Crown Vic

I guess that’s why they call it the blues…

(2019) Cop Drama (Screen Media) Thomas Jane, Luke Kleintank, Josh Hopkins, David Krumholtz, Bridget Moynihan, Devon Workheiser, Scottie Thompson, Emma Ishta, James Andrew O’Connor, Shiloh Verrico, Alex Morf, Gregg Bello, Bernard David Jones, Hannah McKechnie, Chris Jarrell, Bruce R. Leader, Kathryn Schneider, Ginger Graham, Elizabeth Oddy, Marilyn Toro. Directed by Joel Souza

 

Since the days of Dragnet and “Just the facts, ma’am,” the way we view cops have changed. Once upon a time, they were our knights in blue, friendly neighborhood protectors who made sure that “To serve and protect” wasn’t just a motto. These days, cops are often viewed with suspicion, particularly by minorities and with some justification. Cops have become fallible and human; and not always admirable. We see the sensational failures rather than the neighborhood heroes. Both views are extreme. Neither is wrong.

Ray Mandel (Jane) is a 25-year veteran of the Los Angeles Police Department as a patrol officer. He has been given the task of being FTO (Field Training Officer) to a wet-behind-the-ears rookie, Nick Holland (Kleintank). Nick is idealistic, just out of the academy, newly married with a baby on the way. His somewhat hysterical wife calls him at regular intervals, terrified that something will happen to her baby daddy out there on the mean streets of Los Angeles.

In the course of a single night, the grizzled veteran will impart the wisdom of cops since time immemorial to his young protégé – “Trust in your equipment,” “If someone looks guilty, watch ‘em. If someone looks innocent, watch ‘em closely!!” The rookie soaks it all in but quickly discovers that things aren’t so cut and dried out on the streets. He may be riding in a black and white, but things certainly aren’t that way out there (see what I did there?) in the neighborhoods of El Lay, particularly with a trigger-happy pair of robbers on the loose as well as a detective whose ‘roid rage is about to explode into something much worse, as well as personal matters that will keep both the men in 20-Lincoln-14 on their toes.

Those who have been mesmerized by cop procedurals on TV (going back to the aforementioned Dragnet and up through such classics as Adam 12 and Starsky and Hutch up through more modern iterations which have been largely the province of the movies like Colors and End of Shift) will find familiar territory here. The film is set up as a series of vignettes that range from brutal and violent to dark comedy. Generally, Ray and Nick react pretty much the same way to each situation; Ray tells Nick to stay in the car, or behind the protection of the squad car’s door, and Nick essentially doing as he’s told.

The opening sequence depicting the robbers violent escape from a bank is shot creatively from the inside (and the side mirror) of the getaway car. It’s kinetic and works really nicely; sadly, the rest of the film isn’t quite as innovative. In fact, there’s a good deal of cliché going on here. It isn’t a terribly realistic depiction of the day-to-day life of patrol cops – but then again, it’s not meant to be – and at times credibility is stretched to the breaking point.

Much of what makes the movie a worthy rental (or viewing if it’s playing anywhere near you) is the performance of Jane as the world-weary Ray. Ray has nothing left but the job but he hasn’t lost all hope just yet. He still believes that he is making a difference, and that’s what sustains him. Jane is one of the steadiest actors around today; you won’t go wrong seeing one of his films.

This isn’t a breakthrough film by any stretch of the imagination. It ploughs familiar territory and doesn’t really do much beyond the opening sequence to make any sort of mark. Still, those who like cop films are going to be satisfied with this. It’s well-acted, well-plotted and keeps the viewer’s interest going throughout. A lot of much more heralded films can’t necessarily say the same.

REASONS TO SEE: The audience interest is kept up nicely. Jane does a solid job as the mentor cop.
REASONS TO AVOID: A little bit on the cliché side.
FAMILY VALUES: There is plenty of profanity, sexual references, scenes of gory violence, brief full nudity and some drug use.
TRIVIAL PURSUIT: The Crown Victoria was discontinued as a model in 2011. It has been replaced on most police forces by the Dodge Charger, Ford Taurus and/or Chevrolet Caprice.
CRITICAL MASS: As of 11/11/19: Rotten Tomatoes: 64% positive reviews: Metacritic: No score yet
COMPARISON SHOPPING: Training Day
FINAL RATING: 7/10
NEXT: I’m gonna make you love me

Lasso

Skyler Cooper gives an electric performance.

(2018) Horror (Epic) Sean Patrick Flanery, Lindsey Morgan, Andrew Jacobs, Benedita Pereira, Karen Grassle, Steven Anthony Jones, Molly Goode, Monique Bricca, Don Demico, Tony Vella, Zoe Swenson Graham, Joe Sobalo Jr., Thomas Cokenias, Travis Andre Ross, Halliny Ferreira, Todd Myers, Skyler Cooper, Seldor Helderman, Michael Gomes, Heather Mignon, Melissa Tracy. Directed by Evan Cecil

 

What could be more all-American than a rodeo? Although the name (and the concept) is derived from the Spanish, we have adopted it and turned it into something that represents what many believe is the epitome of being an American – the cowboy. But like all things American, there is a dark side to it.

An active seniors group is going on an outing to the Hackett Rodeo. Young and perky guide Kit (Morgan) and her less-enthusiastic assistant Simon (Jacobs) bring them to the faux Western town where there are games of chance and of course plenty of shopping. Then there’s the rodeo arena itself, where bronco busters, calf ropers and creepy clowns entertain the crowds.

But as the crowd thins out the senior group dally a bit too long and they witness a grisly murder by a dark cowboy with a barbed whip that rips out the innards of a young woman, and then the carotid artery of their driver. Panicked, Kit escapes with most of her charges but Simon – who had gone back to find a lost hairbrush for imperious Lillian (Grassle) – is left behind to be captured and thrown into a pen with one-armed cowboy Ennis (Flanery), muscle-bound African-American Trish (Cooper) and rodeo queen Rosheen (Mignon).

A mysterious rodeo clown (Gomes) helps them escape from their cell but they discover that Hackett (Cokenias) and his rodeo personnel are all tweaked on horse steroids that are not meant for human consumption and has not only made them muscular but also psychotic. The ‘roid ragers are putting on a show for their own amusement and are taking clues from Grand Guignol and Herschell Gordon Lewis, murdering strays in grisly ways having to do with the rodeo (as in one girl being roped by the feet and arms and being pulled apart by a couple of dark horsemen).

In the meantime, the seniors’ bus has overheated and stalled near the entrance of the ranch. Kit is desperately trying to fix the bus but her charges are decidedly unhelpful. What they don’t know is that they are being stalked by cowboys; while some of them are going to be set aside for the show, some of them won’t make it to the arena. Fame, she is fickle, no?

I actually really like the concept and to be honest, some of the murders are truly clever. If you like gore, you won’t leave this one disappointed. However, there is almost zero character development, Simon is one of the most annoying heroes ever as he botches plan after plan, and the most interesting characters tend to be killed early on. Poor Ennis is the most luckless character you’ll ever see; he survives some horrific injuries but like the Energizer bunny, he keeps on coming back for more. I like the idea that one of the good guys is unkillable instead of the maniac.

Having two separate groups being threatened by the cowboys is unnecessary and causes the movie to run a little longer than it should. Personally, I would have gone with the seniors – that would have made for a much more interesting movie, although Flanery as Ennis gets a gold star for his work. In fact, it is impressive that all the actors buy into the silliness with a straight face. There is some humor here but this is primarily and defiantly a horror film and it doesn’t apologize for being one. It doesn’t pander to horror fans either, which is unusual for a lot of horror films these days.

The last couple of years has seen an influx of really talented directors in the genre and movies that have pushed the envelope of scary. This isn’t necessarily one of those but Cecil shows a great deal of promise and there are a lot of things to like about Lasso. It misses a few too many opportunities to get a rave review, but it takes advantage of enough of them to be recommended.

REASONS TO GO: As far as I know, this is the only slasher film to ever be set at a rodeo.
REASONS TO STAY: Given the opportunity for doing something different, the movie is fairly cliché.
FAMILY VALUES: There is plenty of violence and gore and a fair amount of profanity.
TRIVIAL PURSUIT: Cecil is a veteran television director making his feature film debut.
BEYOND THE THEATERS: Amazon, Fandango Now, iTunes
CRITICAL MASS: As of 1/11/19: Rotten Tomatoes: 71% positive reviews. Metacritic: No score yet.
COMPARISON SHOPPING: Trip With Teacher
FINAL RATING: 6.5/10
NEXT: Pledge

Ghost Team

Things are looking up for the Ghost Team.

(2016) Horror Comedy (The Orchard) Jon Heder, David Krumholtz, Justin Long, Melonie Diaz, Amy Sedaris, Paul W. Downs, Tom Schiller, Joel Marsh Garland, Doug Drucker, Rob DeRosa, Martin Barabas, Clem McIntosh, Shane Velez, Vincenzo Vaccaro, Veronika Dash. Directed by Oliver Irving

 

For the most part, we’re all fascinated by the paranormal. Who doesn’t want to see proof of life after we pass on? The existence of ghosts certainly is one of those things that have fascinated us for centuries, and yet for the most part, ghosts still remain essentially mythical figures. That doesn’t mean we haven’t stopped searching for definitive proof of their existence.

Plenty of television programs have documented the search of paranormal investigation teams. One of the most well-known is Ghost Getters which copy store clerk Louis (Heder) watches religiously. When the team puts out the call for a new member, Louis is psyched to apply, but he wants to stand out – by conducting his own investigation.

It’s hard to do when one’s day is mostly spent printing Lost Dog fliers. However when a curmudgeonly old man looking to get some laminated No Trespassing signs printed up lets slip that the barn on his property is “probably haunted,” Louis realizes this is the break he’s been waiting for. He ropes in his sad-sack best friend Stan (Krumholtz) who was left at the altar and thinks the only explanation for it was that his bride-to-be was kidnapped by aliens. They need a computer whiz and happen to know one who works at Micro World, Zak (Downs). When a late night run to “borrow” some equipment from Micro World ends up in a confrontation with gung-ho security guard Ross (Long), the team has their security chief. They enlist phony baloney TV psychic Victoria (Sedaris) and to round out the team, Ellie (Diaz) who works as a beautician in the shop next door to Louis and whose job is to….well, crap, I’m not really sure.

The intrepid erstwhile paranormal investigators who have christened themselves the Ghost Team head out to the barn to conduct their audition but when they arrive, they realize they’ve stumbled onto something that they simply weren’t prepared for. Will the Ghost Team’s first case also be their last?

The field of paranormal investigation shows has been ripe for a comedy to be based on it (although some would say that the original Ghostbusters was kind of a preemptive strike in that general direction). Certainly the movie takes aim at shows like SyFy’s venerable Ghost Hunters, which the fictional Ghost Getters is essentially based on as are many other like-minded shows all over cable television.

But sadly, the movie devolves into a kind of live action Scooby Doo minus the talking dog although it does have a van not unlike the Mystery Machine. How it does that I will not tell you, but suffice to say that those who grew up on that show will undoubtedly make that connection. I don’t have an objection per se only that the tonal shift doesn’t work here; they needed a better transition.

Heder has always been a bit too laid-back for my taste as an actor but the more he moves away from his Napoleon Dynamite past the better I like him and this is certainly a step in that direction. Like most of the characters here, Louis isn’t the brightest bulb in the chandelier but he certainly means well and that’s the kind of thing that’s right in Heder’s wheelhouse. He gets some superb support from Sedaris as the fake psychic who can’t believe that anybody buys her particular brand of B.S. and Diaz as an atypical damsel in distress. Long is terribly miscast as a security guy who seems to be suffering from Roid Rage.

Inexplicably, the movie uses Gary Wright’s 70s synthpop hit “Dream Weaver” to almost annoying extent. It was one of my favorite songs growing up but let’s face it; it’s not the kind of song you need to hear more than once on any movie soundtrack. The most genuinely scary moment in the film is when the Ghost Team sings along to the music.

And therein lies the rub; for a horror film, there aren’t any scares; for a comedy there aren’t many laughs. It tries to be both and ends up being neither. Part of the problem is that the writer doesn’t appear to be sure just what he wants this movie to be and what it ends up feeling like is a bunch of zombies wandering around aimlessly, calling pathetically for brains and this is not a movie that has (or should have) a lot of them. All the right ingredients are here for a good little film, but sadly, it ends up tasting rather bland.

REASONS TO GO: A cross between Ghost Hunters and Scooby-Doo. Heder is at his most likable here.
REASONS TO STAY: Official overuse of Gary Wright’s “Dream Weaver” on the soundtrack. It gets overly juvenile in places. The action sequences are unconvincing. There aren’t enough laughs.
FAMILY VALUES: There is a bit of profanity, some sexual references and some drug material as well.
TRIVIAL PURSUIT: The movie was available for streaming free on Google Play before it’s limited theatrical run. It will continue on Google until the end of August after which it will be available on other streaming sites.
BEYOND THE THEATER: Google Play
CRITICAL MASS: As of 8/13/16: Rotten Tomatoes: No score yet. Metacritic: No score yet.
COMPARISON SHOPPING: Ghost Team One
FINAL RATING: 4/10
NEXT: Star Trek Beyond