The Shallows

Blake Lively hopes this film will buoy her career.

(2016) Thriller (Columbia) Blake Lively, Oscar Jaenada, Angelo Jose, Lozano Corzo, Jose Manual Trujillo Salas, Brett Cullen, Sedoria Legge, Pablo Calva, Diego Espejel, Janelle Bailey, Ava Dean, Chelsea Moody. Directed by Jaume Collet-Serra

 

If sharks had their own equivalent of the ACLU, there’d be picketing of Hollywood in general. No other animal has been demonized the way sharks have; perhaps Steven Spielberg would be Public Enemy Number One. Sharks are predators, yes, but they rarely attack humans and it is even more rare that they kill humans. More people die from interactions with horses than with sharks.

Nancy (Lively) has had some shit to deal with lately. Her mom (Bailey) recently passed away from cancer; this caused her to take a good hard look at her life and drop out of medical school, much to the consternation of her dad (Cullen) and her sister Chloe (Legge). Instead, Nancy has decided to take a vacation in Mexico with her party hearty friend but she’s not there for the tequila. No, Nancy wants to surf a beach that has personal meaning to her – it was a secluded beach that her mom used to take her to back in the day. It was a place where Nancy was truly happy.

When her friend is too hung over to go along for the ride, Nancy goes by herself and enlists the aid of a local (Jaenada) to drive her to the beach. It is just as secluded as it ever was; only a pair of surfer dudes (Jose, Corzo) is there. The day wanes and it has been a perfect afternoon. As the boys leave for home, Nancy decides to take one last ride. That proves to be a mistake.

You see, the surfer dudes weren’t the only ones out there; there’s also a great white shark who has been feasting on a whale out in the water. However, apparently having a whale that is ten times its size out there to dine on isn’t enough; the shark must have some human meat because, after all, variety is the spice of life. So the shark takes a bite out of Nancy who manages to make it to a rock 200 yards from shore. And there she will stay, and she will need all her ingenuity and the occasional help of a seagull named Steven (get it?) to fend off the most deadly of all predators.

Let’s get something straight; sharks rarely eat humans and when they do, it’s usually due to confusion. The fact of the matter is, sharks don’t much like the taste of human meat; they prefer more fishy sources of protein and frankly, if there’s a ginormous whale carcass ripe for the taking, they’re not going to bother with going out and killing something else. Sharks are not greedy by nature; they kill only what they can eat to survive. They don’t kill just for the sake of killing as they are depicted not only here but in popular imagination.

Mainly however this particular shark is there to menace Blake Lively and keep her in a bikini for the entire movie and admittedly she looks fantastic in a bikini. Although her character is ostensibly from Texas, Lively is the prototypical California surfer chick, so she is well-cast here. Lively needed to be solid here as she is basically the entire movie; she occasionally talks to her seagull buddy or records into a camera and/or cellphone but otherwise, it’s all her and all physical. This is the kind of demanding movie that pushed actors like Robert Redford and Matt Damon to their limits and this is also the case with Lively but she manages to keep our attention throughout and not just because of her bikini body. She does have a breezy personality that reminds me of Blythe Danner in the 70s and Kate Hudson more recently.

Jaume Collet-Serra is a Spanish director who has a knack for thrillers, particularly the action-based kind. This is more of a character thriller and he acquits himself well, considering that it is much more difficult to keep things interesting with a single character than it is when that character has other people and things to play off of. Lively doesn’t get that luxury; she has to interact with machines and an occasional bird, but has nothing else to work off of.

If you can forgive the egregious lapses in logic and biology here, this is a pretty good thriller. The conundrum of Nancy being so close yet so far from shore is tantalizing. There is a modicum of gore and of the CGI shark (which is much more realistic than Bruce in Jaws) which is a terrifying monster. As summer entertainment goes, you could do much worse – but also you can also do better. As it stands, this is a competently done edge-of-the-seat woman vs. shark film that certainly isn’t a waste of your time or money.

REASONS TO GO: Collet-Serra excels at keeping the tension high.
REASONS TO STAY: The basis of the plot is that the shark has some sort of grudge against Blake Lively.
FAMILY VALUES: Quite a few bloody images, intense peril and some brief profanity.
TRIVIAL PURSUIT: The movie was shot under its original title, In the Deep. The title was changed because the movie takes place in shallow waters.
CRITICAL MASS: As of 7/23/16: Rotten Tomatoes: 77% positive reviews. Metacritic: 58/100.
COMPARISON SHOPPING: Jaws
FINAL RATING: 6/10
NEXT: The Purge: Election Year

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Soul Surfer

Helen Hunt doesn't even realize that the wrong husband is next to her.

(2011) True Life Drama (TriStar) AnnaSophia Robb, Dennis Quaid, Helen Hunt, Carrie Underwood, Kevin Sorbo, Lorraine Nicholson, Jeremy Sumpter, Sonya Balmores Chung, Ross Thomas, Chris Brochu, Craig T. Nelson, Branscombe Richard. Directed by Sean McNamara

 

It is a fact of life that things happen, sometimes terrible things. We want our lives to be sweet and easy but they never are. You can call it God’s will, or bad luck but we are often put into positions where in order to achieve our dreams we must first re-imagine them.

Bethany Hamilton (Robb) lives in paradise. It may be called Hawaii to you and me but she knows as most of those native to those beautiful islands that there are few places on Earth like it. The Pacific swells that rage against the nearby beaches are her heartbeat, and she lives to put board to water and foot to board. She has a talent for surfing and with her blonde hair blue-eyed good girl next door looks, she is already attracting endorsement deals and is a sure bet to turn pro.

When she is attacked by a shark and loses an arm, her plans are put on hold. The media descends on her family and their faith is tested. Dad Tom (Quaid) wants to fix things, while mom Cheri (Hunt) prays for guidance, unable to fathom God’s plan when a spirited good-hearted teen’s dreams are cut short so cruelly.

At first Bethany gives in to depression and despair but gradually realizes as her plight gets more and more coverage, that she is no longer living just for herself and her dreams. Indeed, the dreams of millions of physically challenged people are riding on her as their inspiration to continue and achieve. With that kind of impetus behind her, how could she fail to at least try?

This is of course based on a true story. Hamilton to this day continues to be one of the world’s top surfers and her story is inspirational, not just to those who have physical challenges but to those who don’t as well.

Now, the actual Hamilton family are devout Christians (Bethany often makes personal appearances at churches and for church youth groups) and there was some fear from Hollywood executives early on that a faith-based film might alienate secular audiences and I have to say myself I don’t go to the movies to be preached to. However I was pleasantly surprised – the issues of faith are handled as a natural part of the Hamilton’s lives and I never felt at any point like a message was being pushed on me. If anything, the message is more secular than religious – while Bethany’s faith sustains her and comforts her, it is her desire and will to compete that conquers the mountains that were laid before her. I found that refreshing.

Robb is a sterling actress growing graceful and beautiful as she moves into her teen years. With wonderful performances in Bridge to Terabithia and Race to Witch Mountain, she has a bright future in the business if she chooses to continue along that path. She largely carries this movie, imbuing the real Bethany’s determination and faith into her performance. She’s deserving of the kudos she’s been receiving for the role.

Oscar winner Hunt is a welcome addition to the cast; an actress this good should be around more often. I do hope we see more of her – while she doesn’t have a lot to do, she does have a  couple of scenes that are really effective, elevating the role. The likable Quaid is once again…err, likable. With maybe the best grin in the history of movies, he’s had a soft spot in my critical heart for more years than probably either of us would like to admit. He’s another actor that I wouldn’t mind seeing get more compelling roles.

Now I’ll admit that surfing isn’t really my thing and surfing movies even less so. The mysticism that some of the sport’s faithful attribute to it is something I don’t really tap into. That doesn’t mean I don’t feel the draw of the ocean in the same way, nor does it mean I don’t appreciate the athleticism, the sacrifice or the passion that comes with the sport. It just doesn’t always translate well to the screen and while the surfing sequences are solid, they aren’t enough to get me hooked.

The ending is a bit cheesy and in my opinion does the movie a disservice. Creating a rival (Chung) that treated her like dirt was unnecessary, as is the conversion from rival to admirer. The target audience here is obviously kids from about 11-16 and girls in particular. I think that that audience would have been just as inspired by Bethany’s accomplishments without the jealous rival. She wasn’t needed – there were obstacles a ‘plenty for the real surfer girl.

Bethany and her parents get the lion’s share of character development here and the movie suffers for that too. Too many cliché characters spoil this soup, as does the pulling of the rival onto the medal stand. I don’t know if that actually happened but it seemed disingenuous the way it was portrayed here. So to sum up, a solid movie that is inspirational in places and serves it’s teen and pre-teen audience nicely, one which any family mindful of the values being presented onscreen should feel secure in presenting to their kids.

WHY RENT THIS: Great surfing footage. Robb does an impressive job. Displays the family’s faith without becoming preachy.

WHY RENT SOMETHING ELSE: The ending is a bit heavy on the schmaltz. A few cookie-cutter characters added for dramatic value and some factual inconsistencies..

FAMILY VALUES:  The shark attack sequence may be a little too intense for impressionable sorts (although it isn’t especially gory or realistic) and some of the thematic elements might go over the heads of the smaller set.

TRIVIAL PURSUIT: The dog in the movie is Bethany’s own dog Hana; she makes a cameo appearance herself carrying a large box in the Thailand relief scene and her family can be seen just behind Quaid and Hunt in the church scene and Bethany performed the surf stunts for Robb.

NOTABLE DVD EXTRAS: There are featurettes on how Robb learned to surf and, eventually, inhabit the role of Bethany. There are a couple of featurettes on the real Bethany Hamilton, including some actual camcorder footage shot by her brother.

BOX OFFICE PERFORMANCE: $44.3M on an $18M production budget; the movie had a slightly profitable theatrical run.

FINAL RATING: 5.5/10

TOMORROW: You Don’t Mess With the Zohan

Fin

            The chum floated on the surface of the water, lovely red in a sea of grey-green. The salty smell of the fish blood and chunks of flesh excited the senses of the predator swimming in the cool green depths. His senses so acute, he could taste the blood in the water from nearly a mile away. With powerful thrusts of his tail and flukes, he moved through the water like a rocket, intent on his prey.

            Tara tied her bikini top and adjusted it. Her pink nipples and aureole peered out. It wouldn’t do to have those in public view, although she’d been known to allow an occasional nip slip from time to time to keep the boys firmly in the palm of her hand. Tara was a bit of a closet exhibitionist in some ways.

            She was also a total beach babe. Her blonde hair and blue eyes gave her an almost Nordic cast, but the tan of her skin was pure California. Even though it was overcast and grey out, she wanted to take a nice swim. It was part of her regimen; keeping fit was important and a daily three mile swim in the nearby waters were part of keeping her fit and trim. She enjoyed the attention of boys more than most.

            She smiled to herself as she looked around her apartment at the wreckage from last night. She’d picked him up in a local bar, an English lad who said football when he meant soccer and that was his passion. She’d taken him home and found him pleasantly aggressive in the bed – not that they’d limited their passions to the bedroom. No, he’d had her on the couch, on the living room floor, in the bathroom as well as in the bed. Truth be told, she was sore down there today – a pleasant, lovely throbbing ache that reminded her of the pleasures of last night.

            He had left shortly before dawn, giving her one last fuck before heading back to his house. He promised to call her later and she kind of hoped he would; she hadn’t had sex that good for awhile and Tara liked sex even when it wasn’t good. As she brushed her hair and tied it in a ponytail behind her, she saw in the reflection of her mirror the bed, stained and rumpled from last night’s activities. She felt a pleasant shiver in between her legs as she remembered the feelings of her lad inside her. She couldn’t stop smiling.

            She pulled out a pair of cutoff jeans and a t-shirt, then sat on the bed and fished out her flip flops. She could still smell him on the pillows. Her grin widened. Life was damn good when you’re hot, blonde and strong.

            She grabbed a clean beach towel and stuffed it in her beach bag, along with her sun screen, a tube of Chapstick, a bottle of water and the book she was reading, something by John Grisham. She grabbed her keys and a couple of granola bars in case she wanted to snack while she was sunning and threw them in the bag; as she walked out she remembered one last thing and grabbed it, throwing it in the bag before heading out the door.

            In her little Jetta convertible, she grabbed her sunglasses from the glove compartment and put them on even though it was cloudy. Starting her car, she grabbed a CD of pop tunes and stuck it in the player before roaring out of the apartment parking lot. She drove with the top down and the CD player blaring high energy rock tunes with which she sang loudly. It was early on a Sunday morning and there were few people about which suited Tara just fine. She liked to get her swim in before the beach got too crowded; when there were guys about, she wanted to be tanning, not out in the water concentrating on her swim.

            The beach was only a ten minute drive from her apartment and the parking lot was empty as she pulled in to her usual spot. She was still humming the tune she’d been singing as she shut the engine off and grabbed her things. Locking the car door behind her, she walked towards her favorite spot on the beach, near the lifeguard station, close to the water but not so close that she didn’t get the benefit of traffic. Even though it was overcast and a bit chilly for this time of year, it was supposed to warm up later on in the morning. Perfect.

            She set down her bag and pulled out her towel, laying it down on the sand and using her sandals to anchor it down. She felt the sea breeze hitting her legs and as it always did, it felt glorious. She quickly stripped off her t-shirt and cutoffs and dropped them in her beach bag. Her drying towel was in there; she made a mental note that she needed to do laundry today when she got home, as she was running low on towels but then going to the beach nearly every day will do that to you.

            She took off the sunglasses and tossed them in the beach bag. She spent a few moments stretching, limbering up for her morning swim. She was an impressive sight in her blue bikini, her body fit and tan. She would have turned a few heads were there any around to turn. Even the lifeguards hadn’t gotten in yet which was fine; the one that had been here lately was a douchebag. He just stared at her with eyes that were predatory; she was sure he would rape her if he got her in a dark alley. Not that she was above having sex with a lifeguard – she’d had a steamy little affair with Justin, the guy who had worked here most of the summer but Eric, the new guy, he wasn’t nearly as cute as Justin so it would have to be rape if he wanted to get into her panties.

            She giggled at herself. What a strange thought. Maybe she was off the market anyway. Jamie, her English lad, had a lot of possibilities. Maybe he would be the one who finally made an honest woman of her. If the sex continued to be like it was last night, he might be the only man on Earth able to satisfy her. She chuckled to herself. When did I become such a slut? she thought to herself, smiling. She was one of those women who enjoyed sex and didn’t care if people thought she was a slut for it. If we weren’t supposed to have sex, she told her girlfriends at the bar just last night, why did it feel so goddamn good?

            She finished stretching and trotted towards the water. The water was cold in the morning but she didn’t mind; it was invigorating not to mention refreshing. Her nipples immediately hardened, a pleasant sensation. She splashed out into the water until she was thigh deep and then started her swim.

            She liked the solitude of her morning swim. It gave her a chance to clear her head and just enjoy the physical sensations of her exertions. She could easily go to the gym (and when the weather was bad, that’s what she did) but she disliked the crowds and guys hitting on her when she was trying to work out. Here, nobody bothered her – this particular beach was almost always deserted until about 10am, two hours from now. Her swim usually took her about an hour as she would go out to the buoy and back, then repeat. Justin had told her that the buoy was about three quarters of a mile out, so two laps would take her three miles which was plenty of workout for her.

            She swam with slow, easy strokes, not in any particular hurry. Tara wasn’t about speed; she just wanted to enjoy her swim. She had powerful legs; years of dancing and rollerblading had given her that. She kicked strongly and as she looked back she saw the beach moving further and further away in her view. The current was a little strong but nothing she couldn’t handle.

            The predator had a sense of things and he knew that the other thing floating in the water by the chum was danger. He saw the other predators in the area feeding on the blood and sensed them suddenly thrash in pain and fear as they were attacked from above. He moved well away from the trap until he sensed something else; something in the water splashing not far away. Instantly he turned and swam away.

            She saw the buoy and realized she was a little off course. She righted herself and swam towards it, grabbing hold of it for a moment, catching her breath before shoving off of it and heading back to the beach. She continued to cut through the water, feeling the cool waters envelop her. She felt a little like the mermaid she longed to be as a little girl. She smiled inwardly; she wondered what Ariel would have thought of her activities last night. She giggled to herself as she soon reached the shore. Again she paused, catching her breath yet again before setting off on her final lap towards the buoy.

            Before she was even halfway there she realized it was a mistake. The current had grown much stronger now, and it was difficult going. She was kicking harder, paddling to near-exhaustion just to stay more or less in the same place. She realized that she was being pulled out to sea. She reached out for the buoy but the current had already pulled her past it. She screamed for help, hopelessly; she knew even as she did there was nobody to hear her.

            She hadn’t been in a rip current before but she knew the worst thing she could do was panic. She took a deep breath. She tried to organize her thoughts. What to do…if she continued to fight the current she’d be exhausted in a matter of minutes, then she’d be in real trouble. Tara had no illusions that help would come for her. She knew she had to get out of this situation herself.

            Then she remembered. Swim parallel to the shore until she escaped the current. She began to do that. Elsinore Beach was just a bit up the coast and there were surfers there…lifeguards. She began paddling in that direction. She was making some progress but she was already tired and she found she was splashing much more than usual. She had to keep her focus!

            The predator was much closer now and realized that the splashing thing was not a seal or a fish. It was something else entirely. If it had been able to smile, it would have; it recognized the scent of panic and the scent of blood. It was like a marine missile, aimed straight at the splashing entity. It recognized the smell of it in the water. It had eaten meat like this before.

            Tara’s muscles hurt and she felt like there were weights tied to her wrists and ankles. She felt tears leaking from her eyes but she gave herself a mental kick in the ass. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, she thought, Just keep your head and you’ll get out of this. Doggedly, she started swimming harder, knowing that sooner or later she’d get past this rip current and be able to swim safely ashore.

            She was a good mile and a half offshore when she felt the resistance of the current lessen. Relief flooded through Tara as she began to aim back towards the shore. Hope renewed her strength and she began swimming harder. It would all be over soon.

            She felt something bump up against her and wondered if some inquisitive fish had checked her out. She smiled at that. Must have been a boy fish. She could see the shore getting closer and closer and she thought she could make out some human figures on it.

            The pain shot through her like nothing she’d ever experienced. She screamed at the top of her lungs, agony coursing through her. The water turned red around her. “What…what’s….what’s happening?” she stammered. She looked around wildly for some clue as to what happened but she couldn’t see a thing. She began swimming again for shore but for some reason she couldn’t move her legs.

            It erupted out of the water, the predator and grabbed Tara by her abdomen. Her wails of fear and pain were the last sounds she’d ever make as she was dragged under the water by the shark that the authorities up and down the coast were chasing after having attacked four other swimmers in the past month. She struggled to escape the jaws of the predator but it was too strong and Tara too weak from both the swim and the loss of blood to put up much of a fight. The blood clouded the water as darkness took her.

********************************************************************************************************************

             Eric walked towards the lifeguard station carrying a cooler with his lunch and a couple of beers. Might as well enjoy himself if he had to hang out all day in this shithole of a beach. He noticed a towel, beach bag and some clothes strewn on the sand near his station. He looked up and down the beach but there was nobody on the sand and nobody in the water. He looked back to the parking lot and saw a small convertible parked there not far from his own Mustang.

            Stupid chick must have gone home and fucked some guy and forgotten her stuff. Well, he’d put it in the station on the off chance she’d return. She’d left her car there after all. Still, wouldn’t hurt to check the bag to see if there was some cash in there. He can always say someone else must have stolen it.

            Sunscreen. A book. Keys. Granola bars. A plastic water bottle. Another towel. And a tampon. Ewwwww! Eric chucked the tampon back into the bag. Stupid slut. No cash. He tossed the bag in a corner of the lifeguard station and forgot about it even before it landed with a thud that sounded to his ears final.

            He put up the rip current flag and made sure the sign was up warning people out of the water, then settled back in his chair and waited for the crowds to come. Lots of babes in bikinis, all of them thrilled out of their minds to talk with a stud lifeguard like him. Life is damned good when you’re young, hot and strong.