Love, Weddings and Other Disasters

Jeremy Irons counts the number of blind jokes in the scene.

(2020) Romantic Comedy (Saban) Maggie Grace, Jeremy Irons, Diane Keaton, Andrew Bachelor, Diego Boneta, Jesse McCartney, Dennis Dugan, Todd Stashwick, Chandra West, Elle King, Melinda Hill, Andy Goldenberg, Caroline Portu, Richard Kline, Veronica Ferres, Levon Panek, William Xifaras, Ava Gaudet, Dennis Staroselsky, Rob Norton, Rachel Wirtz. Directed by Dennis Dugan

 

Romantic comedies seem to lend themselves to ensemble pieces, in which several different stories about a variety of couples finding love getting tied up with a nice, neat bow at the very end – which usually results in an ending. Far be it for the filmmakers behind Love, Weddings and Other Disasters to mess with the formula.

Jesse (Grace) is a pretty florist who has a type A personality, but became a reluctant viral video sensation when her fiancée dumped her in the middle of a skydive, causing her to dump him into a lake and sending her sailing into a wedding party on the adjoining dock. She became known around her native Boston as “The Wedding Trasher.”

Still, after stepping in to help plan a friend’s wedding, she is recommended to the fiancée of a Boston mayoral candidate (Staroselsky) to plan a big to-do for the candidate that will also score big political points. She takes on the job, much to the chagrin of Lawrence (Irons), the supercilious perfectionist of a caterer who is much in demand for the hoi polloi of Beantown. To make his day even worse, Laurence is set up on a blind date with Sara (Keaton), a photographer who is visually impaired and whose guide dog seems to have an unerring knack for launching her into things, such as the table with the meticulously set up champagne glass tower, sending it crashing to the floor. Even so, Laurence and Sara hit it off and after an actual date, he ends up spending the night at her place. While she’s asleep, he rearranges her furniture and then leaves her a love note. Laurence is a bit of a sadist, I think.

In the meantime, Jesse (remember her?) is trying hard to hire a rock band to play at the reception (the groom is a little bit classical, the bride is a little bit rock and roll – one is also tastes great, the other less filling) and she catches a band and is eager to hire them to do the wedding for which the guitarist (Boneta) is eager, but the front man not so much, leading to a rift in the band – and in the meantime, the guitar player falls in love with Jesse.

=And while all this is going on, a duck boat tour guide/captain (Bachelor) falls in love at first sight with a passenger with a glass slipper tattooed on her neck (Wirtz) and searches Boston for his Cinderella, becoming a cause celebre in the process, and the mayoral candidate’s goofy brother (Goldenberg) is appearing on the worst dating game show ever as contestants who are diametric opposites are chained together with the couple who lasts the longest winning a million dollars. Except instead of being a Harvard-trained lawyer that she claims to be, Svetlana (Hill) turns out to be a stripper with a mobster boss who wants to take a percentage of their winnings. And the hits keep right on coming.

For any screen romance to resonate with audiences, they have to invest in the couple and want them to get together. With all the different storylines going on, it’s nearly impossible to do that; all the characters and situations are woefully undeveloped and the plot, despite every attempt to make it edgy, is as predictable as the Kansas University basketball team having a winning season.

I don’t think this is the fault of the actors. Keaton is as wonderful as ever, and Irons is a pro as always, while Grace and Bachelor pour on the charm, but the writing is so tone-deaf, you end up looking up at the screen with jaw dropped and maybe even saying out loud “are you kidding me?” as the blind jokes are among the least offensive things going on in the humor department.

Still, those who love rom-coms will probably enjoy this because they are a particularly forgiving audience, and any chance to see actors like Keaton and Irons in action should be taken, even when the movies they are in aren’t so good. Just be warned, they are the bright spots in a movie that has few of them.

REASONS TO SEE: Irons and, particularly, Keaton are delightful.
REASONS TO AVOID: Standard, predictable rom-com anthology.
FAMILY VALUES: There is some profanity and sexual innuendo.
TRIVIAL PURSUIT: Dugan’s onscreen appearance as a game show host is his first screen appearance in seven years.
BEYOND THE THEATERS: Amazon, AppleTV, Fandango Now, Google Play, Vudu, YouTube
CRITICAL MASS: As of 12/8/20: Rotten Tomatoes: 5% positive reviews, Metacritic: 10/100
COMPARISON SHOPPING: New Year’s Eve
FINAL RATING: 5/10
NEXT: Doin’ My Drugs

For the Love of George

Nothing says Valentine’s Day like cuddling with your honey and a movie.

(2017) Romantic Comedy (Vision) Nadia Jordan, Rex Lee, Rosanna Arquette, Tate Donovan, Kristen Johnston, Shaun Sipos, Petra Bryant, Henry Hereford, Ruth Connell, Adrienne Whitney, Marina Sirtis, Paul Provenza, Ben Gleib, Tracy Ransome, Sandro Monetti, Jo Price, Ron S. Geffner, Danny Araujo, Valley Hintzen, Andrea Batista, Ian Mill, Laura Waddell. Directed by Maria Burton

 

One of the problems with romantic comedies is that although they are theoretically aimed at couples (and let’s face it, women in particular) they very rarely are the products of predominantly female creative sorts. That’s why it’s so refreshing to see a rom-com coming from a female writer-director who went out of her way to make sure that as many roles in the film’s behind the camera crew were filled by women. That gives this movie a much more authentic point of view of a female character than we normally get to experience.

Poppy (Jordan) has been going all out to prepare for her husband Stephen’s (Hereford) birthday, making a fantastic meal, baking a lovely cake and preparing for a romantic evening with rose petals on the bed, candles and sexy lingerie. When he calls saying that a rare bird had been spotted in the area (he’s an avid birdwatcher) she’s very much disappointed that he’s chosen to go out and find the bird but it is his birthday after all and he should spend it doing what he likes. After she hangs up, he calls her back and she realizes he’s butt-dialed her. And what she hears turns her world inside out and upside down.

Fed up with being the perfect wife to a man who is cheating on her, she decides to visit her former wedding planner Justin (Lee) in Los Angeles so she heads off to Heathrow and makes the long journey to Southern California to lick her wounds and figure out what happens next. While she’s there she sees a news story on George Clooney, the world’s most eligible bachelor (this is set some years ago) and the charity work he’s doing. The more she hears, the more she realizes that George is THE perfect man and sets out to go get him for herself.

Undaunted by reality, she goes to a bar that Clooney frequents but he’s not there that day. She also tries to attend a party that he’s invited to thrown by her new friend Marcy (Whitney) from Texas but the world’s worst Uber driver torpedoes her plans to meet him. After that disappointment, she goes to a bar to drown her sorrows and runs into a handsy Hollywood producer who tries to take things way too far – a scene that I’m sure resonates with a lot of women both in Hollywood and, well, everywhere else I imagine. Concerned that she has become obsessive about George, Justin refers her to a therapist (Arquette) who listens to her tales of woe with a somewhat skeptical ear.

She starts going out with Luke (Sipos), a vendor of vitamin juices who seems too good to be true – and is. However, she’s bonded with not only Justin but Marcy and Irina (Bryant), Justin’s Russian housekeeper who while at first rubbing Poppy the wrong way eventually finds common ground with her. The strong bonds of sisterhood are very much a theme here. However all is once again thrown into turmoil with the arrival of Steven, looking to win his wife back. On top of that, news of George Clooney’s engagement has put her into a tailspin. Will she give him a second chance or will she embrace the happiness she has found in Los Angeles and continue to live the life she has chosen for herself?

This is very much a woman’s movie in that one of the central themes is empowerment; that women shouldn’t necessarily live for their husband and/or children but also live for themselves. Poppy as a character starts off very nurturing and giving but ends up standing up for herself in ways she probably didn’t know she could. I wouldn’t say that most of the straight male characters in the movie are jerks but most of the important ones are which might ruin the romantic mood for the straight guy in your life.

Then again, most of the characters here aren’t particularly well drawn out with the exception of Poppy. Justin is the gay Asian male who is sexually aggressive and a little bit catty but a loyal gay friend; Irina is the Russian immigrant with vague ties to the mob and an affinity for vodka. Luke is a dumb as a rock hunk who in typical male fashion gives little thought to Poppy’s needs except to use them as a means to get what he wants. Marcy is a Texas hottie with a thick drawl and a big personality, while Sharon (Sirtis) who is Poppy’s boss at the online publication she writes for (yes, Poppy is a writer – isn’t everyone in indie films?) is a high-strung English version of a New York Jewish lady who kvetches with an English accent.

I would have liked to have seen fewer clichés and characters – and plot points – that were a bit more realistic. Considering what Burton was trying to do here, I think it would have benefited her to rather than go for the laughs at the expense of the story to have emphasized the romance and the characters. The empowerment message would have gone a lot farther I think had she done that.

I’m not so sure this is an ideal Valentine’s Day movie – Poppy is a little too hung up on Clooney and the flaws a bit too glaring for an unqualified recommendation, but certainly there are some aspects here worth cheering for and hopefully Burton will learn from this film and go on to make some movies that really do send positive messages that young women in particular need to hear at this point in time.

REASONS TO GO: This is very much of a feminine perspective with a side of empowerment.
REASONS TO STAY: There are a few too many stereotypical characters and plot devices.
FAMILY VALUES: There is some mild profanity and sexual situations.
TRIVIAL PURSUIT: Burton was inspired to write the movie after reading Don Cheadle’s book Not on Our Watch which details Clooney’s involvement with raising awareness of the genocide in Darfur and she realized that the world’s most eligible bachelor (at the time) was also an unusually sensitive and compassionate man. Two weeks later his engagement was announced and she had her idea for her film.
BEYOND THE THEATER: Amazon, Fandango Now, Vudu
CRITICAL MASS: As of 2/14/18: Rotten Tomatoes: No score yet. Metacritic: No score yet.
COMPARISON SHOPPING: Love Field
FINAL RATING: 5.5/10
NEXT: The Millionaires’ Unit

Ride Along 2

Kevin Hart begs the critics to stop writing mean things about his movies.

(2016) Comedy (Universal) Kevin Hart, Ice Cube, Olivia Munn, Ken Jeong, Benjamin Bratt, Tika Sumpter, Bruce McGill, Michael Rose, Sherri Shepherd, Arturo del Puerto, Eric Goins, Carlos Gomez, Utkarsh Ambudkar, Glen Powell, Nadine Velazquez, Bresha Webb, Jessica Blalick, Michelle Pieroway, Shelby Courtney, James Martin Kelly, Robert Pralgo, Tyrese Gibson, Liz Godwin. Directed by Tim Story

There are times as a critic that you simply have to understand that there are movies that aren’t meant for you. Their success is completely independent of what you think and quite frankly, you’re a pretty superfluous cog in the process. You also have to understand that just because you don’t find something funny doesn’t mean that others don’t as well.

Kevin Hart is a comedic actor who laughs all the way to the bank. His movies are essentially critic-proof; while he’s never gotten reviews above the lukewarm level, his movies time after time are hits. Does that say something about America’s sense of humor? Probably. It just as likely says something about critics’ understanding of filmgoers.

In this buddy cop sequel, Hart plays Ben Bishop, now a rookie cop having graduated from the academy he hadn’t entered yet two years ago for the first Ride Along. During a stake out, despite having been told by his soon-to-be brother-in-law James Payton (Cube) who is an accomplished and let’s just say badass detective, to stay in the van, he almost ruins a drug bust by coming in and interfering at exactly the wrong moment, ending up getting Payton’s partner (Gibson) shot.

However the incident unearths facts that lead James to Miami where a prominent businessman (Bratt) turns out to be a vicious drug lord looking to set up a superhighway of illegal material through the Southeast. Even though he’s marrying James’ sister (Sumpter) in a week, Ben begs James to let him tag along – which finally and inexplicably James allows him to.

Along with a cute Miami detective (Munn) and a greedy womanizing hacker (Jeong), the two misfit cops make their way through Miami like bulls in a china shop. Ben causes havoc wherever he goes until accidentally stumbling onto clues that lead the more serious James closer to getting his man, if the man doesn’t get them first.

One thing that can be said about Ride Along 2 is that it has already made history; it will forever be remembered as the movie that stopped Star Wars: The Force Awakens box office run as weekend champion. Pretty much though, that’s all the history it’s going to make. Kevin Hart has tons and tons of screen presence. He can also be a really funny guy when given the right material to work with. Most of the jokes here are fairly tired although there were a few good laughs in and among the bunch.

He has some pretty decent support. Ice Cube has become a solid actor and while he hasn’t displayed a ton of range yet, he does what he does really well. Munn has a huge amount of talent; she’s been impressive in virtually everything I’ve seen her in. However, she’s awaiting – and still awaits – that right role that will put her over the top.

So why doesn’t this movie work as well as it might? Well, the writing is the big culprit. The plot doesn’t seem to have been given a whole lot of thought and that would be okay if there were the jokes to cover for it but that is simply not the case. I will grant you that my sense of humor may be a lot different than most people’s but at the crowded screening I attended, I didn’t hear a ton of laughter. The action sequences are pretty rote, and there’s a touch too much mugging and not enough acting. The appeal of Hart is undeniable but sometimes a little Hart goes a long way.

At the end of the day, this falls under the “pleasant but not memorable” category. It’s entertaining enough that you can pass the time with it nicely, but it isn’t a showstopper that you’ll come back to again and again. The critics have been unduly harsh for the most part; it’s way too inoffensive to be worth the vitriol. Think of this as a sitcom that has a decent run for a couple of seasons but after that is canceled and is essentially forgotten; people don’t even binge watch it afterwards except if they’d never seen it before. It’s not essential viewing, but it’s viewing.

REASONS TO GO: Kevin Hart leads a solid cast. Occasionally funny.
REASONS TO STAY: Not funny often enough. Ludicrous plot.
FAMILY VALUES: A fair amount of police action violence, a bit of rough language, some sexuality and drug references.
TRIVIAL PURSUIT: The second film starring Ice Cube to be set in Miami; the first was All about the Benjamins.
CRITICAL MASS: As of 1/19/16: Rotten Tomatoes: 13% positive reviews. Metacritic: 32/100.
COMPARISON SHOPPING: The Other Guys
FINAL RATING: 6/10
NEXT: The Revenant