What Men Want


Touchdown!

(2019) Romantic Comedy (Paramount) Taraji P. Henson, Aldis Hodge, Richard Roundtree, Tracy Morgan, Wendi McLendon-Covey, Josh Brener, Tamala Jones, Phoebe Robinson, Max Greenfield, Jason Jones, Pete Davidson, Brian Bosworth, Chris Witaske, Erykah Badu, Kellan Lutz, Kausar Mohammed, Paul B. Johnson, Auston Moore, Shane Paul McGhie, Lisa Leslie. Directed by Adam Shankman

In 2000, Mel Gibson had a hit rom-com with What Women Want, in which a bathtub electrocution gave him the power to hear the thoughts of women (but not men). In this gender-reversal update (and I use the term loosely), Henson stars as Ali Davis, a brash and ambitious sports agent working basically at a white boy’s club where she hopes to become partner. When she’s passed over, she demands to know why since she has an impressive list of Olympic athletes with an impressive list of endorsements; her smarmy boss replies “You just don’t connect with men.”

Well, that problem is about to be solved by singer-songwriter Erykah Badu who plays Sister, a wacky psychic who is hired by a bachelorette party that Ali is attending. She supplies Ali with a drug-laced tea and then for good measure, Ali gets knocked upside the head by an oversized dildo. When she comes to, voila! She can hear the thoughts of men (but not women). She hopes to use her new superpower to her own advantage rather than trying to stop Thanos in his evil mission…err., wrong film. In any case, she discovers it isn’t so much what men are thinking that’s important (and non-spoiler alert – I think most women have a pretty good clue what men are generally thinking) but what is inside her own head that really matters.

The movie is full of rom-com clichés and never really excites any sort of glee from the audience. Henson is a talented actress who I’ve been a great fan of for more than a decade, and she does do her best here, but she has to contend with Badu’s shameless overacting (although to be fair Badu is pretty much the most consistently funny in the cast), a script that does her no favors and patter that rather than being snappy falls about as flat as a remake of a comedy about misogyny in the era of #MeToo. Timing matters.

REASONS TO SEE: Henson is a little bit over-the-top but still always watchable.
REASONS TO AVOID: Very cliché.
FAMILY VALUES: There is profanity and sexual content, along with some drug references.
TRIVIAL PURSUIT: This is the first R-rated film to be directed by Shankman.
BEYOND THE THEATERS: Amazon, AMC On Demand, AppleTV, Epix, Fandango Now, Google Play, Hulu, Microsoft, Redbox, Vudu, YouTube
CRITICAL MASS: As of 7/10/20: Rotten Tomatoes: 49% positive reviews: Metacritic: 42/100.
COMPARISON SHOPPING: What Women Want
FINAL RATING: 5/10
NEXT:
Relic

The Jesus Rolls


Nobody rolls a ball like Jesus.

 (2019) Dramedy (Screen Media) John Turturro, Bobby Cannavale, Audrey Tautou, Susan Sarandon, Pete Davidson, Christopher Walken, Jon Hamm, J.B. Smoove, Sable Boykin, Tim Blake Nelson, Margaret Reed, Michael Badalucco, Sonia Braga, Gloria Reuben, Nicolas Reyes, Ken Murach, George Sheanshang, Tonino Ballardo, Matt Lake, Kathryn Kates, Rosa Gilmore. Directed by John Turturro

The Dude abides, but Jesus saves, or so some would have it. The Big Lebowski was a 1998 Coen Brothers cult hit that may have had the most interesting characters in a single cast, so much so that more than 20 years after it was released it is getting its first spin-off. Don’t count on many more happening.

Jesus Quintana (Turturro) is released from Sing Sing on a sex charge that is, to put it mildly, suspicious. The warden (Walken) sends Jesus on his way, Jesus having led the intramural team to the state bowling championship (in one of the film’s most amusing moments, he is literally played out by the Gipsy Kings, who are also behind bars). He is picked up by Petey (Cannavale), his best friend and also an ex-con.

The two promptly go on a spree of petty crime, with temperamental French hairdresser Marie (Tautou) in tow. On a kind of misdemeanor-laden road trip, they go forth to look for America. Along the way they meet a hairdresser with a gun (Hamm), another ex-con (Sarandon), a black market doctor (Nelson), an overzealous convenience store security guard (Badalucco) and Jesus’ sex worker mom (Braga).

And that’s pretty much it, as far as plot goes. The movie is somewhat based on the French director Bertrand Blier 1974 comedy Going Places with Gerard Depardieu and Patrick Dewaere as a couple of sex-addicted lowlifes on the run, but with the Jesus character from The Big Lebowski in the main roll. Known in the earlier film for licking the ball before he bowls, that scene opens the way for a bowling session with Jesus in which he most definitely licks the ball. Take from that whatever you will.

This is one of those movies where a lot of decent actors make cameo appearances for a few moments and then we move on to another Merry Prankster bit with Turturro and Cannavale, whose character gets shot in the huts by a vengeful hairdresser who cares more for his vintage Duster than for his employee. The movie is mostly a series of stolen vehicles and chases with interludes of sex and not just what the beautiful Tautou either.

The movie suffers from a noticeable lack of the Coen brothers; they are masters at characterization and snappy dialogue. Here, the movie seems forced, rushed and poorly planned out, a very disturbing issue indeed. It’s not nearly as funny as it could have been, or should have been. Turturro is a fine actor, but as a writer he’s no Coen.

Turturro has evidently been thinking about bringing this character back to the screen for some time; I don’t know if anyone was clamoring for a Jesus Quintana spin-off other than Turturro but I suppose if you wait long enough, everything comes back into style.

REASONS TO SEE: It’s John Effin’ Turturro.
REASONS TO AVOID: Not as funny as it could be.
FAMILY VALUES: There’s a ton of profanity, plenty of sexual content, some nudity, and a bit of violence.
TRIVIAL PURSUIT: Turturro has been trying to get a spin-off film about the Jesus Quintana character made since 2005; after several aborted tries he came up with a script that everyone was satisfied with.
BEYOND THE THEATER: Amazon, AppleTV, Fandango Now, Google Play, Microsoft, Vudu, YouTube
CRITICAL MASS: As of 5/8//20: Rotten Tomatoes: 23% positive reviews. Metacritic:  44/100
COMPARISON SHOPPING: O Brother, Where Art Thou?
FINAL RATING: 5/10
NEXT:
Divide and Conquer: The Story of Roger Ailes

New Releases for the Week of March 13, 2020


BLOODSHOT

(Columbia) Vin Diesel, Guy Pearce, Elza Gonzalez, Sam Heughan, Toby Kebbell, Talulah Riley, Alex Hernandez, Lamome Morris. Directed by Dave Wilson

When a soldier is killed in action, he is brought back to life using nanotechnology. Not only is his body improved and he is made virtually unkillable, he discovers that the corporation in charge has been tampering with his mind and memories as well. How can he fight back when he can’t be certain what’s real and what’s implanted in his memory?

See the trailer here
For more on the movie this is the website
Genre: Superhero
Now Playing: Wide Release
Rating: PG-13 (for intense sequences of violence, some suggestive material, and language)

Big Time Adolescence

(NEON) Pete Davidson, Griffin Gluck, Sydney Sweeney, Jon Cryer. A high school kid tries to navigate life with the aid of a college dropout friend who shows him all the wrong decisions; it will remain for his dad to try and clean up the mess and rein in his son’s bad habits.

See the trailer here
For more on the movie this is the website  
Genre: Dramedy
Now Playing: Cinematique of Daytona
Rating: R (for drug content, alcohol use, pervasive language, and sexual references – all involving teens)

Cruel Peter

(Vertical) Henry Douthwaite, Rosie Fellner, Terrence Booth, Claudio Castrogiovanni. A century after a cruel and vicious bully is killed in an act of revenge, an archaeologist and his daughter, grieving for his wife (her mother), come to the scene of the crime. The daughter’s attempts to contact her deceased mother result in her possession by the spirit of the brutal bully. Her father now msut save her from a curse that he has no idea how to break.

See the trailer here
For more on the movie this is the website  
Genre: Horror
Now Playing: Studio Movie Grill Sunset Walk
Rating: NR

Extra Ordinary

(Good Deed) Maeve Higgins, Barry Ward, Will Forte, Claudia O’Doherty. A small-town driving instructor with the power to communicate with the other side faces a demonic plot by a has-been rock star to make a deal with the devil and send an innocent soul to hell. Aided by the girl’s father, she will take on some unusual paranormal activities if she is to save the soul – and the world, or at least the immediate community.

See the trailer here
For more on the movie this is the website  
Genre: Comedy
Now Playing: Enzian Theater
Rating: R (for language, sexual content and some horror violence)

Hope Gap

(Roadside Attractions/Screen Media) Bill Nighy, Annette Bening, Josh O’Connor, Alysha Hart. A couple’s visit to their son takes an unexpected turn with the father confides that he is leaving his wife of 29 years for another. She is left to pick up the pieces and rebuild her life, while the son deals with the emotional fallout.

See the trailer here
For more on the movie this is the website  
Genre: Drama
Now Playing: Old Mill Playhouse, Regal Winter Park Village
Rating: PG (for some thematic elements and brief strong language)

The Hunt

(Blumhouse/Universal) Betty Gilpin, Ike Barinholtz, Emma Roberts, Hilary Swank. A group of people wake up in a clearing not knowing how they got there or why they’re there. They are there, as it turns out, to be hunted by a group of “global elites” but one woman who knows the Hunt better than they do is going to turn around the game on her captors. The movie was delayed from last year due to a series of shootings that hit too close to home; the movie is also notable in that President Trump decried it without having seen it.

See the trailer here
For more on the movie this is the website  
Genre: Horror
Now Playing: Wide Release
Rating: R (for strong blood violence, and language throughout)

The Postcard Killings

(RJLE) Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Famke Janssen, Cush Jumbo, Denis O’Hare  A New York detective grieves for his wife and daughter who were brutally murdered in London. He travels to the UK and discovers that the killings were one of a series of similar crimes, each one preceded by a postcard sent to a local journalist. He must race against time to stop the killings and get justice for his family.

See the trailer here
For more on the movie this is the website  
Genre: Suspense
Now Playing: Old Mill Playhouse
Rating: NR

Swallow

(IFC Midnight) Haley Bennett, Austin Stowell, Elizabeth Marvel, David Rasche. A beautiful housewife seems to have everything – a wealthy husband, a supportive family, a beautiful house and a baby on the way. However, the high expectations of her husband and his family cause her to manifest her stress by swallowing objects that are increasingly dangerous.

See the trailer here
For more on the movie this is the website  
Genre: Horror
Now Playing: Barnstorm Theater
Rating: R (for brief sexuality/nudity)

Tuscaloosa

(Cinedigm) Devon Bostick, Natalia Dyer, Tate Donovan, Marchant Davis. In Alabama circa 1972, a young man falls for a patient at his father’s mental hospital, while his best friend gets involved in the civil rights movement which doesn’t sit well with the powerful civic leaders of Tuscaloosa.

See the trailer here
For more on the movie this is the website  
Genre: Drama
Now Playing: Barnstorm Theater
Rating: NR

Wendy

(Searchlight) Yashua Mack, Devin France, Gage Naquin, Gavin Naquin. A re-imagining of the Peter Pan story told through the eyes of Wendy Darling and through the inventive mind of Beasts of the Southern Wild director Benh Zeitlin.

See the trailer here
For more on the movie this is the website  
Genre: Fantasy
Now Playing: AMC Disney Springs, Regal Winter Park Village
Rating: PG-13 (for brief violent/bloody images)

ALSO OPENING IN ORLANDO/DAYTONA:

Angrezi Medium
I Still Believe

ALSO OPENING IN MIAMI/FT. LAUDERDALE/KEY WEST:

Angrezi Medium
Bacurau
Balloon
Chal Mera Putt 2
I Still Believe
Straight Up – Canceled

ALSO OPENING IN TAMPA/ST. PETERSBURG/SARASOTA:

Angrezi Medium
Block Z
Corpus Christi
I Still Believe

ALSO OPENING IN JACKSONVILLE/ST. AUGUSTINE:

Angrezi Medium
I Still Believe

SCHEDULED FOR REVIEW:

Bacurau
Big Time Adolescence
Bloodshot
Extra Ordinary
The Hunt
Swallow

FILM FESTIVALS TAKING PLACE IN FLORIDA:

Miami Film Festival, Miami FL