New Releases for the Week of July 25, 2019

ONCE UPON A TIME…IN HOLLYWOOD

(Columbia) Leonardo di Caprio, Brad Pitt, Margot Robbie, Luke Perry, Dakota Fanning, Al Pacino, Kurt Russell, Timothy Olyphant, Bruce Dern. Directed by Quentin Tarantino

In 1969 the world was undergoing a radical change and so was Hollywood. For action star Rick Dalton and his longtime stunt double Cliff, those changes are getting increasingly hard to navigate. Rick has an ace up his sleeve though – a very famous next door neighbor whose career is just taking off. A young star by the name of Sharon Tate.

See the trailer, clips, video featurettes and promos here
For more on the movie this is the website
Genre: Dramedy
Now Playing: Wide Release
Rating: R (for language throughout, some strong graphic violence, drug use, and sexual references

The Farewell

(A24) Awkwafina, Tzi Ma, Diana Lin, Shuzhen Zhao. A Chinese-American family returns to China, ostensibly to attend a wedding but really to spend time with their grandmother who has a short time to live but following Chinese tradition hasn’t been told the truth about her condition. The adult daughter of the family has an especially hard time concealing the truth from her beloved Nai Nai in this acclaimed indie comedy from visionary director Lulu Wang.

See the trailer, clips and a video featurette here
For more on the movie this is the website  
Genre: Drama
Now Playing: Enzian Theater
Rating: PG (for thematic material, brief language and some smoking)

Sea of Shadows

(National Geographic) Marc Davis, Andrea Crosta, Carlos Loret de Mola, Cynthia Smith. When a group of Chinese and Mexican criminals’ over-the-top methods of poaching fish in the Sea of Cortez threaten one of the most endangered species of whales in the world, a team of journalists, activists and undercover agents take on the syndicates to protect the whales and bring the perpetrators to justice.

See the trailer here
For more on the movie this is the website  
Genre: Documentary
Now Playing: Regal Winter Park Village
Rating: NR

ALSO OPENING IN ORLANDO/DAYTONA:

Above the Shadows
Clarita
Dear Comrade
iSmart Shankar
Sword of Trust

ALSO OPENING IN MIAMI/FT. LAUDERDALE:

Asako I & II
Astronaut
Dancing Elephant
Dear Comrade
iSmart Shankar
Judgementall Hai Kya
Marianne and Leonard: Words of Love
The Other Story
Yuli

ALSO OPENING IN TAMPA/ST. PETERSBURG/SARASOTA:

Dead Water
Dear Comrade
Judgementall Hai Kya
The Raft
See You Soon
Skin
Toni Morrison: The Pieces I Am

ALSO OPENING IN JACKSONVILLE/ST. AUGUSTINE:

Dear Comrade

SCHEDULED FOR REVIEW:

The Farewell
Once Upon a Time in…Hollywood

Ocean’s 8

Back in black.

(2018) Action Comedy (Warner Brothers) Sandra Bullock, Cate Blanchett, Anne Hathaway, Elliott Gould, Helena Bonham Carter, Mindy Kaling, Richard Armitrage, Awkwafina, Rihanna, Dakota Fanning, Sarah Paulson, James Corden, Dana Ivey, Elizabeth Ashley, Marlo Thomas, Charlotte Kirk, Whitney White, Charles Prendergast, Damian Young, Talia Cuomo. Directed by Gary Ross

 

Sure, we need more films with empowered women doing what men do. The Ocean’s trilogy had an A-list all-star cast including George Clooney, Matt Damon, Brad Pitt, Bernie Mac and so on and so forth. Why should they have all the fun?

Indeed, this seemed like the perfect opportunity to prove that girls just wanna have fun too but the movie is sorely lacking in the presence of Steven Soderbergh, who wrote snappy dialogue, created a retro mood that recalled the Rat Pack that made the original Ocean’s 11 and let the men loose in Sin City – obviously the cast was having a great time with one another.

Sadly, this heist movie involving the theft of a fabulous Cartier diamond necklace from the equally fabulous Met Gala party annually hosted by Vogue’s Anna Wintour (who cameos as herself, one of a raft of cameos) fails to deliver the goods. As much as the Oceans trilogy felt like all involved were having a great time, this one feels like just another job. The bonding never feels authentic and the chemistry is sorely lacking. Like the distaff version of Ghostbusters back in 2016, the movie feels less of an ensemble and more of a collection of actresses. Don’t get me wrong – some of the sequences here are done with the kind of clever wit that the Oceans films are known for and the movie is entertaining in its own right and it makes some salient points about our celebrity-obsessed culture but it doesn’t hold up to any of its predecessors except maybe the least of the series, Oceans 13.

Part of the problem is that I think the expectations for a distaff version of an established and beloved franchise is that the movie will replicate the feel of the originals and that’s hard enough to do in the first place; throw in that the cast is going to be all-female in a fairly misogynistic society as we have and the movie has two strikes on it before it gets out of the gate. I think that thand their relationships I I think that the biggest mistake that was made here was that short shrift was given to the characters at the expense of a “sisters are doing it for themselves” empowerment narrative and sisters can do it for themselves as Wonder Woman and The Hunger Games have more than proven. It’s a pity that a cast this glittery left me so cold.

REASONS TO SEE: Some of the sequences are marvelous.
REASONS TO AVOID: Lacks the camaraderie of the first three films.
FAMILY VALUES: There is some profanity, drug use and sexually suggestive content.
TRIVIAL PURSUIT: Although Gould is the only actor from the first trilogy to appear in this film, scenes were filmed with Carl Reiner and Matt Damon but were both left on the cutting room floor.
BEYOND THE THEATERS: Amazon, Fandango Now, Google Play, iTunes, Microsoft, Movies Anywhere, Vudu
CRITICAL MASS: As of 6/12/19: Rotten Tomatoes: 69% positive reviews: Metacritic: 61/100.
COMPARISON SHOPPING: Bandits
FINAL RATING: 6.5/10
NEXT: Bob Fosse: It’s Showtime!

New Releases for the Week of June 8, 2018

OCEANS 8

(Warner Brothers) Sandra Bullock, Cate Blanchett, Anne Hathaway, Helena Bonham Carter, Rihanna, Mindy Kaling, Elliott Gould, Dakota Fanning, Awkwafina. Directed by Gary Ross

Danny Ocean’s sister is released from jail and looks to prove herself by taking on an Ocean-like heist – robbing the annual Met Gala in New York City. However, she can’t do it alone; she’ll need a team of larcenous ladies. Sound familiar?

See the trailer and video featurettes video here.
For more on the movie this is the website.
Release Formats: Standard, 3D, Dolby, IMAX, RPX, XD
Genre: Heist Action
Now Playing: Wide Release
Rating: PG-13 (for language, drug use, and some suggestive comments)

First Reformed

(A24) Amanda Seyfried, Ethan Hawke, Cedric the Entertainer, Victoria Hill. A priest in a small congregation in upstate New York discovers he’s been sent to close the parish down following a tragedy. Grappling with worldly concerns as well as a tormented past of his own, he struggles to keep his faith in a world where that is increasingly hard to find.

See the trailer and a video featurette here.
For more on the movie this is the website
Release Formats: Standard
Genre: Drama
Now Playing: Regal Winter Park Village, Rialto Spanish Springs Square
Rating: R (for some disturbing violent images)

Hereditary

(A24) Alex Wolff, Gabriel Byrne, Toni Collette, Milly Shapiro. After the death of a family’s matriarch, they begin to suspect that there are mysteries in their ancestry that might have dire consequences in the here and now. The buzz on this horror film has been HUGE.

See the trailer and video featurettes here.
For more on the movie this is the website
Release Formats: Standard
Genre: Horror
Now Playing: Wide Release
Rating: R (for horror violence, disturbing images, language, drug use and brief graphic nudity)

Hotel Artemis

(Global Road) Jodie Foster, Sterling K. Brown, Sofia Boutella, Jeff Goldblum. In a future Los Angeles that is being torn apart by riots, a Nurse runs a secret members-only emergency room for criminals.

See the trailer, video featurettes and a clip here.
For more on the movie this is the website
Release Formats: Standard
Genre: Science Fiction
Now Playing: Wide Release
Rating: R (for violence and language throughout, some sexual references and brief drug use)

On Chesil Beach

(Bleecker Street) Saoirse Ronan, Emily Watson, Anne-Marie Duff, Billy Howle. A young newlywed couple in 1962 England find that their storybook romance is colliding with the reality of changing sexual mores, class pressure and evolving expectations leading to a fateful wedding night.

See the trailer and clips here.
For more on the movie this is the website
Release Formats: Standard
Genre: Drama
Now Playing: AMC Altamonte Mall, AMC Disney Springs, Regal Winter Park Village, Rialto Spanish Springs Square
Rating: R (for some sexual content and nudity)

Revenge

(Neon/Shudder) Matilda Lutz, Kevin Janssens, Vincent Colombe, Guillaume Bouchéde. The mistress of a French billionaire accompanies him to his remote hunting cabin in the desert prior to a hunting trip with the boys. When the other hunters arrive early, a party spirals out of control and leaves the woman in a fight for survival where there’s only life and death. This played this year’s Florida Film Festival.

See the trailer here.
For more on the movie this is the website
Release Formats: Standard
Genre: Horror
Now Playing: Enzian Theater
Rating: R (for strong bloody gruesome violence, a rape, sexuality, graphic nudity, drug use and language)

The Seagull

(Sony Classics) Elisabeth Ross, Saoirse Ronan, Annette Bening, Corey Stoll. In the early 20^th century, an aging actress and her lover visit the estate of her elderly and infirm brother. This is based on Anton Chekhov’s classic play.

See the trailer here.
For more on the movie this is the website
Release Formats: Standard
Genre: Drama
Now Playing: Regal Winter Park Village
Rating: PG-13 (for some mature thematic elements, a scene of violence, drug use, and partial nudity)

ALSO OPENING IN ORLANDO/DAYTONA:

Kaala
Mary Shelley
Sid and Aya
Zoo

ALSO OPENING IN MIAMI/FT. LAUDERDALE:

Bernard and Huey
Breath
Filmworker
Kaala
Here Comes Miss Modern
Let the Sunshine In

ALSO OPENING IN TAMPA/ST. PETERSBURG:

Kaala
Let the Sunshine In

ALSO OPENING IN JACKSONVILLE/ST. AUGUSTINE:

Breath
Kaala
Sid and Aya

SCHEDULED FOR REVIEW:

Hereditary
Hotel Artemis
Oceans 8
On Chesil Beach

New Releases for the Week of April 3, 2015

FURIOUS 7

(Universal) Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Michelle Rodriguez, Jason Statham, Kurt Russell, Dwayne Johnson, Jordana Brewster, Tyrese Gibson, Ludacris, Lucas Black. Directed by James Wan

To use a marketing cliche, this time it’s personal. After taking down the bad guy in Fast and Furious 6, the crew are up against the big bad brother of the last bad guy and he’s already killed one of their number. He intends to hunt them down one at a time – unless they can come together as a family and stop him the only way they know how; high octane.

See the trailer, interviews, clips, promos, a featurette and B-roll video here.
For more on the movie this is the website.
Release Formats: Standard, IMAX (opens Thursday)
Genre: Action
Now Playing: Wide Release
Rating: PG-13 (for prolonged frenetic sequences of violence, action and mayhem, suggestive content and brief strong language)

Danny Collins

(Bleecker Street) Al Pacino, Annette Bening, Christopher Plummer, Bobby Cannavale. An aging rock star on the downslope of his career hasn’t written a hit in 30 years, but after a letter surfaces written by John Lennon back when said aging rock star was a young Turk, inspires him to leave his prefabricated pop behind and go back to his roots, which means reconnecting with a son that doesn’t want him in his life, and establish new roots with the pretty manager of the hotel he’s staying at.

See the trailer, clips and a featurette here.
For more on the movie this is the website.
Release Formats: Standard
Genre: Dramedy
Now Playing: Regal Winter Park Village
Rating: R (for language, drug use and some nudity)

Effie Gray

(Adopt) Dakota Fanning, Emma Thompson, Claudia Cardinale, Derek Jacobi. The story of one of the most notorious sexual scandals of Victorian England between noted art critic John Ruskin, his teen bride Effie Gray and painter John Everett Millais. In an era where divorce was not an option, same sex love even more so and when women were not expected to have a voice or their own ideas, Gray would shatter boundaries but at a high personal cost.

See the trailer video here.
For more on the movie this is the website.
Release Formats: Standard
Genre: Drama
Now Playing: Selected Theaters
Rating: PG-13 (for thematic and sexual content, and some nudity)

Woman in Gold

(Weinstein) Helen Mirren, Ryan Reynolds, Daniel Bruhl, Katie Holmes. An elderly Jewish woman, who fled Vienna 60 years earlier to escape the Nazis, wants to reclaim family possessions seized by the Nazis to leave as a legacy for her family. One of the items is a painting called “Woman in Gold” by Gustav Klimt, one of Austria’s national treasures and hanging in their national museum. She undertakes to sue the Austrian government for its return, particularly since the subject of the painting was her Aunt to whom she held a special affection. This David and Goliath tale is based on actual events.

See the trailer, clips and B-roll video here.
For more on the movie this is the website.
Release Formats: Standard (opened Wednesday)
Genre: True Life Drama
Now Playing: AMC Altamonte Mall, AMC Downtown Disney, Regal Winter Park Village
Rating: PG-13 (for some thematic elements and brief strong language)

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart eavesdrop on their accountants discussing future earnings.

(2012) Romance (Summit) Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Peter Facinelli, Elizabeth Reaser, Ashley Greene, Jackson Rathbone, Kellan Lutz, Nikki Reed, Billy Burke, Chaske Spencer, Mackenzie Foy, Michael Sheen, Maggie Grace, Jamie Campbell Bower, Christopher Heyerdahl, Lateef Crowder, Lee Pace, Omar Metwally, Dakota Fanning. Directed by Bill Condon

All things come to an end – even the Earth one day will flicker out of existence, the victim of our sun’s own demise. For fans of the Twilight Saga, the approach of the final movie in the franchise was met with a bittersweet mixture of anticipation and sadness, knowing that once the movie was viewed that the series would be done forever and yet looking forward to seeing the climactic chapters in the book come to life.

Following the conversion of Bella Swan (Stewart) to vampirism by her new husband Edward Cullen (Pattinson) in order to save Bella’s life while giving birth to their new daughter Renesmee (Foy and ten other actresses not to mention CGI babies) life has resumed normalcy in the vampire household of the Cullens but it won’t stay that way for long. The vampire ruling class, the Morituri, have been informed of Renesmee’s birth and have decided that the child is an abomination that will never age, will become exceedingly powerful and dangerous and must be destroyed. They don’t like her name much, either. Then again, nobody does.

So leader Aro (Sheen) and an army of vampires from throughout the world come to Forks to do battle. Meanwhile, werewolf Jacob (Lautner) has been imprinted upon by baby Renesmee, which means that the two are destined to be lovers which is kind of creepy when you think about it. The feud between Jacob and Edward is more or less resolved, although neither Bella nor Edward are all that keen on having a werewolf as a future son-in-law. However, with Jacob imprinted by the vampire Jacob’s wolf clan reluctantly agrees to aid clan Cullen in the coming fight, which they know about because Alice Cullen (Greene) is, as everyone knows, psychic. Convenient, that is.

Anyway, it’s all going to culminate in one big battle in the snow with vampires and werewolves alike getting their heads torn off like so many cheap action figures. Bella, however, is now one mother of a badass and no longer needs to be the weakling relying on the protection of Edward and his family. Can the Cullens defeat the numerically superior Morituri clan or will the Morituri succeed in destroying the Cullens and the new baby once and for all?

Well, I’m sure you can figure out the answer to that one even if you aren’t familiar with the series. I have to admit that I actually enjoyed the first movie in the series but they’ve gotten progressively worse as the series has gone along. The fifth and final cinematic opus in the saga is unfortunately the very worst of the lot.

The cast is as a whole excruciating to watch. Even eminently watchable actors like Sheen and Dakota Fanning overact so shamelessly that the union might have considered revoking their membership. Worse still are the special effects, which for a movie with a $75 million production budget are unforgivably bad. More on that in a minute.

Despite their poor performances, I do feel for the cast because quite frankly, there are no actors good enough to elevate the script which contains dialogue that doesn’t sound like real people talking. Mostly you get the sense that the producers wanted the cast members (particularly the main characters) to look cool to the tween audience and their moms that make up the core of the Twihard nation. Tweens and moms are generally not the most trustworthy arbiters when it comes to cool.

Even so, I can even feel for the screenwriter because the little of the Twilight books I’ve read have been uniformly poorly written. They are a soap opera on a page, a lily white telenovela that shamelessly pushes buttons but doesn’t have the grace of self-awareness. Everything that happens in this movie lands with a mind-numbing dull thud.

I will say this, however. The movies have as rabid a fanbase as any in the history of books and movies. Those who love this franchise do so with all of their heart and soul and their loyalty is kind of touching. They don’t care whether the books are great literature. They don’t care that Pattinson and Stewart are spouting dialogue that sounds like it was written by an alien who has never spoken with an actual human being ever. They don’t care if the CGI wolves move like wolves, or if the decapitations look realistic, or if the wire work of the actors is graceful.

None of that matters to them. What they care about is the fantasy that the love story gives them, and it certainly appeals to the target audience without question. One thing you can say about author Stephanie Meyer – she truly understands what the audience she’s writing for wants and gives it to them. Many authors would kill for that kind of knack and I can’t really condemn her for doing what many writers dream of doing – connecting to her audience in a meaningful way.

I really can’t recommend the movie to general audiences, but that’s okay. This is a movie made for a specific niche audience and at the end of the day, it serves them well. I look at the Twilight series much the same way I look at rap; it’s not written for me, I was never meant to relate to it and it’s okay if someone else relates to it and it’s certainly not a bad thing. At the end of the day, it’s a good thing to feel a strong connection to something, whether it be to a book, a rap song, or a movie. Saying merely that something sucks is to not only to judge the book/song/movie in question but also the person who connects with it deeply and doing so betrays a certain amount of arrogance. Certainly I can be critical of the cinematic missteps that I found here in the movie and I have to be true to myself when I say I can’t encourage anyone who isn’t a fan of the series already to go see it. That doesn’t mean that I hate this movie or what it represents; clearly there are people who are truly inspired by the Twilight books and films. Even if I don’t share that connection, I can’t deny that it exists nor can I entirely say that the series is unsuccessful because clearly it has not only made the filmmakers and the author a whole lot of money but a whole lot of fans as well and who am I to object to that?

WHY RENT THIS: Twihards will want to see this again and again.
WHY RENT SOMETHING ELSE: Horrible special effects, bad acting, worse writing and a sense that the studio just punched this out without support or care in order to make as much money as possible.
FAMILY VALUES: Violent battle sequences, some disturbing images, a little sensuality and brief nudity.
TRIVIAL PURSUIT: Had the highest budget of any of the films in the series, and also was the only film in the series that had a complete opening credits sequence.
NOTABLE HOME VIDEO EXTRAS: The Blu-Ray contains a feature that allows you to jump to either Edward or Jacob-centric scenes. The making of feature is surprisingly good and Condon proves to be an interesting subject as he talks about the pressures of meeting fan expectations and staying true to the book while remaining cinematically viable. It’s really a lot better than most of these. There’s also an interesting featurette on the logistical issues that came from shooting two movies simultaneously.
BOX OFFICE PERFORMANCE: $829.7M on a $75M production budget.
SITES TO SEE: Netflix (DVD/Blu-Ray rental), Amazon (buy/rent), Vudu (buy/rent),  iTunes (buy/rent), Flixster (purchase only), Target Ticket (not available)
COMPARISON SHOPPING: Romeo + Juliet
FINAL RATING: 3/10
NEXT: Our Film Library concludes!

New Releases for the Week of June 6, 2014

EDGE OF TOMORROW

(Warner Brothers) Tom Cruise, Emily Blunt, Bill Paxton, Jeremy Piven, Ciaran Hinds, Noah Taylor, Kirk Gurry, Jonas Armstrong, Tony Way. Directed by Doug Liman

In the not-so-distant future, the Earth is being invaded by a vicious alien species intent on overrunning the indigenous inhabitants – us. Despite our own military advances, they are seemingly unbeatable, able to counter our every move. Into this miasma of violence and despair is dropped an officer with no combat experience. During a disastrous invasion of alien-held territory, he is killed within five minutes – only to wake up again just before the invasion. The same events unfold and he wakes up again. He begins to try to do things differently – and to his surprise, the outcome is altered somewhat. When he meets up with a woman who has been through a similar experience, he realizes that he may be the key to winning the war. Based on the acclaimed Japanese graphic novel All You Need is Kill.

See the trailer, a promo and footage from the premiere here.

For more on the movie this is the website.

Release formats: Standard, 3D, IMAX 3D (opens Thursday)

Genre: Science Fiction

Rating: PG-13 (for intense sequences of sci-fi action and violence, language and brief suggestive material)

The Fault in Our Stars

(20th Century Fox) Shailene Woodley, Ansel Elgort, Willem Dafoe, Laura Dern.Two young people who definitely fall into the “strong independent outsider” category share an acerbic sense of humor, a love for the unusual and a nearly pathological refusal to accept anything normal fall deeply in love. Unfortunately, they both share one more thing – cancer. Realizing that they could have a very limited time left, they choose to embrace the time they have and live life to the fullest while they still can. Based on the bestselling novel for young people by John Green.

See the trailer, clips, interviews, featurettes and B-Roll video here.

For more on the movie this is the website.

Release formats: Standard (opens Thursday)

Genre: Drama

Rating: PG-13 (for thematic elements, some sexuality and brief strong language)

Holiday

(Reliance) Akshay Kumar, Sonakshi Sinha, Govinda, Dipendra Sharma. This Hindi remake of the 2012 Tamil film Thuppakki  features Kumar as a soldier who while on vacation becomes involved in weeding out a crime ring.

See the trailer here.

For more on the movie this is the website.

Release formats: Standard

Genre: Bollywood

Rating: NR

Night Moves

(Cinedigm)  Jesse Eisenberg, Dakota Fanning, Peter Skarsgard, Alia Shawkat.Three ecoterrorists with different background formulate the plan to blow up a controversial dam. Afterwards their actions begin to unravel their resolve as the unintended consequences create an atmosphere of paranoia and doubt among the trio of young people.

See the trailer and a clip here.

For more on the movie this is the website.

Release formats: Standard

Genre: Thriller

Rating: R (for some language and nudity)

Words and Pictures

(Roadside Attractions) Clive Owen, Juliette Binoche, Bruce Davison, Amy Brennerman. Two teachers at an exclusive prep school – one an art teacher who can no longer paint, the other an English teacher who no longer writes – get into a war over which is more important to society, words or pictures. As the students get drawn into their good-natured conflict, the two wounded souls begin to grow attracted to each other. The review for this Florida Film Festival feature can be found here.

See the trailer and clips here.

For more on the movie this is the website.

Release formats: Standard

Genre: Romance

Rating: PG-13 (for sexual material including nude sketches, language and some mature thematic material)

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1

Be still my heart.

(2011) Romantic Fantasy (Summit) Kristin Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Peter Facinelli, Ashley Greene, Kellan Lutz, Jackson Rathbone, Elizabeth Reaser, Nikki Reed, Billy Burke, Rami Malek, Maggie Grace, Mackenzie Foy, Dakota Fanning, Lee Pace, Anna Kendrick, Michael Sheen, Christopher Heyerdahl, Booboo Stewart, Daniel Cudmore, Justin Chon, Julia Jones, Sarah Clarke. Directed by Bill Condon

Sometimes you have to take into account as a critic that your own personal taste isn’t going to mesh well with the intended audience of a film. One instance where that has been demonstrated time and again is in the Twilight series. Wildly popular, particularly among young girls (and to a large extent, their moms) it has spawned a diehard fanbase who identify themselves as TwiHards. It has also spawned an incredible backlash, mainly among boys (and to a large extent, their dads) who despise the series with a vitriol heretofore reserved for the same regard held by Jews for Nazis.

So what is a critic to do? Are we supposed to write one review for the intended fanbase and another for the rest of the world, or try to make something that can be useful to those who aren’t necessarily fans of the series but may be curious whether or not to see the movie for themselves? Generally, I tend to go for the latter route as those fans have likely already seen the movie at least once – probably during its theatrical run or if not on home video certainly.

Taking place following the events of The Twilight Saga: Eclipse, the long-awaited wedding of Bella (Stewart) and Edward (Pattinson) is finally here and yes, the blushing bride looks ravishing in a demure-yet-sexy wedding dress that of course keeps her grinning groom hungry for more. Bella’s good friend Jacob Black (Lautner), the werewolf who was the third leg of the love triangle with vampire Ed, is less sanguine about the union – not just because he wants Bella for himself but also because he realizes just how dangerous it can be for Bella. They have words and Jacob ends up running into the woods, leaving Edward to escort a distraught Bella back into the reception.

They honeymoon on Isle Esme off the coast of Brazil. There, the loving couple at last consummates their marriage. True to form, Bella wakes up one morning and discovers herself pregnant. This isn’t necessarily a good thing. It isn’t that Bella and Edward don’t want children – it’s just that the mortal human body wasn’t meant to bear the child of a supernatural undead being like Edward. It is unlikely that Bella will survive it.

Her pregnancy proceeds at an advanced rate and they cut short their honeymoon and head back to Forks. When the werewolves find out what has happened, they are furious – and terrified. The spawn of such a union will be demonic indeed and in order to protect themselves, they must kill Bella before she can give birth. Jacob of course is having none of this and he leaves his pack, creating a new pack with Seth (Stewart) and Leah (Jones) with Jacob as the Alpha.

Bella grows progressively weaker and soon is forced to drink human blood to keep the fetus viable and allows Bella to gain some much-needed strength. When she goes into labor, all Hell is going to break loose. Edward must convert her into vampirism but will it be enough to save him – to save them all?

Condon is actually a pretty decent director with such movies as Gods and Monsters and Dreamgirls to his credit. He brings Guillermo del Toro’s usual cinematographer Guillermo Navarro on board and Navarro responds with the most beautifully shot movie of the series. He also continues to stock the soundtrack, as those who came before him did, with some nifty alt-rock tunes that nicely enhance the movie and appeal nicely to the target crowd.

Unfortunately, the dialogue is cringe-inducing and the acting really hasn’t improved much over the course of the series. Of course, you can’t really blame the actors for that – Summit’s demanding shooting schedule in producing one of these suckers every year is bound to take its toll.

There is enough here that makes this a much superior film to New Moon which isn’t saying much, but it’s still not enough for me to really recommend it to most audiences. Hardcore fans will love this as they inevitably would – TwiHards are nothing if not loyal – and even those not quite so obsessed but still within the target audience are likely to find this worthwhile.

The overwrought drama and again, choosing to make Bella a simpering idiot rather than a truly strong role model for her audience is frustrating. Meyer and those involved with the series have chosen to waste an opportunity to create a hugely popular series with strong female role models and instead turns it into an indigestible bodice ripper with little redeeming value other than it excites the fantasies of young girls and middle-aged women alike. While there is certainly nothing wrong with that as a goal, at least couldn’t they have made Bella able to protect herself?

WHY RENT THIS: There are plenty of fans who think this is the best film of the series.

WHY RENT SOMETHING ELSE: I’m not one of them.

FAMILY VALUES:  There are some scenes of paranormal action, some partial nudity and scenes of sexuality, a couple of disturbing images and some mature (relatively speaking) thematic elements..

TRIVIAL PURSUIT: Author of the Twilight series of books Stephenie Meyer has a cameo appearance as a guest at the wedding of Bella and Edward.

NOTABLE HOME VIDEO EXTRAS: There is a wedding video done in the hand-held style of most home wedding videos. There’s also a Jacob Fast-Forward and an Edward Fast-Forward in which those on the respective teams can watch all the scenes that their favorite heartthrob is in without having to endure those scenes with that other guy.

BOX OFFICE PERFORMANCE: $712.2M on a $110M production budget.

COMPARISON SHOPPING: Beautiful Creatures

FINAL RATING: 4/10

NEXT: Farewell, My Concubine

New Releases for the Week of November 16, 2012

THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN PART 2

(Summit) Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Peter Facinelli, Ashley Greene, Kellan Lutz, Jackson Rathbone, Elizabeth Reaser, Maggie Grace, Dakota Fanning.  Directed by Bill Condon

This is it – the final battle between the Cullens and the Morituri with Edward, Bella and their daughter caught squarely in the crosshairs. Who will survive? Well, many of those who will be going to see this right away will know from having read the books but that’s of course only if the filmmakers stick to the script. This one brings the series to a close, although considering the billions of dollars it has generated to this point I wouldn’t be surprised to see further trips back to this world.

See the trailer, featurettes, interviews and promos here.

For more on the movie this is the website.

Release formats: Standard

Genre: Romantic Fantasy

Rating: PG-13 (for sequences of violence including disturbing images, some sensuality and partial nudity)

Jab Tak Hai Jaan

(Yash Raj) Shah Rukh Khan, Katrina Kaif, Anushka Sharma, Rishi Kapoor. A veteran of the army, living in London, chooses to lead a double life. It all comes crashing down around him however when he is forced to choose between his wife and his muse.

See the trailer here.

For more on the movie this is the website.

Release formats: Standard

Genre: Bollywood

Rating: NR

Lincoln

(DreamWorks) Daniel Day-Lewis, Tommy Lee Jones, Sally Field, Hal Holbrook. The 16th President of the United States must cope with a bloody civil war, the prejudices of his political opponents and his own conscience in order to see America through. That he did so marks him as perhaps the greatest president our country has ever had and a hero for the ages.

See the trailer, clips and a promo here.

For more on the movie this is the website.

Release formats: Standard

Genre: Biographical Drama

Rating: PG-13 (for an intense scene of war violence, some images of carnage and brief strong language)

The Sessions

(Fox Searchlight) John Hawkes, Helen Hunt, William H. Macy, Moon Bloodgood. A polio victim confined to an iron lung determines to lose his virginity at age 38. With the help of his therapists and a somewhat unorthodox priest, he sets out to make his dream come true. Based on a true story.

See the trailer here.

For more on the movie this is the website.

Release formats: Standard

Genre: Dramedy

Rating: R (for strong sexuality including graphic nudity and frank dialogue)

Smashed

(Sony Classics) Aaron Paul, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Nick Offerman, Octavia Spencer. A couple who love to party begin to find that the alcohol, drugs and sex are beginning to impact their careers and their lives. When the wife begins to spiral out of control, her very relationship with her husband comes into question as to whether or not he is a good thing for her.

See the trailer and clips here.

For more on the movie this is the website.

Release formats: Standard

Genre: Drama

Rating: R (for alcohol abuse, language, some sexual content and brief drug use)

Son of Sardaar

(Viacom18) Ajay Devgn, Sanjay Dutt, Sonakshi Sinha, Juhi Chawla. A man who returns home to the village where he grew up becomes a pawn in a long-standing family feud.

See the trailer here.

For more on the movie this is the website.

Release formats: Standard

Genre: Bollywood

Rating: NR

Dr. Seuss’ The Cat in the Hat

The Cat and Things One and Two scurry off into the sunset.

(2003) Family Comedy (Universal) Mike Myers, A,ec Baldwin, Kelly Preston, Dakota Fanning, Spencer Breslin, Sean Hayes, Amy Hill, Danielle Ryan Chuchran, Taylor Rice, Brittany Oaks, Talia Prairie, Dan Castellaneta, Victor Brandt (voice), Clint Howard, Paris Hilton. Directed by Bo Welch

After the success of Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas it made sense for producer Brian Grazer to try for a repeat. Take a beloved Dr. Seuss classic, stick an A-list comedian in the title role, and watch the bucks roll in. The trouble with Dr. Seuss’ Cat in the Hat is that instead of Ron Howard directing, it is Bo Welch making his big-screen directorial debut. And while this Cat looks slick (Welch is a production designer), it lacks the heart that made the Grinch film so charming.

Conrad (Breslin) and Sally (Fanning) are polar opposites. Conrad is constantly doing his own thing, breaking rules and finding new and unique pathways to trouble. Sally is a bossy, tightly wound control freak who is the perfect little angel to the adults around her, but a nightmare to her friends.

Their mom, Joan (Preston), works at a real estate agency whose hypochondriac boss (Hayes) has a phobia about germs, but insists his agents meet and greet clients at special monthly parties. It’s Joan’s turn to play the hostess, and the house must be absolutely immaculate or else, as the boss puts it, she’s “FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-UR-DUH.”

When her babysitter conks out, Joan rushes home, where her next-door neighbor and would-be paramour Quinn (Baldwin) hopes to marry the attractive single mom and ship off the troublesome Conrad to military school. With an admonishment to her children to keep the house spotless, Joan leaves them in the care of a new sitter (Hill) who turns out to be narcoleptic. And for the two bored siblings, the rain truly begins to fall outside … which brings in a 6-foot tall Cat (Myers). The Cat is all about having fun, and after some initial moments of “scream and run,” he befriends the two kids in an attempt to bring them into balance.

Despite the protestations of a CGI fish (voiced by Hayes), the Cat wreaks havoc on the house, especially after the appearance of Thing 1 and Thing 2 (played by a phalanx of gymnasts). With the Things is a crate which — the Cat warns Conrad — must be left closed and locked, else the world from which the Cat in the Hat comes will encroach on this one. Naturally the rule-breaking Conrad opens the crate and gets the crab-like lock stuck on the family pooch’s collar. Said pooch promptly runs away, leading to a merry chase through town in which the suspicious Quinn follows, trying to get possession of the dog to finally bust Conrad permanently and give his mom a reason to ship the boy away.

If you’ve read the classic children’s book, you basically know the story and how it ends. There is a great deal more back story here, and a ton of gags, some of which are a bit more adult than Theodore Geisel might have used.

Myers plays the cat as a demented cross between SNL character Linda “Kawfee Tawk” Richman and the Cowardly Lion; he has moments where he is charming, but sometimes goes a bit more over-the-top than works. The kids are cute enough, but Conrad is such a jerk early on you kind of hope that he does get sent to military school — it might just do him some good.

The star here is the production design — no surprise, since that’s how Welch has mostly made his living. The town of Anyville is a melding of the kitschy suburbia of Edward Scissorhands and the curved-line chaos of Whoville, with a bit of theme park architecture. Everything is in bright primary colors, not unlike the books. And while Myers is more of a Cheshire cat than the thin, angular drawing of the Seuss books, the vision is still very Seussian.

But this Cat simply didn’t have as much heart as it needed. These days, kid movies really need to play to adults as well, but The Cat in the Hat goes a bit overboard in that direction. Some of the jokes are inappropriate for younger children. Myers’ Cat is more of a smarmy game show host than the force of nature depicted in the book, and there is almost no charm to him. Jim Carrey brought charm to the Grinch, which helped that film work.

This is a close call. It is a visually attractive movie, and there are some moments — particularly near the end — which are quite magical; just not enough to sustain an entire movie. Given what the character has meant to children for fifty years – even the grown-up ones – that’s a shame. The kids in this movie probably could have used a good spanking – although they probably would get a time out in this day and age. The filmmakers should have gotten one as well.

WHY RENT THIS: Terrific production design. A theme park come to life.

WHY RENT SOMETHING ELSE: Tries too hard to appeal to all audiences. Myers doesn’t capture the essence of the character. A major disappointment.

FAMILY MATTERS: There is a little bit of crude humor, as well as a few jokes that might raise the eyebrows of parents as being inappropriate.

TRIVIAL PURSUITS: As a result of this film, Audrey Geisel, widow of Theodore “Dr. Seuss” Geisel, refused to consider any more live action versions of her late husband’s work, giving as her reason that this movie veered too much from her husband’s family-friendly work.

NOTABLE DVD FEATURES: There is a brief – very brief – featurette on Dr. Seuss, and also a feature on choosing which image to use on a U.S. Post Office Cat in the Hat stamp. For kids, there’s a dance along feature.

BOX OFFICE PERFORMANCE: $134.0M on a $109M production budget; the feature lost money during it’s theatrical run.

FINAL RATING: 5/10

TOMORROW: Cedar Rapids

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

 

It's a hunk-off.

(2010) Romantic Fantasy (Summit) Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Bryce Dallas Howard, Billy Burke, Peter Facinelli, Dakota Fanning, Kellan Lutz, Ashley Greene, Nikki Reed, Jackson Rathbone, Elizabeth Reaser.  Directed by David Slade

I can’t think of many teenage girls – or middle aged women for that matter – who don’t find the idea of two hunky guys fighting over her appealing. Add the additional factor that both of them are willing to give up their lives in defending her and, well, let’s just say it makes for a lot of soulful sighing.

Bella Swan (Stewart) is finally blissful. Graduation is rapidly approaching and she has been reunited with her vampiric boyfriend Edward Cullen (Pattinson) following the events of The Twilight Saga: New Moon. Not only that but he has proposed! Wedding bells are most definitely in the offing!

However, all is not roses and chocolate for the happy couple. Bella is very conflicted by her feelings for her hunky werewolf friend Jacob Black (Lautner) and Victoria (Howard) is back in town, recruiting an army of Newborns (recently converted vampires who tend to be more vicious and stronger than regular ones) to tear Bella’s face off since she blames her for the death of her boyfriend in the first movie.

In order to protect Bella, the vampires and werewolves of Forks agree to get together to hold off Victoria’s army. In addition, the vampire ruling body the Volturi, in the person of Jane (Fanning) are watching very keenly to see what happens and whether or not the Cullen family should be allowed to handle things in Forks their own way. It’s enough to make a girl break out the Clearasil, y’know?

I will admit that I was actually surprised at how much I liked Twilight. New Moon I didn’t like so much and now the third movie I have to say was so bad I almost didn’t review it. The dialogue is impossibly overwrought, and the characters act like their brains shut off because their emotions were just…too…much.

I’ve always considered the Twilight series to be the Harlequin Romance novels for teen girls and in a lot of ways that’s pretty accurate. In another era, Edward Cullen would have been played by Fabio, but in this case the trade-off might not have been so bad. Pattinson is a decent enough actor but he is given little to do but brood, sulk and glower at Lautner. There is a bro-bonding moment in the snowy mountains during a scene when they are attempting to hide Bella from Victoria (unsuccessfully – as most of their plans usually are) that comes out of nowhere, but is mercifully short. Just for the record, guys never ever EVER talk about their feelings for a girl, especially when they both have feelings for her. Even if one of them is 109 years old.

Like many writers, I don’t see why anyone would fight over Bella. Author Stephenie Meyer has mistaken willful for strong. Being stubborn in the face of common sense isn’t empowering, ladies – it’s just plain foolish. Other than occasional defiance of those who love her, Bella is more or less a weak sort, more upset over having to choose between Jacob and Edward than she is at having a vicious killer after her. She requires constant supervision and protection – yeah, just the sort of girl I want to be around.

I have in the past been guilty of damning movies in this series with faint praise and I will admit without hesitating that I’m not the target audience for this movie. However, I try to give even hormone-soaked teens and their estrogen-infused moms the benefit of the doubt. They aren’t stupid and I think if the movie had more realistic depictions of the relationships, the ladies might actually accept that just as readily – and their boyfriends might even show up too. A little more maturity might actually be good here. Too bad the studio and the filmmakers – and the author – don’t give the audience credit for appreciating a romance that actually has some depth to it.

WHY RENT THIS: Western Washington scenery is breathtaking.  

WHY RENT SOMETHING ELSE: Action sequences are awkward and the movie is just flat-out poorly written, poorly acted and falls short of the other movies in the series.

FAMILY VALUES: There are some fairly intense action sequences and a bit of sexuality; should be okay for all but the youngest pre-teens.

TRIVIAL PURSUIT: Howard replaced Rachel Lefevre as Victoria due to Lefevre’s filming commitment to Barney’s Version which overlapped with this movie.

NOTABLE DVD EXTRAS: There are music videos from Metric and Muse (a couple of pretty cool bands) and a still photo gallery but that’s about it.

BOX OFFICE PERFORMANCE: $698.5M on a $68M production budget; the movie was a big time blockbuster like the first two installments in the series.

FINAL RATING: 3/10

TOMORROW: The Trip