Rampage


George of the Urban Jungle and the Rock try to out-scary face one another.

(2018) Adventure (New Line) Dwayne Johnson, Naomie Harris, Malin Akerman, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Jake Lacy, Joe Manganiello, Marley Shelton, P.J. Byrne, Demetrius Grosse, Jack Quaid, Breanne Hill, Matt Gerald, Will Yun Lee, Urijah Faber, Bruce Blackshear, Jason Liles, Mat Wells, Stephen Dunleavy, Danny Le Boyer, Alan Boell, Alyssa Brooke. Directed by Brad Peyton

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from the movies, it’s that when you mess with mother nature it tends to come back and bite you in the ass eventually. That’s a lesson that seems lost on modern corporate America (and the regulatory agencies that are supposed to reign them in but that’s a different story).

When a space station explodes after a lab rat gets loose and tears the crew apart, the pathogen that caused the rat to mutate falls back to Earth, affecting a gator in the Everglades, a wolf in the Minnesota woods – and a gentle albino ape who dwells in the San Diego zoo. The primatologist who is studying George, Davis Okoye (Johnson) is understandably peeved but when government sorts led by the cheerful and shamefully Texan Harvey Russell (Morgan), the Rock’s biceps begin to twitch. When George, like the wolf and the alligator, begins to grow in size to something approaching a Japanese monster movie, behave aggressively and even savagely (they’re animals; who knew?) and for a fairly ludicrous plot reason decide to converge on Chicago and tear the city limb from limb, well the eyebrows arch and the people’s elbow start itching for a fight.

Based on an Atari-era videogame (the console box for which can be seen in the background of the office of the sibling corporate types (Akerman and Lacy) who are behind the pathogen, the movie seemed to have all the elements of a summer blockbuster, particularly Johnson whose easygoing charm and likability have propelled him onto the Hollywood A-list. However, Johnson is essentially on autopilot here. This is far from his finest hour and although he’s not the reason this movie fails to succeed (a painfully cliché script is largely to glame), he certainly doesn’t elevate it either.

Morgan as the federal agent who really wants to be a Texas Ranger and Akerman as a heartless corporate bitch are actually the actors who are the most watchable here. The CGI creations are also pretty nifty. However the mayhem – like many Transformers movies – is so overwhelming it becomes almost too much to take in; the mind becomes numbed to the carnage as buildings fall, helicopters are swatted from the sky and people are eaten like…well, energy pills in a videogame which in the original game, people were.

I’m not against mindless fun but the filmmakers ask us to take an awful lot on faith and after awhile the plot holes become too enormous to overcome. The human characters tend to be more like cartoons than the CGI which I find ironic in an amusing kind of way but I didn’t at the time I was watching this. There were a lot of things that could have been done with this premise to make this film better than it turned out to be but Peyton and perhaps the studio suits went the tried and true safe route and ended up making a cookie cutter movie that is neither satisfying or even more than barely recommendable.

REASONS TO GO: Morgan and Akerman acquit themselves well. The CGI is excellent.
REASONS TO STAY: This movie is dumb as a rock. Most of the characters are straight out of cartoons.
FAMILY VALUES: There is a whole lot of video game-like violence, destruction and general mayhem. There’s also some brief mild profanity  and some crude gestures.
TRIVIAL PURSUIT: Despite the tepid aggregate score, Rampage is currently the highest-scoring video game adaptation in the history of Rotten Tomatoes.
BEYOND THE THEATERS:  Amazon, Fandango Now, Google Play, iTunes, Movies Anywhere, Vudu
CRITICAL MASS: As of 9/10/18: Rotten Tomatoes: 53% positive reviews. Metacritic: 45/100.
COMPARISON SHOPPING: Kong: Skull Island
FINAL RATING: 5/10
NEXT:
Mercury 13

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New Releases for the Week of April 13, 2018


RAMPAGE

(New Line/Warner Brothers) Dwayne Johnson, Naomie Harris, Malin Akerman, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Joe Manganiello, Marley Shelton, P.J. Byrne. Directed by Brad Peyton

A rogue genetic experiment goes way out of control, turning normal animals into giant monsters. A primatologist whose friend – a rare and unusually intelligent white ape – is a victim of the experiment joins forces with a discredited scientist to come up with a cure not just to save humanity but to save his buddy.

See the trailer and video featurettes here.
For more on the movie this is the website.

Release Formats: Standard, 3D, DBOX, DBOX 3D, Dolby 3D, Dolby Atmos, IMAX, IMAX 3D, RPX, RPX 3D, XD, XD 3D
Genre: Action
Now Playing: Wide Release

Rating: PG-13 (for scenes of action, violence and destruction, brief language, and crude gestures)

Aardvark

(Great Point) Zachary Quinto, Jenny Slate, Jon Hamm, Sheila Vand. The brother of a TV star who has issues with his brother’s popularity falls under the care of a therapist who herself begins to develop obsessive behavior towards his brother. Unable to tell fantasy from reality easily, her patient begins to fall in love with a woman – it’s just that he isn’t sure if she is real or not.

See the trailer here.
For more on the movie this is the website

Release Formats: Standard
Genre: Dramedy
Now Playing: Regal Winter Park Village

Rating: PG-13 (for mature thematic issues, language, some sexuality and violence)

Beirut

(Bleecker Street) Jon Hamm, Rosamund Pike, Mark Pellegrino, Dean Norris. A disgraced diplomat who lost everything during an assignment to Beirut is forced to return to that city in the midst of the Lebanese Civil War in the 1980s to negotiate the safe return of his best friend, a CIA operative. However, everyone around him has their own agenda and there’s no way to know who to trust. You can read my review at the link below.

See the trailer, video featurettes and clips here.
For more on the movie this is the website

Release Formats: Standard
Genre: Thriller
Now Playing: AMC Altamonte Mall, AMC Disney Springs, Regal Pointe Orlando, Regal Waterford Lakes, Regal Winter Park Village, Rialto Spanish Springs Town Square (opened Wednesday)

Rating: R (for language, some violence and a brief nude image)

Krystal

(Great Point/Paladin) Nick Robinson, Rosario Dawson, Grant Gustin, William Fichtner. A young man who’s led a sheltered life falls hard for the most unlikely woman – a junkie/stripper/prostitute named Krystal. From a completely different world that might as well be another planet, he joins Alcoholics Anonymous even though he doesn’t drink just so he can be in the same room as her. Needless to say, his family does not approve William H. Mach directs this and has a supporting role as well.

See the trailer here.
For more on the movie this is the website

Release Formats: Standard
Genre: Drama
Now Playing: AMC Universal Cineplex

Rating: R (for language throughout, drug use, some nudity and brief sexuality)

Mercury

(Stone Bench) Galaraj, Ramya Nambeeshan, Prabhudheva, Sanath Reddy. Five childhood friends, all disfigured due to mercury poisoning in the town they grew up in, return for a high school reunion. However in a moment of mischief they disturb something that should have better been left alone. The movie was filmed without dialogue.

See the trailer here.
For more on the movie this is the website

Release Formats: Standard
Genre: Horror/Thriller
Now Playing: Cinemark Artegon Marketplace

Rating: NR

Sgt. Stubby: An American Hero

(Fun Academy) Starring the voices of Helena Bonham Carter, Logan Lerman, Gérard Depardieu, Jordan Beck. A soldier adopts a stray dog near the barracks during the First World War. That dog would go on to become the most decorated canine in American military history.

See the trailer here.
For more on the movie this is the website

Release Formats: Standard
Genre: Animated Feature
Now Playing: Wide Release

Rating: PG (for war action and some thematic elements)

Truth or Dare

(Blumhouse/Universal) Lucy Hale, Tyler Posey, Violett Beane, Sophia Ali. A group of friends playing what seems to be a harmless game of truth or dare discover that they have stumbled into a supernatural entity which insists the game be played properly. Those who lie or refuse to do the dare are punished – terminally.

See the trailer and video featurettes here.
For more on the movie this is the website

Release Formats: Standard
Genre: Horror
Now Playing: Wide Release

Rating: PG-13 (for violence and disturbing content, alcohol abuse, some sexuality, language and thematic material)

Where is Kyra?

(Great Point/Paladin) Michelle Pfeiffer, Kiefer Sutherland, Suzanne Shepherd, Sam Robards. An unemployed woman tries to find work and care for her ailing elderly mother as her debts continue to mount up. Desperation drives her to do a dangerous act in order to survive. Find a link to our recent review of this film below.

See the trailer here.
For more on the movie this is the website
Release Formats: Standard
Genre: Drama
Now Playing: Regal Winter Park Village
Rating: NR

ALSO OPENING IN ORLANDO/DAYTONA:

Krishnarjuna Yudham
Venemo

ALSO OPENING IN MIAMI/FT. LAUDERDALE:

20 Weeks
Back to Burgundy
Baja
Beauty and the Dogs
Big Fish and Begonia
Borg/McEnroe
Final Portrait
Gultoo
Ismael’s Ghosts
Krishnarjuna Yudham
Mister Lonely
October
Venemo
Women of the Venezuelan Chaos

ALSO OPENING IN TAMPA/ST. PETERSBURG:

Flock of Four
Krishnarjuna Yudham
October

ALSO OPENING IN JACKSONVILLE/ST. AUGUSTINE:

Fanny
Krishnarjuna Yudham
October
Pandas

SCHEDULED FOR REVIEW:

Back to Burgundy
Beirut
Borg/McEnroe
Rampage
Truth or Dare
Where is Kyra?

FILM FESTIVALS TAKING PLACE IN FLORIDA:

Florida Film Festival, Orlando FL
Sarasota Film Festival, Sarasota FL

Catch .44


Now, that's what I call a catch!

Now, that’s what I call a catch!

(2011) Action/Suspense (Anchor Bay) Malin Akerman, Nikki Reed, Deborah Ann Woll, Forest Whitaker, Bruce Willis, Shea Whigham, Jimmy Lee Jr., Brad Dourif, Jill Stokesberry, P.J. Marshall, Dan Silver, Michael Rosenbaum, Edrick Browne, Christopher Alan Weaver, Amanda Bosley, Ivory Dortch, Kevin Beard, Shelby Schneider, Nikita Kahn. Directed by Aaron Harvey

Some movies look like a good idea on paper. However, once the finished product gets out there, it doesn’t quite measure up. I suspect Catch .44 was something like that.

How else do you explain the outstanding cast for what turned out to be a direct-to-video turkey? The premise, which might have caught Quentin Tarantino’s eye once upon a time before he decided to reinvent the Western involves three gorgeous girls straight out of a Russ Meyers grindhouse movie, three badass chicks in a diner who have a mission for the man they’re employed by – Mel (Willis), an utter irredeemable lowlife drug dealer.

Things go South in a hurry, bullets fly and bodies drop. Whitaker shows up as a hit man to turn the Mexican standoff into a three-way. Who will walk out of the diner alive? Will anybody care which one does? The answer to the latter is likely “no.”

The oddball thing is that the main action of the movie occurs in the first five or ten minutes, then the rest of the movie is essentially a flashback to tell you how all the characters got there which, half an hour in, you’ll slowly begin to realize that rather than using the flashback as a means of giving the characters depth, there’s just a lot of pointless meandering going on and by that time you’ll likely want to switch the DVD player off. Tarantino’s Reservoir Dogs utilized much the same kind of format but was much more successful at utilizing it than Catch .44 did.

Harvey has a pretty decent visual sense – the movie looks good and he clearly was able to line up a top of the line cast. What he didn’t do was motivate them to perform up to their level of stardom. Whitaker is an Oscar winner and Willis one of the most charismatic stars of the last 20 years, but both of them seem to be sleepwalking. Whitaker affects a nearly indecipherable Spanish/Cajun accent and Willis essentially plays the standard Bruce Willis character, although there’s a surreal moment when someone plays “Respect” from his 80s attempt at rock and roll stardom, The Return of Bruno.

I did like Akerman in the lead role, and to a lesser extent Reed and Woll; Reed’s turn is a bit more sexual than the other two but frankly the script gives us little hint as to who these women are. That doesn’t give us a whole lot of incentive to identify with any of them.

I like the idea of three badass girls in a diner dealing with a deal gone wrong. We need movies like that, but we need good movies like that. Tarantino could have made a masterpiece out of this, as could a number of like-minded directors; Robert Rodriguez, for example. Sadly, this is just a forgettable bit of action fluff that starts out promising, goes nowhere and ends up in the dollar bin at Wal*Mart quicker than you can say “Is that all there is?”

WHY RENT THIS: Three beautiful girls. Nice premise. Great-looking, cinematically speaking..
WHY RENT SOMETHING ELSE: A bit clumsy in its execution. Most of the cast looks like they’re just there for the paycheck. Confusing storytelling.
FAMILY VALUES: A goodly amount of violence and foul language as well as a bit of sexuality.
TRIVIAL PURSUIT: Kate Mara and Lizzy Caplan were both originally cast but both dropped out of the movie, to be replaced by Reed and Woll, respectively.
NOTABLE DVD EXTRAS: None listed.
BOX OFFICE PERFORMANCE: Unknown box office on a $12M production budget.
SITES TO SEE: Netflix (DVD/Blu-Ray rental only), Amazon, iTunes, Vudu, Flixster
COMPARISON SHOPPING: The Killing Jar
FINAL RATING: 5/10
NEXT: In Bruges

New Releases for the Week of May 29, 2015


San AndreasSAN ANDREAS

(New Line) Dwayne Johnson, Carla Gugino, Alexandria Daddario, Ioan Gruffudd, Archie Panjabi, Paul Giamatti, Will Yun Lee, Kylie Minogue. Directed by Brad Peyton

All Californians know that the big one is inevitable and now it is upon them. As a 9.0 quake rocks Southern California, a daring rescue helicopter pilot and his estranged wife take a perilous journey north to find their daughter, off to college in San Francisco. However, as bad as things were, they may only be the beginning of worse things yet to come.

See the trailer, interviews, and a clip here.
For more on the movie this is the website.
Release Formats: Standard
Genre: Disaster
Now Playing: Wide Release (opens Thursday)
Rating: PG-13 (for intense disaster action and mayhem throughout, and brief strong language)

Aloha

(Columbia) Bradley Cooper, Emma Stone, Rachel McAdams, Bill Murray. A military contractor, once celebrated but now more of an industry joke because of a meltdown, returns to the scenes of his greatest triumphs – the U.S. Space program in Honolulu. He reconnects with an ex-girlfriend while falling unexpectedly for a fast-burning U.S. Air Force liaison. In between his romantic conundrum, he is working on an intricate satellite system for an enigmatic billionaire whose intentions aren’t entirely clear. Just another day at the office.

See the trailer, clips, interviews, featurettes, a promo and B-roll video here.
For more on the movie this is the website.
Release Formats: Standard
Genre: Dramedy
Now Playing: Wide Release (opens Thursday)
Rating: PG-13 (for some language including suggestive comments)

I’ll See You in My Dreams

(Bleecker Street) Blythe Danner, June Squibb, Malin Akerman, Sam Elliott.  A widow in her 70s finds her comfortable routine shaken up. This causes her to reassess her views on love, death and family and now in her golden years, she decides to start dating again and in doing so falls into relationships with two very different men, leaving her with quite the quandary.

See the trailer and clips here.
For more on the movie this is the website.
Release Formats: Standard
Genre: Drama
Now Playing: Regal Winter Park Village
Rating: PG-13 (for sexual material, drug use and brief strong language)

In the Name of My Daughter

(Cohen Media Group) Catherine Deneuve, Guillaume Canet, Adele Haenel, Judith Chemla. The brilliant French director André Téchiné brings us back to Nice in 1976 and one of the most notorious crimes in French history. When a casino heiress falls in love and marries a shady lawyer, her new husband manipulates her into voting against her mother and turning the casino over to the mob. Her subsequent disappearance and her husband’s hasty emigration to Panama lead her mother to believe that her daughter was murdered and her husband had a hand in it. She swears to see justice done, even though it takes decades.

See the trailer here.
For more on the movie this is the website.
Release Formats: Standard
Genre: True Life Drama
Now Playing: Regal Winter Park Village
Rating: PG-13 (for innuendo and language)

Tanu Weds Manu Returns

(Eros International) Kangana Ranaut, Madhavan, Jimmy Shergill, Eljaz Khan. The sequel to a hit Bollywood film, the marriage between Tanu and Manu collapses as many do. When lovely Manu meets a man who looks exactly like her ex-husband, what will she do when Tanu returns, seeking to patch things up?

See the trailer here.
For more on the movie this is the website.
Release Formats: Standard
Genre: Romantic Comedy
Now Playing: AMC West Oaks
Rating: NR

27 Dresses


Always a bridesmaid...

Always a bridesmaid…

(2008) Romantic Comedy (20th Century Fox) Katherine Heigl, James Marsden, Malin Akerman, Ed Burns, Melora Hardin, Judy Greer, Brian Kerwin, Krysten Ritter, Ronald Guttman, David Castro, Danielle Skraastad, Marilyn L. Costello, Erin Fogel, Maulik Pancholy, Michael Ziegfeld, Peyton List, Jane Pfitsch, Brigitte Bourdeau, Jennifer Bassey. Directed by Anne Fletcher

Always a bridesmaid, never a bride; it’s said as something of a curse. However, any bride will tell you that the expense and stress of being a bride is a hell of a lot harder than being a bridesmaid. Still, there are those who long for that beautiful wedding. Some of that sort have a bit more need for the wedding than the marriage that follows it.

Jane (Heigl) is a terrific executive assistant. Her boss George (Burns) is the perfect man – sensitive, ruggedly handsome, successful and oh yes, eco-conscious too. Jane pines for him, bringing him breakfast burritos without him even needing to ask. You wonder why he scarcely notices that she’s there.

However Jane’s friends are all very well aware of her attributes. Her organizational skills, attention to detail and conscientiousness that make her a great executive assistant make her the perfect maid of honor. Every wedding that Jane is involved in runs without a hitch – even when there are two of them planned for the same evening necessitating her to travel to and from the ceremonies and receptions, changing dresses in the taxi en route.

When her little sister Tess (Akerman), a somewhat self-centered model, comes to visit Jane is horrified when Tess falls for the boss she’s been pining for. What’s worse, Tess is getting him to fall for her under false pretenses. In the meantime she meets Kevin (Marsden), a New York Times reporter who turns out to be the one who writes the wedding announcements she admires. Kevin himself yearns to be put somewhere where he can do real journalism and put the puff pieces behind him and the idea of a woman with 27 bridesmaid dresses in her closet seems like a ticket out. Of course, he starts falling for her and as Jane plans the wedding of Tess’ dreams, it seems like that 28th dress might just be her breaking point.

I don’t have to tell you how this will play out – you already know if you’ve seen any Hollywood romantic comedies made in the last 15 years or so. That the writing here is unremarkable and the characters pretty much stock take what might have been a really nifty little film and turned it into a fairly mundane by-the-numbers rom-com.

What elevates it beyond that is Heigl. This may well be her brightest moment on the big screen (although her fans may argue that her work on Grey’s Anatomy might just be a bit better) and it showcases all the things that are charming about her; the way she can play both a wallflower and a confident woman taking charge of her own destiny. Basically since this came out in 2008 Heigl has been one of Hollywood’s go-to girls for romantic comedies, taking the place held by Meg Ryan before her which isn’t a bad pair of Jimmy Choo pumps to fill.

She’s given some pretty decent support too. Although Burns looks kind of bored at times, he is reasonably solid as is Akerman as Jane’s deceitful, self-centered sister although one wonders how she could have possibly have grown up in the same environment as Jane. Marsden is also pretty decent as Kevin – he and Burns make as handsome and hunky a pair of male points in a love triangle as you’re ever likely to see. Judy Greer is, as usual, the plucky best friend and she’s never better at it than she is here.

If you’re looking for something that sets the bar higher in romantic comedies or does something new with the genre, look elsewhere. This is pretty solid entertainment that fits right into what the target audience is looking for. While I might have wished for a little more depth, there’s certainly nothing wrong than knowing what your audience wants and delivering it.

WHY RENT THIS: Heigl is at her best. Burns and Marsden are fine hunks while Greer and Akerman give solid performances.

WHY RENT SOMETHING ELSE: Predictable; typical formula rom-com.

FAMILY VALUES:  There are a few bad words here and there, some sexual innuendo and some not so-subtle sexuality.

TRIVIAL PURSUIT: At the bar scene with Kevin and Jane, a Josh Kelly song plays in the background. Heigl is married to Kelly in real life.

NOTABLE HOME VIDEO EXTRAS: There’s a featurette on the design of the bridesmaid gowns as well as one on the annual sale at Filene’s basement in New York City where wedding gowns are put out on big racks and sold at drastically reduced prices. Brides line up outside and make a chaotic dash for the dresses when the doors open.

BOX OFFICE PERFORMANCE: $160.3M on a $30M production budget.

COMPARISON SHOPPING: The Wedding Planner

FINAL RATING: 7/10

NEXT: Gravity

Rock of Ages


Rock of Ages

Julianne Hough prepares for her next scene in the Broadway version of “There’s Something About Mary.”

(2012) Musical (New Line) Julianne Hough, Diego Boneta, Tom Cruise, Alec Baldwin, Russell Brand, Paul Giamatti, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Malin Akerman, Bryan Cranston, Mary J. Blige, Will Forte, T.J. Miller, Kevin Nash, Jeff Chase, Celina Beach, Dan Finnerty, Angelo Donato Valderrama. Directed by Adam Shankman

 

Maybe I’m a bit of a music snob – all right, there’s no “maybe” about it – but my idea of fun isn’t watching a cover band butcher the hits of classic rock. However, someone had to convince a Broadway producer and then a Hollywood studio that people would love to see it. Thus began a musical that has been a huge success on the Great White Way but would that success translate to the big screen?

Sherrie Christian (Hough) is a bright-eyed blonde travelling from Tulsa on a bus to make it to the bright lights and big city dreams of L.A. And of course the first thing that happens is she gets her suitcase stolen – the one with all her record albums in it, autographed of course. Sherrie is a rocker chick, a lacquer haired blonde who dreams of Night Ranger, Poison, Whitesnake and Journey. She lives for the hard stuff.

Her mugging is witnessed by Drew Boley (Boneta), a barback with dreams of rock stardom. He is a good-hearted sort and when he hears her story, he arranges with his boss Dennis (Baldwin), owner of the world famous Bourbon Club on the Strip, to give her a job as a cocktail waitress. She comes at a critical juncture for the Bourbon. The club is in financial chaos, owing a sizable tax bill. However, help is on the way – Stacee Jaxx (Cruise), the superstar front man of Arsenal, has brought his band to play their last show ever at the Bourbon before Stacee heads out on his own solo career.

Stacee’s oily manager Paul Gill (Giamatti) tells Stacee that he will be interviewed by a Rolling Stone reporter, one Constance Sack (Akerman), one who might have a bit of an agenda and one who isn’t overly awed by Stacee’s sexual attraction. In the meantime, the new mayor (Cranston) and his shrill wife (Jones) who may have a personal vendetta, are taking aim at the Bourbon and are out to shut it down so that the Strip can be cleaned up for rich developers to make a mint on.

Of course things don’t go as planned, everybody kind of goes their separate ways including Sherrie and Drew who have become a couple, but a misunderstanding tears them apart. Of course, this being a musical, we know that a happy ending is in sight and rock and roll will save the day.

I have a thing about Broadway musicals that take pre-written songs and plug them into a cookie cutter plot. Mamma Mia kinda got away with it because it was all the music of a single band and as such meshed together well. Hear, there are a bunch of different acts (with a lot of Poison songs, but also from such bands as the ones previously named as well as Starship, Twisted Sister and Bon Jovi.

The problem is that the songs are played pretty much without any passion. Rock requires it, and this has all the energy and passion of canned elevator music. It’s just loud guitars instead of soft strings. Most of the cast do their own singing and it’s probably better than we have a right to expect. In fact, the acting is pretty solid to but with two notable – and fatal – exceptions.

Hough is best known for her stint on “Dancing With the Stars” and she also has a surprisingly sweet voice (she’s done a country album to this point). However, her acting is not quite up to the same standards. Her Sherrie is kind of annoying, to be honest but at least that’s better than Boneta, veteran of Mexican telenovelas who is simply bland. His character isn’t particularly well-defined to begin with but Boneta adds nothing to him. His voice is pleasant enough but lacks the power to really deliver on his songs.

This is really a mess. It’s not the fault of Cruise who gives a performance that reminds me of his work in Tropical Thunder but without the clever dialogue. The leads are attractive but don’t really deliver any personality, something this project desperately needed. The plot is forgettable and while the songs are good, there really isn’t anything that distinguishes them in the musical numbers from the dancing to the settings. Hough, who is indeed a talented dancer, is even given a turn as an exotic dancer – and yet she almost never dances here. Talk about a wasted opportunity – in fact this whole movie really can be counted as one.

REASONS TO GO: Ummm…you like bar cover bands?

REASONS TO STAY: Some really wooden performances. Uninspiring musical performances. Just a mess in every sense.

FAMILY VALUES: A whole lot of sexual innuendo including some fairly graphic kisses and making out. Lots of drinking – LOTS of it – and some implied drug use. Then there’s the foul language…not a ton but enough to be noticeable.

TRIVIAL PURSUIT: The scenes set below the Hollywood sign were actually filmed in Pompano Beach, Florida in a landfill. The real Hollywood sign is fenced out and no public access is permitted.

CRITICAL MASS: As of 6/26/12: Rotten Tomatoes: 41% positive reviews. Metacritic: 47/100. The reviews are unaccountably mixed.

COMPARISON SHOPPING: Mamma Mia!

’80s ROCK LOVERS: Several stars of rock in the 80s make appearances in the protesters-rockers confrontation near the end of the scene. Among those singing “We Built This City” are Nuno Bettencourt of Extreme, Kevin Cronin of REO Speedwagon, Debbie Gibson (yes, that one), Sebastian Bach of Skid Row, and Joel Hoekstra of Night Ranger.

FINAL RATING: 2/10

NEXT: Lola Versus

New Releases for the Week of June 15, 2012


June 15, 2012

ROCK OF AGES

(New Line) Tom Cruise, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Julianne Hough, Alec Baldwin, Malin Akerman, Paul Giamatti, Russell Brand, Mary J. Blige, Diego Boneta. Directed by Adam Shankman

A small town girl and a big city boy meet and fall in love to the soundtrack of classic rock at a Sunset Strip club that is in crisis. The club is in financial difficulties and is relying on the concert by superstar Stacy Jaxx to help them out of it, but they are beset by blue-nosed housewives protesting the debauchery of rock and roll in general and the club in particular. Just another Saturday night on the Strip, don’t you know.

See the trailer here.

For more on the movie this is the website.

Release formats: Standard, IMAX

Genre: Musical

Rating: PG-13 (for sexual content, suggestive dancing, some heavy drinking, and language)

Hysteria

(Sony Classics) Maggie Gyllenhaal, Hugh Dancy, Jonathan Pryce, Rupert Everett. Back in the 19th century, women were often diagnosed with something called female hysteria, which had to do with basically being horny without being able to do anything about it. This would lead to the invention of the mechanical vibrator, the godsend of lonely housewives everywhere. This isn’t a true story – but there are some elements of the truth in it.

See the trailer and clips here.

For more on the movie this is the website.

Release formats: Standard

Genre: Romantic Comedy

Rating: R (for sexual content) 

Something From Nothing: The Art of Rap

(Indomina) Ice-T, Kanye West, Chuck D, Eminem. Actor-rapper Ice-T takes us on a personal journey into the roots of rap, the newest musical art form, and dissects the roots, speaking with a variety of artists about their creative process. Along the way he displays the cultural influences of rap music not only on the lives of the African-American community from where it originated, but on America as a whole.

See the trailer and clips here.

For more on the movie this is the website.

Release formats: Standard

Genre: Documentary

Rating: R (for pervasive language including sexual reference, and some drug content)

That’s My Boy

(Columbia) Adam Sandler, Andy Samberg, Leighton Meester, James Caan. A 12-year-old boy has an affair with his teacher and gets her pregnant. She goes to jail, his parents disown him and he’s stuck raising a kid while being a kid himself. Years later, he’s never really grown up and is in trouble with the IRS for never having paid his income tax. He needs $40,000 or he’s going to jail himself. His now-grown kid is a wealthy man now and might be able to bail him out. His son is getting married and didn’t invite him – they’ve been estranged for years – so he’s going to have to do some relationship building in order to pull this off. Maybe along the way he’ll find some responsibility – and his uptight son might loosen up just a little bit.

See the trailer here.

For more on the movie this is the website.

Release formats: Standard

Genre: Comedy

Rating: R (for crude sexual content throughout, nudity, pervasive language and some drug use)