trailer, interviews, clips, Premiere footage and B-roll video here.
For more on the movie this is the website.

Release Formats: Standard, 3D, IMAX 3D
Genre: Animated Feature
Now Playing: Wide Release

Rating: PG (for rude humor and some action)

50 Shades Darker

(Universal) Jamie Dornan, Dakota Johnson, Bella Heathcote, Marcia Gay Harden. Following the events of 50 Shades of Grey Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey have separated but such is the attraction between them that they can’t remain apart for long. However, dark secrets in Christian’s past may threaten to tear the two lovers apart.

See the trailer, clips, interviews, a promo and B-roll video here.
For more on the movie this is the website.

Release Formats: Standard
Genre: Erotic Drama
Now Playing: Wide Release

Rating: R (for strong erotic sexual content, some graphic nudity and language)

John Wick: Chapter Two

(Lionsgate) Keanu Reeves, Common, Laurence Fishburne, Ruby Rose. Wick is happy living in retirement, something of a rarity among assassins. However when someone he owes a blood oath to calls him in to help him take over a shadowy international assassin’s guild, Wick is forced to travel to Rome to take on some of the world’s deadliest killers.

See the trailer, clips, interviews, a featurette and B-roll video here.
For more on the movie this is the website.

Release Formats: Standard
Genre: Action
Now Playing: Wide Release

Rating: R (for strong violence throughout, some language and brief nudity)

Jolly LLB 2

(Fox Star) Akshay Kumar, Humar Qureshi, Sayani Gupta, Arshad Warsi. A somewhat clumsy and lawyer is given the case of a lifetime to try, but the Indian legal system proves to be much more challenging than he could have possibly imagined.

See the trailer here.
For more on the movie this is the website.

Release Formats: Standard
Genre: Courtroom Dramedy
Now Playing: AMC West Oaks, Touchstar Southchase

Rating: NR

Julieta

(Sony Classics) Emma Suárez, Adriana Ugarte, Daniel Grao, Imma Cuesta. From Spain’s master director Pedro Almodóvar comes this look at a brokenhearted woman whose estranged daughter has been she hasn’t seen in 12 years. When a former acquaintance lets it slip that the daughter is married with three kids and living in Switzerland, the mom abruptly turns her life upside down and moves back in to her old apartment in Madrid, hoping her daughter will communicate with her. While she waits, she decides to write her memoirs, describing the events that led up to her situation.

See the trailer and clips here.
For more on the movie this is the website.

Release Formats: Standard
Genre: Romance
Now Playing: Regal Winter Park Village

Rating: R (for some sexuality/nudity)

The Salesman

(Cohen Media Group/Amazon) Taraneh Alidoosti, Shahab Hosseini, Babak Karimi, Mina Sadati. A couple that is rehearsing for a stage version of Arthur Miller’s Death of a Salesman are forced to move out of their collapsing home. A fellow performer rents out an apartment to them. They are however unaware that the previous tenant was a prostitute and when a former client comes by one night when the woman is all alone, the repercussions of the encounter will be extraordinary. This is one of the finalists for Best Foreign Language Film at this year’s Academy Awards.

See the trailer here.
For more on the movie this is the website.

Release Formats: Standard
Genre: Thriller
Now Playing: Regal Winter Park Village

Rating: PG-13 (for mature thematic elements and a brief bloody image)

New Releases for the Week of June 24, 2016


Independence Day ResurgenceINDEPENDENCE DAY: RESURGENCE

(20th Century Fox) Jeff Goldblum, Liam Hemsworth, Viveca A. Fox, Bill Pullman, Judd Hirsch, Sela Ward, Maika Monroe, Joey King, Grace Huang, Brett Spiner. Directed by Roland Emmerich

Twenty years have passed since the events of Independence Day and in twenty years, the human race has rebuilt their shattered planet, utilizing the technology left behind by the would-be invaders. We’ve spent two decades getting ready for what we’re sure is an inevitable return – only to discover that they’ve also had 20 years to prepare, and this time we might not be able to beat them.

See the trailer, interviews, promos, featurettes and B-roll video here.
For more on the movie this is the website.

Release Formats: Standard, 3D, IMAX 3D
Genre: Science Fiction
Now Playing: Wide Release

Rating: PG-13 (for sequences of sci-fi action and destruction, and for some language)

Free State of Jones

(STX Entertainment) Matthew McConaughey, Keri Russell, Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Mahershala Ali. During the Civil War, a Mississippi farmer – convinced he’s fighting for the wrong side of history and also convinced that the South must eventually fall – leads a rebellion at home to secede from the Confederacy – and incredibly, managed to convince slaves and ex-slaves to fight alongside him. This is based on actual events.

See the trailer, clips, interviews and B-roll video here.
For more on the movie this is the website.

Release Formats: Standard
Genre: Historical Drama
Now Playing: Wide Release

Rating: R (for brutal battle scenes and disturbing graphic images)

The Music of Strangers

(Broad Green) Yo-Yo Ma, Kinan Azmeh, Kayhan Kalhor, Cristina Pato. Oscar-nominated documentarian Morgan Neville turned his cameras on Ma, perhaps the greatest classical cellist of all time, and the acclaimed musicians of the Silk Road Project as they rehearse for a collaborative project. They look at their philosophies of music, their cultures and how the world is changing.

See the trailer here.
For more on the movie this is the website.

Release Formats: Standard
Genre: Musical Documentary
Now Playing: Regal Winter Park Village

Rating: R (for language throughout, and some violence)

The Neon Demon

(Broad Green) Elle Fanning, Jena Malone, Christina Hendricks, Keanu Reeves. A beautiful young woman, what they call in the modeling industry “a natural,” moves to Los Angeles to start off her career. There she runs into a group of women who are obsessed with aging and beauty. They begin to devour her vitality and beauty and will let nothing stop them until they get everything that she has.

See the trailer, clips, interviews and a promo here.
For more on the movie this is the website.

Release Formats: Standard
Genre: Thriller
Now Playing: Most of the Larger Multiplexes in Central Florida

Rating: R (for disturbing violent content, bloody images, graphic nudity, a scene of aberrant sexuality, and language)

Raiders!: The Story of the Greatest Fan Film Ever Made

(Drafthouse) Eric Zala, Chris Strompolos, Eli Roth, John Rhys-Davies. 35 years ago, a trio of intrepid 11-year-old Mississippi boys saw Raiders of the Lost Ark and like so many of us back then, were completely dazzled, enraptured even. They decided to make a movie of their own but not just any movie – they decided to remake Raiders shot for shot. Over a seven year period, they worked on it diligently at great cost. When they ceased filming, they had the entire movie in the can – save one scene. Now, they reunite to finish what they started, not realizing the impact their film has had on the fans  everywhere out there – and on those who worked on the original movie itself.

See the trailer and a featurette here.
For more on the movie this is the website.

Release Formats: Standard
Genre: Documentary
Now Playing: Enzian Theater

Rating: NR

Septembers of Shiraz

(Momentum) Salma Hayek, Adrien Brody, Shohreh Aghdashloo, Gabriella Wright. A secular Jewish family living in Iran in 1979 is caught up in the events of the 1979 revolution that brought fundamentalist Islamic clerics into power. The family is forced to fight for their lives in a home that is growing increasingly unrecognizable to them – and more dangerous by the day.

See the trailer and a clip here.
For more on the movie this is the website.

Release Formats: Standard
Genre: Drama
Now Playing: AMC Loew’s Universal Cineplex

Rating: PG-13 (for thematic content involving interrogation, brutality and disturbing images, and for some partial nudity and brief strong language)

The Shallows

(Columbia) Blake Lively, Oscar Jaenada, Brett Cullen, Sedona Legge. A secluded, breathtaking beach. A beautiful blonde surfer alone with the waves. Paradise, right? Sure…until the Great White Shark shows up. Cue the theme from Jaws.

See the trailer, clips, interviews and B-roll video here.
For more on the movie this is the website.

Release Formats: Standard
Genre: Thriller
Now Playing: Wide Release

Rating: PG-13 (for bloody images, intense sequences of peril, and brief strong language)

Point Break (2015)


Attack of the flying squirrels.

Attack of the flying squirrels.

(2015) Action (Warner Brothers) Edgar Ramirez, Luke Bracey, Ray Winstone, Teresa Palmer, Matias Varela, Clemens Schick, Tobias Santelmann, Max Thieriot, Delroy Lindo, Nikolai Kinski, Judah Lewis, Glynis Barber, Steve Toussaint, James Le Gros, Bojesse Christopher, Ronak Patani, Eddie Santiago Jordan, Patrick Dewayne, Seumas F. Sargent, Senta Dorothea Kirschner. Directed by Ericson Core

In 1991, Keanu Reeves and the late Patrick Swayze toplined one of the most iconic action films of that decade – Point Break – and now, two decades later, a remake is in theaters. I suppose that was inevitable. In the spirit of “bigger better more,” the Ex-Presidents are now not merely surfers but extreme athletes and world class ones at that.

Johnny Utah (Bracey) is an FBI agent. He wasn’t always one. Seven years ago, he was a YouTube warrior who wanted nothing more than to film extreme motocross stunts that would get him hits on the venerable Internet video channel, but something goes wrong and a friend winds up paying the ultimate price for Johnny’s hubris. Now, he is looking at a daring diamond robbery in which the thieves escape via parachute. Later, they grab some currency from a plane, drop the bills into an impoverished Mexican village and escape via a daring sky dive into a gigantic cave. Utah, being from that world, deduces that the criminals are trying to complete the Ozaki 8, a list of extremely demanding tasks meant to test the limits of the human spirit while at the same time honoring the forces of nature.

When Johnny finds out that there are ginormous waves occurring in the Atlantic, he is certain that the thieves will be there. He is dispatched to the scene under the wing of Agent Pappas (Winstone) from the UK office. He sees a whole flotilla of ships in the region with thrillseekers attempting to surf the waves that are the size of five story buildings. Johnny was never quite as skilled a surfer as others and when he attempts to surf one of the waves, he ends up going to the bottom, only to be rescued by Bodhi (Ramirez), who takes him to a huge yacht owned by Pascal al Fariq (Kinski), one of those insanely wealthy people who have more money than they know what to do with – so they get other people to tell them what to do with it.

As Johnny gets to know Bodhi and his crew, including Grommet (Varela), Roach (Schick), Chowder (Santelmann) and the lovely Samsara (Palmer), he knows he’s found his thieves but he has to prove it. Going against orders, he infiltrates the group and goes with them to ski down insane mountain ranges and put on flysuits to jump off of mountains. Eventually he earns their trust – well, at least the trust of Bodhi and Samsara, the latter of whom he ends up in bed with – but by this time he has begun to change his mind about their motivations and perhaps sympathize with them. So when push comes to shove, which side will Johnny end up on?

This is very much a Keanu Reeves movie without the benefit of Keanu Reeves in it. As Johnny Utah, Bracey resembles Heath Ledger facially but resembles a young Reeves in line delivery and not in a good way. He’s a bit wooden and stiff in his performance. I’m not sure whether that has to do with the writing or Bracey’s ability as an actor. Hopefully it’s not the latter.

The writing is a definite problem. This is the most bro-tastic movie you’ll see, unless the threatened Bill and Ted sequel comes together. You will never hear the word “brother” used so much in a single movie that doesn’t have two males with the same mother in it. It’s definitely a film loaded with testosterone and bro-bonding and bro-mancing is the order of the day here.

I can handle that but dumb is not as easy to dismiss. The plot grows more and more preposterous as the movie goes on and one begins to see through the Bodhi character as a selfish jerk spouting off New Age aphorisms; why would anyone in their right mind follow a guy like him? He talks about giving back to the poor while murdering middle class police officers and endangering innocents all to attain his personal goal. Of course, this is a different time now and people do worship at the altar of the almighty mirror but I didn’t get that feeling from the original film.

Let’s face it; the 1991 film had something in spades that this movie has little of – fun. The original was an entertaining ride. While the stunts here are impressive – and they are impressive – there’s no soul to them. There’s nothing here that makes me feel like I’m having a good time and why on earth would you go to a movie where you weren’t having one?

REASONS TO GO: Nice stunt sequences.
REASONS TO STAY: Dumb and dumber. Too much bro-ism. Ham-fisted acting. Wastes great locations.
FAMILY VALUES: Violence and language, some stupid ideas that nobody should remotely try to imitate, a little bit of sex and a little bit of drugs.
TRIVIAL PURSUIT: This was the first film Teresa Palmer acted in after giving birth to her son, coincidentally named Bohdi.
CRITICAL MASS: As of 1/12/16: Rotten Tomatoes: 8% positive reviews. Metacritic: 34/100.
COMPARISON SHOPPING: Chasing Mavericks
FINAL RATING: 3/10
NEXT: Joy