New Releases for the Week of April 13, 2018

RAMPAGE

(New Line/Warner Brothers) Dwayne Johnson, Naomie Harris, Malin Akerman, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Joe Manganiello, Marley Shelton, P.J. Byrne. Directed by Brad Peyton

A rogue genetic experiment goes way out of control, turning normal animals into giant monsters. A primatologist whose friend – a rare and unusually intelligent white ape – is a victim of the experiment joins forces with a discredited scientist to come up with a cure not just to save humanity but to save his buddy.

See the trailer and video featurettes here.
For more on the movie this is the website.
Release Formats: Standard, 3D, DBOX, DBOX 3D, Dolby 3D, Dolby Atmos, IMAX, IMAX 3D, RPX, RPX 3D, XD, XD 3D
Genre: Action
Now Playing: Wide Release
Rating: PG-13 (for scenes of action, violence and destruction, brief language, and crude gestures)

Aardvark

(Great Point) Zachary Quinto, Jenny Slate, Jon Hamm, Sheila Vand. The brother of a TV star who has issues with his brother’s popularity falls under the care of a therapist who herself begins to develop obsessive behavior towards his brother. Unable to tell fantasy from reality easily, her patient begins to fall in love with a woman – it’s just that he isn’t sure if she is real or not.

See the trailer here.
For more on the movie this is the website
Release Formats: Standard
Genre: Dramedy
Now Playing: Regal Winter Park Village
Rating: PG-13 (for mature thematic issues, language, some sexuality and violence)

Beirut

(Bleecker Street) Jon Hamm, Rosamund Pike, Mark Pellegrino, Dean Norris. A disgraced diplomat who lost everything during an assignment to Beirut is forced to return to that city in the midst of the Lebanese Civil War in the 1980s to negotiate the safe return of his best friend, a CIA operative. However, everyone around him has their own agenda and there’s no way to know who to trust. You can read my review at the link below.

See the trailer, video featurettes and clips here.
For more on the movie this is the website
Release Formats: Standard
Genre: Thriller
Now Playing: AMC Altamonte Mall, AMC Disney Springs, Regal Pointe Orlando, Regal Waterford Lakes, Regal Winter Park Village, Rialto Spanish Springs Town Square (opened Wednesday)
Rating: R (for language, some violence and a brief nude image)

Krystal

(Great Point/Paladin) Nick Robinson, Rosario Dawson, Grant Gustin, William Fichtner. A young man who’s led a sheltered life falls hard for the most unlikely woman – a junkie/stripper/prostitute named Krystal. From a completely different world that might as well be another planet, he joins Alcoholics Anonymous even though he doesn’t drink just so he can be in the same room as her. Needless to say, his family does not approve William H. Mach directs this and has a supporting role as well.

See the trailer here.
For more on the movie this is the website
Release Formats: Standard
Genre: Drama
Now Playing: AMC Universal Cineplex
Rating: R (for language throughout, drug use, some nudity and brief sexuality)

Mercury

(Stone Bench) Galaraj, Ramya Nambeeshan, Prabhudheva, Sanath Reddy. Five childhood friends, all disfigured due to mercury poisoning in the town they grew up in, return for a high school reunion. However in a moment of mischief they disturb something that should have better been left alone. The movie was filmed without dialogue.

See the trailer here.
For more on the movie this is the website
Release Formats: Standard
Genre: Horror/Thriller
Now Playing: Cinemark Artegon Marketplace
Rating: NR

Sgt. Stubby: An American Hero

(Fun Academy) Starring the voices of Helena Bonham Carter, Logan Lerman, Gérard Depardieu, Jordan Beck. A soldier adopts a stray dog near the barracks during the First World War. That dog would go on to become the most decorated canine in American military history.

See the trailer here.
For more on the movie this is the website
Release Formats: Standard
Genre: Animated Feature
Now Playing: Wide Release
Rating: PG (for war action and some thematic elements)

Truth or Dare

(Blumhouse/Universal) Lucy Hale, Tyler Posey, Violett Beane, Sophia Ali. A group of friends playing what seems to be a harmless game of truth or dare discover that they have stumbled into a supernatural entity which insists the game be played properly. Those who lie or refuse to do the dare are punished – terminally.

See the trailer and video featurettes here.
For more on the movie this is the website
Release Formats: Standard
Genre: Horror
Now Playing: Wide Release
Rating: PG-13 (for violence and disturbing content, alcohol abuse, some sexuality, language and thematic material)

Where is Kyra?

(Great Point/Paladin) Michelle Pfeiffer, Kiefer Sutherland, Suzanne Shepherd, Sam Robards. An unemployed woman tries to find work and care for her ailing elderly mother as her debts continue to mount up. Desperation drives her to do a dangerous act in order to survive. Find a link to our recent review of this film below.

See the trailer here.
For more on the movie this is the website
Release Formats: Standard
Genre: Drama
Now Playing: Regal Winter Park Village
Rating: NR

ALSO OPENING IN ORLANDO/DAYTONA:

Krishnarjuna Yudham
Venemo

ALSO OPENING IN MIAMI/FT. LAUDERDALE:

20 Weeks
Back to Burgundy
Baja
Beauty and the Dogs
Big Fish and Begonia
Borg/McEnroe
Final Portrait
Gultoo
Ismael’s Ghosts
Krishnarjuna Yudham
Mister Lonely
October
Venemo
Women of the Venezuelan Chaos

ALSO OPENING IN TAMPA/ST. PETERSBURG:

Flock of Four
Krishnarjuna Yudham
October

ALSO OPENING IN JACKSONVILLE/ST. AUGUSTINE:

Fanny
Krishnarjuna Yudham
October
Pandas

SCHEDULED FOR REVIEW:

Back to Burgundy
Beirut
Borg/McEnroe
Rampage
Truth or Dare
Where is Kyra?

FILM FESTIVALS TAKING PLACE IN FLORIDA:

Florida Film Festival, Orlando FL
Sarasota Film Festival, Sarasota FL

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Pompeii

Emily Browning mournfully checks out Kiefer Sutherland’s imperial ass.

(2014) Swords and Sandals (TriStar) Kit Harrington, Emily Browning, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, Kiefer Sutherland, Carrie-Anne Moss, Jared Harris, Jessica Lucas, Sasha Roiz, Joe Pingue, Currie Graham, Dylan Schombing, Rebecca Eady, Maxime Savana, Ron Kennell, Tom Bishop Sr., Jean-Francois Lachapelle, Jean Frenette, Dalmar Abuzeid, Melantha Blackthorne. Directed by Paul W.S. Anderson

There’s an old saying that “man proposes, God disposes” and if by God you mean a volcano then you have a point. The best-laid plans of mice and men do not stand well before an erupting Mt. Vesuvius.

Milo (Harrington) is a gladiator. He wasn’t always a gladiator – as a young boy (Schombing), he was the only survivor of a Celtic Horse Clan that was wiped out in rebellion against Rome by the Centurion Corvus (Sutherland) and his right hand swordsman Proculus (Roiz).  He only survived by playing dead but not before witnessing the butchering of his mother (Eady) and father (Lachapelle). He was discovered by slavers and trained as a gladiator.

As a gladiator in the British isles he soon became known for his speed and his skills and as a young man was virtually unbeatable. Recognizing that he was far too skilled for the hinterlands, it was decided that Milo be taken to Pompeii to see how he fares. Pompeii is just a hop, skip and a jump from the big time in Rome.

Pompeii, a seaside resort town, is having some issues of its own. Much of it is dilapidated and aging and leading citizen Severus (Harris) is eager to rebuild much of it, attracting more tourism. In particular the arena is obsolete and cannot accommodate the extremely popular chariot races, so his grand plan includes the construction of a new arena. He is hopeful that the new emperor will invest but instead he gets Corvus.

Corvus however has an agenda of his own and it involves Severus’ daughter Cassia (Browning). She had spent a year in Rome but sickened by the corruption she saw there, had returned home to her father and mother Aurelia (Moss). However, her principle reason for leaving had been the dogged and unwanted pursuit by Corvus who now means to use her as leverage against her father.

In the meantime however a chance roadside meeting had led Cassia and Milo to meet. Sparks flew immediately, an event not unnoticed by Ariadne (Lucas), Cassia’s servant. However, Milo has more to worry about – he is set to meet Atticus (Akinnuoye-Agbaje), a champion gladiator who needs one more win to earn his freedom. The two end up respecting one another and becoming unlikely allies. However, Vesuvius is rumbling, the clock is ticking and all Hell is about to be unleashed on the city that sleeps at its base.

Anderson is no stranger to effects movies with budgets that are far from extravagant as a veteran of the Resident Evil series. Like several of those movies, the CGI run hot and cold with in the case of Pompeii some of the green screen effects of the city stretching off in the distance and the mountain rising ominously in the distance look exactly like green screen effects. Nonetheless during the sequences in which the mountain is erupting in full fury and visiting its wrath upon the city below, the effects can be breathtaking – at times it seems like the ash floating down from the sky are going to nestle into your lap. Although I saw the standard version, friends and colleagues who have seen the 3D version have asserted that it is one of the best in that department.

Harrington, best known as the Stark bastard Jon Snow in the Game of Thrones HBO series, bulked up considerably for the role and while not having a whole lot of dialogue (Milo is depicted as being a brooding, unfriendly sort), nonetheless shows great promise as at least an action film leading man and maybe for other types of roles in the future as well. However, the wispy facial hair has to go – it makes him look like a high school junior.

The doe-eyed Browning never really seems to grasp what her character is supposed to be; at times she is a strong, Roman-style feminist who has more cojones than her milksop father. At other times she is a helpless damsel in distress. I don’t think this is a particular problem with Browning so much as a problem with the writing. I suspect that the character would have been strong throughout but the powers that be might have taken a hand in it.

Sutherland chews the scenery as the corrupt and vicious Corvus but has a good time doing it (although I can’t help thinking what Jack Bauer would have done in a season of 24 set in Pompeii). Yeah, he’s over-the-top but why the hell not? The whole city is about to be buried under tons of lava and ash after all so why not make a mark while there’s still a mark to be made. His arrogant patrician muscle Proculus, portrayed by Roiz who some may know better as Grimm‘s Captain Renard makes an ideal foil. Finally Akinnuoye-Agbaje is fine in what is essentially the same role played by Djimon Hounsou in Gladiator which is a much superior film.

Much of the reason this doesn’t measure up is that the story is so ludicrous and takes liberties with simple common sense. Why would anyone want to piss off a trained killer as happens repeatedly throughout the film? Historical evidence shows us that ancient Romans tread carefully around gladiators simply because as slaves who had only death to look forward to they had nothing to lose if they killed a tormentor. Quite the opposite, gladiators were treated with respect and honor.

Still, if one forgives the movie its pedestrian and predictable plot, the effects and action are certainly worthwhile. It’s the portions in between these action and special effects sequences that are often excruciating and leave one longing for a pyroclastic cloud  to come your way.

REASONS TO GO: Harrington a promising leading man. Some nifty disaster effects.

REASONS TO STAY: Hokey story. Some of the green screen effects are pretty poor.

FAMILY VALUES:  Gladiator battle-type violence, some of it bloody as well as disaster-related action – people getting crushed by falling masonry and so on. There is also some implied sensuality.

TRIVIAL PURSUIT: Harrington underwent a regimen to attain the absolutely ripped body of Milo by going on a 3000 calorie diet for five weeks in what he called his “bulking” regimen. He cut back on this and went on a four week “cutting” regimen with intense training. During this time he went to the gym three times a day six days a week, developing body dysmorphia – extreme anxiety about the appearance of one’s body – forcing his trainer to step in and reign in the regimen. However, Harrington was very pleased with the overall results and proclaimed himself in the best shape of his life.

CRITICAL MASS: As of 3/4/14: Rotten Tomatoes: 25% positive reviews. Metacritic: 40/100.

COMPARISON SHOPPING: Volcano

FINAL RATING: 5/10

NEXT: The Past

New Releases for the Week of February 21, 2014

POMPEII

(TriStar) Kit Harrington, Carrie-Anne Moss, Emily Browning, Kiefer Sutherland, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, Paz Vega, Jessica Lucas, Jared Harris. Directed by Paul W.S. Anderson

A gladiator falls in love with the daughter of a patrician merchant who instead goes ahead to betroth her to a corrupt Roman senator. All this becomes less of an issue when Mt. Vesuvius blows it’s top and the residents of Pompeii must race against time to avoid becoming charcoal briquettes.

See the trailer, clips and a promo here.

For more on the movie this is the website.

Release formats: Standard, 3D (opened Thursday)

Genre: Swords and Sandals

Rating: PG-13 (for intense battle sequences, disaster-related action and brief sexual content)

3 Days to Kill

(Relativity) Kevin Costner, Amber Heard, Hailee Steinfeld, Connie Nielsen. One of the agency’s top field agents is anxious to leave his profession behind to spend more time with his estranged wife and daughter whom he’d kept at arm’s length so that he could keep them out of danger. However when he contracts a virulent fatal disease, he is forced to undertake one more mission so that he might get an experimental cure.

See the trailer, a promo and a clip here.

For more on the movie this is the website.

Release formats: Standard

Genre: Action

Rating: PG-13 (for intense sequences of violence and action, some sensuality and language)

Highway

(UTV) Alia Bhatt, Randeep Hooda, Durgesh Kumar, Pradeep Nagar. A vivacious young woman, on her way to being married, is kidnapped by a group of brutal men for ransom. At first she is terrified. Her father due to his position is unwilling to pay the ransom. The leader of the gang who kidnapped her refuses to let her go. As the stalemate progresses the victim begins to develop feelings for her captor.

See the trailer here.

For more on the movie this is the website.

Release formats: Standard

Genre: Drama

Rating: NR

In Secret

(Roadside Attractions/LD) Elizabeth Olsen, Tom Felton, Jessica Lange, Oscar Isaac. In glittering Paris of the 1860s, a beautiful young woman – sexually repressed and trapped in a loveless marriage overseen by her domineering aunt – embarks on an affair with an exciting young man. The ramifications of her actions will lead to tragic consequences. This is the most recent remake of the classic Emile Zola novel Therese Raquin.

See the trailer and clips here.

For more on the movie this is the website.

Release formats: Standard

Genre: Bollywood

Rating: R (for sexual content and brief violent images)

The Past

(Sony Classics) Berenice Bejo, Tahar Rahim, Ali Mosaffa, Pauline Burlet. Returning from Tehran to Paris after a four year separation, an Iranian husband arrives to finalize the divorce from his Parisian wife. However, once there he discovers a tense situation with her teenage daughter and her impending marriage to her new boyfriend bothers him more than he thought it might. On top of all of it, a secret from their past might just tear their fragile world apart.

See the trailer here.

For more on the movie this is the website.

Release formats: Standard

Genre: Drama

Rating: PG-13 (for mature thematic material and brief strong language)

Starting Over Again

(Star Cinema) Toni Gonzaga, Piolo Pascual. Iza Calzado. Four years after their breakup, a couple are brought back together when her architectural firm is selected to restore an old Manila mansion to be repurposed as a restaurant and he turns out to be the new eatery’s co-owner. However her feelings that this chance encounter is fate’s way of telling her she needs to seize her second chance and run with it may be derailed when she discovers that he intends to use the restaurant as a means of proposing to his American girlfriend.

See the trailer here.

For more on the movie this is the website.

Release formats: Standard

Genre: Drama

Rating: NR

The Reluctant Fundamentalist

Which one will blink first?

(2012) Drama (IFC) Riz Ahmed, Kate Hudson, Kiefer Sutherland, Liev Schreiber, Om Puri, Shabana Azmi, Martin Donovan, Nelsan Ellis, Haluk Bilginer, Meesha Shafi, Imaad Shah, Chris Smith, Ashwath Batt, Sarah Quinn, Chandrachur Singh, Adil Hussain, Ali Sethi, Deepti Datt, Gary Richardson, Victor Slezak, Ashlyn Henson, Cait Johnson. Directed by Mira Nair

What creates a terrorist? How does one go from being a devout member of one’s religion to a wild-eyed fanatic willing to kill – and die – for his/her faith?

After an American professor (Richardson) is kidnapped after attending a movie in Lahore, Pakistan, a colleague of his at the university, Changez Khan (Ahmed) is interviewed by journalist Bobby Lincoln (Schreiber). Changez has fallen under suspicion of being connected to a terrorist group mainly based on his anti-American rhetoric and firebrand speeches in the classroom  He’d also met with a notorious terrorist cell leader

However,  Changez had started out as a rapidly pro-American, a big believer in the American dream. Born in Lahore to a poet (Puri) and a housewife (Azmi) who had been well-to-do at one time but who had blown through the money they had as poetry even in Pakistan isn’t a job that brings in high earnings. Changez gets a scholarship to Princeton and when he graduates is pegged by Jim Cross (Sutherland) to be a gifted evaluator of business worth which makes him a valuable commodity with a bright future at Underwood Samson who evaluate the value of companies and come up with ways to increase that value. It’s a pretty lucrative field and Changez looks to be on the fast track to success.

As he banters with his friends Wainwright (Ellis), Clea (Quinn) and Rizzo (Smith), Changez falls for Erica (Hudson), the artistic niece of  Underwood Samson’s CEO. It isn’t long before they move in together, although Erica has a deep melancholy – her previous boyfriend had died in a car accident and she’s still grieving. Even though Changez moves slowly and gives her as much leeway as she wants and she clearly has feelings for him, she still feels like she’s cheating on her dead lover.

Everything changes though when the Twin Towers come down on 9/11. Changez is in Manila on business when it happens and when he finally comes home, he is stripped and forced to undergo a humiliating body cavity search. People begin to view Changez with suspicion, particularly now that he’s sporting a beard to reconnect with his Pakistani roots. He is growing more and more distant from his family which hits him hard when he goes home for his sister Bina’s (Shafi) wedding.

The final straw is when he goes to Turkey to evaluate a publishing company that one of Underhill Samson’s clients had just purchased. Even though the company had done much to promulgate Turkish culture and that of their neighbors (Changez’ dad had even had a book of his poems published there) the numbers point to liquidating the assets and shuttering the doors. Changez has an epiphany and refuses to do it. He quits his job and returns home, finding a job teaching.

So now things in Lahore are a powderkeg as American CIA and local police are detaining and arresting students at the University and conducting random searches. Even Changez’ family has received a visit of the state police simply because of their association with him. It won’t take much for this powderkeg to blow. So how involved is Changez with the kidnapping. Had his treatment in America paved the way for his conversion into jihadism? Or is he simply an innocent victim of circumstance?

Nair, who has on her resume some impressive efforts (not the least of which are Monsoon Wedding and The Namesake) has another one to add to that list. Based on a novel by Mohsin Hamid that is largely a monologue by Changez, she utilizes some brilliant cinematography and a terrific cast to explore the complex themes of the book.

Changez is largely a cypher. On the surface he seems a gentle, kind soul who adheres to non-violence but in practice he spent his Wall Street career practicing a kind of economic violence. While he eventually turns away from it, there is that sense that he is blaming America for allowing him to willingly participate in an admittedly immoral career. He made his choices but took no responsibility for them even after he quit. In that sense, Changez is unlikable and I personally find it a bit refreshing to have a character who turns a blind eye towards his own imperfections – most of us are like that.

Ahmed, a Pakistani-born British rapper and actor has a great deal of charisma and reminds me of a young Oded Fehr in looks and manner. He holds his own in his scenes with Schreiber who is an excellent actor so it’s no small feat. Their scenes are the most compelling in the film and it is their confrontation that provides the essence of the film.

Sutherland and Puri do great work in supporting roles. Hudson, who is also capable of strong roles, kind of gets a little lost here – it could be that she plays her character, who is weak and clings to her grief like Linus and his security blanket, too well. There are never the kind of sparks between her and Ahmed that I would have liked to have seen although that possibly was deliberate on Nair’s part. However, a good deal of time is spent on the relationship between Erica and Changez and quite frankly that is the weakest part of the story.

The film’s climax is powerful as we are left to ponder whether we are creating our own enemies out of our own arrogance and insensitivity, which I think is clearly the case. If so, then we come by that hatred honestly but we refuse to acknowledge it, one more reason for people in other countries to despise us. It isn’t until the final five minutes of the film that we discover where Changez’ sympathies lie and whether or not he is involved in the kidnapping. In a way it’s almost a moot point; ultimately this isn’t about who Changez is. It’s about who we are.

REASONS TO GO: Thought-provoking and balanced. Fine performances by Ahmed, Sutherland, Schreiber, Puri and Ellis.

REASONS TO STAY: The film is far more powerful when focusing on Changez’ conflicting feelings about America than on his relationship with Erica.

FAMILY VALUES:  There is a fair amount of swearing, some violence and a bit of sexuality.

TRIVIAL PURSUIT: Hudson was initially unable to do the film because she was pregnant at the time that shooting was scheduled to take place. When shooting was delayed until after she had her baby, Hudson was able to take the role.

CRITICAL MASS: As of 10/1/13: Rotten Tomatoes: 55% positive reviews. Metacritic: 54/100

COMPARISON SHOPPING: Syriana

FINAL RATING: 7.5/10

NEXT: Rush (2013)

Melancholia

 

Kirsten Dunst is sinking fast.

(2011) Science Fiction (Magnolia) Kirsten Dunst, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Kiefer Sutherland, John Hurt, Stellan Skarsgard, Alexander Skarsgard, Charlotte Rampling, Brady Corbet, Jesper Christensen, Udo Kier, Cameron Spurr. Directed by Lars von Trier

It is not often you root for the end of the world at a movie.

Lars von Trier is a Danish director of some renown who is known for movies with remarkable imagery and an artistic aesthetic. His films sharply divide audiences; some proclaim that he is a genius, others a charlatan. Critics tends to moon over him like a lovesick teenager.

I try to take each film as it comes to me, and not review the filmmaker so much as his work. I will say this; I’m not the sort of person Lars von Trier makes movies for. It’s not that I have a problem with trying to make something that is art; I respect any attempt to do so and encourage it. There is room in the world for all sorts of palettes.

But then there is Art. The kind of thing that is created by people who think Art is above everything, who deliberately try to shock and disturb not so much to make a point or even force the viewer to confront their own viewpoints but simply to grab attention. I view this with the same affection I have for a child screaming at the top of their lungs in an inappropriate setting; the message that is being sent is “Look at me! Look at me!”

The film here is divided into two parts, preceded by a prologue of images that essentially tell you the story in a series of slow-moving interactive pictures many of which appear on the trailer. The first part is entitled Justine and is about the character of the same name. Justine (Dunst) is a brand new bride who is at her wedding reception at the home of her super-wealthy brother-in-law John (Sutherland) who is married to her sister Claire (Gainsbourg).

Among the wedding guests are Justine’s parents, Dexter (Hurt) and Gaby (Rampling) – who along with Claire have British accents, something Justine doesn’t have – and who don’t get along at all. Dexter is a bit of a womanizer and Gaby somewhat bitchy. Also there is Justine’s boss Jack (Stellan Skarsgard) who is also her husband Michael’s (Alexander Skarsgard) best man. Jack is tightly focused on getting a tag-line for an advertisement Justine has been working on and sends Tim (Corbet) to get it.

It turns out Justine has some psychological problems, ranging from clinical depression to possibly bipolar disorder and like her mom she’s also a bit of a bitch. She manages to alienate nearly everyone at the wedding. For the viewer, it’s like being at a party that gets more and more awkward to attend. Da Queen was urging me to leave the party but like witnessing a train wreck, I felt compelled to see what the damage would wind up being.

The second part is entitled Claire and shows her, John and their son Leo (Spurr) coping with the sudden appearance of Justine some time after the wedding. She is pale, nearly inert and looked for all the world like an addict coming down from a major bender. The atmosphere is tense with John fed up with Justine’s antics and Claire trying to appeal to her sister in some way.

Hanging over all of this, literally, is planet Melancholia, a gigantic rock that suddenly appeared from behind the sun and is threatening to collide with Earth. While John insists that Melancholia will merely pass by, Justine seems convinced that the Earth is doomed. She knows things, after all.

Having a character “know things” is a bit of a cop out. It’s lazy writing. I will grant you that Dunst, who won the Best Actress award at the Cannes Film Festival for her work here, gives a brave performance, having to urinate in her bridal gown on a golf course, portray a character who isn’t very likable at times and turns up stark naked and sexually aroused at the sight of the approaching planet.

I suppose there are metaphors here and I suppose that I’m not getting them. For me, this was an excruciating two hours that seemed a pointless exercise in making pretty images, which I grant you were in some cases breathtaking, gallery worthy. However, the movie did nothing for me but leave me with an angry wife who demanded an explanation as to why I’d dragged her to the Enzian to see this.

Again, I don’t have a beef with trying to create a work of art. But there’s art and then there’s Art. The difference is that the former is a communication between the artist and the audience, a point that is being made or some insight imparted. The latter is an exercise in self-indulgence.

I have written a review that could easily have been condensed to two words, but I’m making a point. All of these words I’m putting to page are extraneous and ultimately superfluous. They are unnecessary wastes of time for you, the reader for which I apologize. All of the review you need to read is this: Fuck Art.

REASONS TO GO: Some pretty images and Dunst makes a brave effort.

REASONS TO STAY: Where to begin? Pretentious, overbearing, badly written, aggravating, awkward – it’s just a mess masquerading as art.

FAMILY VALUES: Graphic nudity, sex and implied masturbation, as well as some bad language.

TRIVIAL PURSUIT: The above image, used in the movie’s poster and briefly seen in the prologue, is based on John Everett Millais’s 1852 painting Ophelia.

HOME OR THEATER: Don’t do it. For the love of God, don’t do it.

FINAL RATING: 1/10

TOMORROW: Winnie the Pooh

New Releases for the Week of November 25, 2011

THE MUPPETS

(Disney) Jason Segel, Amy Adams, Chris Cooper, Rashida Jones, Alan Arkin, Jack Black, Billy Crystal, Zach Galifianakis, Kermit the Frog, Miss Piggy. Directed by James Bobin

It’s been awhile since we’ve seen the Muppets onscreen and quite frankly, the lot of them have gone their separate ways. Some of their fans still carry the torch however, and one of them learns that the Muppets Theater, where their show took place, is about to be bulldozed to the ground by a greedy oilman who wants to drill into the oil deposit below the theater. Energized to save his beloved Muppets, he enlists the help of a whole lot of celebrities to help save the day – but can he get the Muppets back together again?

See the trailer, clips and web-only content here.

For more on the movie this is the website.

Release formats: Standard

Genre: Family

Rating: PG (for some mild rude humor)

Arthur Christmas

(Columbia/Sony Animation) Starring the voices of James McAvoy, Jim Broadbent, Hugh Laurie, Bill Nighy. Santa Claus has gone high tech. The increasing world population has meant that the North Pole’s gift-delivering operation has had to make some changes, much to the chagrin of several generations of Santas including the ne’er-do-well younger son, Arthur. When it appears a child has been overlooked, it will be up to Arthur to deliver it old-school, and in the process restore everyone’s faith in Christmas. This is the latest from the wonderfully warped minds at Aardman animation.

See the trailer here.

For more on the movie this is the website

Release formats: Standard, 3D

Genre: Animated Feature

Rating: PG (for some mild rude humor)

The Descendants

(Fox Searchlight) George Clooney, Beau Bridges, Robert Forster, Judy Greer. A somewhat indifferent husband and father is forced to face his responsibilities and come to terms with his past when his wife is involved in a boating accident in Hawaii. He discovers that his view of the world is not necessarily what reality is, and that there are things that are worth fighting for.

See the trailer, clips and a featurette here.

For more on the movie this is the website.

Release formats: Standard

Genre: Dramedy

Rating: R (for language including some sexual references)

Hugo

(Paramount) Asa Butterfield, Chloe Grace Moretz, Sacha Baron Cohen, Jude Law. A young boy finds a home in a Paris train station after a series of tragic circumstances. He finds that his father has left him an automaton with an odd heart-shaped lock. The search for the key that fits that lock will lead to an adventure of magic and mystery unlike any other you’ve ever seen – and this was directed by Martin Scorsese, so that alone should whet your appetite.

See the trailer, clips, featurettes and an interview here.

For more on the movie this is the website.

Release formats: Standard, 3D

Genre: Family

Rating: PG (for mild thematic material, some action/peril and smoking)

Melancholia

(Magnolia) Kirsten Dunst, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Alexander Skarsgard, Kiefer Sutherland. As a planetoid approaches the Earth on a collision course, a young newlywed awaits the end of the world with her friends and family. This film became infamous for director Lars von Trier’s meltdown at the Cannes Film Festival where Dunst won the best actress award at the prestigious festival.

See the trailer, clips, an interview and a link to view the full-length film here.

For more on the movie this is the website

Release formats: Standard

Genre: Sci-Fi Thriller

Rating: R (for some graphic nudity, sexual content and languge)

My Week With Marilyn

(Weinstein) Eddie Redmayne, Michelle Williams, Kenneth Branagh, Judi Dench. A 23-year-old assistant on the film set of the 1956 classic The Prince and the Showgirl becomes attracted to Marilyn Monroe, starring in the film with Sir Laurence Olivier and simultaneously on her honeymoon with playwright Arthur Miller. When Marilyn yearns to get away from the pressures of the film and of being Marilyn Monroe, he takes her away for a week to show her the pleasures of idyllic British country life.

See the trailer and clips here.

For more on the movie this is the website.

Release formats: Standard

Genre: Biographical Drama

Rating: R (for some language)

Mirrors

You should see what Jack Bauer does with more than 24 hours...

(2008) Supernatural Horror (20^th Century Fox) Kiefer Sutherland, Paula Patton, Cameron Boyce, Erica Gluck, Amy Smart, Mary Beth Peil, John Shrapnel, Jason Flemyng, Julian Glover, Tim Ahern, Josh Cole, Ezra Buzzington.  Directed by Alexandre Aja

There are questions in the universe that bear asking – some of them are not what you’d call obvious. For example, if eyes are the mirrors of the soul, does that mean that mirrors are the eyes for the soul too?

Ben Carson (Sutherland) has taken a few hits to the soul lately. A recovering alcoholic – not a good place to be if you’re a cop – he was involved in a shooting that left an undercover cop dead. His antics have alienated his wife Amy (Patton) to the point where she’s kicked him out of the house, severely limiting his contact with son Michael (Boyce) and daughter Daisy (Gluck). He’s been suspended from the force and is reduced to sleeping on his sister Angela’s (Smart) couch.

He gets a job as a night watchman at the Mayflower Department Store. A burned-out husk that is awaiting resolution of an insurance company squabble, it was the site of a fatal fire years ago. Soot coats nearly every square inch except for the many pristine mirrors, oddly looking polished and untouched.

He begins seeing strange images in the mirrors, horrible murders that come to pass. He has terrifying, realistic hallucinations of burning alive. The mirrors begin to communicate tasks that he is expected to do, and when Ben resists, family members are threatened and even killed. Soon, Ben is in a fight of his life against an enemy that is supernatural – one that can travel to any mirror or in fact, any reflective surface – and can kill with its reflection. His only salvation may lie with a cloistered nun who is not exactly jumping at the chance to help.

Aja is one of the most promising up-and-coming directors in the horror genre. His French films – particularly High Tension and his remake of The Hills Have Eyes are strong from a visual standpoint, and he knows how to make characters relatable. The visual sense of Mirrors is pretty dark, which you would expect in a deserted, burned-out department store. Sometimes underlit is a good thing, and it adds to the creepy element.

The effects are a little on the chintzy side – the mirrors use a kind of television static ripple effect that looks a little bit like a low-rent Ring. However, there are some pretty successful moments, such as a death scene in which a naked woman in a bathtub is killed by her reflection pulling off her mandible. It’s one of the highlights of the movie.

Most people know Kiefer Sutherland through his TV show “24” and this role isn’t too different than Jack Bauer. Ben is a little more damaged than Jack (I know, I know, Jack is plenty damaged) but they’re both men of action who when backed up to the wall. He has demonstrated a terrific action hero persona and there’s no doubt in my mind that if he continues to pursue parts like this, he’ll continue to be successful. This is the perfect role for him.

Smart is one of those actresses who just does a good job every time out. She doesn’t get big time leading roles but whenever she gets a part, she runs with it. Patton is a beautiful actress who has little else to do but look beautiful. I would have loved to see more motherly instincts from her when her kids are threatened; she doesn’t seem anxious enough.

The movie is a bit on the talky side; too many conversations between Patton and Sutherland about how they really should be together but she just can’t get past his actions and he needs to get his act together…okay, we get it. Other than that, this is a competent horror film that while a bit pedestrian about the whole mirror conceit, has plenty of scares, enough to recommend it.

WHY RENT THIS: Aja is one of horror’s most promising visual stylists. Sutherland has plenty of charisma in the lead role; Smart has a memorable supporting role.

WHY RENT SOMETHING ELSE: Could have been a little less talky.

FAMILY VALUES: There are lots of images that may be too intense for youngsters, plenty of violence and bad language and some nudity.

TRIVIAL PURSUIT: The unfinished Academy of Sciences building in Bucharest, Romania doubled for the nearly-demolished Mayflower Department Store.

NOTABLE DVD EXTRAS: The Blu-Ray edition includes a vignette showing Anna Esseker’s none-too-cheerful childhood, and there is also a featurette on the role of mirrors in urban legends and myth that may well be more informative and interesting than the movie.

BOX OFFICE PERFORMANCE: $77.5M on an unreported production budget; the movie was undoubtedly a hit.

FINAL RATING: 6/10

TOMORROW: The Rocket

New Releases for the Week of August 6, 2010

Will Ferrell has Mark Wahlberg fit to be tied.

THE OTHER GUYS

(Columbia) Will Ferrell, Mark Wahlberg, Samuel L. Jackson, Dwayne Johnson, Steve Coogan, Eva Mendez, Michael Keaton, Ray Stevenson. Directed by Adam McKay

Danson and Manzetti are the city’s two most celebrated cops, collaring bad guy after bad guy. Gamble and Holtz aren’t quite up to their level; Gamble is a forensic accountant who would much rather sit in the office analyzing the paper trail, while Holtz has been banished to being Gamble’s partner after an itchy trigger finger put him in hot water with the Captain. These two unlikeliest of heroes will be called upon to save the day but as things usually do for the other guys, things don’t go quite the way they intend them to. McKay and Farrell have previously teamed up for movies like Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby and Step Brothers.

See the trailer and a clip here.

For more on the movie this is the website.

Release formats: Standard

Rating: PG-13 (for crude and sexual content, language, violence and some drug material)

The Girl Who Played With Fire

(Music Box) Roomi Napace, Michael Nyqvist, Lena Endre, Sofia Ledarp. The second installment in the Millennium trilogy penned by Swedish journalist Stieg Larsson sees the publisher of Millennium magazine, who has made his living exposing corruption in high places, throwing himself once more into the fray when a young journalist comes to him with a story of sex trafficking in Sweden that goes up to the highest levels of authority. During the investigation, the computer hacker who works with the publisher is accused of three brutal murders, forcing her to go on the run while the publisher clears her name. The two stories turn out to be interrelated. The first book, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, made serious waves in the indie film circuit and is being remade into a major studio property being directed by David Fincher scheduled for release on December 23, 2011. The third of the Swedish films, The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest will see a limited American release this fall.

See the trailer and clips here.

For more on the movie this is the website.

Release formats: Standard

Rating: R (for brutal violence including a rape, some strong sexual content, nudity and language)

Step Up 3D

(Touchstone) Adam Sevani, Rick Malambri, Sharni Vinson, Alyson Stoner. A group of street dancers from the Bronx team up with a freshman at NYU to take on the world in a global breakdancing showdown that will change their lives forever. One wonders how relevant a movie is when their official website is a MySpace page.

See the trailer, featurettes, music videos and a promo here.

For more on the movie this is the website.

Release formats: Standard, 3D

Rating: PG-13 (for brief strong language)

Twelve

(Hannover House) Chace Crawford, Emma Roberts, Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson, Kiefer Sutherland. A high school dropout turned drug dealer is living the good life; his Upper East Side clientele of boarding school preppies are keeping his business booming and he is able to successfully hide his secret life from his girlfriend. Things take an ugly turn when a new recreation drug du jour called Twelve is introduced into the market and his cousin is brutally murdered on an East Harlem playground. Now he is going to have to survive in a world he’s woefully ill-equipped to handle. This is based on the controversial novel by Nick McDonnell.

See the trailer here.

For more on the movie this is the website.

Release formats: Standard

Rating: R (for strong drug content, alcohol abuse, language, sexual material, brief nudity and some violence – all involving teens)

Monsters vs. Aliens

When a 50 foot woman and an alien robot get together, it's time for urban renewal.

(DreamWorks Animation) Starring the voices of Reese Witherspoon, Seth Rogen, Kiefer Sutherland, Hugh Laurie, Stephen Colbert, Will Arnett, Rainn Wilson, Paul Rudd, Jeffrey Tambor, Renee Zellweger, John Krasinski. Directed by Rob Letterman and Conrad Vernon.

Monsters represent our fear of the things in the darkness of the world we know. Aliens represent our fear of the things in the darkness of the world we don’t. Sometimes it’s the devil we know that’s preferable.

It is Susan Murphy’s (Witherspoon) wedding day. She’s marrying local weathercaster Derek Dietl (Rudd), an egocentric sort with dreams of anchoring a network news desk. For now he has the weather in Modesto to contend with. Unfortunately, Susan’s big day is going to have a bit of a snag – she is struck by a meteorite which makes her glow – then it makes her grow. A fifty foot bride can give a groom second thoughts for sure.

She’s trundled off to a top secret facility where the government has been housing monsters for years, presided by deranged General W.R. Monger (Sutherland). Currently in captivity are the mad scientist Dr. Cockroach (Laurie), who’s really a nice guy at heart even if he is a cockroach that can build a computer out of a few spare parts and a couple of pizza boxes. There’s also the Missing Link (Arnett), a sort of semi-amphibious relative of Hellboy’s Abe Sapien; the brainless amorphic gelatinous mass that is B.O.B. (Rogen) and a giant caterpillar named Insectosaurus.

Meanwhile, an alien wants the meteorite that made Susan into Ginormica. His name is Gallaxhar (Wilson) and he’s essentially a squid with a large forehead that reminded me of the comic book character Sinestro, and not in a good way. He sends a giant robot to retrieve the meteorite. The combined might of America’s armed forced aren’t enough to stop the robot, and the President (Colbert) is desperate. He needs a miracle. He needs…monsters.

In all honesty, some of the elements here smack at commercialism. The title screams high concept, and in some ways the monsters seem to be designed more for merchandising than to have any sort of meaningful personalities. Still, directors Letterman and Vernon are fortunate that their voice cast does a terrific job. Witherspoon is dandy as Susan, whose self-confidence takes a hit when her boyfriend dumps her and Rogen as the cheerfully mindless B.O.B. steals nearly every scene. Not everyone can fall in love with a Jell-o mold convincingly, but Rogen does it.

As with most kid movies, there are some life lessons to be found here, mostly having to do with being strange and different, and celebrating those unique things. Far from being scary, the monsters are just like us and are far more oppressed by us than we are by them. This isn’t a new point but at least is a valid one.

The script seems a bit rote to me. In recent years we’ve been besieged by computer animated features of varying quality. At the top of the food chain are the Pixar movies, which have grown more and more sophisticated – not only in terms of the technical aspect, but also in the stories being told – as the years have gone by. Other animation divisions, trying to cash in on the lucrative animated feature market owned by Disney for so long, have had some successes (such as Shrek, Kung Fu Panda and Ice Age) but for the most part haven’t been able to capture that quality. Here, we’re a long ways off. While some of the jokes are legitimately funny, for the most part there is nothing here the average ten-year-old hasn’t seen many times before.

I need to make a comment on the 3D version. The movie is being released both in regular 2D and 3D versions. The 3D was made in the new True-3D process, which DreamWorks Animation boss Jeffrey Katzenberg has hailed as “the future of the movie business.” Maybe so, and in all honesty, it’s quite impressive. Did the movie need to be in 3D? I can’t say that it did. It feels a bit gimmicky, as most 3D movies do. Roger Ebert’s review went on for quite awhile, snarling about 3D in general, labeling it “distracting and unnecessary.” He has a point, but the 3D process doesn’t really affect the movie in one way or the other.

That kids are going to love this is a given. There are marketable creatures in bright colors that are going to appeal to every seven-year-old on the block. The question is, how agonizing is it going to be for their parents to sit through it? Not terribly so, although it won’t go down as easily as, say, Wall-E with discerning moviegoers. Still, this movie is about as brainless as B.O.B. and just as inoffensive. It’s cinematic Jell-O and while there’s nothing intrinsically wrong with that, if you’re looking for something more substantial, you’ll be better served looking elsewhere.

WHY RENT THIS: The kids will love this. The voice cast actually elevates the material, particularly Witherspoon and Rogen.

WHY RENT SOMETHING ELSE: The writing is a bit stale, and smacks of a movie that was created strictly for merchandising potential.

FAMILY VALUES: None of the monsters or aliens is particularly threatening or frightening.

TRIVIAL PURSUIT: The character of B.O.B. is an homage to The Blob, Dr. Cockroach an homage to The Fly, Insectosaurus to Mothra and Susan to The Incredible 50-Foot Woman.

NOTABLE DVD EXTRAS: The Blu-Ray and 2-Disc Ginormous DVD editions contain the B.O.B.’s Big Break short in both 2D and 3D (both come with four pairs of 3D glasses), as well as a 3D paddle ball game. The Blu-Ray also comes with a trivia track, while these additions and the single disc basic edition also come with a digital animation video jukebox.

FINAL RATING: 7/10

TOMORROW: Management