The Losers


The Losers

Jeffrey Dean Morgan knows that two sub-machine guns are ALWAYS better than one.

(Warner Brothers) Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Zoe Saldana, Chris Evans, Jason Patric, Idris Elba, Columbus Short, Holt McCallany, Oscar Jaenada, Peter Macdissi, Ernesto Morales, Peter Francis James, Tanee McCall, Krissy Korn. Directed by Sylvain White

When you want to send in a fighting force, you send in the Marines. When you need a tougher job done, you send in the Navy Seals. When you need the impossible done, you send in the Losers.

The Losers are one of those elite fighting forces who can get just about any job done. They are commanded by Hannibal….err, Colonel Clay (Morgan) who is a cool customer except when it comes to the ladies. His right arm is Roque (Elba), a lethal weapon on two legs. Their technology expert is Jensen (Evans) who has a mouth that just won’t stop, while Cougar (Jaenada) is their quiet and intense sniper who is as deadly with a rifle as anyone you’re likely to find. The man who gets them from place to place is Pooch (Short) whose wife is about to give birth. He gets his name from the Chihuahua bobble-head he takes with him for good luck on the dashboard of every vehicle he drives or flies.

They’ve been sent to South America to paint the home of a drug dealer with a laser target so that it can be targeted with a missile. It all seems pretty routine, although Roque wonders why a team as elite as they are would be sent on a mission that nearly any reconnaissance team could do. Then, as the jet with the missile is approaching, a busload of school children arrives at the hacienda. Clay gets on the radio to abort the mission, but a mysterious voice identifying himself as Max (Patric) tells the pilot to deliver the payload as instructed, then blocks the communications of the Losers. The team goes down to save the day and does, but not before Clay kills the drug dealer (Morales) they were sent to take out. Unfortunately, when the helicopter comes that is meant to fly them to safety, there’s not enough room for all of them. Without hesitating, Clay puts the kids aboard. Then, before the horrified eyes of the team, the copter is shot down and everyone aboard is killed.

Clay realizes that they were meant to be on that chopper and that the world believes they’re dead. In order to avoid becoming that way for real, they need to let the rest of the world go on thinking that. Of the team, only Pooch and Jensen have families although in Jensen’s case its siblings and a niece whose soccer team he follows like he’s got money on them in Vegas. The team is working  menial jobs trying to get back home when Clay is approached by a mysterious but beautiful woman named Aisha (Saldana) with an offer he can’t refuse – she’ll get the team back to the States as long as they help her take out Max. Clay is more than willing to accept the offer, but he quickly realizes that Max has a more insidious agenda on his mind and Aisha’s own motivations are questionable. It will take a good deal of firepower and skill to get out of this situation alive but then again, they were dead to begin with.

This is based on a DC/Vertigo comic series of the same name and yes, there are more than a few similarities to the A-Team and other movies of that ilk; in fact, I can think of three like it coming out this year alone (besides the A-Team feature there’s also the all-star action flick The Expendables coming out later this summer) that have a similar plot. Frankly, I didn’t realize there were that many elite teams being sent to South America only to be betrayed and forced to fight powerful forces in order to clear their names. It would sure make me think twice before joining an elite fighting unit eh?

I really like Morgan in his role as Clay. He’s tough as nails but not without character flaws. His relationship with Roque and the triangle that is formed with Aisha is at the heart of the movie and with Elba, another excellent character actor the heart is beating nice and strong.

Evans is making a career out of the smart-talking team member (he plays Johnny Storm in the Fantastic Four movies) and will be Steve Rogers in the upcoming Captain America movie, which just means he’s comfortable with comic book adaptations. He is one of the highlights here.

I liked Patric as Max, although Da Queen disagrees with me strongly here – she felt Max was the weak link in the movie. I think the character is way over-the-top but let’s face it, the movie really needs someone like it, someone so obsessed and drunk with his own power and sense of rightness that he can casually shoot someone for stumbling while holding the umbrella that was shading him. Now that’s just evil, you know?

Director White has little experience with action movies, but showed himself to be more than capable here. The action sequences are well done, but most importantly paced so as not to give the audience a whole lot of time to catch their breath. There’s enough quirky humor to balance the testosterone-fueled action sequences and there’s a style that gives homage to the film’s comic book roots and makes it a little slicker than the average bear.

Clearly this is meant to be the starting point for a franchise but the opening weekend box office numbers were disappointing so there’s little chance of that happening, which is a crying shame but in some ways perhaps inevitable – as I mentioned earlier there are far too many movies with similar plot points in the pipeline and far more that have come out in theaters and on television over the past five or six years. Still, this is one of the better representatives of the genre and those of you who turned away from the movie last weekend would do well to reconsider, particularly if you’re out for a little mindless entertainment, because this so fits the bill on that score.

REASONS TO GO: It’s big, it’s dumb, and it’s a whole lot of fun. No real new ground is broken but the characters are well-drawn, the action is spiffy and the pacing is breakneck.

REASONS TO STAY: The plot is kind of old hat and while the characters themselves are well-thought out, they are nonetheless a bit on the cliché side as elite Special Forces teams go.

FAMILY VALUES: There’s a lot of shooting, a good deal of things blowing up real good and one scene that’s on the sexy side. In other words, pretty much what you’d find in your standard broadcast TV show.

TRIVIAL PURSUIT: The story is somewhat loosely based on the arc published in the comic book series’ first six issues, collectively called “Ante Up.”

HOME OR THEATER: Sure, there are some big bangs and action films tend to work better on the big screen but quite frankly I think it would be just as swell on a good home theater system.

FINAL RATING: 7/10

TOMORROW: Shotgun Stories

New Releases for the Week of April 23, 2010


April 23, 2010

Don't be fooled; those fingers are loaded!!

THE LOSERS

(Warner Brothers) Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Zoe Saldana, Chris Evans, Idris Elba, Columbus Short, Holt McCallany, Oscar Jaenada, Jason Patric. Directed by Sylvain White

An elite Special Forces team that gets the job done when nobody else can is betrayed by a high-level government functionary and left for dead. Thought to be out of the picture, the Losers plot their revenge against a man they know only as Max. They are joined by Aisha, a lovely but deadly operative who may have her own agenda. Working as only they can, they must stop Max from dragging the world into a new kind of global high-tech war.

See the trailer, featurettes and a clip here.

For more on the movie this is the website.

Release formats: Standard

Rating: PG-13 (for sequences of intense action and violence, a scene of sensuality and language)

The Back-Up Plan

(CBS) Jennifer Lopez, Alex O’Laughlin, Eric Christian Olsen, Michaela Watkins. Zoe is a veteran of the dating wars and has yet to find the right guy. Still, her biological clock is ticking and the noise is getting louder. She decides to go to Plan B, artificial insemination and it looks like the procedure is a success. Of course, life being what it is, that’s the time when Mr. Right shows up. Can the relationship grow properly with a baby on the way, one that’s not even his?

See the trailer, featurette and clips here.

For more on the movie this is the website.

Release formats: Standard

Rating: PG-13 (for sexual content including references, some crude material and language)

Kenny Chesney: Summer in 3D

(Hot Ticket/Sony) Kenny Chesney. 3D footage shot from the country singer’s Sun City Carnival tour last summer will give viewers a unique concert film experience, experiencing more closely than ever what it’s like to be there.

See the trailer here.

For more on the movie this is the website.

Release formats: 3D Special Engagement

Rating: Unrated but suitable for general audiences

Mother

(Magnolia) Hye-ja Kim, Bin Won, Goo Jin, Yoon Jae-Moon. When a feckless young man is convicted of the vicious murder of a young girl, his mother sets out to prove her son’s innocence and is instead drawn into something far darker than she ever expected to be. From the award-winning director of The Host.  

See the trailer here.

For more on the movie this is the website.

Release formats: Standard

Rating: R (for language, some sexual content, violence and drug use)

Oceans

(DisneyNature) Pierce Brosnan. From the filmmakers who brought you Earth comes the second in the new Disney nature documentary series. Opening on Earth Day, the film will take us below the waves to see, for the first time, some of the wonderful and strange creatures that live there.

See the trailer and clips here.

For more on the movie this is the website.

Release formats: Standard

Rating: G

A Prophet

(Sony Classics) Tahar Rahim, Niels Arestrup, Adel Bencherif, Hichem Yacoubi. A young illiterate Frenchmen of Arabic descent is imprisoned and attracts the attention of a powerful Corsican crime lord who gives the young man an ultimatum; kill a fellow inmate or be killed himself. This turns young Malik down a path that will change him forever. This film swept the Cesar awards (the French Oscars) and has won acclaim everywhere it has been shown.

See the trailer and clips here.

For more on the movie this is the website.

Release formats: Standard

Rating: R (for strong violence, sexual content, nudity, language and drug material)

Four-Warned: April 2010


Every month I’m going to look at every movie on the release schedule and try to assign them a numerical value corresponding to how anxious I am to see it. The lower the number, the more I want to see it. A one means I would walk through hell and high water to see it; a four means there’s no interest whatsoever. The numbers are not arrived at scientifically but they aren’t arbitrary either.

The numbers aren’t a reflection of the artistic merit of any of these films, but merely a reflection of my willingness to go to a movie theater and see it. The top four scores will be gathered as a means of reflecting the movies I’m anticipating the most; you may use that as a guide or not.

Each entry is broken down as follows:

NAME OF FILM (Studio) Genre A brief description of the plot. Release plans: Wide = Everywhere, Limited = In selected markets. RATING A brief explanation

Keep in mind that release dates are extremely subject to change, even at this late date.

FOUR TO SEE

1. KICK-ASS (1.0)
2. CLASH OF THE TITANS (1.2)
3. THE LOSERS (1.2)
4. THE WARLORDS (1.6)
Tie. OCEANS (1.6)

RATING SYSTEM: 1) Must-see, 2) Should-see, 3) Perhaps-see, 4) Don’t-see.

APRIL 2, 2010

BREAKING UPWARDS (IFC) Genre: Indie Drama. A young New York couple decides to break up but chooses to follow an unusual strategy. Release Strategy: New York (Opening in Los Angeles April 9). RATING: 3.2 Scored a little high on the pretentious meter.
CLASH OF THE TITANS (Warner Brothers) Genre: Fantasy. Men are pitted against Gods in Ancient Greece in a war that threatens to destroy them both. Release Strategy: Wide (Standard and 3D). RATING: 1.2 Spectacular remake of 80s film looks good but could take itself too seriously.
DON MCKAY (Image Entertainment) Genre: Indie Thriller. A man returns to his hometown two decades after leaving it at the behest of his ex-girlfriend only to find himself ensnared by a dark scheme. Release Strategy: Limited. RATING: 2.0 Thomas Haden Church stars? I’m sooo there!
THE GREATEST (Paladin) Genre: Indie Drama. A grieving couple takes in the pregnant girlfriend of their dead son and finds their lives transformed in the process. Release Strategy: Limited. RATING: 1.7 A strong cast highlight what looks to be a powerful drama.
LEAVES OF GRASS (First Look) Genre: Comedy/Thriller. A straight-arrow college professor returns home to bury his drug-dealing twin brother only to discover he’s not quite dead yet. Release Strategy: Limited. RATING: 1.9 Double the Edward Norton, double the fun.
THE THORN IN THE HEART (Oscilloscope Laboratories) Genre: Documentary. Acclaimed director Michel Gondry films his most personal movie yet – the story of his Aunt Suzette. Release Strategy: New York only. RATING: 3.3 I’m curious to see how Gondry does with more traditional storytelling methods.
TYLER PERRY’S WHY DID I GET MARRIED TOO? (Lionsgate) Genre: Urban Dramedy. The sequel to Perry’s look at modern marriage as eight college friends struggle with the challenges of 21st century relationships. Release Strategy: Wide. RATING: 3.5 The first movie was terribly uneven; didn’t leave it wanting to see a sequel.
THE WARLORDS (Magnet) Genre: Foreign Epic Drama. Three friends try to survive a time of political upheaval and political intrigue in 19th Century China. Release Strategy: Limited. RATING: 1.6 Jet Li stars in another visual treat from China.

APRIL 9, 2010

AFTER.LIFE (Anchor Bay) Genre: Psychological Horror. A young woman wakes up to find out that she is dead and is being prepared for her funeral by a man who may not be what he appears to be. Release Strategy: Limited. RATING: 2.1 Liam Neeson and Christina Ricci star in this movie that looks to be scary as all hell.
THE BLACK WATERS OF ECHO’S POND (Project 8) Genre: Supernatural Horror. A group of friends on vacation play an archaic board game and release evil in the process. Release Strategy: Limited. RATING: 2.8 Been there, done that.
DATE NIGHT (20th Century Fox) Genre: Comedy. A couple out on a rare night out find themselves caught in a case of mistaken identity that will make their evening a lot crazier than they bargained for. Release Strategy: Wide. RATING: 2.3 Steve Carrell plus Tina Fey equals box office gold.
EVERYONE ELSE (The Cinema Guild) Genre: Foreign Romance. A couple on holiday find the differences between them exposed when they hook up with a couple that is clearly happier than they are. Release Strategy: New York only. RATING: 2.9 Subject matter doesn’t exactly grab my interest.
LA MISSION (Screen Media) Genre: Indie Drama. A tough and respected Latino bus driver in San Francisco must come to terms with his gay son. Release Strategy: Limited. RATING: 2.5 Gay issues haven’t been explored too thoroughly in Latino cinema.
LETTERS TO GOD (Vivendi) Genre: Spiritual Family Drama. A young cancer patient’s letters to the Almighty have a powerful effect on a postal worker. Release Strategy: Limited. RATING: 3.8 Explorations of faith done family-style have a tendency to be preachy in my experience.
THE SQUARE (Apparition) Genre: Foreign Thriller. A married man has an affair with a married woman leading to arson, blackmail and mayhem. Release Strategy: New York/Los Angeles. RATING: 2.3 The trailer looked very intriguing.
WHEN YOU’RE STRANGE: A FILM ABOUT THE DOORS (Abramorama) Genre: Documentary. Ummmm…it’s a film about the Doors. What are you, stupid? Release Strategy: Limited. RATING: 3.6 After No One Here Gets Out Alive, do we really need another documentary about The Doors?
WHO DO YOU LOVE? (International Film Circuit) Genre: Biopic. The story of Chess Records impresario Leonard Chess. Release Strategy: New York (Opening in Los Angeles April 16). RATING: 3.8 Didn’t somebody already make Cadillac Records?

APRIL 16, 2010

A SHINE OF RAINBOWS (Seville) Genre: Family Drama. An extraordinary and magical woman helps an orphan find self-acceptance in a small village in Ireland. Release Strategy: Canada.  RATING: 3.8 Ah those zany Irish!
THE CITY OF YOUR FINAL DESTINATION (Screen Media) Genre: Drama. An inter-familial battle ensues over the biographical rights of a recently deceased South American author. Release Strategy: Limited. RATING: 3.0 James Ivory of Merchant-Ivory reunited with Anthony Hopkins…suh-weet!
DEATH AT A FUNERAL (Screen Gems) Genre: Urban Comedy. Hi-jinks ensue at the funeral of an African-American family patriarch. Release Strategy: Wide. RATING: 2.9 An urban remake of an English comedy? Hmmm…
EXIT THROUGH THE GIFT SHOP (Producers Distribution Agency) Genre: Documentary. The story of the mysterious and mercurial graffiti artist Banksy. Release Strategy: Limited. RATING: 4.0 I have ABSOLUTELY no desire to see a film about a defacer of public buildings.
HANDSOME HARRY (Paladin) Genre: Mystery. A Vietnam vet tries to make amends for a crime committed by a group of his buddies during the war. Release Strategy: Limited. RATING: 2.9 Could be intriguing.
THE JONESES
(Roadside Attractions) Genre: Dark Comedy. A marketing company assembles a group of people together to pose as a family in order to incite people to buy products they don’t need. Release Strategy: Limited. RATING: 2.0 I’d like to keep up with THESE Joneses.
KICK-ASS (Lionsgate) Genre: Superhero Action. A high school student decides to adopt the persona of a superhero – even though he has no super powers. Release Strategy: Wide. RATING: 4.0 Has had a huge buzz ever since ComiCon last year.
MESRINE: A FILM IN TWO PARTS (Music Box) Genre: Foreign Crime Drama Biopic. The true story of Jacques Mesrine, one of the most notorious criminals in France. Release Strategy: Limited. RATING: 2.1 After Un Prophet French gangster movies are in vogue.
NO-ONE KNOWS ABOUT PERSIAN CATS (IFC) Genre: Drama. Underground indie rock bands in Teheran risk arrest in order to follow their muse. Release Strategy: New York (Opening in Los Angeles April 23). RATING: 2.4 Could make Iranian indie rock hip.
THE PERFECT GAME (Slowhand Releasing) Genre: Sports Drama. A group of poor boys from Monterrey, Mexico become the first non-American team to win the Little League World Series. Release Strategy: Limited RATING: 3.1 Have they run out of inspirational sports stories yet?
THE SECRET IN THEIR EYES (Sony Classics) Genre: Foreign Thriller. A court reporter decides to write a novel about a sensational crime he was assigned to, dredging up memories some of which should have best remained forgotten. Release Strategy: Limited. RATING: 1.9 Won the Best Foreign Language Film Oscar this year.

APRIL 21, 2010

KENNY CHESNEY: SUMMER IN 3D (Sony Hot Ticket) Genre: Concert Film. Footage taken from Chesney’s Sun City Carnival tour last year. Release Strategy: Limited, Special Engagement. RATING: 3.6 I must admit that I’m not much of a country music fan.

APRIL 22, 2010

ACCIDENTS HAPPEN (Hopscotch/Galvanized) Genre: Indie Dramedy. A young traumatized teen hangs out with a local troublemaker in order to anger his family with unforeseen consequences. Release Strategy: Limited. RATING: 2.9 Sounds like I’ve seen this one before.
OCEANS (DisneyNature) Genre: Nature Documentary. A glimpse below the surface of the world’s oceans, a place we know less about than the surface of the moon. Release Strategy: Wide. RATING: 1.6 From the makers of Planet Earth.

APRIL 23, 2010

THE BACK-UP PLAN (CBS) Genre: Comedy. A young Manhattanite who has a biological clock whose alarm is about to go off resorts to Plan B – only to fall in love. Release Strategy: Wide. RATING: 3.7 Can you say “Baby Mama”?
BEST WORST MOVIE (Area 23A) Genre: Documentary. The story of the making of the film Troll 2, arguably one of the worst movies ever made. Release Strategy: Austin TX (Opening in New York on May 14 and in Los Angeles on May 21). RATING: 2.5 What is more lovable than an utter cinematic bomb?
BOOGIE WOOGIE (IFC) Genre: Comedy. An ensemble comedy about the London art scene. Release Strategy: Limited. RATING: 3.2 Art for art’s sake is not my cup of tea.
THE GOOD, THE BAD, THE WEIRD (IFC) Genre: Foreign Western. Three strangers on a train compete for a mysterious map in this Korean (!) Western. Release Strategy: Limited. RATING: 2.9 East meets West.
HEY HEY IT’S ESTHER BLUEBURGER (Monterey Media) Genre: Indie Comedy. A young Jewish girl flees her Bat Mitzvah to try and fit in a hipper family while masquerading as a Swedish exchange student. Release Strategy: Limited. RATING: 3.1 I’ve seen Undercover Brother but Undercover Jew?!
LET IT RAIN (IFC) Genre: Foreign Drama. When a family gathers to bury its matriarch, the housekeeper’s son resolves to make a documentary about Agathe, the politically oriented daughter. Release Strategy: Limited. RATING: 3.7 The French excel at such dramas but I’ve seen quite a few of them lately.
THE LOSERS (Warner Brothers) Genre: Action. A highly trained group of special ops agents are betrayed from the inside and go on the hunt to restore their name. Release Strategy: Wide. RATING: 1.2 Like the A-Team with an edge…

APRIL 28, 2010

THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE (IFC) Genre: Horror. A mad scientist attempts to fuse people together in a reverse engineering of Siamese Twins. Release Strategy: Limited. RATING: 2.6 Could be delightfully weird.

APRIL 30, 2010

A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET (New Line) Genre: Horror. A remake of the iconic 80s horror film starring Jackie Earle Haley as Freddie Krueger. Release Strategy: Wide. RATING: 2.0 One, two, Freddie’s coming for you…
FURRY VENGEANCE (Summit) Genre: Family Comedy. When a developer plans to put houses where a forest used to be, the critters that live there fight back. Release Strategy: Wide. RATING: 2.8 I don’t think I’m ready to see ninja woodchucks.
THE GOOD HEART (Magnolia) Genre: Indie Drama. A bar owner who is drinking and smoking himself to death takes a young man under his wing. Release Strategy: Limited. RATING: 2.2 Ready to belly up to this bar.
HARRY BROWN (Goldwyn) Genre: Indie Crime Thriller. A retired Special Forces soldier decides to fight back when young thugs take over his neighborhood. Release Strategy: Limited. RATING: 2.2 Michael Caine as a septuagenarian Rambo? Slap me and call me Sally!
I LOVE YOU PHILIP MORRIS (Freestyle Releasing) Genre: Comedy. A Texas criminal falls in love with his cellmate and escapes from jail four times to be with him. Release Strategy: Limited (Opening Wide on May 7). RATING: 3.0 Jim Carey as a hardened criminal? Stretches believability to the limit.
MERCY (IFC) Genre: Indie Romance. An author falls in love with the only critic that doesn’t like his work. Release Strategy: Limited. RATING: 2.9 James Caan and Scott Caan in the same movie? It’s Caan-tagious!
PLEASE GIVE (Sony Classics) Genre: Dark Comedy. A Manhattan couple purchases the apartment next door to theirs in order to expand their own living space, but the elderly woman living in it refuses to die. Release Strategy: Limited. RATING: 2.1 From the trailer this looks pretty twisted; just the way I like it.

SCHEDULED TO BE REVIEWED HERE AS NEW RELEASES

Clash of the Titans, Leaves of Grass (Florida Film Festival), The Warlords (Florida Film Festival), Date Night, Kick-Ass, The Losers